She was the only one who had built up internal intimacy on her own. From his perspective, she was nothing more or less than a nuisance. And hadn’t this been right after a battle? She’d gotten worked up all by herself.

‘No wonder the maids behind me are staring with bewildered expressions.’

Fel found Rosana’s dazed expression puzzling, but Jade came first. And Jade could no longer hold onto his reason. Once the simple treatment was finished, Jade urged Fel on.

“Kugh, quickly… to my room…”

“Yes.”

Rosana had gone to all the trouble of coming out to greet Jade, but she could only stare helplessly at his retreating back.

“Lady Rosana?”

“…Let’s go back. I don’t feel well.”

Rosana felt dizzy from the vibrating smell of blood, just like that time. Emma hurriedly pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the blood from Rosana’s hands.

And the servants heard her words. They’d been on the verge of developing some favorable feelings, wondering if she might be interested in him—her future husband—based on how she’d acted toward Jade. 

But the moment Jade turned away, seeing Rosana’s expression turn pale as she said she didn’t feel well, they changed their minds.

“Her attitude changed completely… Was it just for show?”

“Exactly. I thought she was worried about His Majesty. People don’t change easily.”

“Stop chattering and move quickly.”

Rosana recalled the warmth she’d just touched. She was scared of losing it again. Alone.

‘Running over the moment I heard he was injured… That wasn’t like me.’

Returning to her room, Rosana dismissed everyone and lay down on the bed. The maids, seeing Rosana’s dark expression, quietly withdrew.

Only Rosana remained in the spacious room. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shake off the scene she’d just witnessed. And while struggling to erase it, she fell asleep.

But once surfaced, the memories wouldn’t let Rosana go. Memories she’d buried deep in her heart came flooding back, one after another.

Fragments of the distant past.

Rosana hated blood. She hated beatings. She hated words and actions that hurt others. But the Duchess had forced it upon Rosana.

Once, when she’d screamed in resistance to the Duchess’s behavior, there had been one person who could be called Rosana’s ally. Mari, a maid who had been by Rosana’s side since childhood, like Emma. Mari was the only person who truly saw Rosana.

“The Madam is being strange… You don’t even like roses, Miss. You actually dislike them because the overpowering fragrance gives you headaches.”

“Miss, I know. There’s no way you’d hate Miss Amy. You two were so close.”

An existence who comforted the dejected Rosana. She was like a savior. Mari was the reason she could endure her childhood. Having even one person who truly saw her properly was incredibly empowering.

But then an incident occurred that shook her entire life.

At that time, Rosana was full of complaints. Mari understood her, but Emma and the others didn’t, which made her furious. She hated how they wouldn’t listen when she said no, forcing upon her the Rosana they knew.

Emma especially kept following her around constantly saying “the Madam, the Madam…” That sound was insufferable. And Rosana as a person was thoroughly excluded from it all.

Overwhelmed by the injustice, Rosana lashed out, shouting “Stop it!” and shoving Emma. 

Emma fell and a porcelain piece shattered. The porcelain broke with a crash and Emma got a scratch on her face as she fell. But that porcelain happened to be an important item.

“Gasp!!”

“Wh-what do we do…?”

Emma jumped up in shock. And cunningly, Emma saw through Rosana’s anxious heart.

“Miss, how could you break the porcelain? It was supposed to be sent to the Imperial Family… If they find out you broke the porcelain, it’ll be a huge incident! The Madam will… people will condemn you!”

Emma cried out in an exaggerated voice. She stamped her feet, seemingly at a loss. Emma had decided it was Rosana who broke the porcelain. Rosana stared helplessly at the broken porcelain, trembling. Then Emma grabbed the frozen Rosana’s hand and said:

“Don’t worry. Fortunately, I’m here. I’ll take care of everything.”

Emma, who had been making such a fuss, calmly soothed Rosana. Rosana clutched her pounding heart and ended up nodding at Emma’s words.

‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

Even with regret, past moments couldn’t be reversed. Naturally, when the item meant for the Imperial Family was discovered broken, the household was turned upside down.

She didn’t know what Emma told her mother. But it passed quietly. Rosana, who’d been agonizing over possibly being caught, breathed a sigh of relief. But that wasn’t the end.

“The Madam is calling for you.”

One day, Emma suddenly brought Rosana to a small room. Inside, the woman praised as the kind Duchess was holding a whip—something that didn’t suit her. The whip had red bloodstains on it, and beside her, Mari lay collapsed in a wretched state.

Mari had been identified as the one who broke the porcelain and injured Emma’s cheek.

“Emma…?”

Mari, whom she’d been worried about not seeing, appeared covered in blood. Rosana turned her head to look at Emma, not understanding. Emma smiled sweetly. At that chilling smile, the color drained from Rosana’s face.

Mari looked at Rosana with eyes seeking salvation. The air, sticky with the smell of blood, pressed down on Rosana’s shoulders. Then the Duchess, with a composed attitude, walked out of the room.

Mari’s back, visible beyond the threshold, was a mess from the whip the Duchess had wielded indiscriminately. The torn fabric was stained with blood.

“Rosana, tell me. This girl broke the precious porcelain, didn’t she? I heard it from Emma. But she’s keeping her mouth completely shut… What a wicked maid. It’s my great fault for assigning such a maid to you.”

“M-Miss… please tell the Madam. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t…”

Mari pleaded in a desperate voice. She must have been hit in the eye too—half her face was swollen. With her barely-open eye, she looked only at Rosana earnestly. Her voice trembled mercilessly.

Rosana knew best that it wasn’t Mari’s doing. But her mouth wouldn’t open.

Dumbfounded, she stared blankly at the scene inside the room. Emma gripped Rosana’s shoulder firmly so she couldn’t look away. The Duchess approached with light steps and whispered softly in Rosana’s ear.

“That maid keeps denying it was her. Rosana, you’re a good girl, so tell me. It wasn’t that girl? Then who could it be? It was an item to be presented to His Majesty… If His Majesty finds out, he’ll never forgive this.”

The Duchess was bringing tears to her eyes. She swayed her body, seemingly dizzy just from imagining it. Emma quickly released Rosana’s shoulder and supported the Duchess.

“Madam!”

Still, for Mari’s sake, Rosana struggled to open her mouth. She was a precious person. In a world full of enemies, only Mari had seen Rosana.

“M-Mother… actually…”

“Rosana, I know. That it wasn’t your doing.”

The Duchess cut off Rosana’s words with a definitive tone. Rosana looked up at the Duchess with trembling eyes.

“Rosana isn’t a child who would lie. But that maid says it wasn’t her doing… so who could it be? If she’d revealed it earlier, this tragic thing wouldn’t have happened. That maid—whoever the child is—didn’t reveal the truth, causing unnecessary bloodshed. Everyone will point fingers. Calling her a bad child.”

The child who broke the porcelain is truly a bad child. Unlike Rosana. The Duchess whispered to Rosana.

“The Madam is right. A complete criminal. That porcelain was such an important item.”

At the word “criminal,” Rosana’s mouth wouldn’t open, seemingly coated with honey. She’d touched an item meant for the Emperor, so calling her a criminal wasn’t wrong either.

The Duchess and Emma were in perfect sync. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes.” 

They seemed more like mother and daughter than anyone.

The bleak atmosphere was enough to seal Rosana’s mouth.

Rosana didn’t want to hear people’s murmuring. She couldn’t bear the situation of dark shadows surrounding her, pointing fingers.

‘The wicked and evil Lady Arcadi after all. To lay hands on an Imperial item… The Duchess is so kind, how could such a child be born?’

‘She caused an accident and acts calm? I’m embarrassed for her.’

‘She’s completely different from the Duchess and Lady Amy Arcadi.’

Terrible shadows whispered in Rosana’s ears. Rosana clutched both ears mercilessly. She didn’t want to be branded a bad child, a criminal. Because of that one wish, she refused to speak. The Duchess’s following words were enough to shake Rosana’s reason.

“Rosana is a good child, right?”

No other thoughts came. Only the wish not to be criticized by others anymore. She hated being the only one ignored in a family of three.

She hated being left out like an ugly duckling. It didn’t matter that the person she was responding to was the Duchess, the very person distorting the truth. 

She wanted to say the events unfolding before her eyes had nothing to do with her. She wanted to reclaim the warmth that had always stroked her head with affectionate touches.

So she nodded without hesitation at her words. She ignored Mari’s desperately watching eyes. 

Fear consumed Rosana and her vision blurred hazily. The Duchess stroked Rosana’s head, saying she did well. Then she casually handed her the whip she’d been holding.

“Then take this. For a servant to disgrace her master, isn’t her pretense of innocence detestable?”

Mari’s eyes changed from disappointment to despair. Rosana froze, unable to do this or that, holding the whip. And when another maid who witnessed the scene screamed, her mind snapped alert. But Rosana had already become the one who punished and drove Mari away.

Rosana hadn’t done the punishing, but in the end, she was the one who drove her away.

In the end, Mari was injured on her back, and naturally, having broken an item meant for the Imperial Family, there was no way she could continue working as a maid in the ducal household. 

Without receiving treatment or a letter of recommendation, her opportunity to work as a maid in another noble household disappeared forever.

“M-Mari…”

“…Miss. I was naive. I should have listened to Emma. You are…”

Mari’s gaze, glaring while biting her lips hard, stabbed a dagger into Rosana’s chest. Rosana slowly lowered her head. It was obvious without seeing that Emma had told Mari the truth.

It was natural that Mari left hating me. I was the source of her losing both her scars and her job. 

After Mari left, Rosana didn’t leave her bed, cutting herself off from the world. She needed time to heal her emotional wounds. But before healing, all sorts of rumors descended upon her. And in the ducal household where she no longer had anyone on her side, she gradually withered.

She couldn’t even resent anyone. It was Rosana herself who had let go of her hand. She wore a mask saying she was fine, but inside she rotted and festered. 

Because there was no longer anyone who believed in her. Because she’d let go herself. She thought it was her fate. Now that she thinks about it, she seems to have thought it was her sin.

Rosana blinked slowly. Mari’s afterimage disappeared far away. With a dazed mind, Rosana murmured softly.

“All sorts of thoughts come to mind.”

She smiled self-deprecatingly. Then she buried her face in her palms. That’s why. Even if they misunderstood or were mistaken, she left it alone. Because I gave up. Because everyone left in the end.

“Was it from that time…?”

An incident carved in her very early childhood was still affecting her now. It’s strange since coming here. Is it because she left the ducal household? 

Mari, whom she’d never once recalled, keeps coming to mind…

Not like me.

No… what was “like me” anyway?

Rosana reached out her hand. In the pitch-black darkness, her hand cut through the air. Thinking it pointless, Rosana slowly raised herself from the bed.

And she saw her changed outfit. Someone must have come in—above Rosana, who’d fallen asleep without even covering herself with a blanket, a blanket was now spread, and her dress had been changed to a simpler one.

She closed her eyes while sitting blankly. Having had a nightmare, Rosana didn’t want to sleep anymore. In case she saw that resentful figure again. She was avoiding it. 

She needed… a little time to sort out her thoughts. She turned her gaze. Outside the window, darkness lay thick.

“In the dream I was sad, but…”

Rosana looked at her face reflected in the window. Her expression was unchanged. Still expressionless. Whether suffering or sad, she always tried to remain expressionless. 

Because the people around her misunderstood. But today, her expressionless face made her sadder.