Chapter 6.5

“Why, why? I don’t understand. Why me, why?”

“Anything about you is lovable. The way you fiercely assist His Highness the Crown Prince, your intelligence, the way you attentively care for your colleagues. When you look at me with those shining eyes, it feels like my heart is melting. When I see this soft lavender hue, my mind fills entirely with thoughts of you, and I can’t think of anything else.”

If left unchecked, Leonid seemed ready to endlessly declare how much he loved Katia throughout the night. Katia looked at him with eyes that still held disbelief. Seeing her finally meet his gaze, Leonid smiled more brightly than ever, filled with happiness.

“It’s okay if you don’t love me much. Really, it’s fine. Because for the rest of my life, I’ll love you more than you love me. That’s enough for me.”

A sob escaped her lips. She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer.

What am I even worth? 

Katia felt dizzy from Leonid’s sweet voice, his warmth, and his constant kisses on her cheeks and ears. It didn’t feel real—she wanted to pinch her own cheek to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

Leonid gently wiped away her flowing tears with careful hands. In a daze, Katia blurted out the thoughts swirling in her mind.

“…I don’t suit you, Captain. That’s what they’ll say.”

“Who?”

“You’re still a high-ranking noble, someone who will inherit your family’s legacy. Not to mention, you’re His Highness’s closest aide… you’ll rise to an even higher position in the future.”

“And?”

“Then, then… you’ll need to meet someone fitting for that status…”

Her voice grew wet with tears again. Leonid sighed deeply and wiped her eyes with a cautious touch.

“Do you really think that?”

“His Highness chose someone like Lady Ivans for that reason, and… noble marriages are always like that…”

“Oh, Katia. Are you still thinking about His Highness? Don’t tell me… do you still love Alehin?”

Leonid frowned slightly and clicked his tongue softly. He seemed displeased by the mere mention of Alehin from Katia’s lips. Leaning his forehead against hers, he rubbed his nose against hers, his gaze showing a mix of playfulness and unease. Katia was surprised at how well she could read his emotions.

But Leonid’s assumption was wrong, and Katia sniffled as she shook her head. Leonid, who had been kissing her trembling lips, began to speak in a gentle voice, as if to soothe her. Despite casually mentioning the name of royalty, Leonid showed no hesitation.

“Alehin didn’t choose Marielle; it was Marielle who chose him.”

“…What?”

“She set her sights on him when she was ten years old. Even when he hesitated despite her advances, she pressured me to arrange opportunities and eventually tied him down.”

Katia had never imagined such a thing. Her mouth fell open in shock. Marielle, who had seemed so meek, was actually the one who had put a leash on Alehin. Leonid smirked as if he had anticipated her reaction.

“She pretends to be a demure lady when people are watching, but she’s incredibly persistent when it comes to getting what she wants.”

“I… I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. There’s no way you could have known what kind of person Marielle is.”

Leonid whispered as he gently stroked Katia’s hair, which had calmed down somewhat.

“Anyway, if you think I’m not someone who suits you… then I’ll become someone who suits you.”

“What?”

“Someone who’s smart, capable, and worthy of the beautiful and talented aide to His Highness the Crown Prince.”

“You… you’re already fine. You’re perfect.”

“I think the same way as you. Katia, you’re already perfect. So, Katia…”

Leonid’s arms slowly loosened. His gaze shifted downward as he knelt on one knee before her. Holding both of her hands tightly, he smiled brightly. Even though her face was streaked with tears, Leonid saw her as radiant and beautiful as the moonlight. Hiding his trembling heart, he asked carefully.

“Be with me.”

“……”

“I love you, Katia.”

I… I… 

Katia stammered with trembling lips. As she looked at Leonid, who awaited her answer, she gasped for breath. 

Is this real? Truly? 

Then suddenly, she remembered the secret she had hidden and fled from. She glanced down at her stomach and placed a hand over it.

I need to tell him this first. 

Her thoughts scattered chaotically.

“Leonid, listen. I…”

As she tried to continue, she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach and gasped. Her face turned pale as she bent forward. Her entire abdomen throbbed painfully, leaving her unable to make a sound. Her legs gave out, and she collapsed onto the spot.

Seeing Katia suddenly crumble, Leonid hurriedly caught her.

“Katia, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Uh… ugh…”

Unable to answer, Katia glanced weakly at Leonid’s face. Her vision blurred from the pain, making it hard to see his worried expression clearly. Cold sweat ran down her back, and her fingertips trembled.

“Katia!”

“Sis!”

From afar, Tasha’s voice calling out to her and the sound of running footsteps reached her ears. But it felt like she was sinking underwater, their voices growing muffled and distant. Katia gasped for air, struggling to hold onto her fading consciousness. Her last memory was of Leonid’s voice, trembling as he called her name.

* * *

When she opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was the familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling of her room. It wasn’t the ceiling of her house in the capital but that of her home in her hometown. Thin curtains dimmed the light, making the room appear hazy. She tried to lift her arm to touch her forehead, but her arm felt heavy, as if weighed down by sandbags.

Had I been sleeping? Was it a dream? 

Katia couldn’t tell if her last memory was reality or a dream. She wondered if guilt and regret over Leonid had led her to dream of him. If that was the case, it was proof of her foolishness.

“…Sob…”

Tears welled up again for no reason.

At the faint sound of her sobbing, someone in the room pushed a chair back with a scraping sound and stood up.

Startled, Katia shivered and turned her head toward the sound. Slowly, as if she couldn’t believe it, she shook her head.

“It wasn’t… a dream…”

“You’re awake. Thank goodness. Truly, thank goodness.”

Leonid knelt by the bedside, his brows furrowed and his forced smile barely holding. His cheeks and the area under his eyes were rough and haggard, yet his gaze remained solely on Katia. With a large hand, he gently stroked her cheek and hair as though handling something precious. He lifted her hand, kissed the back of it, and rubbed his cheek against it.

“You have no idea how frightened I was when you collapsed, Kitty.”

“It really is you, Captain…?”

“They said you weren’t eating or sleeping enough, and your body was in terrible shape. Your stomach was in the worst condition. They said it was severe stomach cramps that caused you to faint…”

Stomach cramps… 

The nausea and stomach pain weren’t early pregnancy symptoms but rather signs of a gastrointestinal issue. If she had gone to the hospital instead, she could have gotten a more accurate diagnosis. But at the time, she had been too confused and afraid to make a rational decision. That had been her biggest mistake. A bitter laugh escaped her lips.

Katia began to chuckle softly. Her laughter grew louder and louder until she was gasping and even shedding tears. Leonid, flustered, repeatedly asked, “Katia, what’s wrong?” unable to figure out what to do.

“Ha-ha, ha… I’m so stupid.”

Groaning, she tried to sit up. Leonid quickly supported her back, helping her sit comfortably. Wiping her tears with her fingers, she looked at him. Her face, streaked with tears and laughter, looked rather ridiculous.

“I have something to confess. I was going to tell you last night.”

“Go ahead.”

“Actually, I thought I was pregnant.”

Leonid stared at her blankly, as if he couldn’t quite process what he had just heard. Then, like a flower blooming, a radiant smile spread across his face. He looked ready to ask if it was true, but Katia shook her head.

“No, listen to me carefully. I said I thought I was.”

“You’re not…?”

“Well, the last time we… you know. That day, I didn’t take the medicine. So, I wasn’t using any contraception.”

“Ah…”

“And I felt nauseous, my stomach hurt… and I didn’t get my period.”

Feeling embarrassed, Katia scratched her nose with her finger. Words tumbled out quickly without her meaning to.

“I was scared people would think I was some strange woman trying to trap you with a child after saying I didn’t want this. And, well, what would people say? A woman with nothing to her name seduced someone admired by everyone, got pregnant, and clung to his side—that’s what they’d say. I was scared.”

Even though it had all been unnecessary worry, she muttered under her breath. Leonid, who had been staring at her blankly, suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace.

Caught off guard by his unexpected reaction, Katia let out a strange sound, “Uh!” Leonid’s large back heaved as he buried his face into her shoulder, speaking softly.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

“How is this your fault, Captain?”

“You must have been scared and anxious, dealing with it all on your own. No wonder you got sick.”

“…I should have just been honest or gone to the hospital…”

“No, it’s my fault.”

Leonid confessed with a face full of guilt.

“Actually, ever since the first night, I’ve been taking contraceptive medicine every time.”

“What?”

“In case, by any chance, you didn’t want a child but ended up pregnant… Oh, I mean, I’d be thrilled. A child that looks like you would be wonderful! But you’ve only just started showing your potential, so I thought we could have children after we got married…”

“Oh, my.”

Katia felt utterly drained, staring at him speechlessly. If he had told her this earlier, she wouldn’t have had to worry so much! And yet, the idea that he had been envisioning marriage and children all on his own was both absurd and amusing.

Who said this man was stoic and cold? He might appear composed and rational on the outside, but deep down, he was like a nervous wreck, eagerly dreaming of a beautiful future with the person he’d fallen for at first sight. Katia couldn’t help but laugh weakly, “Ha, ha-ha.” Her laughter seemed to scold him, making Leonid lower his head again.

“I’m sorry. Truly, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. This was… a misunderstanding caused by poor communication. Let’s call it mutual fault.”

Hearing “forgiveness” from Katia, Leonid repeatedly kissed the back of her hand, whispering his thanks. Katia wasn’t sure why he was thanking her, but she decided to keep her mouth shut. Watching the large man fumble awkwardly was both amusing and endearing.