Chapter 2

“…So Seoyun, you must have thought things over in many ways too, but what are you planning to do from now on?”

“Pardon? What did you say?”

Even in the brief moment her attention drifted to Harin, Changseok had gone on talking the whole time. Even as she asked him to repeat himself, Seoyun’s mind was unsettled.

Why had Harin come here? She was still as pretty and dazzling as a doll. Perfectly suited to be Ijun’s fiancée.

Seoyun was in no position to envy her, so she could not even feel jealous. She could only admire her from afar. Like doing nothing more than imagining the end of a rainbow where gold was said to lie buried.

She had held Ijun in her heart for a long time, but if the two of them were to marry, then that feeling would truly have to be buried deep.

“You know how I feel too, but seeing you and that young boy Jiho living together in some attic room like a storage shed. It pains me so much.”

“Yes…. Still, we manage somehow.”

“That kid Jiho is smart too, and tuition must cost a lot. Back when Big Brother was alive, he even said he’d send him abroad to study, and the more I think about it, the more upset I get….”

Seoyun stared quietly at Changseok. She wondered what on earth he was trying to say.

When Seoyun, who had been living with her biological father, came to the house of Jeonghun, her stepfather, following her divorced mother, Changseok had only just become an assistant manager in the technology development team at Jeonghun’s company. Jeonghun praised him every day, saying he was sharp at work and easygoing by nature. Since Changseok’s family home was in the provinces and he lived alone in Seoul, Jeonghun would often bring him home to eat with them.

Had he been twenty-eight back then? To ten-year-old Seoyun, Changseok had been old enough to be an uncle. In fact, in private he had even called Jeonghun, who was the company president, “big brother,” and Jeonghun had treated Changseok like a youngest brother.

Not long after Jeonghun’s company began to fail, Changseok, who had become a department head, moved to Sehan Battery, a rival company. It was not that she had not resented him, but neither could she ask him to sink together with a place that had no hope left.

Seeing Seoyun sitting there silently with both hands folded, Changseok cleared his throat. “Ahem.”

“Seoyun. Haven’t I watched you grow up since you were little? And now you’re old enough too. So what I mean is. Well, my Hojun and Homin have already been without their mother for three years now, and I feel so bad for the children. At their age, they still need a mother, don’t they.”

“…….”

“And you’re lonely too, so wouldn’t it be nice to live in a bustling household with family around you. You’d have people to rely on. And though I may not look it, I’ve actually saved up quite a bit of wealth. Once Jiho graduates from college, I could even send him abroad to study. Even if I want to help you and Jiho for the sake of Brother Jeonghun, there has to be a proper reason for it, wouldn’t you say.”

Seoyun lowered her eyes. Only now did she think she understood what Changseok had really wanted to say.

Changseok was a man who had lost his wife in an accident three years ago and was raising two sons in elementary school.

Just as he said, the children were at an age when they still very much needed a mother’s care. But she had never imagined he would think of placing Seoyun, who was young enough to be like a niece to him and had never given birth, into that position.

When Seoyun gave no answer at all, Changseok gulped down the iced Americano in front of him. Perhaps he was embarrassed; he looked like his insides were burning.

“Well, yes. There is a bit of an age difference between us. But a woman is treasured when she lives with a solid, dependable man who’s older than her. If you meet boys your own age, they’re all the same. Would they be mature? Would they have any money saved? You’ve known me for a long time, so you’re comfortable with me too. Well, if I put my mind to it, I could meet as many women as I want who are good at running a household and raising children. Still, it’s because I feel for you that I’m saying this. As for housework and childcare, you learn little by little as you go.”

Seoyun slowly lifted the gaze she had kept lowered on the table the whole time. Only then did Changseok’s flushed red face come into view. Still, she thought it was a relief, even now, that at least he seemed to know enough to feel ashamed.

Perhaps deciding to take Seoyun’s silence as a positive sign, Changseok leaned in closer across the table and ran his tongue over his lips.

“You still haven’t sorted out all your debt yet, have you.”

“Debt…?”

“Yes. And until Jiho gets settled later on, I could help with that too. Anyway, just think about Jiho’s future. Doesn’t that boy Jiho have an exceptional mind? I could support him as much as he wants to study, and you could live a stable and comfortable life too. Life isn’t all that complicated. Peace of mind is what matters most.”

When Changseok first contacted her, Seoyun had thought she might be able to borrow some money from him. That was why she had gone out of her way to come all the way here and sit down with him.

Never imagining she would receive this kind of proposal.

She did not even feel sorrowful. She did not have the luxury to feel insulted by the shameless remarriage proposal offered by a man she had known like an uncle.

Everything she had told Changseok about getting by had been a lie.

Her experience working as a secretary at her father’s company was practically worthless. The doors to employment were narrow, and even when she took several part-time jobs at once and thought she might finally be able to breathe a little, creditors she had never even known existed would suddenly appear.

Even so, she could not place that burden on Jiho, her younger brother, who was only in college now.

Seoyun was exhausted to the bone. The choice itself felt meaningless. No, she had no choices she could actually make.

Seoyun blinked slowly. Changseok’s greedy gaze swept over the finely arranged features on her wax-pale face, and her gentle-looking eyes. Her long, slender neckline and softly rounded shoulders. The delicate curves of her figure beneath her neat blouse. Changseok swallowed hard.

Seoyun had been hesitating for a long while and was just about to part her lips to speak. Then a man strode past beside them. All of Seoyun’s movements stopped at once.

The mind that had felt hazy as if in a dream until just now turned cold, and it felt as though all her senses sharpened.

‘Cha Ijun!’

Seoyun cried out inwardly.

It was Cha Ijun. A man she rarely had the chance to see, and yet one who had always remained vividly alive within her.

Was he the kind of person who came to a café like this too? Had he come with Harin, who had gone out earlier? But then why had he sent Harin away alone, and why was he only leaving now?

Seoyun, who had not felt a single question toward Go Changseok, was flooded with countless questions in the instant she saw Ijun.

It felt as though a soft drizzle were falling onto a heart that had been dried out and parched.

“If you’ve given it some thought too…. Well, what was it. You, you’ve never stayed at a hotel like this before, right? Um…. I think it might be nice if we went up to one of the rooms above and spent some time getting a little closer…….”

“About what you said…. I’ll think about it and contact you.”

“R-right. You need time to think too. Then.”

At Seoyun’s quiet reply, his eyes, feverish with murky heat, lost their direction and wavered here and there. Changseok smacked his lips, looking disappointed.

“Then I’ll get going first.”

Seoyun rose from her seat just like that and walked out of the café. She did not even look back at Changseok, left behind where he was. It felt as if she were possessed by something. Or perhaps she had simply been driven to desperation.

Today, Seoyun understood with certainty. She would never, ever live the life she had dreamed of. The bottom to which she had sunk was too deep for her to go on living with hope.

‘So…. So, what does it matter what I do right now or how I do it? Nothing is going to change anyway.’

After stepping out of the café, Seoyun turned her head this way and that. Across the hotel lobby, she saw the back of a tall man on the far side.

From the broad, straight shoulders and the suit jacket falling perfectly over his lean waist, to his solid thighs and the long legs stretching down to his straight-tip shoes.

It was his back, recognizable at a glance.

Without hesitation, Seoyun started walking toward him.

***

The bar in the hotel basement was quiet. Under the dim lighting, sticky and gloomy jazz drifted through the air.

Seoyun took a seat on a bar stool, leaving a suitable distance between herself and Ijun, who was already seated there. It was her first time coming to a place like this, but at this point, there was nothing left for her to hold back over.

“What can I get for you?”

The bartender, dressed in a white shirt and black vest, asked in a low voice. Seoyun cast a sideways glance at Ijun. He already had a whole bottle of whiskey set before him, and was tilting a glass filled with ice.

The way he lifted the glass with languid movements and brought it to his lips made him look deeply worn out. What could have made him wear such a hollow expression?

Seoyun was curious.