Liana remembered the burning red glow of the harbor. She couldn’t forget the acrid smell of smoke that had filled her lungs.

“When you’re lost in your darkest night, I’ll be there.”

That single line kept echoing in her mind, refusing to go away.

Liana looked at the man sitting opposite her at the table. Everything about him felt utterly unfamiliar: his cold eyes; his hair, black as midnight; his elegant shirt and immaculately pressed trousers; his black leather shoes, polished until they gleamed and not a speck of dust remained.

He was a nobleman, flawless in every way. He was arrogant and certain that he could do whatever he pleased. He had the kind of authority that made kindness or consideration entirely unnecessary.

He was nothing like the slave boy she had once known.

And yet—

“When you’re lost in your darkest night, I’ll be by your side, my lady.”

Why did his voice remind you of that old promise? Do you remember it, too? Is that time still inside you somewhere, beneath all the changes?

Liana recalled the rough yet gentle hand that would pull her out of nightmares in the middle of the night. As a child, she often had bad dreams. Nights suffocated by fear, insomnia pressing down on her chest. But when his fingers brushed her hair, every nightmare and all the terror would fade away, allowing her to finally sleep without fear.

Now, however, he had become the nightmare himself, dragging her down into the mire.

Liana bit her lip. The words she had swallowed for years rose up and burned in her throat.

‘The day I left you behind, all I really wanted was to protect you with everything I had. The cruel words I hurled at you—they weren’t true. They were selfish lies. If I hadn’t said them, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go. I would have come running back to you, cursed as I was, begging you to save me from my own nightmare. So… I lied to you.’

But those same passionate and desperate words now felt heavy and burdensome.

For her, honesty was a sin.

If honesty is an angel’s virtue, then lying is a demon’s. A demon’s sincere confession only spreads the curse further. Heresy is a rebellious crime that spreads like a plague.

Anyone implicated in rebellion is treated as a criminal and receives the same punishment, even if they are innocent.

To prevent the plague from spreading, she had to seal away the terrible sickness with silence. So she swallowed those leaden truths again and again, burying them deep inside her heart.

Even when it left her feeling weighed down, suffocated and in pain, there was nothing she could do. It was the sinner’s burden to bear. This was why she’d tried to run away. Swallowing those lumps of lead every day was agony. Going to Indiana would mean having to swallow even more.

‘I’d barely managed to bury them…’

All those memories she’d struggled for eight years to leave behind. Shed Lester had come and dug them up, scattering them everywhere.

At that moment, a knock broke the stifling air between them. Only then did it feel like she could breathe again.

“Your Grace, dinner is ready.”

It was Werner’s voice.

“Come in.”

At Shed’s permission, Werner and the maids entered, bringing in the meal and laying it out on the table in the bedroom.

Once they had finished, they quietly withdrew. When Werner finally closed the door behind him, Liana felt as if she were locked in a secret room all over again.

Shed, seated some distance away at the table, turned his gaze back to Liana.

“Sit.”

He nodded toward the chair across from him with a jerk of his chin.

When Liana hesitated, his brow furrowed in irritation.

“I’ll say it again: I don’t like repeating myself.”

This time, his warning was low and final. Liana lowered her head and walked to the chair as ordered, sitting down awkwardly, as if the seat were covered in thorns.

On the table, the maids had left a simple meal: tomato soup, bread, pickled turnips, and roasted vegetables.

For a duke’s supper, it was a humble spread, but the dishes were still warm, fresh from the kitchen, and looked inviting.

To her embarrassment, Liana realized just then that she was hungry. She hadn’t eaten since the night before last—just a cheap mug of beer at a tavern yesterday evening.

She’d been walking, running, and sleepless ever since, and the scent of food now twisted her empty stomach painfully.

“Eat.”

Shed spoke flatly.

He looked as if he’d never planned to eat himself, sitting back with his arms folded and legs crossed, watching her from across the table like a detached observer.

‘He wants… me to eat this?’

She’d heard his command, but Liana still couldn’t bring herself to pick up the spoon. She just sat there, frozen.

Shed’s eyes narrowed even further.

“If I have to say it twice—”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

She cut him off, her voice trembling, just as he was about to snap.

She simply couldn’t understand Shed Lester. He looked at her with eyes full of hatred, but his actions left room for kindness, always sending confusing signals.

Liana would have preferred if he simply cursed at her, hated her, and treated her with open contempt. But instead, even as he spat out curses, he’d reach out with a touch that still carried traces of warmth.

“Why do you— Why do you act kindly to me when you claim to hate me…?”

“Shed rose from his seat, cutting her off.

“Liana Serpens.”

He spoke her name.

“Have you still not adjusted?”

“What…?”

“You need to remember your place.”

She ran a hand through her hair impatiently.

A maid had no right to question, wonder or object. A duke owed his maid no explanations, reasons or opportunities to object to an order. The only thing permitted was obedience.

“Even if that soup is poisoned, if I tell you to eat it, you must eat it.”

With a sudden, sharp bang, Shed struck the table. The dishes rattled at the impact.

Liana swallowed hard. A heavy ache pressed down on her chest, making her forget her hunger entirely.

As a maid, however, she had no choice but to obey. With trembling hands, she picked up the spoon and took a mouthful of soup. She couldn’t taste anything, nor could she discern any flavour on her tongue. The smooth soup felt rough against the inside of her mouth, like grains of sand.

“Swallow.”

When Liana just sat there, holding the soup in her mouth, Shed spoke flatly.

With a tight, stifling sensation in her throat, she forced herself to swallow the tomato soup. It felt as if a piece of tomato had got stuck halfway down her oesophagus.

Once she had swallowed, she quickly set the spoon aside and tried to stand up, but Shed’s large hand clamped down on her shoulder, forcing her back into her seat.

“Eat! Until I tell you to stop.’

Liana opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it and fell silent. She picked up the spoon and fork again and obeyed.

Although it was just a simple one-plate meal, to her it looked as daunting as a full banquet. No matter how much she ate, the soup seemed never-ending. The pickled turnips and roasted vegetables looked like an entire field had been served to her.

She forced the food down, waiting for Shed to tell her it was OK to stop.

He sat a short distance away, watching her closely. Her fork moved slowly. She chewed each tiny piece of bread as if it took an eternity — almost as if she were staging a protest.

She must have been starving.

Ever since she’d met him, she hadn’t been able to eat anything. Perhaps she’d been living on nothing even before that. Yet, as if the food he gave her were garbage and he were torturing her, she pushed it around her plate, looking disgusted.

He couldn’t fathom what was going on in her mind. There was a time when he could see right through her heart. A time when her thoughts were as clear and open as a lake, with nothing hidden beneath the surface.

But now, everything had become hazy and shrouded in fog. He couldn’t read her at all. What was she thinking? What did she want?

Perhaps that was why, even though she was sitting right in front of him, he felt that if he blinked, she would disappear. If he reached out to her, she would evaporate like smoke, slipping through his fingers.

‘What am I supposed to do with you? What will it take to make this anxiety disappear for good?’

He hadn’t slept a wink since yesterday, but his mind was burning, refusing to rest. His heart raced like he’d taken some kind of stimulant, but his head ached, pounding with pain.

‘Will this suffocating anxiety finally end if I just kill you?’
‘No, that’s not it.’
‘That would be too easy. That would be unfair.’
‘Dying is simple. Dying is peaceful.’

She knew only too well that life itself could be a far crueller punishment than death. Perhaps death was the only salvation the gods had ever granted humanity.

Human beings clawed their way through the hell of life, desperately chasing death’s release.

But he couldn’t simply give her that blessing so easily.

Even now, she stood before him with a face etched with hopelessness, as though she were trapped in hell.

Seeing that expression filled him with anger. She drained his glass in one go. He put it down sharply and irritably, at the same time as his gaze fell on Liana’s legs beneath the table. Peeking out from under the hem of her dark dress, he caught a glimpse of her calf.

Lost in thought, he fell silent, then stood up abruptly and drew his sword. The sudden movement made Liana look up in surprise.

Moving absolutely silently like a beast, he crossed the room towards her.

In an instant, the cold blade of his sword was pressing against her ankle. The icy touch made Liana flinch. The silvery edge traced a slow line up the gentle curve of her leg, leaving a trail of chill in its wake. The skirt that had covered her calf snagged on the tip of the sword and was slowly lifted.

And then—

“It’s gone.”

He murmured, almost to himself, his violet eyes fixed on her pale calf.