Chapter 4

It was the first shining emotion she’d ever had, growing up under the shadow of crushing debt. Honestly, she’d always wondered, ‘Why did they bring me into this world full of suffering?’ She’d never even felt affection for her parents.

But when she thought of Ryu-il, or saw him, she felt like maybe it wasn’t so bad to have been born. If she hadn’t been her mother’s daughter, she’d never have met him.

Because she’d grown up in Ryu Gil-jae, she’d received his notebooks. It was the only rare good thing to come from a life that had been at rock bottom from the start.

Just being able to bump into him by chance in her daily life… that was the luck she could hope for, having been born this way.

Sometimes she’d see him heading out at dawn. She’d smile shyly, exchange glances, and pray behind him for his happiness that day. Even in her weary, exhausting life, just seeing him sometimes was enough.

Maybe that unrequited love was the only joy she had, her one small thrill.

Since she was eight, she’d only interacted with Ryu-il a handful of times. To be honest, those were trivial moments, but to her, each was a precious memory, like a candle in the dark.

But then……

“Ryu-il. You’ll have to sleep with that guy. As often as possible.”

To hear that suggestion from Kyung-won was beyond shocking—her mind went blank.

She really liked him, but maybe that was exactly why……

Just then, her phone rang. It was a call from her mother. She frowned and answered immediately.

“Mom?”

—Yes, Hee-won. Are you home?

“I am. I just got in.”

Her mother’s voice sounded a little urgent. When she said she was home, her mother sighed in relief and spoke quickly.

—Oh, thank goodness. Hee-won, can you do me a favor? It’s for Ryu Gil-jae.

“Sure, what is it?”

Strictly speaking, she wasn’t employed as staff at Ryu Gil-jae. But helping her mother with errands like this had been second nature since she was little.

—The Senior Executive Director is back. Quickly take some tea and snacks to his room. Everything’s already prepared in the kitchen, so you just need to drop it off. I thought he was coming back at dawn, but……

Her mother sounded flustered, so she tilted her head and asked,

“Aren’t you on shift at Ryu Gil-jae right now?”

She’d run simple errands before, but never anything requiring such professional service. Especially anything involving direct contact with the Wigang family—her mother had always kept her away from that, so something felt off.

—Y-yes. I am. But things got mixed up… I’m talking with the Chairman, so get it done before I finish. Quickly.

Basically, her mother wanted her to finish before running into Ryu-il. She grumbled under her breath.

“I just came in, haven’t even washed or dried my hair…”

—It’s urgent. Go, okay?

“Okay.”

Her mother sounded so rushed that she agreed and hung up. Even if she wasn’t an official staff, she couldn’t just go in wearing anything, so she dug out her mother’s uniform from the closet. It was a bit big for her, but she had no choice.

The rain had stopped. She walked across the wet lawn toward Ryu Gil-jae.

* * *

Just as her mother said, tea and traditional sweets were already prepared in the kitchen. The lady working there looked at her and grumbled.

“Your mom sends you for this kind of thing?”

“Ah… sorry. I guess something came up.”

“Really, where’s her mind these days… Tell her off for me. You’re not even on the payroll, why make a student do chores at home?”

“Haha, I’m too old to be called a student. Never thought I’d be living at Ryu Gil-jae this long, it’s embarrassing.”

“Anyway, hurry up. Stop by on your way back. I’ll pack some leftover sweets for you to eat. And make sure to scold your mom. Got it?”

The lady, who knew their situation well, clicked her tongue and patted her back. Among the staff at Ryu Gil-jae, her mother had a great reputation, and they all admired Hee-won for studying so hard and getting into a top pharmacy school.

She smiled and thanked her, then hurried up to the third floor, carrying the cool cinnamon punch with pine nuts floating in a white porcelain cup.

She hadn’t known before, but apparently whenever Ryu-il returned from abroad, he always requested these snacks the first night. He looked so cold and stern, like someone who’d never touch a sweet, so she found it oddly cute. Still, every step toward his room felt like she was up to something naughty—her heart thudded with every step.

‘No, this is just an errand… I won’t even run into him, anyway.’

She still couldn’t imagine herself accepting Kyung-won’s proposal.

It seemed like a lifeline at first glance. Her shadowy crush had, deep down, already begun to imagine a strange compromise.

But just because she wanted to sleep with Ryu-il didn’t mean he’d agree. Worse, her mother could be fired instantly.

Maybe she never had a choice to begin with. That’s how it always was between them.

With a helplessly tangled heart, she stood at Ryu-il’s door and knocked, just in case. No sound came from inside.

He probably hadn’t returned yet. If she just put the snacks on his desk and left before he came back, everything would go as planned. She carefully opened the door and went inside.

She’d entered his room a few times before, always when he was abroad for language study or a long business trip. Since she wasn’t staff and hadn’t been formally trained, she couldn’t do any real work anyway.

‘Something’s weird. Even if the room’s empty, Mom would never have me do this with the owner’s home.’

Her mother was a professional when it came to work. Something was definitely up. Feeling uneasy, she placed the plate of sweets and cinnamon punch on his desk. Just as she was about to leave, something caught her eye.

‘Huh, this…’

She hadn’t noticed before, but behind the big bookshelf was a small window. She remembered there used to be curtains there.

She’d always assumed there was just a wall or something, but there was a small window in such an odd spot. As she approached, she realized it looked out directly over the rear garden.

Looking down at the rear garden felt strange. That was where she’d spent all her time. Not being a staff, she could only move between her assigned room and the rear garden.

Sharing a tiny one-room with her mother wasn’t easy. With her mother working shifts, she’d often studied on the garden bench to let her rest. When she felt weak, she’d jump rope there, and sometimes she’d cry alone.

If she’d known the rear garden was so exposed, she might not have done any of that. She blushed at the thought, but then reminded herself—why would Ryu-il ever be looking out here?

‘But it really is small, seeing it from here.’

Even on the third floor, the ceilings were high, so she could see the whole garden at a glance. In some ways, the garden was even smaller than his room. She stared blankly for a moment, then sighed and turned to leave.

“Did you see everything?”

Her heart dropped. Her empty hands started to tremble. Ryu-il stood leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

“Should I give you more time?”

His voice was low and relaxed, but he was a man used to commanding others, and even the air felt different. Fresh back from an overseas trip, he looked tired yet somehow languid, his eyes calmly fixed on her. She couldn’t even guess how long he’d been there.

“S-s-s-sorry, Senior Executive Director.”

She bowed hastily. Her mind went blank, and she couldn’t speak properly. She should have just left the snacks and gotten out—she’d done something foolish.

“M-m-my mom, she, um, urgently… sent me…”

She couldn’t even finish her sentence, suddenly afraid her mother might get fired.

Ryu Gil-jae paid its staff very well, but was strict about everything. Nothing was ever done carelessly. If the Ryu family was even slightly displeased, staff were fired on the spot, without warning. It was even written into their contracts.

Staff called it the ‘one-out system’—many had been fired that way. Recently, someone was dismissed for handing Chairman Ryu Won-jong a pen without removing the cap.

But this was far worse. An untrained daughter barging in, looking around the owner’s room—she’d have no excuse if they were fired.

Objectively, both she and her mother were at fault. The more she thought about it, the more pathetic she felt.

If her mom was fired… she hadn’t even graduated yet… what about next month’s interest payments…?

She couldn’t even straighten up, and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Lift your head.”

His voice was hard. She cautiously raised her gaze, tears shimmering, and met his quiet, intense eyes.