“William Winston seems to have been stupider than I thought. If he was going to side with Letters, he should have taken all the latest confidential information his father had collected, why did he take less than half?”

Izer picked up his teacup and replied.

“I suppose he died before he had time to tell his son everything.”

“There were a lot of ominous rumors going around at that time.”

Three years after Marcotti Berienne’s suicide, on the same day, Colin Winston, who had been the Minister of Finance during the war, died.

It was a sudden heart attack. He was found dead with a face full of terror, his finger distinctly pointing at a certain spot. On the day he died, the maids’ stories about hearing the voice of the dead General Berienne added to the rumors before fading away as rumors usually do.

Izer answered without taking his eyes off the mail. Jade recognized the foreign stamp on the envelope.

“With the prince’s personality, he probably tore apart the old Winston house. Literally, he must have torn up the walls and floors to find documents. There must have been numerous spaces that even the stupid William Winston never discovered.”

“There must have been loads of Treven’s military secrets in there.”

The public was thrown into confusion when they learned that Colin Winston had been a traitor.

And Count Schwenn’s eyes rolled back. Because the great James III didn’t want to admit his mistake of favoring Colin Winston and disgracing Marcotti Berienne.

Since when was the Minister of Finance General Berienne’s subordinate? He was outraged, asking when did this happen — when he had been making a fuss about military expenditure, when he had been demanding military secrets saying money was leaking to strange places, and now they’re saying he was a subordinate?

Still, James III wouldn’t back down.

So this time, Duke Chesterfield knocked on the palace doors. Saying there were more than enough countries wanting Chesterfield’s money even without Treven, so it would be nice if they could amicably erase Berienne’s name from Treven’s noble registry.

James III took Duke Chesterfield’s calm request as a threat.

As a result, Grand Commander Marcotti Berienne became Treven’s great hero. Celian Chesterfield became both that hero’s daughter and another hero who achieved great merit in killing Ferbien Letters and raising Treven’s spirit.

“If Beth wasn’t so young, she would have received a title right away, but we can’t help it if she doesn’t want it. I think finishing school should come first too.”

“……”

Jade was quiet. When Izer looked up, he had a moved expression on his face.

“What?”

“Izer, it’s been three months. Since you’ve had such a long conversation with me……”

“Has it been that long already.”

Jade hesitated before asking.

“……Did you visit today too?”

Celian Chesterfield’s grave was empty. But her burial site was full of flowers left one or two at a time by various friends and those who had previously despised her.

Izer closed his book. The afternoon sunlight poured behind the head of the man as he stood up.

“I didn’t go today.”

“……”

“Because I can’t keep suffering forever.” 

 * * *

 Celian, April has returned.

I don’t know how warm it is outside. According to people, that is. I’m not sure. What does it matter whether it’s warm or not warm.

Still, I’m glad there are many flowers blooming. It means I have more to offer you. The grass has grown a lot too. They trimmed the grass on all the other graves, but I told them to leave yours as is.

The day I first met you, you were surrounded by wildflowers too. Wearing a sky-blue dress in the middle of an unkempt garden, you looked just like a fairy in the forest.

You smiled at me like you’re used to the reaction when I didn’t know how to respond upon seeing your silver hair for the first time. You innocent Miss, you shouldn’t smile so carelessly at men. Did you even know how many boys cried and laughed at just one of your smiles?

I’ll tell you now, but I wrote down the names of all the boys who lingered around the villa to see your face in red ink. Back then, we had a superstition that if you wrote someone’s name in red ink, a demon from hell would come and take them away.

Lian, the first time you called my name was on a spring day similar to today.

I remember everything about that day. You were standing in front of a small tree. Endlessly staring up wanting to climb it, glancing at me, looking back at the tree, glancing at me again……

I could hear you muttering to yourself as you measured how much taller I was than you. ‘I don’t think I can do it……’ How hurt my pride was at those words.

I wished then that I was someone much older and taller than you. Then I could have lifted you up and put you on the tree. In the end, you compromised by asking me to call your father. That was the first day you called my name.

Looking up at you swinging your legs on the tree, I stayed by your side. Actually, while you couldn’t climb up alone, it was a height you could get down from. But you didn’t tell me to leave, so I remained under the tree.

Lian, I was afraid of you. Of you standing beside me as if it was natural, of me accepting that as natural. I trembled in fear wondering if today, tomorrow, or next week would be the day this unnatural miracle would disappear.

But I was happy. Every time you looked at me with that bright smile, every time your lips called my name, every time you ran across the garden after spotting me, I was too busy trembling with joy to remember my pain. At night I would shake with self-loathing, but during the day I would linger around the tree you loved.

You taught me how stupid a person could become. My resolve to leave I made the night before would vanish without a trace the moment you called my name. The morning sun would push down my determination to ignore your call below the ridge, making me run to you wagging my tail. Both the sun and you were beautiful. You were most beautiful in the sunlight.

And my queen, you were a brave Miss.

Actually, I knew even then. That I, the cowardly Izer Ren, tried somehow to blame my wrongdoings on you.

That I embraced you because you wanted me, that I stayed by your side because you needed me. Comforting myself, I repeated over and over that I existed for you.

It was all bullshit.

The reason I embraced you was because I wanted you. The reason I stayed by your side was because I needed you.

So, everything that happened to you was my fault for desiring you.

While His Majesty the King wasted time on worthless concerns, I hunted down one by one everyone who contributed even slightly to dragging you to that bastard’s den that day. The heads that had all sorts of filthy thoughts while looking at you were all empty inside.

From the lowest depths of society, I killed those who lived like insects slowly because it would have been a waste to just kill them. Destroying their businesses, driving their children to ruin, exposing their shame…… It was annoying but not difficult. Holding back the urge to kill them immediately was what was hard.

But now it’s all over, Lian.

I always told you I wanted to live. You would counter that it was just a natural instinct, but I know. The reason I wanted to live was because you were alive. Because I wanted to walk this world together where you breathed, shone, sparkled, and sang, that’s why I wanted to live.

You know, today I received word that Ophelia Montes died. They say she hit her head on the bed when she fell while making a fuss demanding more of the drug I had secretly given her. It’s such an ordinary end that it’s almost embarrassing to say, but the kind you might think that’s enough.

Lian, I’ve only been waiting for today. The day I could proudly come see you after sending all the bastards who tormented you to hell — the moment I’ve been anticipating ever since I heard you were no longer under the same sky as me has finally come.

I’m so happy right now. You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed you. I don’t know if something like this will improve your mood, but since I did my best, won’t you forgive me a little?

No, even asking for forgiveness is a luxury for me. Please just let me lick even your feet. It’s fine if I could just stand behind you and watch. It’s fine to watch from so far away I can’t make out your face.

Just be before my eyes. I’m begging like this. I’ll be satisfied just being in the same place as you. What idiotic nonsense is that, you ask?

Lian, my queen—

This desperation is love to me. 

 * * *

 Bang bang bang bang.

It was a knock too excessive for announcing a visit. The maid who opened the door made a surprised face.

“Sir Owen? What brings you here?”

“Where is His Grace?”

“Come to think of it, he’s late waking up today. He usually gets up around this time, but lately it’s been irregular……”

“Take me to him.”

“What?”

“Take me to him, now!”