Rosalyn cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

“I came to find you, Johannes.”

She gently wiped away his tears with her fingers. Still, there was fear in his expression.

“Since the moment you gave me the cloak at the Christmas ball, my feelings for you have never changed.”

“……”

“My actions cannot be justified by such words. But I don’t know how to make up for the pain I’ve caused you. If I could only change the past, I would do anything…”

If she had gotten on that smuggler’s boat with him without looking back when they were living in the port village, the future would have been different. They would have lived peacefully in a place where no one knew them…

But regret is no use now. No matter what she said in front of Johannes, it would only be an excuse. Rosalyn looked at him desperately, hoping that whatever the past, he wouldn’t misunderstand her true feelings.

After a moment of silence, Johannes finally spoke.

“Can you swear that you will never leave me again?”

Rosalyn nodded. Before she could answer, Johannes tilted his head and kissed her. As their lips met, their breaths mingled. Their bodies pressed tightly together, and in the midst of their desperate longing for each other, they couldn’t even tell whose tears touched their cheeks.

It was no different for Johannes. If he could only change the past, he would sacrifice his life to do so. Even if he had to run and hide to the ends of the earth, it would have been far happier than the ten years he spent alone in a luxurious castle.

But in the end, she came back to him.

Rosalyn was no longer the Delmart young lady, distant and unattainable, someone his hands could not touch. She was now his wife and his only lover. This truth overwhelmed him with emotions that were hard to bear.

Rosalyn loved him. That was the only thing that mattered; there were no other thoughts.

***

The northern air was painfully cold at dawn. In the stillness, where the fog had not yet lifted, the sound of the horse’s hooves echoed. As the soldiers finished their preparations, Rosalyn left Johannes’ tent. Having been up most of the night, her eyes were sore.

Before she got into the carriage, Johannes draped the shawl he had taken from his tent around Rosalyn’s neck. It had probably been issued to the soldiers, so the cloth was rough.

It seemed he had used it quite often, for the shawl was covered in down. Made to fit a man’s frame, it was quite long, and as Johannes wrapped it around her, half of Rosalyn’s face was buried in the scarf.

It was warm, but unnecessary as she would be travelling in the carriage. When she started to hand it back to him, Johannes stopped her.

“It’s useless to me anyway, so just wear it.”

At his words, Rosalyn reluctantly dropped her hand. To be honest, it wasn’t so bad having something he used so often in her hands. With a long separation ahead of them, it was a small comfort.

But her mind wandered to the scarf she’d never been able to return to him at Delmart Castle, and she added.

“When you return, I’ll make you a better one.”

The corners of Johannes’s lips rose slightly. Rosalyn’s cheeks flushed a little and she took a step closer to him.

The corners of Johannes’ lips rose slightly. Rosalyn blushed slightly and took a small step closer to him.

“Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll come back safe.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Seeing that his answer was vague, Johannes smiled softly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“If I could, I’d give up the war and go away with you.”

“……”

“That’s how I feel.”

Although they had just reaffirmed their feelings for each other, the reality of having to part again without certainty was hard to accept. Not only Johannes, but also Rosalyn, who would also have to wait anxiously for his return, felt the same way.

“Just like you, I want to put you in the carriage right now, but…”

Fighting back tears, Rosalyn forced a smile.

“If the only way for us to be together is through this war, then please return safely. After the war, we will be together for the rest of our lives.”

Rosalyn reached over and straightened his shirt. Although his outfit was already neat, she fiddled with it absentmindedly. As her hand moved, Johannes slowly looked back at her.

“If it takes longer than expected, will you still wait for me?”

“I’ll wait, even if it takes decades, and I’ll wait with Alex.”

Her answer came without hesitation, but Johannes’ expression became slightly mysterious.

“Did you feel the same way when you were left alone?”

At Johannes’ quiet question, Rosalyn’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean by that?”

“The terrible feeling of loneliness and isolation.”

For a moment Rosalyn was speechless. It was an expression she had never expected to hear from him. But as Johannes had said, it was exactly how she felt every time he left her alone.

“It’s all right now. Because I have you and Alex…”

Suddenly she smiled softly at Johannes.

“And it’s the same for you, Johannes. Even if you’re far away, don’t forget that you have a family waiting for you at home.”

The word ‘family’ pierced Johannes’ heart. It was something he had never had, something he had never experienced in his life. He repeated the unfamiliar words in his mind – wife, children, family. His eyes reddened as he processed them. But before Rosalyn could notice, he turned his head towards McGilroy.

Wife, children, family. A series of unfamiliar words he muttered over and over, his eyes turning red. But before Rosalyn could notice, he avoided her and turned his head towards McGilroy.

“Let’s begin.”

Rosalyn took Johannes’ hand and stepped into the carriage.

It was strange. His hand was unusually cold. Perhaps it was the cold air from the north. As she thought this, Johannes’ face came into view.

His face was pale and fear was evident. Rosalyn could see it clearly. It wasn’t because of the upcoming battle, but because he was worried about Rosalyn’s safety on the long journey back to the mansion.

“Don’t worry.”
Her softly murmured words went unanswered. Slowly, he looked away and stepped back from the carriage. A soldier closed the carriage door.

Not long after, the carriage pulled away and Rosalyn opened the window and leaned her head out.

The cold, rough wind touched her skin. Johannes stayed where he was, watching her. The distance prevented her from seeing the expression on his face.

He showed no movement. He just stood there, watching the carriage drive away until it was out of her sight.

After leaving camp early in the morning, and just as the carriage had crossed a mountain, the sound of cannon fire could be heard from beyond the mountain.

Although the fear still lingered in her heart, it was no longer as overwhelming as the terror she had felt when she first arrived here.

The very fact that she had seen his well-being for herself gave her confidence. She was certain that he would return alive. Just as he had crossed the enemy camp and returned to their own, he would end this war safely and return to her arms whole.

As Rosalyn watched the grey smoke rise from beyond the mountain, she drew her eyes away from the window.

***

After a full season, the seemingly endless war began to take shape. The Imperial Army gained the upper hand, and with its momentum, launched a fierce offensive against the enemy.

The enemy fought desperately, but the Empire’s superiority became clear. As more hopeful news came in, the people of the Empire regained their vitality.

Regardless of the situation outside, Rosalyn lived the same routine every day since her return from the border. She carried out public duties, inspected the lands, and her daily life, which felt like a never-ending cycle, remained unchanged. In contrast, Alex grew rapidly.

The once-so-small child had already begun to crawl on his own and had recently begun to stand on his own two feet. Of course, if his nanny or Rosalyn did not help him, he would often collapse as soon as he stood, but every time Rosalyn witnessed Alex’s growth, it filled her with a sense of wonder.

Rosalyn was not lonely in Alex’s presence. But whenever she thought of Johannes, fighting at the front without seeing her child’s face, a bitter taste remained in her mouth.

As the seasons changed once again, so did the capital.

“You look more beautiful than usual, Your Majesty.”

As Rosalyn admired the interior of the church, lavishly decorated with white flowers, she turned her head in the direction of the voice.

Amelia’s wedding took place in early summer. The princess’s groom was a young prince from a foreign kingdom, about the same age as Amelia. Dressed in a white gown with a long veil on her head, Amelia looked beautiful and fresh. The man standing beside her also had a kindly expression, and to Rosalyn they seemed a perfect couple.

For some reason, her own hasty wedding came to mind, and as she stared at Amelia in silence, a noblewoman approached.

“Mrs Moore, do you have a moment?”