Chapter 27

He parted his lips.

“Not only can you touch it, you can have it.”

Since he had already decided to dispose of the horse, he wanted it to be useful to someone who wanted it. Maybe it was just his own selfishness, but the impulse to give was unstoppable.

The child’s eyes widened at Raphael’s sudden gift, then quickly became flustered. The child wanted the horse, but his gaze showed he couldn’t just accept something from a stranger. After a moment, he shook his head.

“I can’t keep it at home. If I take it, Mother will scold me.”

The sulking child pouted his lips. Raphael looked down at the child, and vaguely realized why he felt that sense of familiarity earlier. The chilly blue eyes were similar to his own, but as the child argued, he reminded Raphael of Estelle.

Had Raphael missed Estelle so much that he projected her onto this unknown child? No matter how closely he examined the child’s face, the atmosphere and features were exactly the same.

His eyes wavered uncontrollably.

“Kai!”

A woman called out from afar, walking toward the child. She leaned on a cane, and each step made the sand sink beneath her.

Raphael stared directly at the woman’s hair and face, caught by the sea breeze.

The child flinched at the woman’s voice and distanced himself from Raphael. Then he turned around….

“Mother!”

Kai dashed into his mother’s arms. The woman bent down and stroked the top of his head. Squinting against the sunlight rising above the horizon, she smiled.

Blinded by the brightness, Estelle couldn’t see the stranger’s face opposite her as she pulled Kai close and pinched his cheek.

Kai cried out, “Ah!” in pain. When she released his cheek, he protested in a grumpy voice.

“That hurts! Why did you do that?”

“Who told you to leave without a word? Didn’t I say we’d go for a walk after lunch, late in the afternoon? Playing in the sea is only for the morning. Were you planning to cause trouble wandering around alone?”

“That’s not it. I just wanted to play!”

Even at his mother’s reasonable scolding, the child raised his voice, unable to understand. Estelle fixed her fierce gaze on Kai’s face, and he fell silent, startled.

Realizing his mistake, Kai apologized, shrinking back.

She warned her mischievous son not to leave without a word, then lifted her head.

She still couldn’t open her eyes fully under the blazing sunlight, but when she shaded them with her hand, she could see the stranger’s face.

On the wide coastline, a man with golden hair and blue eyes, as if forged from melted gold, was staring at her. When Estelle met his gaze, she froze instantly.

Raphael, whom she hadn’t seen once in the five years since, was standing right before her. She nearly dropped the cane in her hand, but Kai caught it for her.

Raphael, with his eyes suddenly reddened, turned his gaze to the child as tears welled up.

Kai looked quite startled by Raphael’s sudden tears, wearing a dazed expression.

Estelle had thought hundreds of times over the past five years about how she should handle such a situation if it ever happened.

Even so, Estelle, frozen like a fool, only realized today.

‘I really couldn’t forget this man, and I missed him more than I thought.’

Since he was Kai’s father, erasing him from her memory was forever impossible. Even if she hadn’t carried his child in her womb, Estelle knew she would still recall him as if it were a deeply ingrained habit.

But the longing she had buried in her heart began to bloom the moment she faced his face. Like a flower bud that had never opened, it started breathing again.

He was someone she once loved so much that she could give him everything. Yet, she had pushed him away, resenting his twisted obsession.

Even so, the longing lingered and turned to affection, constantly circling in her mind.

She could never truly hate him, and from the day he left, he had given her a gift as precious as a jewel.

Estelle stood there, unable to speak, while Raphael shed tears, and she was the first to open her mouth.

“Have you been well?”

Five years ago and now, his handsome features hadn’t changed, but his skin seemed even paler, and he looked much thinner. Though the answer was obvious, Estelle asked, wanting to confirm he was really in front of her.

Raphael, overwhelmed by longing for Estelle, wondered if this was a hallucination, even though he wasn’t an addict. But as soon as he heard her voice, he realized it was real.

He didn’t even think to wipe his tears as he nodded.

Soon, Estelle’s cane came into view, and the flustered child became clear in his vision.

Raphael finally understood why he wanted to do anything for the unfamiliar child.

She had carried his seed before leaving the Empire. That seed had sprouted in her womb and grown into a new life, coming into the world without him at her side. He couldn’t stop his tears.

Kai, seeing Raphael’s expression, tugged at his mother’s sleeve and pleaded to leave.

Just ten minutes ago, he’d been eager to touch the horse, but seeing Raphael cry like a madman frightened him.

Raphael tried to calm himself, but it didn’t work, so he deliberately avoided looking at the child. He couldn’t leave a terrible first impression.

And so—

“Estelle, how have you been?”

Judging by the cane, it seemed she had a limp from the aftereffects of nerve poison. To have raised a child alone and given birth in a strange place with that body—Raphael’s heart felt like it was being torn apart.

If she said she hadn’t been well, he felt he might stab his own heart out of grief. He feared the pain Estelle suffered because of him still lingered.

But—

“I’ve been well.”

“‥‥‥.”

“I’ve been happy.”

Estelle lowered the hand shading her brow and smiled as if swallowing her tears. Raphael’s throat tightened at her smile.

It felt like a white lie. Even now, Estelle, always kind, was telling a gentle lie for the sake of such a miserable man….

But Raphael, who had no choice but to believe her, pressed his trembling lips together and asked.

He had lived a life worse than death, but hearing her say she was happy here brought him immense comfort. He felt relieved that he would never again see her wounded by his foolishness.

Seeing Estelle claim for herself the happiness he could not give her, Raphael let go of the reins he had been holding.

As soon as control was released, the horse bolted off into the distance. Kai jumped at the sight of the disappearing horse, but Raphael had other priorities.

Raphael approached Estelle and embraced her blindly. She did not reject him, accepting him completely.

Kai bristled at the man who suddenly hugged his mother, but seeing the man’s falling tears, he could only watch in silence.

It looked desperate.

It looked heartbreaking.

Even the mother, who was usually extremely wary of strangers, offered no resistance and accepted the man’s embrace. Kai, unable to take his eyes off the man’s messy face, even felt a strange sense of familiarity.

He couldn’t understand why, especially since it was their first meeting.

And later, watching his mother pat the crying man’s back and invite him home, Kai would come to understand.

Kai grew up without a father. Since that was decided from birth, he never really felt the absence of a father.

But it was around the age of six that Kai realized Raphael was his father. After meeting at the coast, Raphael visited every spring and summer, and that year, he arrived one late spring evening. That night, Raphael took Estelle outside alone.

Under the faint moonlight, Kai secretly followed and witnessed his mother and the man walking along the coast, then sharing a kiss. It was a sight that might shock a young child, but Kai accepted it naturally.

He thought, ‘So he really is my father….’

Each time Raphael visited, he brought an armful of gifts that left Kai speechless, and sometimes showed such affectionate care that it was impossible not to recognize him.

So, when the child saw the two of them kissing, there was more anticipation than disappointment in his eyes. He wondered if the day would come when he could always be with his father.

Looking up at the densely packed stars in the dark sky, the child quietly left the coast.

Even after Kai disappeared, Estelle and Raphael continued to embrace each other for a long time, leaning into each other’s arms.