‘She definitely had no family except her dead parents.’

He still couldn’t help but laugh hollowly when thinking about the maid who had completely paid off her debt and run away while he was gone. It was like a well-trained dog suddenly breaking its leash and escaping.

So he needed an even stronger leash. One that could keep May bound to him even if he ended up in a political marriage.

As Aiden pondered methods, he suddenly recalled the laughable story Derrick had told him.

“Though mother hates courtesans, what can you do.”

“……”

“If you want her that badly, then take her.”

“……”

“If you’re going to act badly anyway, do it thoroughly.”

It won’t change anything if you do as you please with one commoner, right? Aiden.

‘…A courtesan.’

Taking May as his mistress. It was a ridiculous idea he had consciously pushed away. Originally, even without that, May was already his…. Moreover, he had never thought about keeping a woman who wasn’t his wife. He had no interest in female charms, and the act of mingling flesh only felt unpleasant to him.

He detested the disgusting, sticky act ever since his boyhood when he was forced to watch a man and woman having s*x in front of him as so-called “education.” That’s why he would frown at the dissolute private lives of the noble youths he associated with.

But Aiden couldn’t easily dismiss the thought once it had entered his mind.

‘Take her as a mistress.’

The increasingly deepening thought eventually created an image of the maid beneath him. The act he normally found repulsive continued without hesitation in his imagination. As if some prohibition had been lifted.

It was an image he had never, ever conjured before. The maid looking up at him with a melting face.

The act of mingling bodies with such a common wench should never…

Should never even be imagined.

Aiden’s face twisted violently at the imagination that continued against his will.

“D*mn it….”

It was difficult to dispel the scene once imagined, to the point where his desperate denial became laughable.

In his imagination, Aiden buried his face in May’s loosened hair, pressed his lips against her bright red cheeks…. and finally committed the obscene act of licking the mulberry juice that had flowed down her snow-white body.

Just as her small hands would usually ruffle through Aiden’s scalp, his hands deeply dug between the black strands of her hair. Then their lips met, and as their shared breaths deepened, their bodies pressed against each other without any gap.

‘F*ck.’

Naturally, he recalled the moment when their eyes had met closely. The clear black eyes blinking before him, the long eyelashes, even the breath lightly scattered from her small lips.

As reality mixed with imagination, the scene became more vivid. Simultaneously, a dull sensation formed in his lower body. His c*ck, quickly stiffening, began to ooze excitement from its tip. It was s*xual arousal that boiled up instantly, to the point of discomfort.

Aiden, squinting his eyes at this, let out a hollow laugh.

“…I’ve gone completely mad.”

It seemed that unnecessary desires were arising because he had stopped wielding the sword he hadn’t touched for a while.

Though the heat wouldn’t easily subside, Aiden repeatedly told himself, ignoring it,

‘…Even if I take her as a mistress, that would only be the superficial reason.’

* * *

“By the way, when is that annoying young master coming back?”

To Johan’s question, May counted the days before answering.

“Hmm… I don’t know the exact date, but it will take several more weeks. He said he would come after the banquet ends.”

“That’s fortunate at least.”

“What is?”

To her question as she blinked her eyes, Johan smiled as if it were nothing.

“Just that it seems to take longer than I thought?”

‘…Longer?’

May looked at Johan in confusion for a moment, then tightened her arms around his neck. Instead of asking about his incomprehensible words, she decided it was better to continue what they were doing.

Moreover, a slight dissatisfaction rose because Johan had been constantly talking, preventing their activity from progressing.

“My lady, you know there’s someone else on the first floor, right?”

Yes, just like now. At the words whispered by the lips close to hers, May drooped her eyebrows and said,

“Dominic said he was busy.”

“Ah, so you went to him first.”

That’s also quite irritating. Ignoring his small mutter, May firmly gripped his clothes.

“Johan, don’t you want to do it with me…?”

“Of course not.”

Johan said this while hugging May tightly. Had he finally decided to do it properly? May’s face brightened. Her lower part had already finished preparing to create a vessel. In other words, she had been wet and sticky even before coming to Johan’s room.

But then….

“It’s not that I don’t want to… I’m sorry. I don’t think I can get it up today.”

“…What?”

At his words spoken with a smiling face, May’s expression froze in bewilderment.

Soon, her face twisted and blanked repeatedly beyond her control. After various expressions passed over her face in a short time, it finally stopped in a dazed state. Her darkened black eyes looked up at him for a moment.

The golden eyes that met her searching gaze curved even more. Despite witnessing the strange appearance that had quickly passed, Johan continued to look down at May without losing his smile.

“Please understand. Sometimes it doesn’t listen to me.”

Upon hearing his additional words, May belatedly floundered and tried to escape from Johan’s embrace.

Perhaps because it was an unexpected situation, her mind became tangled instantly. When she couldn’t follow the thought-form’s brainwashing that she had been trying to carry out one-dimensionally, her thought circuits became twisted.

“Th-then to Dominic….”

“He said he was busy.”

“Um… what should I do….”

“Let’s just stay like this today, holding each other.”

After saying that, Johan buried his face in May’s nape and gently asked,

“Did you learn a lot about your grandfather?”

His voice tickling her skin was very affectionate. Enough to make her tangled mind organize calmly and her flustered heart quiet down. …It was a voice that gave stability.

But the lingering desire for the “vessel” still hadn’t disappeared. Because of this, May could only slowly nod her head after pondering over his question several times.

“…Yes.”

“I want to know what you heard.”

Eventually, with the calm voice and the hand patting her back, an unusually urgent drowsiness came over her. A deep sense of exhaustion enveloped her body, as if after intense exercise. May fought against it forcibly and answered,

“As he said in the letter, my grandfather was wrong…. Also, and….”

“Yes, and?”

“He couldn’t get forgiveness from my grandmother, so… the ending wasn’t good, and he regretted that a lot. That’s why his relationship with my mother also became bad….”

The lawyer said that my grandfather lived well enough after separating from my grandmother. He heard that from the viscount. But since I can see ghosts, since sunlight passes through his body… I think grandfather didn’t live as well as others thought….

“Were you sad?”

At the question that understood her feelings, May nodded her head slightly. She had already closed her eyes and was resting her cheek against Johan’s chest. The question about her sadness made the tip of her nose sting, and she unconsciously rubbed her nose against his clothes.

Then her gloomy voice revealed a more distinct emotion.

“Actually, very much….”

She had never had a conversation with her grandfather. In fact, it was an ambiguous relationship to be bound by the word “family.” So someone might say it was excessive sympathy, excessive sadness.

But even so, she couldn’t help it. May’s heart ached for the elderly ghost’s current situation. The numbness that prevented her from ignoring it was something she couldn’t control.

As she rubbed her stinging nose against his broad chest once more, a languid voice comforted her.

“You must have been very sad. But don’t keep holding it in your heart.”

“I-I don’t know how not to hold it in….”

If there were a way to empty emotions, her grandfather wouldn’t have ended up like that. Even for herself, just talking about him revived those earlier feelings. Sadness and regret had longer durations than happiness and joy.

When she finally sniffled a little due to the persistent feelings troubling her heart, Johan slowly stroked her back.

“It’s simple. Just tell me like you did today.”

Then, as his hand gently stroked her hair, the drowsiness she had been barely fighting against intensified. While her sadness rose, the thought of creating a vessel suddenly strengthened, but it was a strong drowsiness enough to bury that desire.

She blinked her dry eyes several times to avoid falling asleep, but Johan covered her eyes with his hand as if telling her to sleep.

With his body heat still covering her face, his voice continued. The small voice breathed near her ear was like a lullaby.

“Originally, emotions unnecessarily grow when you keep them to yourself.”

Whether positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. And that creates gaps in your heart. In May’s case, it was also like feeding what was parasitizing inside her body.

You’ve been in the garden all this time and saw the ghost, feeling sadness and sympathy. So it seems the thought-form tried to create a vessel, taking advantage of the gap created by your weakened heart.

Johan easily assessed the situation while listening to the soft breathing sounds that were now coming from her.