My eyes were swollen. Over two years of living as simply “Lucian,” I thought I had nearly lost the habit of crying in my sleep, but today my eyes were soaked with tears.

This has been happening lately. Coming to the capital and crossing paths with people I had buried in memory has been stirring up old feelings I had buried along with them.

Painting beautiful seas and tending to the fresh flowers of a pleasant garden, I had covered the reeking emotional refuse with a thin layer of dirt, and an unexpected wind has been slowly sweeping that dirt away.

After washing my face and dressing, I wrote a letter to Heliones right away. I would have preferred to apologize for yesterday’s rudeness in person, but I couldn’t very well summon the Emperor back and forth at my convenience, so I decided to send a letter instead.

Nothing settles the nerves quite like sleep. After a good rest, the storm of emotions from yesterday felt almost embarrassing.

It wasn’t really something worth reacting to. Heliones had simply been happy to receive an unexpected gift, and I couldn’t understand even to myself why I had responded so intensely. Having to make excuses and apologize for something I didn’t understand felt truly hopeless.

In the end, I had no choice but to write a bright red lie on that clean white paper, saying I had suddenly felt unwell. In truth, I felt little guilt about lying. After every session of t*rture I had always been in pain and misery, but whenever anyone asked, I always said I was fine, covering up the shame of the royal family.

But this was the first time I was lying about being ill when I wasn’t, and I felt a small hesitation at that.

The false excuse and the sincere apology went to the imperial palace through Elren. Somehow drained of energy, I shut myself in the bedroom all morning and stared blankly out the window.

As befitting a neighborhood near the imperial palace in the capital, people of all ages in all manner of dress moved about busily even at that early hour.

A little while later, Hanna brought me the newspaper. The front page was dominated, naturally, by articles about His Imperial Majesty’s first birthday celebration.

Most papers ran an illustration of Heliones during the parade on their cover, but two newspapers used an illustration of Heliones and Delmir dancing at the banquet.

Anyone who had attended would know exactly what the atmosphere between the two had been like, but the majority of citizens reading the papers had no way of knowing what it had felt like in that room. It appeared House Balthar had applied some pressure to those newspapers.

‘The first and only dance with His Imperial Majesty… a pair that looked made for each other….’

I felt a small pang of sympathy for the journalist who had written that piece of nonsense, the kind anyone present at the event would have scoffed at, a journalist who had surrendered to capitalism, the ideology slowly coming into fashion these days, and turned the page.

“?”

The next page carried an article about me. I had assumed almost no one would take any interest in me, and yet here was an article. I read through it as calmly as I could manage.

‘Subversive elements run rampant… the last surviving royal of the former Kingdom of Rodencia… amid an unstable international climate….’

Ah. Fortunately, most of the articles were less about me personally and more about expressing political opinions tied to my presence.

What a ridiculous situation. I had spent my life treated as though I didn’t exist within the Rodencian royal family, and now, simply for being the last surviving royal, I was drawing political attention.

Still, this too would pass. No matter how much someone might wish for Rodencia’s revival, aside from the eccentric Roned, no one had any real interest in me.

Once I returned to the countryside and lived quietly, I would soon fade from the public’s mind as well.

Such was the relatively uneventful day that passed, and late that afternoon Heliones visited the lodgings without warning, as was his way.

Had he read the letter? He must have been quite taken aback.

My head was still tangled up in yesterday’s events, but the fact that the Emperor himself had come in person filled me with such a sense of obligation that I hurried down to the first floor, stood before him, and bowed my head deeply.

“Yesterday I committed a truly grave discourtesy.”

After dismissing everyone including Elren, I offered my apology with sincerity. Whether it would be enough, I wasn’t sure.

“Not at all. It seems I kept you when you were unwell. That was my fault.”

Ah, I would almost rather he had scolded me for being rude. My heart felt so heavy.

“I am perfectly fine now, so please, sit comfortably.”

Heavy-hearted as I was, I took his word for it and sat down in the chair across from him.

“Your complexion… is not good. Are you still feeling unwell?”

Nothing hurt, but my eyes were still swollen, so there was no way my face could look well.

“I slept soundly and feel fine now.”

Whether he believed my answer or not, Heliones was quiet for a moment. I was already accustomed to him choosing his words carefully and holding them back, so I simply waited in silence for the Emperor’s lips to part.

“It is quite lonely.”

“?”

“Becoming Emperor is not as exciting as one might imagine.”

“Ah, yes.”

I suppose so. The process of becoming Emperor and everything that followed could not have been easy. But lonely?

“Everyone wants something from me. Whether it is attention, power, or wealth.”

I wasn’t sure why he was suddenly saying this. Besides, I had never once been the subject of anyone’s expectations in my entire life, so it was difficult to truly empathize with his words.

Even so, I understood what Heliones was trying to say.

Someone who cherishes you without wanting anything from you. I had once desperately wanted that kind of relationship too, a true family, a true friend.

“That is why it is comfortable here. You don’t want anything from me, do you, Miss Lucian?”

Heliones watched me with eyes the color of ash, calm and settled like a windless sea at night.

Yes. I want nothing. I hold no expectations of you whatsoever.

“I do pray for your wellbeing.”

Did my answer please him? A faint smile touched the neat corners of Heliones’s mouth.

“There are times when I want to have a conversation with no purpose behind it. Times when I want to idle away the hours.”

Even someone who appeared on the outside to be a thorough and flawless Emperor must have moments when he simply wanted to exist as Heliones the man. I had come to know that feeling myself, living as simply “Lucian,” and how comfortable it was.

“At those times, may I stop by briefly to see someone who holds no expectations of me, yet wishes me well?”

What grounds did I have to refuse? This was Heliones’s estate to begin with.

“Of course. Whenever you like.”

At my answer, Heliones looked faintly pleased, the corners of his eyes creasing softly as he covered his smile.

At his easy smile, I felt the shattered pieces of my heart, which had been breaking apart and rearranging themselves into strange shapes, slowly find their way back into place.

It was the same as before. Keep to the minimum principles, and want nothing from each other.

It was something I had done for two years, so a little longer wouldn’t change anything.

If it brought him even a small measure of ease. That much was fine.

Heliones spoke in his precise but slightly more unhurried manner than usual, sharing his various impressions of the painting he had purchased from Nelia. I matched his pace and chatted with him about the work of a favorite artist, and the time drifted by in the leisurely way he had hoped for.

Hanna’s tea went cold, and they talked until the bottom of the cups showed, and then, just under an hour later, he rose from his seat. He bid me farewell with his neat and impeccable manners and returned to the imperial palace.

Watching the back of that perfect gentleman, I struggled to hold together the pieces of my heart that kept threatening to break apart again.

* * *

“Is everyone blind or something?”

Nelia, slouched sideways in her chair and skimming through the newspaper, let out a scoff at the article about Lucian.

“Political partner, they say. What a thing to write.”

“One could see it that way. That wretched creature is the last blood of the Rodencian royal family, after all.”

The man standing in the shadow on the other side of the room answered in an unhurried voice, his gaze slanting downward at an angle.

He had features that were at once excessively striking and somehow sacred, with red hair and red eyes, and his appearance bore a striking resemblance to Lucian.

“That’s how it looks on the surface, certainly. To those who have never seen the look in his eyes.”

“His eyes?”

“Yes. He glared at me with something close to murderous intent when I mentioned the payment for the painting. He clearly didn’t want anything near his woman that another man had given her.”

“Well, you said you got more than market price. Could have just been petty pride.”

The man reached out a graceful hand, picked up his wine glass, and wet his throat.

“Don’t speak on things you haven’t seen. It was completely the look of a man protecting his woman. Who looks at a political partner with eyes full of desire like that?”

“Ha, he’s actually insane. What does he see in that hollow shell? Maybe he needs to watch his own country fall before he comes to his senses.”

Nelia wanted to correct him internally and say that anyone could see Rodencia’s fall was not Lucian’s fault but his own stupidity, but she held her tongue for now. She still needed to cooperate with the man for the time being.

“If he genuinely has feelings for Lucian, doesn’t that make all of this pointless?”

“Pointless is a bit much. It’s not as though he’ll remarry that woman.”

“I wonder. Men who go on about love are more common than you’d think. He could be one of them.”

“The young Emperor is no fool. He killed his own kin to become Emperor. Would he really remarry a princess with no backing and no country? He’ll keep her close under the guise of political reasons, and once he takes an Empress, he’ll make her his mistress.”

Mistress. Even the word itself sat unpleasantly with Nelia, who came from a country that held the sanctity of marriage in absolute reverence, but in Frianc, an Emperor’s mistress was not considered a significant flaw. An unpleasant tradition, illegal but practiced by custom and passed down through the years.

What she wanted, in the end, was a political marriage. It made no difference to her whether Heliones kept another woman or not.

If anything, having Lucian as his mistress would be even better. With no backing and unable to bear children, she would be less of a problem than some other woman.

At the word “mistress,” the man smiled a chilling smile and shook his head.