Chapter 80

“Do I have to answer that?”

“I’m asking you, Lennox. What are you going to do?”

Ellen’s emotions were so stirred she couldn’t hide them. Lennox looked at her calmly and said,

“It’s impossible for me to just live forgetting you.”

Lennox noticed Ellen’s grip tightening on his hem. He decided to push her a little more.

“But there’s a way to keep you off my mind. I’ll go back to being a mercenary.”

“…!”

Ellen’s head snapped up. Lennox met her anxiously trembling gaze and slowly, word by word, spoke.

“If I don’t do that, I won’t be able to bear it.”

“…No.”

Ellen’s face turned starkly pale. Her fingertips went cold, her mind a mess. Lennox must not become a mercenary. She’d never seen mercenaries herself, but she vaguely knew they did dangerous work. To give up the captaincy of the Pamphilenet Order and become a mercenary—no, that must not happen. Anything but that.

“No! Don’t do it. Don’t become a mercenary!”

“…….”

Lennox looked down at Ellen, who was shouting desperately, her eyes trembling.

“Why would you become a mercenary? Why give up your status and safety for that? No.”

“As long as you keep stubbornly insisting on this bet, you have no right to tell me what to do.”

“No, that’s different. I don’t know much about mercenaries, but they do dangerous things! Why would you give up the captaincy and choose danger?”

“If you won’t come back, being captain or a mercenary means nothing to me.”

“Why doesn’t it mean anything? That position guarantees your status and honor! You’re not forced into danger. So why…”

Suddenly, memories from the past rushed in. The first time Lennox returned from war. She could still recall his grim eyes. Lennox, pushed to the battlefield by her father. The times she worried he’d be hurt. She accepted marriage just hoping he’d be safe.

It was better when she couldn’t hear news of him. At least she could hope he was safe somewhere.

‘But if he becomes a mercenary…’

The moment she heard he’d become a mercenary, she couldn’t hope anymore. It was like going back to those days, worrying about Lennox’s safety. She had to stop him from leaving the captaincy.

“Please, Lennox. Don’t become a mercenary. Please.”

In the end, Ellen let go of Lennox’s hem, knelt, and bowed her head. For him, she didn’t care about acting humbly. If it would make Lennox take back his words, she’d bow as much as needed.

Her desperate gesture brought Lennox a strange mix of joy and sadness—like water and oil—for a woman who could bow her head for him. Without showing it, Lennox didn’t respond. He wanted to hear her true feelings. That was why he’d baited her.

“Innis… Innis is precious, but I don’t want you hurt or dead. I hate that. Don’t do it. Don’t become a mercenary.”

Lennox slowly knelt and lifted Ellen’s chin with his hand. Her eyes, already red from crying, welled with fresh tears, ready to fall. Ellen looked at Lennox with a trembling voice.

“Why… did I give you up… Why did I marry that awful Baron Dermann… I consoled myself thinking you were living well somewhere, even if I couldn’t see you… How can you say such things so easily?”

Suddenly, emotion surged up from deep inside, fierce and unstoppable, rising from feelings buried for five years. She couldn’t stop it. Her throat tightened and the hot emotion finally burst out—the true feelings she’d denied for so long.

“Hearing you say you’ll become a mercenary and do dangerous work right in front of me… How can I just let that go? How can I accept that?”

As Ellen shouted, she flinched, her face showing sudden regret and worry, as if she’d revealed something shameful. A smile appeared on Lennox’s lips.

“…Now you’re finally speaking your true feelings.”

“…….”

“Why did you do it five years ago? Why did you marry that awful Baron Dermann? What happened to you while I was gone? Tell me, Ellen!”

“…Sob.”

Instead of answering, Ellen burst into tears. Tears ran down her cheeks. Lennox’s hand, supporting her chin, lost its strength and her head dropped. Thick tears fell on the carpet. Ellen’s crying didn’t stop for a long time.

* * *

“…….”

“…….”

Ellen’s crying finally ebbed as the sun dipped further west. Her sobs faded into the fireplace, leaving heavy silence. Lennox, who had waited silently for her to finish, finally spoke.

“There’s somewhere to go.”

Staggering, Ellen lifted her heavy body. Her legs gave out and she collapsed, so Lennox grabbed her arm.

“It’s not over yet.”

“…Okay.”

Lennox held Ellen’s arm and led her down the stairs. Ellen stumbled several times but forced herself to follow.

“Captain.”

Roy, who was patrolling the mansion’s perimeter, approached. Lennox spoke coldly.

“No one follows.”

“Yes.”

Roy nodded and stepped back, sensing something serious in Ellen’s swollen face and Lennox’s red eyes. Lennox brought a horse and seated Ellen in front. Mounting behind her, he rode out of the mansion. Ellen looked up. Whether it was because the lord had died, or because of Lennox’s actions, Leodell was deserted. There used to be at least some residents, but now it was a ghost town, with only lonely hoofbeats echoing.

The horse headed for the outskirts. The lonely outskirts, bathed in sunset, were beautiful. The land glowed with sunset, coloring Ellen and Lennox as well. At the end of the sunset road, a cemetery for nobles appeared.

“Here…”

“It’s Viscount Valère’s and Viscountess Valère’s graves.”

Lennox answered briefly, dismounting. He helped Ellen down. Ellen walked slowly. Lennox didn’t follow, leaning against the horse and watching. The marble gravestones glowed in the sunset. They hadn’t been tended for a while, and dust settled on the flat stones. Ellen reached out and brushed away the dust. She looked at the gravestone of Viscount Valère standing beside Viscountess Valère’s. Ellen brushed the dust from Viscount Valère’s stone.

“Did you bury my father here?”

Her voice was rough from crying. Lennox answered slowly.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It’s separate from my feelings.”

“For me?”

Lennox didn’t answer. Ellen stood up.

“I want to go to Laura’s grave.”

Lennox put Ellen on the horse and rode slowly. The sunset gradually faded into darkness. Before it was completely dark, they arrived at Laura’s grave. Again, Lennox stayed by the horse, and only Ellen stood before Laura’s grave. She brushed away dry grass and dust from the granite stone and spoke quietly.

“I… truly thought of Laura as my mother.”

“…….”

“Laura was the first person to show me what a mother’s love was. She accepted all my childishness. Her embrace was so warm and comforting. I even envied you for having Laura as your mother.”

“Yes.”

“I learned a lot from Laura. I was able to raise Innis because of what Laura taught me.”

“…….”

“Thank you, Lennox. For coming to me with Laura.”

Lennox didn’t answer. Ellen didn’t seem to expect one, just looking down at Laura’s stone. Lennox slowly approached. He knelt beside her, ran his thumb over the rough gravestone, and spoke.

“A week after you left, I was able to get out of the basement.”

“…….”

“I heard from a servant that you’d married. I went to Viscount Valère’s study to confirm. Do you remember, Ellen? The day mother suddenly passed away.”

“Yes. They said Laura was in an accident. I couldn’t go to the funeral because of my mother’s orders.”

“Yes. That’s right. That day, part of my world collapsed. Miserably… very miserably.”

“It was the same for me, Lennox.”

“Viscount Valère, obsessed with an heir, tried to *ssault my mother, who was a noble by birth. She escaped by jumping out the window.”

“……!”

Ellen, her eyes swollen and red from crying, turned to Lennox. Her dark eyes shook violently. Her lips trembled and her heart began to race. She couldn’t immediately grasp what she was hearing.

“Is that true?”

“Yes. He told Adol that, not knowing I was listening outside.”

Lennox felt the anger from that time boiling up again. He struggled to calm it and spoke, trying not to show emotion.