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- Side Story 4 - Because I’m Actually Not Okay (3)
Ariel stared silently at the key. For a moment, her mind went completely blank.
The face of someone she had barely managed to suppress flooded her thoughts.
Unable to take her eyes off the key, Ariel slowly moved her lips.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“His Majesty has decided to entrust the key to you now, my lady.”
The chief attendant replied.
“To me?”
Ariel looked at him with wide, startled eyes. The chief attendant bowed his head without hesitation.
“Yes, His Majesty said the reason is written in the letter placed beneath the key.”
Ariel glanced down at the key once more. Beneath it, she noticed something she hadn’t seen earlier: a neatly folded piece of fine parchment.
“But no matter the reason, I can’t possibly accept this.”
Before she could finish, the chief attendant closed the lid and forced the box into her hands.
“Then, I shall take my leave, my lady.”
Without giving Ariel a chance to stop him, the chief attendant swiftly left the garden.
It was clear there had been one more order from the Emperor.
He must have ordered the attendant to hand over the key and leave immediately before she could regain her composure and refuse him outright.
“Why is he doing this all of a sudden?”
First, he had asked her if she was truly happy. Then he said that he wanted to see her married before he stepped down from the throne. Now, finally, he has given her the key to Kylance.
He had never said or done anything like this in the past six years.
Could it be… that the marriage he wishes to see before his abdication—
Is mine and Kylance’s?
Was this his roundabout way of saying that he was finally ready to let go of the nephew he had cherished like a son?
Ariel’s green eyes darkened slightly.
No, he was far too sincere for that.
She recalled the words the Emperor had spoken just moments ago.
Especially when he mentioned the Duke of Lienol’s second son — his gaze hadn’t wavered in the slightest.
The Emperor truly believed that man would make a good husband for her.
If he had hidden motives, she would have sensed them long ago. After all, being one of the Emperor’s closest aides wasn’t a title given in vain.
Letting out a soft breath, Ariel opened the box once more and carefully pulled the folded parchment out from beneath the key.
As she unfolded it, the Emperor’s handwriting came into view.
***
[Marquise, I realise this must be confusing for you, and I hope you won’t resent me too much. It would be a lie to say that I don’t have other intentions, but they all stem from my desire to see you happy. Giving you this key does not mean that I am asking you to forgive Kylance. From the outset, you were the only person with the right to judge him. I am simply returning it to its rightful owner.]
[When you are ready to forgive Kylance, use this key to release his restraints. If you ever feel that this key is preventing you from being happy, you can bury it deep in the ground or throw it into the sea. The past tragedy was beyond your control, so I want you to put an end to it. Only then will you have no lingering regrets. Be happy, Ariel Blante.]
At the end of the letter was her name.
It was not addressed to the Marquise Blante, but to her.
What would he do if she threw the key into the vast ocean?
There was only one key capable of unlocking those restraints — this very one.
For a brief moment, Ariel felt a twisted bitterness rise within her, resenting the Emperor for forcing her to confront the remnants of the past she had tried so hard to ignore.
But soon after, she quietly folded the parchment and closed the box once more.
Time is a strange thing.
After spending nearly six years together, even a grudging affection seems to have taken root.
Ariel finally left the garden, her face bearing a complicated expression. She took the box with her instead of throwing it away.
Upon returning to the Marquisate, she finished her work and ate dinner alone in her study.
She had used the excuse of being busy to avoid having dinner with her aunt and brother, Zed.
Of course, they probably wouldn’t believe her. She had never skipped dinner with them before, no matter how busy she had been.
However, given today’s incident involving His Majesty’s abdication, they might partially believe her.
After finishing her simple dinner, Ariel went to visit her father. She sat down on the blanket that the maid had laid out for her.
“The night breeze is chilly, my lady,”
The maid said, draping a large shawl over Ariel’s shoulders.
“Thank you. I plan to stay a while, so you can leave the lamp on and then head back.”
Once the maid left, silence settled over the mausoleum.
The cool breeze gently stirred Ariel’s hair.
Facing the tombstone engraved with her father’s name, Ariel opened her mouth to speak.
“Father, I’m here.”
Her usual greeting.
“Today, His Majesty announced his intention to abdicate the throne in favour of the Crown Prince. This sudden announcement caused an uproar among the nobles as soon as the Empire had stabilised.”
She recounted what had happened that day.
“If you were still here, you would probably have opposed His Majesty’s abdication. No matter how excellent the Crown Prince may be, a sudden abdication could still shake the Empire’s stability.”
There would inevitably be some degree of unrest.
Even though the Emperor had been preparing for this transition for years, the Crown Prince and the Emperor were two different people.
The Crown Prince… grew up rather sheltered, Ariel thought to herself. He’s more of a civil official than a military one, I suppose.
As she pictured the Crown Prince’s softer, more refined features compared to the Emperor, she continued speaking.
“As a subject of the Empire, I naturally had my concerns, but I didn’t oppose it. It’s not that I fully believe the Crown Prince will succeed without fail. It’s just that His Majesty looked tired when he spoke of abdication.”
She carefully softened her words.
Even though no one was watching her, she always felt as if her father was listening whenever she was here.
And she truly meant it.
She hadn’t voiced a single objection to the Emperor’s declaration because the signs of time etched into his face had been plain to see while they were sitting opposite each other.
Those marks didn’t speak of happiness.
As the Emperor himself had said, she wanted him to finally rest.
Of course, now—
‘Maybe I should have been more reluctant to let him go.’
A small regret crept in.
This was because of the key box that the Emperor had handed to her.
In her hands was a box containing a key and a sealed letter stamped with the insignia of House Lienol.
Kylence and the duke’s second son.
Both of them.
Since returning from the Imperial Palace, though her body had busied itself with work, her mind had been in complete disarray.
Six years ago, on the day he left, she stood here telling herself that she was fine—
That she would be fine. She tightly sealed away the memories of the past.
But now, it had all unraveled.
All because of this small, unexpected key.
“Forgiveness…”
Ariel whispered the heavy word.
The Emperor had said that when she could forgive, she should release his restraints.
But in truth, Ariel—
She had already forgiven him.
She couldn’t even pinpoint exactly when it happened.
At some point, her resentment had quietly been replaced by concern.
Was it when she found out that the Duchess of Viasteus was responsible for the death of the former Grand Duke?
She knew just how painful that truth must have been for Kylance.
At least Ariel had never lived in the embrace of her enemy.
But he had.
His entire childhood, his whole life, had been stolen by his enemy.
The faint compassion that had begun to take root back then erased her hatred completely when Kylance chose to take poison and end his life alongside Melish.
As time passed, even the slightest hint of resentment disappeared. In their place, emotions that had no right to exist settled quietly.
Ariel looked down at the key, a bitter smile curling her lips.
“His Majesty said he had no other intentions, but I’m sure he noticed it. That I… still hadn’t been able to forget him. That I intended to endure it for the rest of my life. So he gave me an excuse. Since there’s only one key in existence that can release his restraints.”
The Emperor had given her a choice—
Telling herself that everything was because of the key he had given her was a way of soothing her own heart and making things easier.
But still…
“Can I really do this? We were bound by ill fate. What if that only leads to more misfortune?”
“It won’t.”
A voice that wasn’t Ariel’s interrupted her.
“You were never ill-fated to begin with.”
Rustle—
At the firm voice, Ariel turned her head towards the person who had quietly taken a seat beside her.
“Aunt…”
When had she arrived?
How long had she been listening to her?
Even among her family, she rarely spoke about the North.
Only her aunt and her brother Zed knew how she truly felt.
That was why she had worked so hard to pretend she was fine.
“Aunt, I’m all right—”
“You’re not fine. You’re not fine, Ariel.”
Her aunt said firmly, clasping her cold hand tightly. Their gazes met, and her aunt softly called her name again.
“Ariel.”
“…Yes.”
“You and Kylance were meant to be.”
It was the first time in years that her aunt had spoken his name aloud.
Looking directly into Ariel’s wavering eyes, her aunt continued, gently but resolutely.
“It was Melish, that wretched woman, who wove your so-called fate. You were both young when someone cruel crossed your path and hurt you. Think about it. If Melish had never existed, would you and Kylence have ended up like this?”
If Melish had never existed…
“No, we wouldn’t have been separated.”
She had truly loved Kylance, and he had loved her just as deeply. If Melish had never existed, perhaps they might have found each other sooner.
Her aunt smiled gently and caressed Ariel’s cheek. Only then did Ariel realise that tears were streaming down her face.
“Right now, I think your father would want to tell you this: It’s time to forgive yourself. You are my proud daughter.”
“Aunt…”
Her aunt embraced her, smiling softly. She patted her on the back, as if to say that she could cry as much as she needed to.
“Go where your heart leads you, Ariel. My son and I, and everyone in the Marquisate, want nothing more than for you to be happy. With the one you truly love.”
Burying her face in her aunt’s shoulder, Ariel wept like a child.
Finally, she allowed herself to admit it: She wasn’t okay. She never had been.
And as she cried for a long while, one thought slowly settled in her heart: The greenhouse of the Northern Fortress, which had always remained warm no matter how harsh the winter outside.
She wanted to go there.
jersheycakes
oh my tearssssss 😭😭😭
Pitidri
Os nomes mudaram…