Chapter 7

And so, reincarnated once again, she still retained the memories of the past.

What had changed from her previous life was that her heart had been torn and torn until no more blood could come out, until it had bled and bled and then dried into something thick and crusted.

‘Love will never again dwell in my heart.’

Never again. She swallowed the words inwardly as though making a vow.

Wriggling the limbs she still could not control, she gave a small laugh. Soft flesh, her own arms with soft bones that had not yet hardened. Her hell had begun again.

‘Let me die.’

Her life’s goal was gone. She had run forward like a racehorse. Having lost the victory again and again before the finish line of the place beside him, she had no strength left and could no longer run.

Even if she lived, all that awaited was being hurt once more.

She was residue. She had left everything behind in that cold river.

All her will to live and all her resolve, every bit of it.

“My, why is our daughter like this?”

From the moment she was born, except for the few times milk had been put to her lips, she cut off all intake. She did not even drink water. Celia held her in her arms and brought her soft br*ast to her face, but the tightly closed mouth would not open.

“Viviana, why are you doing this? Hmm?”

A crease formed between Celia’s brows.

Because of her refusal to eat anything, Celia’s worry was beyond measure. Thinking perhaps her own milk did not suit her, contrary to her original plan to raise the baby herself, she hired a wet nurse and tried to feed Viviana the woman’s milk, but Viviana’s mouth would not open.

They tried feeding her fruit juice and sugar water too, but she would not open her mouth.

They even dripped honey over her lips, but even at that sweet scent, Viviana’s mouth would not part.

After agonizing over it, Celia called a Priest before anything happened to Viviana.

“Why is our child like this?”

When the Priest came to visit while Viviana was asleep, he examined her and then infused holy power into her body, restoring some vitality to it.

He poured in enough that she would not need to eat for a while, but if things continued like this, her digestive organs and innards might begin to deteriorate.

It was one thing for an adult to go without food for several days, and quite another for a newborn child to do so.

“Madame, the Young Lady is grieving over something.”

“She is grieving?”

What the Priest said was this. The knot of sorrow inside her heart was draining away her strength.

At those words, Celia’s face turned pale.

“T-then, with holy power, can that somehow….”

“Madame, forgive me for saying so…. Holy power is not omnipotent.”

It was irreverent for a Priest himself to say such a thing, so his face reddened, but he spoke honestly.

The heart affected the mind as well, so if handled wrongly, she might truly collapse.

“There is no choice but for the Young Lady herself to find the will to live.”

After saying that, the Priest added that while she would not need to eat for some time, her heart still had to be eased as quickly as possible, and then he left. Celia’s pale face turned toward Viviana.

“…My daughter, what is making you so sad?”

Looking down at her daughter, who would not open her mouth, Celia wore a sorrowful expression. And time passed, and passed.

“Madame.”

Marquis Orhan called out to his wife, who was staggering as she walked. From the moment Viviana stopped eating, Celia had only picked at her own food, and after a few days had passed, she too had given up eating altogether, following Viviana.

The Marquis treasured Viviana, the daughter who resembled him. But more precious than that was Celia, the wife he loved.

If he had to choose between the two, then naturally it would be Celia, so he took his precious wife’s hand and pleaded.

“Let us give up.”

Holding his wife’s hand with a pained face, he told her they must give up on their daughter. Of course, with the power of his family, they could somehow keep Viviana alive. If they continued as now, pouring holy power into her so she could live without eating, then her life could go on.

‘If we keep her alive like that… then what?’

Viviana did not even cry. Since she had eaten nothing, she did not relieve herself either. She was simply waiting day after day for death.

Even if they forcibly kept her breathing like this, if she reached ten years old and then twenty and still showed no improvement, how would that be any different from death?

There was a world of difference between being unable to move because one’s body was weak while still having the will, and having no physical problem at all but lacking any will to live.

If Viviana had been the former, the Marquis would have used even a mountain of gold to keep her alive.

But if he kept clinging to a child with no will to live, he would lose his wife, and so the Marquis became cold and resolute.

“We can have another child.”

Of course, that child could never be Viviana.

Perhaps he would have to live with that in his heart for the rest of his life. But still, the Marquis treasured Celia too much.

He tried to give up on Viviana for her sake, but Celia’s resistance was fierce.

“No!”

“Celia!”

“She is our daughter! How can you say we should give up on her?”

“My heart aches too! But I cannot lose you!”

Celia struggled out of the Marquis’s arms as he held her tightly and then pushed him away.

“It is alright, our child will recover soon. She will get better soon….”

At that face, which even showed a trace of madness, the Marquis could only stare in despair. Viviana could no longer be left at Celia’s side.

“It is too late for today, so tomorrow I will send Viviana to the temple. We will leave her there to be raised.”

“Frederick!”

“I say it again, I cannot lose you!”

Celia tried to resist the Marquis as he informed her, but he did not yield in the slightest. Standing blankly in the corridor after he turned away and disappeared, Celia hurried her steps and ran to Viviana.

When she flung the door open, she saw the wet nurse holding and soothing the unresponsive child.

“Madam.”

“Give me Viviana.”

Taking her daughter from the woman, who bowed her head, Celia loosened the front of her dress and bared her chest.

On Celia’s body, gaunt because she had not eaten, there was only one place still plump with flesh, and that was her br*asts. Unlike the rest of her wasting body, they were full of milk inside, so swollen that Viviana could latch on at any moment. She brought her swollen br*ast to Viviana, but once again the child turned away.

“No, Viviana!”

Celia coaxed her desperately. Her husband, Marquis Orhan, was a rational and decisive man. It was shocking that this applied even to his own daughter, but unless Viviana changed her attitude, he would not change his decision.

“Please, Via. Just drink a little.”

From her br*ast came the sweet scent of mother’s milk. By instinct, one ought to be drawn to that sweet scent, and yet Viviana’s mouth would not part, as though sealed shut. Celia’s insides burned.

‘…This will not do.’

Once she was sent away, they would never see each other again until death. Celia could neither hate her husband for making such a decision for her sake, nor give up on Viviana, and she might well go mad. Her eyes, dark and sunken as if sinking into shadow, began to blaze again.

“Do not give up, Viviana.”

She did not know what sorrowful thing had happened, but the days Viviana had yet to live were long. Among those days there might be things sadder than anything she had experienced so far, but there would also be happy and exciting things.

Celia wanted to go through all of them with Viviana.

Celia brought her index finger to her own mouth and bit down hard on it, while with one hand she forced Viviana’s mouth open. As her mouth was pried open, Viviana’s tightly shut eyes slowly opened.

Into those dried-rose eyes, the same color as the eyes of the husband she loved, Celia smiled softly and ground her index finger between her sharp canine teeth.

Crunch―!

“Madam!”

At the sight of blood welling up from the bitten finger and running down across her palm, the startled wet nurse fidgeted anxiously.

Without looking at the wet nurse, Celia shoved her bleeding finger into her daughter’s mouth.

When something entered her parched mouth, her body cried out for her to eat it. Viviana did not want to. She wanted to die like this, and she did not like the metallic taste either.

“Mghhh…!”

At the sight of Viviana struggling for the first time in her life, Celia was overwhelmed. There had been times when the child showed no reaction no matter what was done, and she had even wondered whether something was wrong with her mind.

“Vivi, Via, eat, hmm? Please live.”

It was only then that Viviana’s eyes, looking back at Celia, who was whispering so desperately, trembled finely.

Hollow cheeks, eyes sunken deep, she had changed so much that the woman she had first seen was nowhere to be found.

‘Why? …Why?’

There was no way she should have changed so suddenly. She did not seem to be ill. Rather, she looked….

‘Like a famine refugee.’

It was like something she had seen on television in her previous life. Only her eyes shone brightly as she gazed down at Viviana in desperate earnestness. Why, are you trying to keep me alive.

‘What am I, to you?’

Only then did Viviana begin to listen even to the words she was murmuring. Celia kept whispering.

“Live, Viviana, my daughter. Are you not curious about what lies in your future?”

She begged her only to live, saying she would place in her arms all the sweet and delicious desserts that melted in the mouth, the pretty dresses that would softly wrap around her body and sway, and the lovely jewels that would shine brilliantly under the light.

“Please, Viviana.”

Tap, Celia pressed a kiss full of affection to Viviana’s forehead. In the trembling breath, Viviana knew that Celia was grieving.

Viviana’s hardened heart melted under Celia’s unwavering love for her child. The heart that had been wounded by love was healed by love.

Looking up at her as she whispered so desperately, Viviana sucked softly on Celia’s finger.

“Via…!”

Celia’s blood slid down the back of her throat. Her body, having finally taken in something at last, trembled and let out a loud growl from her stomach. Quickly pulling her finger from Viviana’s mouth, Celia gathered her into her arms and lifted her face onto the mound of her br*asts.

“Ahh…!”

Viviana’s mouth twitched, then she took Celia’s n*pple into her mouth and began to s*ck eagerly. At the sensation of br*ast milk leaving her chest, Celia was filled with joy.

At last, the child had given up her stubbornness and chosen to live.

“My daughter, I love you. My precious Via. Mother will do anything for you.”

Celia kept whispering as she stroked the fine hair at the back of her head.

Though Viviana’s heart filled to the brim with that love, she also felt sorrow as she drank the milk, the only thing in Celia’s body that had not dried away.

‘How… is this any different from drinking my mother’s blood….’

Growing despondent, Viviana burst into loud tears.

“Waaahhh!”

“Oh my, Via, what is it?”

At the commotion, both the wet nurse and Celia became flustered. Outside, things too grew noisy at the sound of a baby’s cries heard for the first time in so long, and then the door was flung open.