Chapter 22

On the other hand, it was strange seeing Raphael never leave her side and attend to her every need. He acted as if he had abandoned all dignity and pride, making it hard to believe he had so ruthlessly killed the servants just days before.

Raphael muttered as if the diagnosis made no sense.

“I’ll go out right now and find a competent doctor.”

“‥‥‥.”

“If the next doctor says it can’t be helped, then I’ll search the entire Empire for another doctor who can treat you. You just need to listen to good things and rest well. I’ll take care of everything else.”

If she had been satisfied with the role of a doll cared for by his hands, she wouldn’t have attempted s*icide. So, as she looked up at him, who refused to leave her side, Estelle couldn’t say anything. What could she possibly say?

She kept her mouth shut, and only after several minutes did she finally speak.

“No, don’t do that.”

Raphael’s eyes wavered. Since she regained consciousness, Raphael hadn’t left the bedroom and even slept on the sofa. It was hard to believe he was the same proud man as before.

Sometimes, his blind devotion made Estelle feel a different kind of fear. After all, Raphael would have to let her go eventually…. Even if it was just her own thoughts, the ending was already decided.

The doctor’s diagnosis was probably correct. The one who couldn’t walk was herself. More than anyone, she had to feel it in her bones.

If that was the case….

Her next words followed immediately.

“If outsiders keep coming and going, people will start to wonder what’s going on. I ate neurotoxin, but the circumstances haven’t been explained…. If you never leave my side, what will the doctors who come think? It’s obvious. Rumors circulating within the family will spread outside, Brother.”

“Don’t call me ‘Brother’.”

She spoke only the important points, but Raphael responded with something unrelated. His face looked rather forlorn as he told her not to call him ‘brother’. He wanted to be her husband, not her sibling, and his eyes showed it clearly.

Expressing it so openly, Estelle was left speechless.

Now, he simply seemed like someone who had chosen to be foolish. Raphael added,

“Besides, it’s not a lie. Whether people suspect it or not, it’s the truth.”

Before swallowing the hard candy, she had confessed to Raphael. That confession, although now suffocating her, at least confirmed their feelings were the same.

That was all that mattered to Raphael. Until she responded….

“Even if it’s true, it doesn’t change the situation.”

“Estelle, please.”

Even though Estelle hadn’t said much, Raphael became pitifully humble all at once. Did he realize how pathetic he looked, as if he would beg on his knees and hands at any moment?

Estelle’s heart softened a little, but she knew that giving in now would be extremely foolish. She didn’t want to push herself into self-loathing and ruin. So….

“Even if I get treatment in time, I can’t fully recover. On the other hand, if I don’t get treated and become lame, Father will see me as useless. Who knows what he’ll do.”

“Then we’ll just kill him!”

Without any plan, Raphael pushed for the idea that simply killing would solve everything. Since Estelle had taken poison, he had lost all rational thought, and his voice rose sharply.

Estelle flinched but spoke without losing her composure.

“So you’ll kill others just like you killed the servants? You have no reason to kill Father, but you’re going to solve everything that way?”

If a son killed his father, even a great noble could be sentenced to death. It wouldn’t stop there—since it was treason, Raphael would lose his status as the Young Duke.

Estelle knew he couldn’t change, but his stubbornness was relentless. At this point, it was obsession, not persistence.

She realized this anew and couldn’t hesitate any longer. Raphael kept his mouth shut at her question. If he could really stay by Estelle’s side, he was someone who could do crazy things dozens of times, which only made her anxious.

With no answer, she moved on to her next words.

“Let me go before Father finds out about my condition.”

Raphael’s expression twisted sharply for a moment. He clenched his teeth as if he had finally heard words he never wanted to hear. The pain on his face startled Estelle, but she didn’t stop.

“The longer you drag this out, the worse it gets. There are servants who escaped from here because I asked them to let me go. They already know everything, so if they want, rumors will spread instantly.”

“‥‥‥.”

“If the daughter invested in a political marriage can’t be used as a stepping stone for connections with other families, my fate is already decided. Surviving after taking neurotoxin is a miracle, so honestly, you could just say I died.”

“You want me to say you died?”

His voice cracked as if his throat were being strangled, and he rubbed his face with both hands. He couldn’t bring himself to show Estelle his despair, so he didn’t lower his hands.

Estelle, determined, nodded.

Raphael murmured, burying his face in his palms.

“You might as well kill me. That’s what you’re saying—you’re leaving.”

It meant she wouldn’t stay here, but would quietly escape and live alone. In other words, she would abandon everything she had lived as a noble lady and disappear, which was what Raphael feared most.

He could do anything else for her, but that was the one thing he never wanted. Her words made Raphael realize that their separation was approaching. Even though he had already foreseen this reality, he wanted to deny it until the end, feeling his heart tighten. Because that meant letting Estelle go.

She couldn’t look Raphael straight in the face and replied.

“That’s right.”

It was cruel. He lowered his hands and met Estelle’s eyes.

Raphael, who always stood tall as a ruler, was shattered by just one sentence….

Even though Estelle exchanged glances with him, she deliberately avoided his gaze.

The wound on Raphael’s forehead, torn open by the ashtray Duke Pellia had thrown, no longer bled, but the scar remained.

When Estelle turned away, Raphael, overwhelmed by a maddening anxiety, dropped to his knees—already weakened, he collapsed completely. If she commanded him, he would crawl on all fours like a beast. He had thrown everything away, and he spoke.

“So that’s still not enough? Even after making things like this, I shamelessly keep showing my face and trying to stay by your side. Is that why you’re punishing me? Because you can’t bear it otherwise? Then torment me some other way instead. What should I do? Should I cut off one of my limbs? Or demand something miserable from me. If you tell me to roll on the ground, I will. If you tell me to lie flat, I’ll do it. Please, Estelle. Please don’t leave me.”

If he was going to regret it this much, he shouldn’t have acted that way from the start…. If he was going to sell his pride just to cling to her, he should have treated her well from the beginning….

Estelle’s mind wandered at his words. But even if she miraculously recovered, her relationship with Raphael could never return to what it was, and if she became lame, she would have to live a humiliating life unless she left her family.

She had neither the strength nor the confidence to endure that every time. Ignoring Raphael’s pitiful clinging, Estelle opened her eyes wide.

Her sharpened voice shot out.

“Whether you cut off a limb or not, it won’t change my position. Raphael, you asked what you should do? I already answered. Tell Father that I died. I’m going to leave the Empire and live abroad. Although my escape failed, I had other plans. Some were prepared, and I even saved up the funds needed for my flight. As long as you let me go, I’ll be able to live well outside. I can do it right now.”

Her body was impaired and she couldn’t walk alone, but as long as Raphael helped her to the Empire’s border, she could handle the rest herself. There wouldn’t be many people abroad who knew her, so she could live freely….

Estelle still didn’t meet his eyes, staring only at his lips. He didn’t reply.

But remaining silent wouldn’t solve anything….