“Then just send me away.”

He lifted his head when she finished speaking.

“…… Right.”

Beneath the straight ridge of his brow, the shadowed hollows of his eyes curved faintly. Adeline had been watching his blue eyes gradually disappear and was about to speak, but he was faster.

“Somehow it’s not easy.”

It’s not easy. He let his words trail off in a way that wasn’t like him. A thin, subdued voice slipped from Adeline’s lips as well.

“…… Where is the baby?”

Again, he avoided answering. The silence fell so completely that even the dripping of the wet towel seemed to stop.

“……”

“At least tell me where. No, show me even now. If you do…… if you do, I’ll reconsider Harden.”

His low, weary breath scattered into the quiet.

* * *

Once she could move around with some ease, Adeline opened the bedroom door and stepped outside.

Her body hadn’t fully recovered yet, but she could no longer stay lying in bed. A suffocating weight pressed down on her chest, and she felt she would choke if she didn’t confirm something.

The first place she headed was the baby’s room, prepared across from the bedroom on the right.

A space made by knocking down three empty rooms for the baby who would soon be born.

It was a room that had been carefully renovated with the flow of movement in mind, so that a wet nurse could stay and care for the child. Throughout the pregnancy, Adeline had filled this room piece by piece, carrying baby items home one by one, the way a squirrel gathers acorns.

A small bed, a blanket finished by hand, toys that had never been used even once.

And the clothes she had knitted herself, but never got to put on the baby.

In truth, Adeline hadn’t planned to stay long in this room.

She had only meant to stop by briefly before visiting the baby’s small grave. She had only wanted to take at least one piece of clothing she had made herself, to lay over the baby on a spring day when the cold wind still lingered.

But the moment she opened the door and stepped inside, Adeline froze where she stood.

“Wh, what on earth……”

The baby’s room was empty.

Adeline couldn’t take a single step further and stopped right there.

She couldn’t make sense of what was before her eyes. It was too clean. There was too much nothing. Even the bleak sight of not a single piece of furniture left her eyes shaking wildly.

“Where, where did it all go……?”

Her voice trembled.

She looked around the room. The floor, the walls, the windowsill. Nothing, not a single item remained. Not one shoe, not one handkerchief.

The moment that realization hit her, her legs gave out.

Adeline crumpled to the floor right there, and then collapsed and began to crawl.

“Someone…… cleared it out…… Why……?”

Her voice wouldn’t come out properly. It was less a question and more the sound of air leaking out.

Her gaze swept the room, catching on something, then sliding off into empty space. The things that should clearly have been here were nowhere to be seen. They had vanished too naturally, too cleanly.

If it had been furniture or toys bought from outside, well, she might have been able to understand that.

Because it hurt too much. Because it was too cruel. Because she couldn’t bear to look.

If those were the reasons, there might have been room to deceive herself.

But the socks and hat she had knitted herself were gone too.

The things she had worked stitch by stitch through the nights, stroking her belly, talking to a child who hadn’t yet come.

Even the small warmths she had made without stopping, even when her fingertips went numb, even when the yarn tangled.

The moment she realized that, her heart clenched like something had seized it.

Her breath caught in her throat. It felt suffocating, like air couldn’t reach her lungs.

Could Kailen have…… done this?

The moment that thought crossed her mind, she could no longer hold on.

Her chest ached like it was tearing apart. She felt something snap inside her, a clean break.

“How, how could you……”

The hand pressed against the floor shook uncontrollably.

She couldn’t even feel the cold of the floor properly.

“You could have at least left…… one thing to remember by……?”

The words didn’t make it to the end.

Tears poured out all at once. Without a moment to stop them, without a moment to hold them back.

“Our baby who doesn’t even have a name……”

Her throat closed up. She tried to draw in a breath and failed.

“How could you, how could you……”

The emotions she had been holding back, the pain that had been piling up, all burst at once.

The grief she had been suppressing swallowed her reason whole.

“Aah… aah……!”

Adeline let out a cry like a m*an.

She began to weep like someone who had lost her mind, like someone gone mad.

Lying face down on the floor, she groped across the empty space with her hands.

Like she was searching for something that might still be there somewhere.

Like she wanted to believe it hadn’t completely disappeared yet.

At the sound of her crying, hurried footsteps came from outside. It was Mrs. Lien and Tanya.

“Madam……!”

The moment the two of them saw Adeline, the color drained from their faces.

Mrs. Lien quickly grabbed her and tried to take her out of the room, but Adeline resisted with everything she had.

“My…… my baby……! Where did everything that was here go! My baby’s things……!”

“Madam, please. You need to go back to your room and rest right now.”

Adeline shook her head, sobbing.

“Bring my baby back…… my, my child……”

Her arms had gone limp and she couldn’t even stand properly, and she finally sank to the floor right there.

Only the questions no one would answer drifted through the empty room.

That day, Adeline could not believe she was still alive.

This place felt like hell.

* * *

Infants who had not been baptized generally did not receive an official funeral. It was even uncommon for them to be buried in a corner of the public cemetery on the outskirts of the city, or even in a family plot.

So what of a stillborn infant. In most cases, the best that was done was a rough handling and burial wherever was convenient.

But Kailen had arranged a small burial plot at the back of the estate grounds for their child, he had said. So that she could visit the child whenever she wished.

〈So don’t think about anything else, just focus on recovering.〉

Adeline had leaned on those words and dutifully attended her appointments, forcing herself to eat and take her medicine, but even after two weeks, her body and mind did not recover easily.

These days she spent more than half of each day lying in bed. When she lay still, all manner of thoughts crept in.

If she had taken better care of her health, would the stillbirth not have happened?

During the pregnancy she should have focused solely on the baby, but could it have been because her mind was unsettled with cluttered thoughts?

Or was it because she had taken all sorts of medicines without discrimination, anything that might help with the pregnancy?

She would lose herself endlessly in this meaningless self-destruction, and then the sun would set and Kailen would come home.

* * *

It was not a particularly special day.

The sky was clear, the sunlight settled down without being excessive, and even the helplessness that had been pressing down on her seemed to have gone quiet, catching its breath for a moment. But strangely, today she did not want to stay shut up in the bedroom.

Adeline sat by the window and hesitated for a long while before quietly opening her mouth.

“…… I want to go outside for a bit.”

Tanya looked at her with wide eyes.

The words were passed along to Mrs. Lien, and the answer that came back a moment later was, fortunately, a yes. The condition was that not only Tanya but an escort knight would accompany her as well, but she was told to go out and get some fresh air.

Of course, Mrs. Lien would not have decided that on her own. No one had said anything outright, but Adeline could tell whose instruction it had been.

Kailen, most likely.

She found the idea of being accompanied by an escort knight bothersome, but there was nothing to be done.

Adeline said she understood, then boarded the carriage with Tanya and Mrs. Lien trailing after her, and the escort knight following behind.

As the carriage moved, the sound of wheels scraping over gravel continued in a steady rhythm.

Adeline was looking outside through the small carriage window with a blank expression when Tanya, seated across from her, said in a bright voice,

“Since you’ve come out for the first time in a while, please do some shopping and eat something delicious and lift your spirits.”

“…… Yes, I should.”

Adeline was well aware that those words were a kindness directed at her in her low state, and she knew full well what condition she was in right now.

The carriage headed into the city and finally reached a place bustling with people. The rolling wheels came to a stop, and the attending secretary carefully opened the carriage door and escorted her out with great courtesy.

“Where shall I take you now, Madam?”

It didn’t really matter much to her, but Adeline thought for a moment and answered.

“I heard there’s a newly opened exhibition. I’d like to see it.”