Persephius

The great hall was dark. The blue flames that had been burning on each pillar seemed to be asleep. A cool breeze blew from somewhere. 

It was strange since there were no windows inside. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I took a step inside.

That’s when it happened.

“Do not enter.”

The voice was sharp like a saw blade. The only one in the world who hated me.

“Why shouldn’t I enter? You’re here, aren’t you?”

At that moment, a single light came on. No, that’s not right. It wasn’t that the light turned on. That b*stard had covered the lamp he brought in with a shade. Only now did he remove the cover to reveal the light source.

Minthe was standing in front of Hadeia’s throne. Just like the day we first met. 

But back then, the flowers and trees were all fresh with the scent of dew, and the urns were abundant with fat offerings, whereas now it was completely the opposite. 

Nothing but withered plants everywhere. Rather than offerings to Hadeia, they looked more like an insult. The dried flowers laid on the steps resembled a funeral.

“You have no right to be here. Go back.”

“You have no right to say that either.”

I snorted with disgust and crossed the wide hall toward Hadeia’s throne. Even if she wasn’t present, I couldn’t stand the sight of Minthe lingering in front of it. 

If he wanted to act as the servant, he should have gone looking for her. He wouldn’t be standing there staring at an empty throne for no reason.

Standing by the small lamp, he cast a particularly thin and eerie shadow. His skin, pale as plaster, was practically blue with cold. 

Why? Was he that displeased about me being called “my queen”? 

I didn’t stop walking. The closer I got, the more I could see his calm face distorting with pain and disgust.

“I am a member of the underworld. I am also a member of the palace. But you are neither.”

“So what? It doesn’t matter. I’m going to marry Hadeia anyway.”

“Do not speak her name so casually!”

“Why? Are you going to slander and mock me again? That my clothes are women’s, that even the women of Thebes couldn’t match my skill at braiding hair? Sorry, but that won’t work. I’m a proud man, and I’ve done something to prove it. I saved her.”

I pronounced each word with deliberate emphasis.

“You should show me respect. Not just because I’m Demeter’s son. You know that well.”

Minthe glared at me. The area around his eyes was bluish, looking almost bruised.

“Do you think you mean anything to her?”

There was something strange about him. He had always hated me, but this time was different. 

His voice, which had always been sharp yet with the melodious quality characteristic of nymphs, now had a metallic edge to it, and he had cast aside his pride as the king’s attendant to openly mock me.

“You are nothing. Nothing at all. You can’t even be considered her nephew. The illegitimate children your father has produced are more numerous than grape clusters in a vineyard, and your mother, despite ruling the place closest to the underworld, has never once cared for her. So you have no right to special treatment because of family ties. And now? You don’t even call her aunt anymore. Did you feel so important after receiving her favor for one night? Have you ever thought about how troubled she is that she cannot send you away from the underworld? Of course not. You’re just a selfish rooster who only thinks about himself. Have you ever, even once, respected and accepted her position, her thoughts? You’re ultimately no better than your father, just an arrogant philanderer. Your own desires always come first.”

I frowned. There was no reason for me to be shaken by whatever nonsense he was spouting, but I seemed to detect an emotion other than hatred in his frank attitude and gaze.

“You.”

And the moment I realized it, a fierce anger that I didn’t even know existed within me began to boil over.

“You… Hadeia…!”

Minthe, who had been glaring at me with murderous intent, suddenly averted his eyes. There couldn’t have been more certain evidence.

“Pretending to be noble, pretending to be loyal, but in the end it was jealousy, wasn’t it? I wondered why you hated me so much, but now I understand! You were jealous of me from the moment our eyes met! Because she brought me to the underworld after seeing my appearance, and it was obvious that I was attracted to her too! You’ve been rude to me ever since and openly showed contempt. You were worried that she and I would fall in love. Ha, why did I only realize this now?”

“You always think in such a tediously self-centered way. So childish.”

“Oh really? Then deny it. Tell me you don’t like her.”

“She is my master and the ruler of the underworld. It’s only natural to adore her. What do you know about the underworld, about her?”

“About Hadeia, I know better than anyone else.”

I sneered more than necessary. I didn’t want to mention the love we shared like a child. But the moment I realized he was jealous of me, I too began to hate him unbearably. 

I felt I could do anything if only to hurt him. I wanted to inflict a wound that wouldn’t heal even after a thousand years, a humiliation that would make him bow his head whenever he saw her and was reminded of me.

No, I needed to make sure he could never look at her again. 

Thinking that this man, who had always maintained a docile appearance and earned Hadeia’s trust, had actually harbored the same feelings I had for her throughout the long years made my head feel like it was burning red hot.

Minthe too seemed to understand painfully well what I was implying. No sooner had I finished speaking than a pair of eyes, almost milk-white, pierced into me.

“Really? Are you so confident?”

The sound of madness surging like a tidal wave.

I grew up in a warm flower field where it never even rained. I hadn’t learned to read the signs of typhoons and tsunamis.

“Do you know who Leuce is?”

“Leuce?”

It was a name I had never heard before. The sound of storms rising. The sound of dark clouds gathering and thunder rumbling.

“Yes, Leuce. The only man to whom she ever opened her heart. He was a true man, for whom comparison with a frivolous princess like you would be an insult. He was the opposite of you. With raven-black hair bluer than a crow’s, hair flowing longer than even mine, thick eyebrows, and kind, innocent eyes that were as captivating as labradorite. He was tall with broad shoulders, proudly baring his chest, with a quiver on his back and a scabbard at his waist.”

I saw him. Not the pale, angry fairy before me, but a handsome man with black hair, as tall as myself.

It might have been an illusion. I might have been momentarily swept up in madness from the unexpected shock. 

But Minthe’s words were too detailed and desperately painful to be lies made up on the spot. If I hadn’t heard for myself how miserable his voice was when describing this Leuce, I wouldn’t have paid attention to such nonsense. 

But to drive a man to such self-destructive confession required an anchored truth. I realized it like a flash of lightning.

At this moment, Minthe and I were the same. Not a god’s son and a river’s son, not a lover and a follower. Men who loved one woman. And men who received no reciprocation for that love, nothing more than that.

I knew Minthe’s outcry was evidence. I knew that the unfamiliar man vividly appearing before my eyes, the man who Hadeia had supposedly given her heart to, had really existed. Because Minthe hated him just as much as I did.

Suddenly her voice echoed in my ears. The voice that had curtly replied to me when I had been excited at the thought that I might be her first lover, just as she was mine.

—Don’t talk nonsense. At my age, with all the marriage proposals I receive, how can you say such things!

I thought it couldn’t be true. I thought it didn’t matter. I didn’t want to believe it.

“Leuce was a mortal. He left. Nevertheless, she couldn’t let him go. Do you see that white poplar? That beautiful tree embracing her throne? The mortal youth who loved the goddess of death is right there. That white poplar is the only decoration permitted by someone so strict she wouldn’t even embroider a single stitch on her own clothes. Since his departure, she has never opened her heart to anyone. No one!”

“No.”

Did I say that? It sounded like my voice.

“She never… told me such a story.”

It sounded so foolish that Minthe pressed his forehead and laughed shrilly.

“Didn’t I tell you? That you are nothing to her. Why would she mention a lover to someone who means nothing? It would be an insult to a love that even death couldn’t separate.”

“No. I’m the one she loves now.”

I stammered like a newborn just learning to speak. I struggled to pull out words I myself couldn’t believe.

“She must have forgotten. She didn’t feel the need to tell me.”

“That’s what you want to believe, isn’t it? Poor thing. Then why is she trying to persuade you to return to the surface?”

“She’s… just worried about me. She’s just concerned that my mother will be angry.”

“So did she wish to keep you by her side? Has she ever shown such a desire? In reality, not in your futile fantasies. Did she ever respond with a smile when you courted her so disgracefully like a dog in heat? Are you confident that if you dropped dead today, she would turn you into a flower to keep you by her side? No, you wouldn’t be. Because from the very beginning, she has been trying to send you back. From the very start. You think she brought you to the underworld because she was attracted to your appearance? No! She only heard that you were Demeter’s daughter. How could someone who loved a proud man like Leuce give her heart to a frivolous flower like you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

A roar erupted from the bottom of my chest like a lion.

“Hadeia didn’t reject me. Just now, we kissed. We embraced each other and confirmed our feelings. She wanted me too, said she loved me, what do you know!”

At that moment, Minthe grabbed me by the collar. He was half my weight, so he posed no threat. But he reeked of blood. 

The smell of hatred and blood flowing from a torn heart. The smell of a tragic catastrophe that permeated me as well.

Our eyes met. Minthe screamed with a voice that seemed to be pulled from deep within his gut.

“That means nothing. You are merely a substitute for Leuce!”

I lost my mind.

When I came to my senses, I realized I had done something irreversible.