Richel recalled what the physician had told her.

That Edwin was refusing to eat.

For now, she decided to pretend she knew nothing.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to eat the bread?”

Startled, Edwin quickly picked up the bread.

“No, I’m eating. I should eat.”

Holding the bread in his hand, he slowly spread butter across it.

Richel pretended to focus on her own bread while secretly watching him.

‘Is that seriously what he calls eating?’

Edwin tore off pieces of bread no bigger than birdseed and ate them slowly.

Even then, his brows tightened faintly as though each bite was a struggle.

Richel hesitated for a moment, debating whether to bring it up at all.

She had a feeling that, once they started talking about it, the conversation would no longer be pleasant.

She did not want to ruin the meal.

Just then, a servant brought out the next dish: It was a hearty stew made with potatoes, carrots, dried tomatoes and beef.

The rich aroma alone was enough to stimulate her appetite.

‘Maybe I should just eat first and think about it later. The head chef worked hard on this too…’

Richel broke another piece of bread into smaller pieces and dropped them into the stew.

She had always loved bread thoroughly soaked in rich sauce.

Edwin glanced at her briefly before doing the same: tearing his own bread apart and dropping it into the stew.

It was the same bread that he had been nibbling on like birdseed only moments earlier.

This time, Richel could not stop herself from frowning.

It wasn’t just that Edwin was putting the bread into the stew.

He was practically throwing it away.

“Why are you putting the bread in there? You never eat it like that.”

“Hm? Ah… well… seeing you do it made it look delicious.”

“Delicious? Since when do you like soggy textures?”

Her tone sounded almost accusatory.

Flustered, Edwin hurriedly denied it and scooped up a spoonful of stew to put into his mouth.

As though trying to prove his own words true.

“Ah—!”

The stew was still scalding hot.

Edwin immediately spat the food into his napkin. The roof of his mouth had already been burned.

A pained groan escaped him instinctively.

The servants rushed over in alarm.

“Are you alright, Count?”

“No, it’s fine, I’m alright…”

Realizing how clumsy and flustered he must have seemed, Edwin’s face turned red.

At that moment, he knocked the spoon over with his arm.

He had put it down carelessly in his haste.

Clatter!

The stew pooled on the table and splashed across his clothes.

And, of all things, it was rich, oily red stew.

Dark stains spread messily across his outfit.

“Count!”

More alarmed cries followed.

Edwin’s face turned even redder than the stew itself.

Richel let out a sigh.

“Go change your clothes first. They’re completely stained now…”

“No, it’s alright. I can just wipe this off.”

At his gesture, the servants hurried over with damp towels and began blotting at the fabric.

But the stains had already soaked into the clothing.

Richel spoke again.

“That won’t come out like that. I said go change your clothes.”

Edwin still hesitated.

Richel’s expression hardened.

Back then, Edwin had hated whenever she said anything to him, taking every word as criticism.

“Why are you still standing there? Is it because I’m the one telling you to do it?”

“No. It’s just… this is the first meal we’ve shared in a long time, isn’t it? I didn’t want you sitting here alone waiting for me…”

At those words, Richel let out a hollow laugh.

The absurdity of it left her speechless.

“I’ve eaten alone here countless times. Waiting for you. So what exactly are you trying to say now?”

Edwin could not offer a single excuse.

Because everything she said was true.

Tearing the remaining bread into her stew, Richel continued.

“You don’t need to keep watching my mood and acting like this. I’m not going to feel hurt just because you leave me sitting alone for a while.”

“I’m sorry. Back then, I…”

“I told you not to make excuses, didn’t I? You don’t have to stand there hesitating like this either. Just go change your clothes.”

She did not want to hear excuses.

Or apologies.

Or words about how sorry he was.

“How long are you planning to stand there? Or do you want to end the meal here?”

“No, that’s not what I—”

“Or what? Is this because I interfered and told you to go change? You used to say that to me all the time. That I should stop interfering.”

In the end, Richel’s emotions overwhelmed her.

Old wounds were reopened with every word she said.

Even now, she was still hurt by the things he had once said to her.

Suddenly, tears spilled from Edwin’s eyes.

Startled, he hurriedly wiped them away.

“S-sorry. I wasn’t trying to cry…”

But the tears would not stop.

For a moment, Richel was overwhelmed by anger.

She could not fathom why it was him crying.

She was the one who should have been crying.

A tangled mix of irritation, resentment and fury swirled inside her.

In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to scream at him.

‘No. If I do that, we’ll just end up back where we started again.’

Forcing those emotions down with all her strength, she spoke coldly.

“Just hurry up and go change your clothes. And stop crying too. I don’t want to look at it.”

“Hhk… ngh…”

Edwin swallowed his sobs.

Richel averted her gaze completely.

Shortly afterwards, someone could be heard leaving the dining room.

***

Edwin returned to his room and changed his clothes.

More of the stew had splashed onto him than he had initially realized, meaning he had to put on a completely different outfit.

He was displeased with the hastily chosen clothes, but he had no time to be selective.

He could not keep Richel waiting for too long.

After wiping his face with the damp towel a servant had handed him, Edwin carefully straightened his clothes once more.

His reflection in the mirror looked slightly swollen from crying and utterly lifeless.

On impulse, he turned to the servant and asked.

“How do I look?”

“Pardon? What exactly do you mean, my lord…?”

“How much worse do I look compared to before? Is it bad enough to be unpleasant to look at?”

The servant stared at him in surprise.

Edwin spoke again.

“I’m not asking for polite flattery. I want the truth, so answer honestly.”

“That’s absolutely not the case. Not at all.”

The servant answered sincerely.

After all, Edwin was still handsome.

Although the shadows under his eyes had deepened, and his jawline and cheekbones had become much sharper, his features remained striking.

Compared to how he used to look, Edwin’s condition had undeniably worsened.

However, if Edwin were considered unattractive, then every other man in the Empire would look worse than a worm.

The comparison itself was unfair.

Edwin wanted to believe the servant, yet he still found himself unable to like the reflection in the mirror.

“…Don’t I look pathetic? My face, the skin beneath my eyes… everything looks dry and lifeless. Even my hair.”

The way he evaluated himself was brutally harsh.

Flustered, the servant hurried to reassure him again.

“That truly isn’t the case. You only look a little unwell, that’s all. If you start eating properly again, you’ll recover very quickly.”

The servant desperately tried to explain that the flaws Edwin obsessed over were only minor details.

But Edwin interpreted the words differently.

‘You’ll look better once you recover.’

To him, that simply meant that he looked awful.

He stared gloomily back at his reflection in the mirror.

The man in the mirror looked gaunt and dull.

Edwin thought he looked ugly and pitiful beyond belief.

‘Richel probably doesn’t want to look at me either.’

Until now, Edwin’s appearance had been as much of an asset as his wealth.

But not anymore.

Those were the only two advantages he had ever truly possessed.

Things he had been born with effortlessly.

It was because of these advantages that he had won Richel’s heart.

Because of them, he had received her love.

And no one understood that better than Edwin himself.

Whenever Richel treated him coldly or he was tormented by memories of the past, he would desperately search for something — anything — that he could improve.

Trying to improve his appearance was part of that.

That was why he had forced himself to eat those awful meals.

At least until he overheard Richel talking about transferring responsibilities.

‘The moment I recover, she’ll probably leave immediately. What am I supposed to do…?’

Grrrrr—

His stomach growled loudly.

The servant watched him cautiously before bringing over a box of sweets that had been set aside nearby.

Edwin took out two pieces at once and shoved them into his mouth.

The overwhelming sweetness coated his tongue unpleasantly, but he forced himself to chew and swallow them anyway.

He could not allow his stomach to growl with hunger in front of Richel.