95. The Truth About That Morning

Larael avoided Edward’s gaze.

“That day??”

Edward slightly furrowed his brow at the unexpected question. He couldn’t immediately recall which day she was referring to.

“I’m talking about the morning after Your Majesty and I slept together.”

Edward’s hands fell limply from Larael’s shoulders. This wasn’t a good sign. Perhaps his confession had been too hasty after all. Today was truly an unlucky day. Edward’s heart sank endlessly.

“……”

Edward remained silent like someone who had swallowed honey, his mouth slightly open. Larael looked at him and smiled faintly.

“I’m not saying this to reproach Your Majesty.”

Larael pulled Edward’s drooping arm and led him to the sofa. They sat down side by side. Despite Larael’s faint smile, Edward slumped onto the sofa, looking dazed. He turned his head with unfocused eyes to look at her. Seeing his empty eyes, Larael felt like she might burst into tears, but she bit her lip firmly.

But this was something she had to say eventually, and perhaps this was the moment.

“Your Majesty and I did not spend our first night together that night.”

Edward suddenly felt his head spinning. His heart began to beat violently. Reality felt like a dream, and small noises buzzed in his ears.

“What are you saying?”

Edward finally opened his mouth and asked in a strained voice.

“Did Your Majesty not notice when we shared our bed for the second time?”

No, he had noticed. Edward had simply thought it was due to his lack of experience. The events of that night flashed quickly through his mind.

‘How does Larael know?’

Edward shuddered as the rumors surrounding her suddenly came to mind. It was because of his self-disgust at having such thoughts. Despite being angrier than anyone about the rumors surrounding her, Edward was the first to recall those rumors—it was truly awful. Edward couldn’t look into Larael’s eyes.

“Someone arranged for it to appear as though Your Majesty and I had slept together.”

At Larael’s words, all of Edward’s thoughts came to a halt.

“…Who would dare??”

“Who else could it be?”

Hatred flickered in Larael’s red eyes.

“…Herwen.”

Edward murmured softly. The night he couldn’t remember came back to him. Larael said nothing and stared blankly at Edward. She had spoken up momentarily encouraged by Edward’s confession, but she couldn’t say more.

‘If you knew what I did to you before my regression, you would never look at me again.’

She absolutely couldn’t tell him.

“Larael, if you knew this fact, why didn’t you tell me?”

Edward asked in a low, sinking voice as he ran his hand over his face.

“If I had told you from the beginning… would Your Majesty have believed me? I would have become a villainess who seduced both him and Your Majesty at the behest of Grand Duke Vellaus. Then who would have protected my family, my parents?”

Unable to refute her words, Edward tightly closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Suddenly, he recalled what she had said in the forest at the summer palace.

“Have you ever thought that I orchestrated all this on purpose to take advantage of your sense of responsibility?”

‘If I had given her assurance without hesitation then that I had never thought such a thing…’

It occurred to him that perhaps Edward himself might have been the one who sealed her lips. Larael might be right. It was Grand Duke Vellaus and the Duke of Anderman. They would fabricate crimes even where none existed.

“But… why??? Why would Herwen do this to you…?”

Edward bit his lip hard.

‘Larael must have been sincere toward Herwen. And Herwen could not have been sincere toward Larael. One couldn’t use someone they loved like this. How pitiful and wretched was Larael?’

Edward felt anger toward Herwen rising within him.

“Your Majesty listens to me now, but would you have done so before? I knew the truth, yet I became the Empress Consort to protect my family. Do you still love me despite this?”

“……”

Edward lowered his head with a pained expression.

Larael had clearly stated she wouldn’t become Empress Consort. And it was the Empress Dowager who persuaded her. The Empress Dowager must have known everything already. Edward clenched his fist.

“But you said you wouldn’t become Empress Consort. Why did you change your mind?”

As doubts about her began to resurface in Edward’s mind, he immediately regretted uttering those words to Larael. But at the same time, he recalled how he had felt guilty for something he hadn’t even done, kneeling before Larael and apologizing. He was shocked that she had known the truth all along and had been watching his actions.

“How did you discover the truth? Even if you couldn’t tell me at first because you didn’t trust me enough, you had opportunities to tell me later. Did I not give you enough trust?”

“No, Your Majesty…”

Larael was afraid. She wanted to enjoy this happiness, which might not last long, for just a little longer. Edward’s cold, reproachful gaze pierced Larael’s heart as if with a sharp knife. Tears welled up repeatedly, but she suppressed them with long breaths.

“Grand Duke Vellaus threatened me. He said he had evidence that I purchased aphrodisiacs to seduce Your Majesty. Would you have believed me even if you saw that evidence?”

“Of course I would have believed you.”

Even if his words were a lie, she wanted to believe them, despite his contradictory gaze.

“And I discovered this fact… by chance. Perhaps God directly enlightened my foolish self…”

Larael waited for Edward to speak, feeling as if she were awaiting her sentence. Even if Edward told her to disappear from his sight immediately, Larael would have nothing to say. Her heart kept collapsing over and over.

An unbearable silence flowed between them. Edward was the first to break the suffocating silence.

“I am truly selfish. To think I’m holding you accountable for deceiving me… You were betrayed by Herwen… I wasn’t even considering how you must feel.”

Edward thought to himself: What if Larael had used him like that? If she had, Edward would have crumbled completely, unable to bear it.

At Edward’s words, Larael burst into tears before she could compose herself. Surprised by her sudden tears, he quickly took out a handkerchief and handed it to her. Larael stared blankly at Edward’s hand holding the handkerchief. She reached out to take the handkerchief he offered and wiped the tears from her eyes.

If he had seen her crying without hearing what she just told him, he wouldn’t have simply handed her a handkerchief—he would have wiped her tears away with his own hands and comforted her. His words seemed to care for her, but his actions did not. Edward trembled with intense self-loathing. After all this, could he truly say he loved Larael?

Just moments ago, he had held her so tightly in his arms, not wanting to let her go, almost crushing her body.

‘And now?’

Edward looked at Larael with eyes full of complex emotions. Larael’s red eyes were sorrowful yet calm, as if they understood everything in Edward’s heart. As he met her red eyes, Edward’s vision blurred. The thoughts that had been jumbling his mind suddenly collapsed like a sand castle. Nothing else mattered. He hadn’t loved her to gain anything. He was happy just having Larael by his side. He simply wanted her. That was enough.

Edward stood up, went to Larael’s side, and took back the handkerchief he had given her. Then he kissed the corner of her eye where tears still pooled.

He could feel her eyelashes trembling.

“Your Majesty, don’t forgive me.”

Larael said in a broken voice. Edward’s lips moved from the tip of her nose, following her elegant contours, to her lips. Edward cupped both her cheeks with his hands.

“Larael, look at me.”

Larael had been avoiding Edward’s gaze, looking down, but at his words, she looked into his eyes.

“Larael, what matters now is that I love you.”