That night.

Matilda had said she needed plenty of sleep. But her heart was restless, and she couldn’t fall asleep easily.

Suddenly having a baby. It felt strange. Did this mean she wouldn’t die now?

Vivianne, who was lying curled up on her side, gently stroked her lower abdomen. It still didn’t feel real.

She could see the moon outside the window. She had thought she would turn into sea foam when that moon became full. But now she was having a baby. Time seemed to have stopped for a moment.

However, thinking about it carefully, it wasn’t that strange.

Since reuniting with Kian, she had constantly been in his arms, and he had said he was deliberately trying because he wanted her to have a baby. So a baby was conceived. It was a natural result with a clear cause.

But was this okay?

She had carried Kian’s baby before and lost it in the sea.

She had run away without the strength to protect it. In the end, one moment of wrong judgment had killed the baby.

She had never even seen its face, but it was a precious baby. She had left without even having a chance to say sorry.

She hadn’t even given it a name or loved it to her heart’s content. She had even resented the baby, wondering why she was carrying Kian’s child. Just thinking about it made her chest feel heavy and ache.

Another one of Kian’s babies. Vivianne was confused because she wasn’t sure if she was qualified to be a mother.

“Vivi, did you sleep a little?”

A gentle hand stroked her head. It was Matilda.

Since learning about the pregnancy, she had been staying by her side constantly, worried.

“Yes. I slept.”

“Why did you wake up? It’s still nighttime.”

“I think I slept too much during the day. My eyes just opened naturally.”

Vivianne turned her body from facing the window to face Matilda.

Matilda also looked a bit tired, seemingly having not slept much either.

“Are you worried? About having the baby, I mean.”

“A little.”

She had tried not to show it. But still, it was hard to fool Matilda’s eyes.

“I think a very beautiful baby will definitely be born.”

“Really? How do you know?”

“It’s your baby, Vivi. It’s natural for a baby to resemble its mother.”

Her baby.

She had only thought of it as Kian’s baby. Perhaps she had been so absorbed in that thought that she forgot another very obvious fact.

“My baby…”

Vivianne murmured softly while caressing her lower abdomen.

Yes. It was ‘her baby.’ While it was also Kian’s baby, it was also her own child growing in her womb.

“I’m so excited. A baby that looks like you, Vivi. You’re already lovely, so how lovely would a tiny baby version of you be? The Marchioness will love it too.”

Matilda whispered with a dreamy expression.

“I feel sorry for the baby that died.”

“What?”

“Even now, when I think of that baby… my chest feels blocked and stuffy, and it hurts.”

Was it okay to be happy about having a new baby? It felt wrong somehow, which was difficult.

“But Vivi, maybe that baby came back to you.”

Vivianne’s eyes widened.

“Really? Could that really be true?”

“Yes. As much as you felt sorry for the baby, the baby must have missed and wanted to see its mother too.”

“……”

“Vivi, one thing is certain. The baby wouldn’t want its mother to be sad either. They say babies in the womb can feel everything. What their mother is thinking, what emotions she’s feeling.”

It was the same this time. After learning she was having a baby, she hadn’t been able to feel happy at all. She had only thought about her own situation and hadn’t thought about the baby that had come to her.

Whether it was the dead baby returning or another baby being conceived, it didn’t matter.

If the baby could feel that, if it learned that even the mother carrying it wasn’t welcoming it, it would be so sad and lonely. That’s what Vivianne thought.

“I want you to see only good things and think only good thoughts, Vivi. I’ll help you from beside you.”

Her feelings were complicated, but one thing was certain.

She would never lose the baby again.

She had to live. She had to live for the baby’s sake. There was no other choice. She didn’t want to do something she’d regret to the baby again.

“Matilda.”

“Yes, Vivi.”

“About me having a baby. Does anyone else besides you know?”

“I haven’t even told Theo yet. Why do you ask?”

“Could we keep it secret for a while? You can’t tell from the outside anyway.”

“What?”

Perhaps it was an unexpected statement, because Matilda asked in surprise.

“It’s just so sudden. It hasn’t been long since I returned from Larson. And breaking up with Kian too. If I suddenly say I’m having a baby again, everyone will worry.”

Most importantly, it was about her own heart. She needed a little time to honestly rejoice in and accept the baby’s existence.

She wanted to tell them herself when the time came. That she was having such a precious baby of her own.

When Vivianne pleaded, Matilda slowly nodded.

“Alright. I’ll keep it secret until you’re ready, Vivi.”

Matilda smiled warmly, seemingly to reassure her.

* * *

[To Vivi]

Kian stopped while writing the name with his quill pen.

He didn’t know why he was writing a letter he couldn’t even send in the first place. He had picked up the pen just wanting to convey something. But he couldn’t even think of what to say.

Perhaps because he couldn’t sleep, his mind was hazy like fog. Kian, who had tried to write something, eventually put down the quill pen after only writing her name.

After sitting blankly in the dark room, he decided to organize Vivianne’s belongings in the townhouse one by one. He felt like he would go crazy if he didn’t do anything.

It was a townhouse he had hastily acquired to get Vivianne back. He had brought clothes and undergarments with the intention of bringing her here to stay, even briefly.

He had heard that Marchioness Baldwin also cherished Vivianne like a daughter and bought her various things to wear.

Anyway, once the red moon rose, Vivianne would become a mermaid and return to the sea.

So it seemed better to organize the things here in advance.

Kian caressed with his hand the negligee Vivianne often wore. Since she had spent most of her time in the room just waiting for footsteps, it would have been the clothes she wore most often.

“But you came dressed like that?”

“It’s all see-through. You have no sense of caution.”

He remembered scolding Vivianne for being careless when she wore the negligee. She had looked precarious wearing thin, see-through clothes with only a shawl draped over them.

“Come to think of it, you did that several times before too.”

“So I’m not the only one who saw this. Right?”

He had vented his anger at seeing her chest showing through. Even knowing she had no such intention, he had persistently questioned her.

“No matter how I think about it, you have no sense of caution. Should I bind you up with bandages? So no one can see. Hmm?”

Why had he said such things?

After that, perhaps because Vivianne felt self-conscious, every time they met she would grip the front of her shawl tightly like it was some kind of rope. Her delicate shoulders were always hunched up.

He had made her wait in the room listening only for footsteps, and even knowing she was waiting, he had deliberately ignored her.

He should have dressed her in outdoor clothes and taken her out more often.

Remembering Vivianne’s bright smile he had seen outside recently made his heart heavy. Even after confining her like that, apparently not satisfied, he had eventually even put shackles on her.

He had tormented her so much. Wasn’t it rather strange that she didn’t run away?

She had endured for such a long time.

A self-deprecating laugh escaped him.

He also touched the shoes in the box. After losing Vivianne, he had always carried Vivianne’s shoes and baby booties in the carriage.

Remembering how she had wailed that she had killed the baby made bile rise in his stomach.

– I should have stabbed Kian with that knife then. The contract would have been nullified.

– The baby would never have been conceived, never have died.

The contents written in the diary kept circling in his head. The tear stains that had fallen and spread on it were the same.

When his thoughts reached that point, Kian took out the dagger he carried in his chest.

It was the very dagger Vivianne had held but couldn’t stab him with that day.

So this must be the ‘mermaid’s knife.’

When he drew the sheath, the sharp blade gleamed coldly.

Yes, it wasn’t something Vivianne could do from the beginning. Even though he had told her she could kill him anytime if she changed her mind and placed it by her bedside every night, she couldn’t do it, so he had to do it himself.

“I’ll do that kind of thing. So you have to stay and smile for me.”

He kept muttering words he couldn’t convey again.

* * *

Matilda taught her about something called ‘prenatal education.’ Since she said the baby in the womb could feel the mother’s emotions directly, Vivianne deliberately read only her favorite books repeatedly.

They were consistently stories about two people who loved each other, overcame adversity, and eventually ended up together.

Even if such things didn’t happen in reality. No, even though it might not be her own story, reading such tales was always pleasant.

She hoped the baby would believe that such love existed.

Then, there was a knock and Matilda entered the room.

“Vivi, someone came to see you.”

“Me? Who?”

No matter how she thought about it, there was no one who would come to see her. It was strange.

“Alice. She says she has something to tell you.”