Chapter 13

The night had grown deep.

Having finished all the cleaning, I left the kitchen.

Holding a candlestick and looking around, I was once again reminded of how much I liked this house.

I began extinguishing the candles I had lit throughout the house.

Normally, this would have been part of the servants’ duties, but now I couldn’t expect anyone else to do it.

The other family members were aristocrats to the core and wouldn’t even think of doing it themselves.

‘Maybe I should assign chores in the future…?’

Though it wasn’t very hopeful, I went up to the second floor with that thought.

The first floor had my mother-in-law and sister-in-law’s rooms, while the second floor had mine and Alec’s.

I wondered if Alec had already fallen asleep when I saw someone’s silhouette in the hallway.

“…Alec?”

I adjusted the shawl draped over my shoulders and confirmed the figure.

He turned to look at me as he was about to enter his room.

“…Ah.”

“You’re still awake.”

My eyes naturally showed my delight.

His tousled black hair reflected the moonlight, his eyes were clear without hesitation.

“…Are you just coming in?”

And his velvety, fluid speech.

Even with just a change in his manner of speaking, he looked ten times more handsome than usual.

I approached him.

“I had some things to finish up. I’m about to rest now. How about you?”

“…I was just about to sleep.”

Sparkle, sparkle.

My eyes, taking him in, shone brighter than ever.

‘Finally, we can be alone.’

It felt like I had finally found time to have an honest conversation with him after several days.

Recently, everyone had been so distracted by the tyrant’s rampages that there was no time to talk.

I spoke the words that had been weighing on my mind.

“Alec, wasn’t it too hard finding a house? It must have been a difficult task for you…”

“……”

“Oh, I was just… worried. I was worried about you coming back safely.”

“…I didn’t realize you were so worried. I’m sorry-“

“No, that’s not what I mean…”

I interrupted him and took a few more steps closer, looking up at him from right in front of him.

“I don’t want to hear an apology from you. Please, don’t try to handle everything by yourself from now on. Even though you are the head of the family, I don’t want you to bear everything alone.”

During our time at the inn, I realized something.

Waiting for him was even harder.

I wanted to be with him wherever he was.

“Actually, I want to be a source of strength for you too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier…”

I clasped my hands together and spoke earnestly.

I should have said this sooner.

Before he drank poison, having lost everything to the tyrant.

Before his spirit broke and he thought of death…

Why didn’t I comfort him sooner?

Remembering that he had tried to kill himself, I regretted not being kinder to him in the past.

He looked at me with stiff eyes, unable to say anything, then finally opened his mouth.

“…Thank you. If that’s what you want, I will remember it.”

“Yes.”

I smiled at him gently.

I gazed into his eyes for a moment before speaking again, enchanted.

“…It still feels like a dream. Are you really my husband? I never realized you could speak so elegantly.”

He always had a very nice voice.

Many people would turn around when they heard his cough as they passed by.

The sound of a sacred bell couldn’t be as reverent and noble as his voice.

Now that he no longer stuttered, his tone shone even more.

The more I listened, the more unbelievable and touching it was, and my heart swelled.

Under my intense gaze, he turned his head slightly and cleared his throat.

“…Ahem.”

At that brief sound, I placed my hand on my chest.

‘How can he be so charming, even when he clears his throat…?’

It seemed that marrying a man this handsome made even the downfall of our family bearable, with my eyes and ears enjoying such a feast.

“Alec.”

I clasped my hands together and gazed at him radiantly.

He met my gaze with a puzzled look, not sure what I was about to say.

I carefully voiced the thought I had been contemplating.

“…What do you think about us sharing the same room from now on?”

“What?”

His reaction was just as I had expected.

His eyes widened, and he looked as if he had heard something he shouldn’t have.

Of course, it would be like this.

I didn’t have high hopes that my husband, who was passive in intimate matters, would want to share a room with me.

Noble couples usually don’t share a room.

Before we were expelled from the duchy, Alec and I were the same.

But now, I felt our relationship needed to grow closer.

He had been so broken that he attempted to take his own life, and I wanted to prevent such a thing from happening again.

“…I know how guilty you feel about just letting me sleep beside you.”

“…”

“You felt sorry and blamed yourself because all you could offer me was your arm as a pillow.”

His eyes wavered for a moment.

He seemed surprised that I brought this up.

I reached out and lightly grasped his arm. He flinched, but I didn’t mind.

“Even so, I want to be with you. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we have to… do that every night.”

“…”

This time, his eyes darted around, unable to find a place to rest.

My heart began to pound as well.

It wasn’t easy for me to say this either.

But unless someone openly expressed their feelings, our relationship would always remain stagnant.

Of course, it was always me who made the first move.

“Let’s stay together now, Alec. Honestly, I feel so lonely being alone…”

After saying that, I hesitated briefly before reaching out with my other arm.

Did he know?

I tried to act like it didn’t matter, like I wasn’t in a hurry, but in reality, I longed for my husband’s touch and warmth.

When would I ever get a loving touch from him, my husband?

Even without engaging in that act, I just wanted to be with him.

Was my loneliness too deep?

As my hand brushed against his side, he tensed up.

I softly hugged his waist and rested my cheek against his chest.

‘Ah.’

It was warm and cozy.

As I touched him, his abs tightened.

The rock-hard feeling was nice, yet somewhat disappointing.

‘He’s more tense than usual.’

Though he didn’t avoid me like before, he still didn’t hug me back.

He used to at least pretend to hug me when I approached first.

“Alec, are you even breathing?”

I lifted my head slightly and asked.

So, are we going to share a room or not?

His silence lasted longer than expected.

But I believed he would eventually grant my wish.

He had blamed himself for not being able to give me what I wanted, but he didn’t dislike it.

If I wanted to be with him, he would definitely agree for my sake.

My hand slipped slightly, brushing against his spine.

My cool fingertips almost touch him through his clothes.

At that moment, a bulge swelled beneath the fabric of my dress.

‘…Ah.’

The amazing feeling that I could never get used to.

Even just feeling his presence like this made my heart race.

He was someone who filled me with such thrilling anticipation.

‘It’s a shame. He’s so healthy and normal…’

Suddenly, he pulled away.

“Alec?”

I was taken aback as he turned his face slightly. His cheeks were now flushed.

‘…Did he just push me away?’

“I’m sorry.”

“…?”

“I’ll go in first tonight.”

“…”

He quickly bowed his head once and then turned away.

He opened his nearby door and slipped inside.

“…”

The sudden silence.

I stood alone in the cold hallway, blinking.

‘Was I just rejected…?’

I didn’t ask him to make a baby; I just suggested sleeping together.

Was that so repulsive…?

I couldn’t move from where I stood for a while.

* * *

‘D*mn it.’

Alec roughly ran his hand over his face as soon as he closed the door.

He moved as far from the door as possible.

He could still sense Louise in the hallway.

Thump, thump, thump.

His heart pounded as if it would burst out of his chest.

A sudden intimate hug from a woman he barely knew.

It felt like Louise had ignited a fire all over his body with her touch.

Her cool fingertips on his spine, the soft feeling of her coming close to his hard body.