Chapter 1

Soyoon stood inside the building and held out her hand in front of her. Because of the rain pouring down as if there were a hole in the sky, the palm of Soyoon’s hand was quickly drenched. Even the cicadas that had been crying so loudly until yesterday that her ears hurt seemed to have disappeared, and only the sound of rain could be heard.

Since it was midsummer, even the rain felt hot, and she pulled back the hand she had stretched out. There was no way rain could be hot. Soyoon briskly rubbed her soaked palm against her pants.

The faded jeans that covered her ankles had darkened only around the thighs. She quietly stared at the darkened pants with regretful eyes. The wind, heavy with moisture, changed the direction of the rain. Thinking her only pair of sneakers was about to get wet, Soyoon quickly stepped back.

Anyway, she knew they would get soaked the moment she started walking in the rain. But taking even one step, she hesitated for some reason. Was it because of the sudden rain? Or because of her aching knees and ankles?

She slowly rotated her ankles, which were trying to stiffen, loosening the tension in her legs.

Trying hard not to think about the memories that came to mind whenever she saw rain, Soyoon squeezed her eyes shut tight, then opened them. As if she were trying to steady herself. She put strength into her toes inside her sneakers.

Because she knew very well that the moment she let down her guard, a crack would open.

If even a small gap opened, she would not be able to endure the memories pouring in mercilessly. No, because she knew that now, none of it would do any good anyway.

Whatever kind of memories they were, she would not let them leak out. She bound her heart with invisible strings so they could not be seen.

After blankly staring at the rain pouring down so fiercely it was frightening, as though it did not care what became of the ground, she turned her eyes away.

No matter what, it seemed she would have to cancel her plans today.

Just then, she sensed someone behind her.

“See you, Miss Soyoon! Ugh, this damned rain! Why the hell did it have to start all of a sudden?”

“I know, right. Please get home safely, Miss Park.”

“See you tomorrow!”

“Yes.”

Miss Park, who had been grumbling that the rain was irritating, gave a rough wave of her hand, then opened her umbrella and disappeared into the rain. Soyoon watched the place where she vanished and smiled faintly.

The place where she worked was a small orthopedic clinic in the neighborhood. The orthopedic clinic, located on the second floor without an elevator, had surprisingly many patients. It was ironic. An orthopedic clinic, and of all things, on the second floor. On top of that, there was no inpatient ward.

〈Shinseonggi Orthopedic Clinic〉

It had been almost a year since she started working here as a nurse’s aide.

Each time she drew a breath, hot air mixed in, making her brow furrow on its own. Days like this were truly awful for her. Neither her body nor her mind cooperated.

She wanted to go home right away, collapse, and fall asleep. The dampness had gone beyond clammy to the point that a musty mold smell stung her nose, but still, having a place to lay her head and a place where she could lie down at all was something to be grateful for. Though even that, now, she had to leave.

The moment she remembered how the landlord had been telling her for months to vacate the house because of redevelopment, her head began to throb.

She had been like this continuously for the last two days. In low spirits, strength drained from her shoulders, and she remained in a gloomy state where only sighs kept coming out.

No, to be precise, after she had run into Seohyeon by chance, her heart had felt heavy.

It really had been a coincidence. She had parted from Seohyeon, her best friend since elementary school, when they were in their final year of high school. The place where she met that friend again after six years of sudden separation was the convenience store where she worked part-time after finishing her hospital job.

Seohyeon, who had stopped by the convenience store as a customer at dawn, had grabbed hold of her with a face full of disbelief, shouted, gotten angry, stamped her feet, and cursed. Her friend was exactly the same as in her old memories.

Would he be the same too? Would he not have changed? For a moment, she was curious, but she did not ask Seohyeon.

Seohyeon scolded her for how she had never contacted her once, said she was disappointed, then threatened her—if it could be called a threat—not to disappear again, before hugging her tightly and beginning to cry out loud. Only when a customer came did her friend finally separate from her with difficulty.

When Seohyeon persistently asked when her day off was, Soyoon told her the truth that she was off two days later. Seohyeon arbitrarily made plans, saying they should have a drink together. In truth, Soyoon had been so happy too. They had been friends who were together every single day.

During adolescence, and during those foolish times when they got into trouble without thinking. The only friend with whom she had shared every secret.

But faced with a reality so changed from the past, she hesitated for a moment. Yet Seohyeon acted as though she did not care at all.

Hoo-

〈Come quickly! I’m already here!〉

It felt as though she could hear Seohyeon’s voice. Telling her not to be late, telling her to come quickly. Why did her friend’s persistence feel pleasant and yet chilling at the same time? Just a little while ago, even the air clinging to her had felt hot, but suddenly goosebumps rose on her forearms.

No matter how much she thought about it, she knew it was useless.

So Soyoon thr*st out the foot she had been hesitating with. If there was no answer to be found, then she would rather enjoy the time with a friend she was seeing again after so long.

Soyoon’s stiff jaw loosened a little. She had learned through her own body over the years that whether she wanted to do it or not, there were things she could not avoid, so she shook off all the unease in her heart.

***

“How long has it been!”

“I know.”

“You awful girl. Do you know how much I cried after you left without a word?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Actually, I went to your house. I went there to tell you.

“And not just me, Do-ha oppa also…”

“Seohyeon.”

“Hm?”

Soyoon cut Seohyeon off in a hurry and smiled, stretching the corners of her mouth. Slowly, she tipped back a shot of soju in one go.

It was bitter. The taste of the alcohol, no. Her heart.

“I’m really happy to see you again after so long.”

“I know. We’re meeting often from now on, right?”

The old Seohyeon used to know that when Soyoon changed the subject, it meant she did not want to talk about it, and would let it pass on her own. So much time had passed, but Seohyeon still remembered her habit and let it go with a smile.

“You can really hold your liquor now, huh?”

“…Can I?”

She had never thought of herself as someone who drank well. Even hospital staff dinners, she only attended once in a while because of her part-time job.

When work ended, she merely sat at the table outside the convenience store and quickly threw back her drinks. She liked how quickly the slight dizziness came over her. That way, when she got home, she could fall asleep immediately without thinking about anything.

Since she had matched her drinking pace to Seohyeon’s, she was not drunk. As time passed, she actually felt even clearer-headed.

When she counted the bottles, it was already the third one.

Do I really drink well?

She did not know.

She rested her chin on one hand and looked outside at the pouring rain. She could feel Seohyeon mirroring her and resting her chin the same way.

“It’s raining so much.”

“…It is.”

“Do you remember before?”

Instead of answering, she lifted the corners of her mouth. As though that alone was enough to understand, Seohyeon went on.

“Whenever it rained, we used to go out and get absolutely drenched without even an umbrella.”

“What was so fun about it back then?”

At this point, she really became curious. Now, just the thought of rain made her skin crawl, so what had she liked so much about it back then that she had run around singing?