After the Crown Prince’s party left, the castle seemed buried deep in snow. Watching the endlessly falling snow, Etia felt like she was inside a cave.

Boring days repeated themselves until the busy times felt like ancient history. All she did was sit by the window reading books, admiring the falling snow, or wandering the vast castle for walks. 

Having completed winter preparations without a hitch while the Crown Prince’s party was there, she had nothing more to worry about, making her daily life even more monotonous.

Yet strangely, she felt bored. Normally Etia should have preferred this kind of life, but after the inspection party returned, she felt stifled somehow. Though these were the quiet, peaceful days she’d wanted so badly, she didn’t feel comfortable at all.

And Etia guessed the reason definitely involved her husband, Derek.

Since that day, Derek hadn’t brought up divorce at all. Another move that didn’t match Etia’s expectation that he’d proceed immediately once the Crown Prince’s party left.

He remained endlessly busy even during this winter when everyone else rested. 

Various construction projects to begin in spring, matters concerning the Land of Fire that couldn’t be neglected even in winter, and preparations for monster invasions after hibernation. 

The meetings and work he conducted daily were beyond her comprehension.

Perhaps because of that, Derek still slept in his study or the guest room. Though Mary asked nothing after that day, Etia guessed she knew everything from Derek’s attitude. She could tell just from the looks Mary occasionally sent her way.

“Haah…”

For these reasons, Etia’s sighing days increased. She had nothing more she could do and could only wait with burning insides until Derek demanded divorce. 

Even trying to investigate various things through the lawyer yielded little, making it worse. Divorce initiated by the man first held nothing but disadvantages for the woman.

Yet Etia thought following the lawyer’s advice to fulfill her duchess duties was also wrong. Especially remembering how she’d shamelessly gotten drunk and thrown a tantrum that day. 

After pulling such a stunt, Etia lacked the courage to brazenly drag the man to bed again. She dismissed even the strange feeling she’d experienced the day the Crown Prince left as merely seasonal.

“My lady. How about taking a walk?”

Etia, who’d been spending much time in a daze lately, today also barely left her room, lost in deepening worries. Perhaps seeing this, Mary, who’d been taking care of various things, finally carefully suggested Etia go outside.

“I’ve already toured the entire castle, so I’m not inclined.”

“Go outside the castle. It’s cold, but if you dress warmly, going out briefly should be fine.”

“Mm…”

“I’m worried seeing you so down. I think getting some fresh air would be good.”

“But I don’t know the geography outside the castle well…”

Normally she would have firmly refused such a suggestion, but Mary looked at her so worriedly that Etia began wavering. Not so much because of the cold weather, but because she was reluctant to go outside the castle.

Come to think of it, Etia had barely left the castle since coming to the North. Being alone in a foreign land, she had few familiar and comfortable places, and the castle was all she felt at ease in, making it even more so.

She’d studied Sylvester Territory as a duchess, but that was purely knowledge—her sense of reality was lacking. That’s why even after two years, Sylvester Territory remained so unfamiliar she could barely go for walks.

“Truly a duchess who only occupies the position.”

Etia fell into thought looking out the snow-covered window. Going outside the castle with maids and guards wouldn’t be difficult, but the fact that the land she’d lived on for years still felt difficult made her pensive.

She was a duchess in name only anyway, so she needn’t feel sorry to this land’s residents. Moreover, if she divorced Derek, this place would become even more unrelated to her. 

Even if she asked the territorial residents or castle servants, she was confident they wouldn’t criticize her for being ignorant of this land because she was nobility.

Nevertheless, Etia felt uneasy. Because she’d learned that Sylvester Territory, which her father hated so much, was just a place where ordinary people gathered to live ordinary days. Even knowing her father’s attitude wasn’t her fault.

If before she hadn’t ventured out because this land was unfamiliar, Etia now wondered what position she should take. Moreover, if she didn’t divorce him, the story changed even more. If she continued married life with Derek, what should she do? 

Etia felt troubled.

“I can’t do anything anyway.”

But no matter how much Etia worried, managing the territory wasn’t a woman’s role. For Etia, who’d become duchess, the most crucial duty was producing an heir, and next was managing the castle as mistress. 

Derek, not Etia, was the one who needed to work harder for the territory to prosper. If that were the case, Etia’s father would have given her heir education instead of making her take bridal lessons.

Though she clearly knew this, Etia felt bad that this was the conclusion after earnest deliberation.

“Then let’s go together.”

Her head was complicated. Etia just hoped the cold wind would blow away all these worries.

* * *

Sylvester Territory, already in winter, showed desolate scenery everywhere. Though inns and restaurants operated occasionally, seeing the empty central square made Etia feel somewhat disappointed.

“If I’d known, I should have joined you during the inspection with His Highness the Crown Prince.”

“No. I’d just be in the way while you two worked.”

But more than that, Etia found it somewhat strange to be touring this place with none other than Derek.

She’d only meant to inform him she’d go for a walk outside the castle, yet Derek volunteered to accompany Etia. His reason was that something dangerous might happen, but to Etia it wasn’t an appropriate reason. If he was that worried, he could just assign more guards.

However, Etia didn’t bother questioning it and came down to the village with him. The awkward atmosphere remained the same even after arriving at the village center and getting off the carriage.

Walking with him, Etia suddenly recalled the day she’d come up to the territory after the ceremony. She also thought the scenery seemed somewhat changed in between.

“That’s not true.”

While slowly walking and recalling the past, Derek answered very belatedly. The answer came so late that Etia had to briefly retrace what conversation they’d just had. 

Finally remembering what she’d said, Etia looked up at him at his lowered voice. She saw his somewhat stiffened face.

“It may not be much to your liking. It’s not comparable to the South or the capital.”

She’d just joined in what Derek was saying, yet the reaction wasn’t good. When Etia didn’t understand why Derek wore that expression, he changed the subject, pretending nothing was wrong. Etia followed behind Derek, who walked forward again, and said:

“That’s not true.”

The same answer as Derek’s.

“I should have come a bit earlier. Like a fool, I stayed only in the castle every day and missed good scenery. When I had so much time.”

Like Derek, Etia also continued talking, pretending nothing was wrong. Then conversely, Derek looked at Etia this time. Though Etia felt that gaze, she pretended not to notice and moved her steps facing only forward.

At her answer, Derek suddenly reflected on himself after returning from the campaign. Days so busy anyone would think he was obsessed with work. Was Etia among that? A question whose answer was obvious without asking.

Derek frowned slightly and spoke toward Etia.

“I should have brought you here sooner. I was too neglectful using busyness as an excuse. I’m sorry.”

“You already apologized before. I’m really fine, so don’t worry about it. I’m not someone who likes going out much anyway.”

Etia didn’t know what thoughts or emotions Derek had when saying such things, but she just went along with what he said.

In truth, she didn’t much care whether he’d been neglectful because he was busy or deliberately did so because he disliked her. Such things required some affection as a foundation, or if not affection, at least familiarity as a foundation to feel disappointed or hurt.

So Etia didn’t pay much mind to Derek’s apology. Though perhaps “didn’t accept it” was a more accurate expression than “didn’t pay mind.”

“When next spring comes—”

“…”

“…Never mind.”

However, Etia began feeling bad at Derek’s following words. That statement not promising the future angered Etia more than his saying he’d been busy. He even obviously changed the subject. Without realizing it, Etia stopped walking and looked up at him.

“When the next spring comes?”

“…”

“Will you bring me to the village again?”

Etia brought up the story he couldn’t finish. Then Derek frowned and turned his head away. His reaction made Etia’s mood sink even lower.

“Let’s go back. It’s cold.”

Etia silently looked at Derek, who gave no answer, then finally turned around first, like raising a white flag. She felt Derek slowly following behind her, but even that sound grated on her nerves.

Derek didn’t mention divorce first yet didn’t look toward a distant future. 

Though she’d admittedly made mistakes while drunk that day, Etia thought she’d shown him her position to some degree. It was also true that divorce scared her more because she still lacked confidence to endure others’ pointing fingers.

Yet this man kept planting only anxiety about divorce while not actually saying with his own mouth “let’s divorce.” 

That behavior only made Etia more anxious and frustrated.

What on earth did this man want?

“Watch your step.”

While alone swallowing her frustration as stuffiness turned to irritation, Derek gently lifted Etia’s right hand. Etia’s gaze slowly moved from her hand to his face.

“It’s slippery from the snow.”

Then their eyes briefly met and parted.

Somehow the anger from moments ago instantly subsided. Just the faint warmth touching her hand made Etia’s whole body feel tingly. Though she’d held hands with him several times while being escorted, it felt truly strange.

At his words about it being slippery, Etia felt confused, not letting go of the held hand yet feeling irritation simultaneously. Though they’d just come out for a walk together, too many things troubled Etia.

And one of them being the warmth transmitted through their hands made Etia even more flustered.

Neither of them said anything in the carriage returning to the castle. But more than that silent atmosphere, Etia thought taking his offered hand when getting off the carriage felt more torturous.