After making sure that Kyla was safely in her room, Jayden went to the study.
The room was empty and completely dark.
He reached for a candle, but then dropped onto the sofa instead. After sitting in silence for a while, the faint moonlight filtering through the window provided enough illumination for him to make out the shapes around him.
Kyla’s disheartened expression at the mere sum of one thousand sovereigns a year would not leave his mind.
He hadn’t been able to tell her that she didn’t need to worry about money.
In truth, it was nothing.
He could easily withdraw that amount from his trust fund, and if he asked his parents, they would gladly give him several thousand more. They might even be pleased to do so.
If Kyla were to attend the Brighton Royal Academy, she would have to live in the dormitories.
That would only put more distance between them.
And that was exactly the problem.
Jayden lowered his face into his clasped hands and sighed quietly.
He had long understood the true meaning of her clear gaze and unguarded warmth towards him.
Although he had spoken boldly in front of his father, deep down, he had always known that her feelings for him were merely those of an older brother.
Nevertheless, he had believed that one day she would understand his feelings; that one day she would see him not as a brother, but as a man.
But if she went to the academy, he feared he might lose any chance of winning her heart.
And so, he said nothing.
Ultimately, all he could do was watch her retreating figure climb the stairs, her shoulders weighed down.
Although he claimed to love her, he had only driven her to despair.
This left him unable to forgive himself.
Was his love truly nothing more than selfishness?
He couldn’t bear it.
He knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.
***
As Silas left the study and headed towards his bedroom, he suddenly stopped in his tracks.
For some reason, Chatsworth felt different.
The empty lobby was unnaturally quiet.
In truth, nothing had changed.
Kyla simply wasn’t there.
He knew that she and Jayden were spending the night at Ashton’s and would be back the following day. And yet, he couldn’t understand why the place felt so empty.
Standing on the landing, Silas took out his pocket watch and checked the time.
Eleven o’clock.
By now, she was probably already in bed.
He went into his room, closed the door, and walked slowly over to the window. Drawing back the curtains, he looked out, but beyond the moonlight and the endless darkness, there was nothing.
And yet, there was only one reason he couldn’t look away.
He felt as though a carriage carrying her might arrive at any moment.
Holding on to that absurd hope, he stood by the window for a long time.
Realizing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep while thinking about a woman who would only be away for one night, Silas reluctantly admitted it to himself.
It was time to put an end to this foolish tangle of emotions.
He could not go on like this. He was afraid of what he might do the moment he lost the last shred of restraint.
The thoughts of her that had once existed only in his imagination had begun to invade his dreams. He dreamed of approaching her as she smiled at him, of his touch lingering against her warm, flushed cheeks, of burying his face in the pale curve of her neck and drawing her into a kiss.
More and more often, he found himself waking up the moment he embraced her.
What kind of disgraceful behavior was this for a man past his prime?
Realizing that he could never have her body, her heart, or even her name, he knew he could not continue spending endless nights consumed by such torment.
He remembered the moment at Ascot Racecourse when she had turned pale and struggled to breathe.
As he watched her tremble in fear and distress, the only thing he could offer was his arm.
The answer had already been decided.
There was no point in delaying it any longer.
It was time to give the Rothermere mother and daughter the answer they had been waiting for so desperately, without which they were unable to leave Chatsworth.
Silas let out a silent, bitter laugh.
Then he drew the curtains shut, blocking out even the faintest trace of moonlight.
After a long night during which more than one person lay awake, the sun rose once more in the eastern sky, as it always did.
This was the morning after the Feilding siblings had left for Ashton.
After breakfast, Silas sent word to Penelope.
Her heart pounded at the meaning behind his invitation.
He had asked her to have tea with him alone in the morning room.
It was something she had always dreamed of, and she had long believed that it would one day come to pass.
And yet, she could hardly believe it: There he was, this proud man, kneeling before her and gently holding her hand.
“Miss Rothermere, will you marry me?”
Silas’s gentle voice settled softly into the quiet of the morning room.
It didn’t matter that his gaze wasn’t filled with burning desire.
What mattered most was that those beautiful eyes were fixed on her alone.
She chose not to think about the way those same eyes had once looked at someone else.
From this moment on, he was hers.
Forever.
“Yes… I will.”
Penelope slowly nodded, holding back the smile that threatened to spill over.
“I will marry you, Your Grace. Or… should I call you Silas now?”
Silas straightened from where he had been kneeling and rose to his feet. Then, with a faint smile, he replied,
“Yes, you may. Miss Rothermere.”
“Penelope. Please call me Penelope as well.”
She looked up at him as he held her hand, his lips curving elegantly.
“Very well, Penelope.”
Silas then leaned down and gently kissed the back of her hand.
Penelope felt a faint flicker of disappointment.
At least she had expected something lighter, like a brief touch on her cheek.
She understood the desires men held for women.
She knew those desires weren’t just for the woman they loved.
She was also aware that his proposal hadn’t been born out of love.
But that didn’t matter.
Did a man as cold as him even possess something like love?
What he felt for Kyla was probably not love at all, but rather curiosity or an instinctive, fleeting desire.
That was why he had been able to let her go so easily and propose to her instead.
‘Surely… it isn’t that he finds me lacking as a woman?’
Penelope recalled the many men who had admired her beauty.
The fact that he had not even given her a simple kiss—she chose to believe it was because he was treating her with care.
Looking at Silas, she spoke.
“I was thinking of holding the wedding around May next year. What do you think?”
“Yes, that sounds good, Silas.”
May was less than a year away.
There was so much to prepare—the dress, the dowry, the banquet, the attendants, even the honeymoon.
It would be a tight schedule, but far better than delaying it.
“Silas, shall we discuss the details while taking a walk in the garden?”
“Let’s do that.”
Silas offered her his arm. As she linked hers with his and stepped out of the morning room, two figures had just entered the lobby.
“Oh my—Mr. Feilding, Miss Feilding!”
Penelope greeted them with a bright smile.
Kyla saw Silas and Penelope emerging from the morning room, arm in arm. The two of them looked like an affectionate couple.
While Jayden handed his coat to a servant, Silas and Penelope approached them.
“Silas, Miss Rothermere—you both look especially close today. Has something good happened?”
Jayden looked at them with a teasing expression.
“Ah, well…”
Penelope’s cheeks flushed slightly as she turned her gaze to Silas.
Silas, with his usual impassive expression, looked at Jayden.
“Silas, could it be…?”
“We’ve decided to marry. Around May next year.”
“My goodness! Finally… haha. Miss Rothermere, congratulations. You too, you rascal!”
Jayden laughed as he gave Silas’s shoulder a light pat.
“Congratulations, Miss Rothermere.”
Kyla, who had remained a step behind, moved forward and offered her congratulations as well.
“Thank you, Miss Feilding.”
The smile that bloomed across Penelope’s face was as radiant as the midsummer sun.
Kyla had expected this.
From the beginning, she had known it would happen someday.
And yet, her chest ached.
‘Why does it hurt? It’s not like I ever liked him.’
He had always been cold toward her.
Had she really been moved by the occasional kindness he showed, as though out of pity?
Why had his shifting moods and heated gaze unsettled her so much?
Forcing the corners of her lips upward, Kyla managed a faint smile and met his eyes.
“Congratulations, Your Grace.”
“Thank you.”
The slight tilt of his head, his expression—somehow, it felt colder than ever.
Kyla felt all the strength leave her legs, as if she might collapse where she stood.
She felt unbearably small.
‘It’s not because of him. It’s because of the one thousand sovereigns. I’m just worried I won’t be able to enter the royal academy.’
If she went to the academy, she would leave this place—and never see that man again, now that he would marry Penelope.
If only the matter of money were resolved, this miserable feeling would surely disappear.
“Teacher! Miss Kyla!”
At the bright, youthful voice calling her, Kyla turned her head.
Riona came running down the stairs, smiling brightly.
As the girl threw herself into her arms, Kyla held her tightly.
“Teacher, why are you so late? I’ve been waiting forever! Was the concert that fun?”
“Yes, my lady. It was wonderful. I wish you could have come with me.”
“Hmph, you always say that.”
Riona pouted, letting out a small huff.
“No, really—next time…”
‘Let’s go together.’
The words caught in Kyla’s throat.
‘Next time? When would that be?’
She was so caught up in the excitement of the academy that she had completely forgotten about Riona.
It was for this young girl that she had decided to stay a little longer, despite wanting to leave because of him.
Only now did she realize that, if she went to the academy, she would have to leave Riona behind as well.
“What do you mean ‘next time’? Why did you stop?”
“Riona, don’t be rude to your teacher.”
Silas stepped closer to them.
“I’m not being rude! Brother, don’t b*tt in.”
“Riona!”
Silas raised his voice sharply, clearly displeased.
Caught in an awkward moment, Kyla gently took Riona’s hand and looked up at him.
“Your Grace, I’ll speak with Lady Riona. It’s a happy day, after all.”
Silas looked down at her, his brows drawn tightly together.
The faint flicker in his dark eyes, perhaps it was only her imagination.
“Come now, Silas. Leave it to Miss Feilding, and let’s go. We were about to take a walk, weren’t we?”
It was Penelope’s voice.
She called him Silas.
It was only his name, yet Kyla felt her chest tighten.
Turning back to Riona, Kyla spoke gently.
“Shall we go to your room, my lady?”
She held out her hand.
Riona pressed her lips together for a moment, then reluctantly took her hand.
As Kyla clasped her small, delicate fingers, which felt like a tiny seashell, Riona’s heart unexpectedly swelled.
In fact, it felt as though she was the one being comforted.
She nodded slightly to Jayden, who was watching her with concern, as if to reassure him that she was all right.
Then, with Riona by her side, she walked upstairs.
Translator
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
Fernanda
You’ve completely disappointed me, Silas. Penelope is right; you don’t have enough heart to fight for Kyla
Now that Silas is engaged in some way, I don’t like the idea of any feelings between him and Kyla.