Chapter 27
“…What do you mean?”
A calm face and polite gaze. Lorraine had never let her emotions show since she was young. To anyone, she was a flawless noble lady. But Catherine knew how much that annoying attitude could render others helpless.
“You always draw lines with everyone and act as if you’re the only one who’s right. Do you know how annoying that is?”
Those words had been piling up inside Catherine for a long time. She’d never been embarrassed to show her feelings. She said she liked what she liked and reached for what she wanted.
And Lorraine always hid in her elegant shell, handing everything to Catherine as if she was doing her a favor. Catherine slowly put down her teacup and smiled.
“Lorraine, if you hadn’t been so ambiguous, I wouldn’t have bothered with him.”
Lorraine was speechless.
“At least I’m honest about my feelings. If you really liked Viscount Lindsay, if you thought of him as your man…”
Catherine leaned forward and lowered her voice.
“You shouldn’t have just acted indifferent and stayed quiet. If you’d glared at me or even yelled like this, I might have stopped playing these games a long time ago.”
Catherine’s smile was more cynical than ever.
“But you were always ambiguous. You never said you were lovers, never showed jealousy. You just stood beside him as if you didn’t feel anything like that.”
Lorraine couldn’t say anything, taking a deep breath. Catherine’s words brought up all the feelings she’d ignored. Catherine leaned toward Lorraine and whispered low.
“If you truly hated seeing your man go to another woman, you should have said so, Lorraine.”
Catherine twisted her lips as she spoke. Her tone was quiet, but her words were sharp and fierce.
“With that pretty face, always standing back as if you didn’t care, just watching from afar—and now you make that aggrieved face, saying ‘Actually, I didn’t want to lose him’.”
Lorraine felt her breath catch. Catherine looked at her as she took another sip of tea.
“Don’t act regretful or aggrieved later. If you don’t want to lose something, say so then.”
Catherine knew her words had crossed a line. But she didn’t want to stop. This was a fight against her lifelong inferiority and loneliness, and her long-held wish to be recognized by Lorraine as someone who mattered.
“I was just honest about my feelings. I don’t quietly smile and pretend to hold everything in like you.”
Catherine quietly took a sip of tea. Her attitude was still relaxed, but there was a venom in her words she couldn’t hide.
“You’ve always been quiet. But honestly, if you really want something, you have to say it. Otherwise, people like me will always take it. Jealousy and love mean nothing if you don’t say them out loud.”
Lorraine pressed her lips together. Her heart felt slowly squeezed. Catherine added one last thing.
“Fight like this. If you don’t want to lose something, say so. Or just step back quietly like you always do. Acting aggrieved without saying anything doesn’t make you a victim.”
With those words, Lorraine suddenly recalled all the moments she hadn’t been able to express her feelings, all the days and nights she’d never said ‘I like you’—and felt her breath catch.
A brief silence passed between them. Lorraine, as if at a loss for words, quietly looked at Catherine and took a deep breath. Everything she’d held back was rising to the surface. Breaking the silence was Lorraine’s resolute voice.
“Lady Catherine, it’s late, but I’ll say what I want now.”
Lorraine stood up, quietly exhaling. She gathered her wavering gaze and slowly looked Catherine in the eye. And for the first time, she spoke with sincerity.
“I absolutely do not want to share Ian with anyone.”
Catherine’s eyes flickered for a moment. Lorraine looked at her with steady eyes. Catherine was speechless for a moment. There was no blame or hatred in Lorraine’s words. Instead, they carried the real feelings Catherine had always wanted from her.
Lorraine was human too. She had things she didn’t want to lose. When something was important, when something was precious, she acted like this. Catherine was satisfied.
“Still, I didn’t expect you to come all the way here. You, Lorraine Summers, who always seemed uninterested in everything.”
Catherine smiled quietly. Memories of all the things she’d done to provoke a reaction from Lorraine, who always seemed indifferent, flashed through Catherine’s mind.
“Yes. Now you finally seem a little more human.”
Catherine added with a mischievous smile. She felt that her childhood obsession with Lorraine had truly ended.
“Thank you for answering my question, Lady Catherine. Then, I’ll be going now.”
Having heard Catherine’s answer, Lorraine slowly rose from her seat. There was no reason for them to sit and chat any longer. Her purpose was to confirm the rumors about Ian, and now there was nothing more to discuss.
“Yes, come visit again.”
Though it seemed unlikely Lorraine would come again, Catherine smiled easily.
“Or maybe I’ll visit you.”
* * *
The midday sunlight softly poured over the garden. The scent of late spring drifted on the breeze through the rose vines climbing the walls.
Lorraine’s carriage stopped in front of Viscount Lindsay’s villa. The scenery was familiar. The windows sparkled in the sunlight, and the garden was neatly kept. Everything was still in its place, but there was a strange sense of emptiness.
When the door to the mansion opened, the elderly steward greeted her warmly.
“Lady Lorraine, you’re here.”
His smile was unchanged.
“May I see Viscount Lindsay?”
Lorraine asked cautiously, and the steward looked startled as he replied.
“Oh… didn’t you know? The Viscount left for the capital a few days ago.”
“…He left?”
Lorraine froze. She had just realized her feelings, but he was gone without a word.
‘Was it because of me?’
Only now could she imagine how deeply her rejection must have hurt him. She pictured his back as he walked away that day, saying nothing. Her own indifference, unable to call out to him, now weighed heavily on her heart.
Would he come back? Would he never return? Her heart ached. Even if he did come back, Lorraine doubted Ian would give her a second chance.
“When will he return?”
Lorraine’s voice was small and cautious.
“I’m sorry, but… we don’t know.”
“…I see.”
Lorraine slowly nodded. Ian seemed to have gone too far away. An unreachable distance, or perhaps an unreachable heart. Lorraine was tormented by the fact that she had missed her chance.
At that moment, the steward carefully spoke up.
“But this is the first time the Viscount has stayed at this villa for so long.”
“Didn’t he… usually stay long?”
Lorraine asked absentmindedly, and the answer she received was unexpected.
“At most, he’d stay a few days. But this time… he was here for a very long time. In my humble opinion, it was thanks to you, My Lady. The Viscount hasn’t stayed at the villa this long since he was a child. All of us servants enjoyed it.”
The steward spoke with a gentle smile. It was not flattery, but rather a warm recollection that calmly conveyed how special Ian’s time here had been.
“Ever since the Viscount came to Mostar, he’s always been waiting for his appointments with you, Lady Lorraine. He always puts you ahead of all other plans.”
Those words made Lorraine blink. Each small phrase struck her heart and made it race. Perhaps the steward was exaggerating. But if it was true, how deeply would her words have pierced Ian, who had spent such time waiting for her?
Lorraine slowly clenched her hand. Now, she felt she understood why he had suddenly left for the capital. To her cold words that responded to his heavy, cautious confession, she had driven a blade. Unable to endure the feelings he left behind, he had departed. Lorraine’s throat tightened.
Then, from beyond the mansion’s main gate, a man’s voice approached.
“Well, look who it is.”
It was a familiar baritone. Turning her head, Lorraine saw a gentleman in neat attire walking in.
“It’s been a while, Lady Summers.”
“It’s been a while, Earl Bedington.”
Lorraine greeted him politely, though she could feel her voice trembling slightly. Earl Bedington had been a figure in the social circle, close to Lorraine’s parents since childhood. She’d rarely spoken to him alone—always just exchanged greetings at balls and gatherings. To Lorraine, Earl Bedington was still a somewhat distant figure.
Moreover, he was Ian Lindsay’s friend. Lorraine didn’t know how much he knew about her relationship with Ian. Did he know Ian once confessed his love for her? Or perhaps even that she had coldly rejected that confession?
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Catherine hayatımda gördüğüm en boş karakterlerden birisiydi. Her hareketinde niye ya diye sorguluyorum. (Bu kadar gömdüm ya karakteri , yarın kesin o olarak uyanacağım hahahaha)