Chapter 9

Erelia quietly watched Carlisle lying next to her.

His appearance, eyes closed and panting as if completely exhausted, seemed unbearably cute and lovely. If others heard this, they’d think she was out of her mind. But they hadn’t slept with Carlisle – or more accurately, they hadn’t ravished him – so they didn’t know.

She carefully stroked his hair so as not to make him uncomfortable. The soft sensation slipping through her fingers felt nice. After lightly kissing his forehead, she noticed his reddened eyes.

‘Was I too much….’

Erelia always thought belatedly after s*x was over. Because of the tears he shed throughout, his eyes were swollen and his cheeks were wet with tear stains, making him look like someone who had suffered unspeakable things. 

It’s not wrong, but… he keeps accepting me because it feels good, right?

The Duke could bury something like this without a trace.

Of course, just because she had these thoughts didn’t mean she would change her perverted mindset and actions. It was just concern born out of love.

Her gaze moved past his face down to his body. His body condition was no different. If anything, it was worse, never less. His body was covered in all sorts of lewd fluids he spilled, the congestion and bite marks she left. Going further down, even the slightly swollen back hole and perineum that had been mercilessly violated. It was remarkable how he quickly recovered his condition after being in such a state. Anyone else would have been bedridden for an entire day.

Of course, that didn’t mean his body was entirely unburdened. Erelia got up from her seat, intending to clean him up a bit before he woke up. Even if they properly washed later, it seemed necessary to wipe him down immediately as he was thoroughly soaked in various fluids.

She thought to bring a towel and some warm water from the bathroom. Just as she was about to move, something pulled at her hand.

“Don’t go….”

“Carlisle?”

He forced his tired eyelids open and muttered in a pained voice. His throat was sore and cracked, causing him to unconsciously frown slightly. The sore eyes added to his discomfort. His body was in a terrible state.

“I was just going to clean you up for a moment.”

“It’s fine, just stay by my side….”

“But….”

Even a cursory glance showed his terrible state. Of course, he looked incredibly sexy, and even his defenseless appearance was adorably lovely. But she knew he’d suffer more if she didn’t clean him up a bit right now. She was a pervert who engaged in violent s*x, but she wasn’t trash who ignored her partner afterward. At least not with him.

“I’ll be right back. Get some rest.”

In the end, Erelia gently patted him and removed her hand. Of course, she also wanted to stay by his side, but it would only be for a brief moment. She should return quickly.

Since the bathroom was connected to his room, it didn’t take long. Erelia brought back warm water and a soft towel. Her steps were light and brisk. 

I might have been well-suited to work as Carlisle’s maid… taking care of his clothes every day, attending to his baths, watching over his daily life….

For reference, Carlisle doesn’t receive help with dressing or bathing. He finds it convenient to do it himself. However, after sleeping with Erelia, he was always in a state of complete exhaustion, he had no choice but to let her take care of him each time.

Returning to the bedroom, she found him asleep again. His defenseless body, not even wearing a single piece of clothing, and his harmlessly relaxed eyes caught her attention. 

I want to be the only one to see this. 

Though such a sight was already reserved for her alone now. Even when asleep, he was always thorough. Unless she had exhausted him during s*x.

Erelia dampened the towel and wiped down his messy body. She softly caressed the tender flesh on the inside of his thighs, moving up his legs. When she reached the sensitively swollen hole that had taken a lot, his sleeping body flinched.

She meticulously cleaned between the ridges of his well-defined abs where thick liquid had pooled, and wiped down the various red marks left on his body. She carefully wiped his tear-streaked eyes with water-dampened hands. It struck her anew how much she had drawn out from him.

‘I hope he doesn’t get dehydrated.’

She knew he had a strong body, but seeing him pass out as if fainting after s*x gave her different feelings. After all, she never saw him so disheveled at other times. Since he had never shown his limits, it was natural to worry about how far those limits extended.

I should make sure he can drink some water when he wakes up. 

Erelia carefully left the room, not wanting to wake him. Today, they had met earlier than usual, and it was still early evening, too soon to sleep until morning. He would likely wake up midway.

She felt a bit guilty, realizing anew that they had started abruptly in broad daylight. But she couldn’t help it….

Women are such creatures.

She could call a servant, but then Carlisle’s appearance would be seen. She decided to personally bring him something to drink. Not that she needed to feed him, but she thought with a slight ulterior motive.

As she headed towards the dining area, she turned the corner and ran into someone.

“Lady Sionel?”

“Ah….”

Erelia looked up in surprise at the sudden appearance. The man who had spoken to her at the last ball—the day she first came to Carlisle’s estate. She froze, seemingly flustered by the unexpected encounter.

The man also seemed quite surprised. 

Why had he suddenly appeared here? Since he was from the Knights’ Order, was it Knights’ Order business?

After a brief shock, he soon greeted her with a graceful smile.

“Hello, Lady. We meet again here.”

“Yes, hello.”

“Let me formally introduce myself. I am Sir Felix Carter, Vice Commander of the Imperial Knights.”

So he was the Vice Commander. 

Erelia forced a natural smile and received his greeting. But why was he greeting her? If he had business with Carlisle, he could have just passed by her. A formal introduction seemed excessive at this point.

“I had something to deliver to the Commander, but since you are here, I shall come back another time.”

Why though?

“Um, the Duke is….”

“Oh, you don’t need to say anything.”

Why…?

This man, no, Sir Felix, smiled warmly as if he knew everything. The surprise from their earlier encounter had vanished, and he acted as if her presence here was natural.

“But what brings you out here, Lady?”

Not why she was there?

The more he spoke, the more confused she became. Even his demeanor was subtly different from when they last spoke. His straightforward personality remained unchanged. Previously, it felt like he was interacting with someone of a similar age, but now he was more polite and business-like….

“That’s enough.”

“Ah, Commander.”

“Carlisle?”

A familiar voice cut through her thoughts. Carlisle, who had appeared behind her without her noticing, stood before him. 

Was it okay for him to be out already? 

His body must still be in a terrible state. Her trivial doubts vanished, replaced by concern for him. After all, he was facing not a servant but someone from the Knights’ Order.

“I told you to send it in writing.”

He looked quite displeased. His cold expression and furrowed brow added to his sharpness. The fatigue on his face, unlike usual, made him seem even more irritable. His voice was low and threatening. It was a scene that would make a timid person immediately tuck their tail and run away.

Erelia watched him with anxious eyes. His tired face was likely because of her, and his hoarse voice was probably due to moaning all night. His frown was a habit that appeared the morning after spending the night together. Even his eyes still showed traces of tears. His body was probably covered in her marks under those clothes.

In short, he was likely uncomfortable everywhere due to the aftermath of s*x. Well, it’s because he’s special that he can get up and move around right after such an ordeal.

Whether Felix knew the circumstances or had known him for a long time, he answered without a hint of fear, smiling calmly.

“I thought this was something that shouldn’t be entrusted to someone else. But the timing wasn’t good. I shall return another time.”

“Did you not hear me say to send it in writing?”

“I’ll see you next time.”

Even after doing everything as asked, he’s still prickly. 

The man quickly left before Carlisle could say more. Once they were alone, Carlisle took her hand and swiftly turned back towards the room. This time, he truly seemed displeased.

The sound of the door slamming shut was heard. The energy he was exuding was unusual.  

Was he angry? Why all of a sudden? 

His expression was sexy. Erelia shamelessly entertained irreverent thoughts while observing him. His eyes, sharp as a cold wind, glared at her.

“You sleep with me and then go off to talk with another man.”

“What?”

“Can you not even stay by my side for a moment?”

Erelia stared at him blankly, momentarily dumbfounded. Though he spoke with a scary expression, the content was akin to a lover’s complaint. 

Was he upset because we had s*x and I didn’t stay by his side? Carlisle?

“Are you sulking?”

Erelia eventually blurted out.

“…That’s not it.”

Realizing what he was saying, his demeanor softened. As he bit his lip in an attempt to calm down, instead of anger, a wave of sorrow washed over him. He had been trying not to show it, but his lower abdomen was still aching. If he relaxed even a little, his legs might tremble pathetically. He had been left in such a state, and she was casually talking to another man.

He had asked someone to check if she was still in contact with the Knights’ Order, but he hadn’t expected such a sudden visit. As a result, Felix had run into her. Of course, everyone probably vaguely guessed about his relationship with Erelia.

He was curious about the contents of the results Felix brought. Perhaps he should have checked immediately. He wanted to dismiss it as trivial jealousy, but they didn’t even have a simple label like “lovers.” She always clung to him whenever they were together. She probably wasn’t interested in anything but his body. He was nothing more than a cherished toy. Still, she used to always stay beside him until the morning after, being affectionate….

Now, even that seemed to have become tiresome.

His heart churned, and he hung his head. He felt miserable. He had never felt so wretched before.

Meanwhile, Erelia could not hide her confusion at his increasingly serious demeanor. 

Was he really upset? Some people feel down after s*x, but was Carlisle actually that type? 

Unaware of what he was thinking, Erelia watched him closely.

“You don’t give even a piece of your heart to the man you’ve been intimate with.”

“What?”

“Can’t you be satisfied with just me?”

“What?”

She suddenly had a bad feeling. 

What on earth was he talking about? 

For her, there was only him. Slowly, it began to dawn on her what kind of misunderstanding he was having. 

Come to think of it….

Had I ever told Carlisle I loved him?

“If it’s going to be like this… just stop.”

“No!!”

Erelia shouted urgently. She had completely messed up. She hadn’t been able to consider the delicate feelings of the man. She failed as a secret admirer. 

What kind of view did he have of me to misunderstand this way?

She reflected on her past.

She saw his startled face. She had to correct this immediately.

“It’s not like that….”

In the end, she confessed everything. The long time she had spent secretly loving him, the reason she started loving him, all the thoughts she had while being with him. Of course, because she had committed so many wrongs, it felt more like a confession than a declaration of love, but right now, it was a hundred times better to reveal her dark side.

Although at the part where she said, ‘I loved you so much that I found vicarious satisfaction with the men around you,’ he made a face as if he heard something bizarre.

“So that’s… how it is.”

Perhaps shocked by what she revealed, he covered his mouth and thought for a long time. 

Did he hate me now? Was he completely turned off because I was an incorrigible perverted trash? But he also greatly enjoyed being subjected to that perverted trash. So maybe he would overlook it a little.

Finally, he removed his hand from his face and spoke.

“I can’t let you get away with having violated me like this.”

“Huh, what….”

Wasn’t it mutual consent…? 

Erelia swallowed her unfair words. She had committed so many wrongs that she had nothing to say. 

Was this the end? Would we never meet like this again? 

She closed her eyes tightly, tense, awaiting his decision.

“So you’ll have to take responsibility.”

A gentle warmth touched her forehead. Surprised by the unexpected response, she opened her eyes to see him lightly kissing her. He met her gaze with a flushed face.

“What…?”

“Do you not want to?”

“No!!”

Erelia shouted loudly once more. She pulled him close and this time, kissed him deeply on the lips. As always, he let himself be swept away by her actions.

Erelia’s unrequited love had come to an end.