Chapter 6

They deliberately chose a noisy bar. Whether swept up by the crowd or the alcohol, Eunjae thought it was better for things to pass in a blur. Wooseok refilled her glass whenever it was empty, and Eunjae drank a fair amount.

Their conversation was just silly jokes or work talk. Nothing about the blind date or his brother’s memorial. They knew each other too well—talking about those things would only make the drinks taste bitter.

“Should we go for round two after this?”

As the alcohol hit, Eunjae called out, feeling a bit more cheerful. She’d drunk more than usual, mixing drinks, but Wooseok felt confident she’d be fine.

“Where?”

He was just grateful she’d bounced back so quickly. When she didn’t text, he’d worried and called Jiyeon, who told him Eunjae was sitting alone in the hotel lounge. Hearing that had made him angry. He ignored his parents’ suggestion to stay for dinner and headed straight to Seoul. He was relieved to have arrived not too late.

“Nearby? Or maybe a karaoke place? Let’s go, let’s go. Let’s blow off some stress. I’ll pay for this.”

Eunjae staggered up with the bill and her bag. Wooseok supported her so she wouldn’t fall, and did whatever she wanted. He even took the small muffler she’d left on the table and put it in his pocket. He was worried because she’d been drinking and wore high heels, but there was nothing more he could do. Wooseok silently followed her, almost like a bodyguard.

“Blowing off stress…?”

Eunjae burst into song at the karaoke, but soon couldn’t fight off the alcohol and fell asleep on the sofa. If she drank past her limit, she’d pass out—her usual habit. Wooseok sat beside her, firmly positioning her head on his shoulder and turned off the music. Their room was silent, only the surroundings were noisy.

It was a Saturday night, so of course the place was packed. Everyone sang their hearts out. Wooseok had never felt stress relief from singing. But Eunjae loved it, so ever since high school, they always went to karaoke whenever something happened. Whether sad or happy, she said singing cleared her heart.

She’d always hand Wooseok the mic, telling him to try, and he’d sing a bit before passing it back. He preferred listening, said it helped relieve his stress. Eunjae would nod in agreement, and her clueless look was cute. Teenage Shin Eunjae had shone brightly, and now…

“Ha…”

Wooseok let out a deep sigh. Just then, Eunjae raised her sleepy face.

“Where… are we?”

“Karaoke.”

“Ah…”

She still looked drowsy. Then she checked the remaining time on the machine and made a sad face.

“What, is time up?”

Wooseok couldn’t help but laugh.

“They don’t give extra time on weekends. Let’s go.”

“Huh? Hey.”

Eunjae stared longingly at the karaoke machine, but Wooseok grabbed her arm and led her out. She’d been the one to fall asleep, so she couldn’t complain, but she looked a little annoyed. Eunjae watched his expression, and suddenly Wooseok stopped walking.

“What?”

“I can’t let this go on.”

“Huh?”

He suddenly turned his back to her and crouched down. For a moment, Eunjae wondered what he was doing, then realized—he wanted her to get on his back. He wouldn’t just watch her limp along.

“I’m fine.”

“I’m tired of holding your arm all the time.”

She hadn’t asked him to, but his way of speaking always made people feel awkward. Eunjae hesitated, then gave in and climbed onto his back. When she was younger, she’d often piggyback for fun, but at some point, she stopped—because she realized she shouldn’t.

But the more she avoided it, the more unnatural and confused things seemed. Maybe if she just acted like a friend again, things would go back to how they were. She’d tried even going on a blind date, but ended up right back where she started. So maybe she needed a different approach—and Eunjae decided that approach was to be a true friend.

“Don’t regret it if I’m heavy.”

Eunjae relaxed completely on Wooseok’s back, and felt him tip forward a bit. She hadn’t expected it to feel so satisfying. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to make a point, but Wooseok carried her easily, walking calmly.

“Have you been working out behind my back lately?”

“Hey!”

When Eunjae struggled, hitting his shoulder at his teasing, Wooseok let out a small laugh. For some reason, that made her feel better. The weekend night air wasn’t bad, and the broad, solid body she was clinging to felt reassuring.

Wooseok had practiced Taekwondo all through high school, and in college, he was very active in the soccer club, so he was well-built. Even now, he alternated between gym and swimming before work, so he never gained extra weight. It was almost a waste for such a sturdy, useful body to go unused, not dating anyone. That’s why, fueled by alcohol, Eunjae asked,

“Why don’t you date women?”

Wooseok, walking with Eunjae’s bag slung around his neck and her shoes in both hands, seemed to flinch for a moment. Eunjae, floating and swaying, felt even more tipsy. Half-asleep, she listened for his answer.

“Because I don’t feel the need to.”

She had never asked him so directly. Even when seniors in college tried to set him up on blind dates, he never accepted. Maybe he preferred meeting people naturally? It was strange, though, that he hadn’t met anyone all this time.

“Are you maybe… impotent? …Ack!”

Wooseok stopped dead. Then he lifted his back, leaving Eunjae hanging onto his neck. If he moved any more, she would fall backward. Was this his way of getting revenge? Eunjae smacked his back.

“Hey, I almost fell!”

“You’re saying things that’ll make you fall.”

“What, everyone at the office says the same thing. They ask if you’ve got some kind of problem.”

At times like this, she could only make excuses.

“Then you should’ve told them no.”

“Why would I?”

“Such loyalty, huh.”

Wooseok said, deliberately swaying his body from side to side. Eunjae clung even tighter to his neck. Her heart pounded in her chest, pressed against his back. She worried he might hear it, so she babbled anything.

“If you’re not impotent, why don’t you date women?”

She was desperate now. She wanted to know what he was really thinking. She always shared everything, but Wooseok just listened. She’d shown him everything except telling him she liked him. Sometimes, she felt resentful and unfair.

“Does not dating women make someone impotent?”

Wooseok’s voice was low.

“That’s… not what I meant, but… it’s weird. You look fine. Don’t you think we’re both weird? Neither of us has dated until now, just working all the time. You should try making an effort like me.”

In the end, Eunjae sounded like an older sister. She couldn’t tell him she liked him, couldn’t easily meet other men, so maybe he should date someone else. She was so drunk her thoughts came out all wrong.

“What if I date someone else?”

Wooseok threw out the question.

“What?”

“You’d never see me again.”

“…….”

“Would you be okay with that?”

What a jerk. How could a friend say that? A sharp pain stabbed at her heart. He could hurt her with just one word. She couldn’t live without seeing him, but seeing him was painful too. What was she supposed to do?

“Fine by me. Thank you very much.”

Eunjae raised her voice. Wooseok let out a strange laugh.

“Just go to sleep.”

That was what she had been planning anyway. Eunjae let her body sag more heavily against his back. Her heart hurt, but sleep was pulling at her. Her older sister once said something like this too—‘The baby died, but I was hungry.’ Life, living—it was just one string of cruelly ordinary days.

Without realizing, tears rolled from Eunjae’s eyes. She didn’t know they were wetting Wooseok’s back as she fell asleep, drunk.

“Shin Eunjae.”

Someone shook her awake. Half-opening her eyes, she saw Wooseok crouched with a hangover drink in his hand. Where was she? As Eunjae blinked, she realized they were in front of the convenience store near her house. Had he carried her all the way here? Impressive. Eunjae stared blankly at Wooseok. He avoided her gaze, opened the drink, and held it to her mouth.

“Drink it before I pour it down your throat.”

Annoyed by his forceful manner, Eunjae snatched it and drank it all at once herself. The bitter, foul taste slid down her throat. Lately, she drank a lot. The reason was standing right in front of her. Eunjae glared at Wooseok again. Her feelings kept going that way.

“You could’ve just left me. Why bother taking care of me?”

“I was going to.”

‘What a jerk.’

“You, don’t be nice to me anymore.”

Eunjae couldn’t help the surge of emotion. Today felt like the end. She’d dressed up, tried a blind date to escape, but only met a trashy guy. It was as if the world was telling her, ‘See? No matter how hard you try, this guy is your answer.’

“Why are you picking a fight?”

“Do you think I’m in my right mind today? You picked the wrong day.”

Even as Eunjae glared, Wooseok just laughed like it was boring. She knew his tricks. They’d get over this like it was nothing. She hadn’t realized how pathetic that would feel. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the blind date. Suddenly, Eunjae felt a reckless courage. 

What? If he dated another woman, he wouldn’t see her again? Easy. For him, everything was too easy.

She wanted to show him something real.

This was the only way.

If she wanted to end it.

If that was what it would take.

Suddenly, she grabbed Wooseok by the collar. His eyes widened in surprise, but she thought, ‘Whatever!’ and pressed her lips to his.

Smack.

Their lips touched and parted. It was just an instant, but to her, it felt like eternity.

Thump thump thump thump.

Eunjae’s heart raced. His eyes darkened. Yes, he must be shocked. He’d probably say she shouldn’t do this, ask what she was thinking. Before he could scold her for drunken antics, Eunjae straightened up.

“See? Today… don’t mess around.”

She threw out her warning and turned away, but suddenly, his hand grabbed hers. Her body swayed as she was pulled toward him, and Wooseok’s face appeared right in front of hers. He looked furious. Did he think she’d be scared? Not at all. Eunjae glared back, then found the situation funny and let out a silly smile.

“You’re laughing?”

Wooseok’s big hand grabbed her cheek.

“Hey.”

“You started it.”

His lips covered hers. His tongue, sticky and sweet, suddenly invaded her mouth. Her small body, unable to keep balance, collapsed into his broad chest. He easily lifted her with his long arms, making her legs dangle. Even then, his fierce tongue kept exploring, relentless. Eunjae felt she might stop breathing.