Chapter 3.5

It was unmistakably love.

But by the time he realized those feelings, it was already too late.

He had already grown accustomed to the kindness he’d never felt before in his life, and he was afraid of losing that warmth.

Yet, he found those feelings so curious, he kept peering into them, kept stirring them up. But honestly, it would be a lie to say it wasn’t a burden.

What a contradictory way to think.

It was a feeling he could never return.

A feeling he shouldn’t return, a feeling he shouldn’t even have…

After realizing that, he began to hope Brienne’s gaze would no longer turn to him. Every time he met those eyes, a guilt-like feeling would rise up, and he couldn’t bear it.

And yet, he still wished for Brienne’s happiness.

Brienne Ford deserved to be happy, wherever she was, in a place beyond his reach.

So why did he think that way? He’d never really considered it. Even knowing it was too much to wish for the happiness of a friend he’d watched for so long, he still felt that way.

So even if he thought about it now, nothing would change, but one thing was certain.

A woman like her did not belong at his side.

He rolled that sentence, which he’d repeated to himself for so long, around in his mouth again. After that meaningless process, as his restless heart slowly began to calm down, it happened.

‘…Right, Herace said he was going to propose to Brienne.’

If it was the Belif Dukedom, it would certainly not be a bad choice for Brienne either.  

‘But then why…….’  

His deep blue eyes dropped with a chilling light. There was a tight, aching pain in his chest. An unknown emotion surged inside him.  

It was a feeling similar to anger.  

‘…….’  

Brienne, and Herace.  

Herace, and Brienne.  

That strange pain grew louder when he thought of them. When he imagined Brienne giving Herace the gentle smile she always showed him……  

‘……Isn’t it really too much of a waste?’  

Wasn’t Brienne far too good for someone like Herace?  

Kaiden let out a sigh, leaning his back against the wall and drumming his fingers on his wine glass. He had to put some kind of reason to this sudden question.  

Yes, it was just like seeing a painting whose colors didn’t match. That uncomfortable feeling in his heart.  

That must be all this was.  

Even if it wasn’t, it definitely had to be.  

“Here you are.”  

As he continued his thoughts, a cheerful voice reached his ear. Melosi had approached before he knew it, looking up at him with a gentle smile. But Kaiden’s gaze did not turn to her face.  

“…The dress.”  

“Oh, how is it? Pretty, right? On second thought, I realized wearing a black dress to the engagement ceremony wasn’t quite right. I sent letters to the bridesmaids, telling them the dresses had changed. Well… If everyone got the message, I’m sure they’ll show up in the right dress.”  

Kaiden’s eyes wavered for a moment. He thought that warning would be enough. At that moment, a cold smile appeared on his face.  

The noisy sounds of the hall suddenly stopped.  

Everyone was looking in one direction.  

Following their gaze, there stood a woman in a white dress.  

Brienne Ford.  

And standing beside her, Herace Belif.  

Only then did Kaiden realize.  

What the name of the feeling he’d been experiencing all this time was.  

* * *

[To Miss Brienne Ford,  

Hello, this is Lusell. By now, you must have arrived in the capital. We have also arrived safely and are staying at an inn near the capital. I sincerely thank Marquis Ford and you, Miss, for your kindness.  

Actually, I am writing because I have some news to share. I happened to witness something, and it seems their base is near the capital. If I find out more, would it be all right to ask for your advice again?  

Then, forgive my boldness, but I look forward to your reply.]  

* * *

The start of that day wasn’t bad.  

While reading a letter from Lusell, the dress she had commissioned from the atelier arrived.  

“My goodness, it’s so beautiful…!”  

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you in a white dress since I started serving you, Miss… Why didn’t we think of this sooner?”  

The young maids gathered around, their eyes sparkling as they looked at Brienne. She shook her head, trying to act indifferent, but she couldn’t hide the blush blooming on both cheeks.  

“You’re exaggerating. If you say things like that, I’ll really think it’s true.”  

“It is true! It’s an honor just to serve such a beautiful lady.”  

“That’s right. So don’t think we’re exaggerating. If you look in the mirror, you’ll understand how we feel.”  

Marie, speaking confidently, rolled over a large mirror on wheels. The moment Brienne faced herself in the mirror, she realized the maids’ words weren’t so exaggerated after all.  

“Truly……”  

It was a dazzlingly beautiful dress. It was almost a shame that the place she’d be wearing it was Kaiden’s engagement ceremony.  

“Do you like it? I can’t tell you how much effort I put in when I heard you’d be the star of the engagement. Miss, you’ll be much, much more beautiful than that woman.”  

Madam Rosie, who had come up beside Brienne as she stared at the mirror in a daze, smiled with satisfaction.  

As always, Madam Rosie maintained the understated design Brienne preferred, but poured all her skill into the details, like the frills, to highlight her beauty.  

This time, instead of puffing out the skirt, she let it fall softly along Brienne’s figure, emphasizing her tall height.  

“Yes, I like it……”  

So, there was no way she couldn’t like it. Brienne stroked the hem of the dress with a satisfied expression. The not-too-thick fabric felt so soft in her hands.  

“But really… Is it all right?”  

But only for a moment—she couldn’t help but wonder if it was too much. Brienne looked anxiously at the maids.  

The faces of the young maids, who had been so excited, turned stiff. That was true for cheerful Marie, and even for smiling designer Madam Rosie.  

“Miss, I guarantee you, you’re the only one who would think a dress that comes up to your neck is too much.”  

At Madam Rosie’s words, the maids, who had been watching, began to chime in one by one.  

“That’s right. Honestly, I feel like cutting the dress down to your shoulders… no, even your chest!”  

“I agree. Don’t you think you’ve been too covered up until now?”  

With their enthusiastic comments, Brienne found it hard to say anything more. To keep denying it here would be to insult Madam Rosie’s taste, when she ran the best atelier in the capital.  

Instead, Brienne turned her gaze to Madame Ford, who was sitting on the other side of the room, watching her fondly. Olivia nodded as if to say she understood her daughter’s feelings.  

“It’s understandable that you’re worried, considering who the other party is. But if you’re really going to put the past behind you, don’t you think you should show this side of yourself at least once?”  

“Mother, it’s not about showing off…”  

“Brie, you’ve changed a lot in just a week. Your expression is brighter, and you finally look like a girl your age. I hope you can live like a young lady, not just someone buried in books waiting for Young Master Bannon, my daughter.”  

Hearing those words, Rosie nodded. Marie, whose eyes had grown moist, and the other maids all looked at Brienne as if agreeing with the Madam.  

“…Really. How have you all been seeing me until now?”  

Brienne grumbled, embarrassed, but let out a light laugh. Even so, she didn’t deny her mother’s words.  

“All right, let’s get ready! Miss, please sit at the dressing table.”  

Marie, quickly regaining her smile, led Brienne to the vanity. Another maid opened the jewelry box.  

“What kind of hairpiece would you like? Flowers would go well with a white dress, right?”  

“What do you mean? It has to be gold. Right, Miss?”  

While the opinionated maids chatted, Brienne just stared at the jewelry box. She hadn’t even thought about accessories. Somehow, they were all gifts from Kaiden.  

‘It can’t be helped.’  

Brienne pointed with her finger at the blue-jeweled flower ornament. It was her favorite hairpin.  

“I’ll use this as the main piece. For the rest, do whatever you want.”  

“Really?!”  

“Great! Leave it to us!”  

After that, there was a whirlwind of busy preparations. This is better, that is better. The maids argued, but never forgot their main purpose: to make Brienne beautiful.  

By the time they’d let her hair down, curled it, and applied scented oil, even Madame Ford and Rosie were drinking tea and offering their own opinions.