Chapter 13

That child is not your son.

It was something she had heard so often that her ears could have worn calluses from it. Every time she heard it, it felt as though her heart were being sharply cut. She ought to have grown used to it by now, and yet the pain still came surging up, turning her insides over.

Even so, Elisa had never once made a proper rebuttal. From the moment she defied her parents’ wishes and gave birth to Noah, she had been branded a sinner.

Of course, she herself did not think of herself as a sinner. What was wrong with giving birth to the child of the man she loved? Even though Ethan had abandoned her and left, she had never once regretted giving birth to Noah.

But the people around her saw it that way, and the result of that reached even her young son, who had done nothing wrong.

Wanting to make sure Noah suffered no more because of her, Elisa suppressed the anger boiling inside her, lowered herself as much as possible, and acted meek and obedient.

So it should have been right to do the same this time as well, and yet for some reason she did not want to. Was it because only yesterday she had heard Aunt Tania say things like she was neglecting the child, and that the child was her younger brother.

“……If Noah is not my son, then whose son is he?”

The hand hidden inside her sleeve trembled faintly, but the eyes with which she looked at her mother were steadfast.

“Is he your son, Mother, just as he is entered in the family registry?”

She had asked with a touch of temper, but it was something she had wondered about all along. What would her mother say. Clutching at her pounding heart, Elisa waited for her answer.

As though not noticing her daughter’s feelings in the slightest, the Countess leisurely drank her tea. Those few seconds felt as long as eternity to Elisa.

“Mother.”

Her patience wore out that quickly, and Elisa urged her on. Only then did the Countess set down her teacup, look at her daughter for a moment, and rise. Elisa rose as well.

“After such a long train ride, I’m tired. I think I should wash up and rest now, so let’s talk later.”

“The answer……”

“Elisa, I said I’m tired.”

There was an edge in the voice that cut her off. She even gestured for her to leave now, but Elisa did not budge, as though her feet had been nailed to the floor.

The Countess shot an annoyed look at such a daughter and pulled the bell cord.

Only after her mother entered the bath with the maid who came shortly after did Elisa finally move the feet that had seemed rooted to the ground.

Returning straight to her own bedroom, Elisa leaned her back against the closed door and slowly slid down to the floor. A hollow laugh spread across her lips as she stared blankly at the ceiling.

What in the world was I expecting.

From the start, she had not expected her mother to answer that Noah was her son.

Because that was not the truth.

Even so, she had thought that at the very least he would be included within the fence called family, but that had been her mistake. The proof was that her mother had not even called Noah her grandson, not even as a mere formality, and had instead avoided answering altogether.

If Mother is like that, would Father really be any different. Surely he doesn’t think of Noah as family either.

At the fact that her one and only parents did not acknowledge her one and only son, her chest felt heavy and tight. The hands wrapped around her arms trembled slightly.

“……It’s nothing new.”

She had long known that her parents were not pleased with Noah. It was simply that the depth of those feelings was greater than she had expected.

Could that be why Noah is afraid of them?

People often say that children easily recognize those who dislike them……

When her thoughts reached that point, her eyes grew hot. Elisa buried her face even deeper between her knees.

“Don’t cry, Elisa.”

Noah was being treated like that because of her, so crying would be foolish. Instead of this, she ought to be thinking of a way to make her parents acknowledge Noah.

But how? How could she make her parents accept Noah?

“……Does it absolutely have to be that way?”

Did she really have to obtain her parents’ acknowledgment? If she simply left with Noah, just the two of them, there would be no need for that at all……

Agonizing until her head hurt, Elisa suddenly muttered that realization and looked out the window. Before she knew it, the sky was full of red light.

The desert I once saw in a book was red and vast like that sky too.

The reason the desert came to mind was because the Kingdom of Tahal, where the physician who might cure Noah’s illness was, lay in a desert region.

Her mother had flatly said no, but Elisa had already steeled herself to go to the Kingdom of Tahal.

If her parents opposed her to the very end, she was prepared to abandon the family and leave with Noah alone.

‘That might actually be better.’

If she ran away to the Kingdom of Tahal, Noah would no longer have to watch her parents’ expressions and tremble in fear the way he did now.

And that was not all. No one there would know Elisa Leslie, so she would be able to say proudly that this child was her son.

She would no longer be forced into a marriage she did not want, and above all, the greatest advantage was that there was a possibility Noah’s illness could be cured.

And even by accident, there would be no chance of meeting Ethan……

“What kind of foolish thoughts am I having.”

As the branches of her growing thoughts stretched off in a strange direction, Elisa shook her head violently.

But once his face had arisen, it would not easily disappear. Rather, it only became clearer, and so Elisa slapped her own cheeks hard this time.

Only after striking them until both cheeks were the same color as the sunset-stained sky did his image finally fade. Letting out a short sigh, Elisa rose unsteadily.

She wanted to see Noah. It felt as though seeing the innocent sparkle in the child’s eyes would lift the feelings that had sunk to the bottom.

* * *

Derek Grenville visited the Leslie’s residence the following evening.

“Thank you for inviting me, Countess.”

“Oh my, you could have come empty-handed.”

A broad smile spread over the Countess’s face as she accepted the bouquet of roses and the gift box Derek handed her.

Derek also gave gifts to Elisa and Noah. Elisa’s was a pair of sapphire earrings, the exact color of her eyes, and Noah’s was a wolf doll, the child’s favorite animal.

Elisa felt uncomfortable receiving such an expensive gift when it was not even a special occasion, but since she was not the only one receiving one, she could say nothing. That was also because Noah liked his gift very much.

The Countess led Derek to the drawing room. Elisa followed after them, but Noah did not.

“To think I merely invited you to dinner, and yet I’m receiving gifts like this—it makes me a little embarrassed.”

“I have only offered my feelings as a gift, so there’s no need for you to feel burdened.”

Smiling warmly, Derek continued,

“And compared to what you have given me, Madame, this is nothing at all.”

“What have I ever done for you?”

“You raised Elisa so beautifully. Thanks to that, I have been granted the great fortune of taking a wife as beautiful as yourself, Countess.”

“My, what lovely things you say.”

The Countess looked at Derek with a pleased smile. On the other hand, because Derek’s words and actions made her uncomfortable, Elisa quietly drank her tea.

Derek Grenville and Countess Leslie spoke together so intimately that one might have believed he was her son.

Elisa was not included in that warmth. It was not that they excluded her, but that she herself did not join the conversation. Even when spoken to, all she did was answer with “Yes” or “No,” or smile quietly.

“Dinner is ready, Madam.”

Around the time Elisa had emptied her teacup twice, the butler announced it. The Countess nodded and rose. Elisa and Derek did the same.

“Elisa, escort Sir Grenville to the dining room. I’ll stop by the bedroom briefly and bring Noah along.”

“I’ll go get Noah……”

“You must escort Sir Grenville.”

Her tone was gentle, but the look with which she regarded her daughter was firm. It was exactly the same as when she had answered that going to the Kingdom of Tahal was impossible.

Even knowing that no matter what she said her mother would never change her mind, Elisa could not back down. Because Noah was afraid of her mother.

Even earlier, when she had gone out to greet Derek, Noah had hidden behind Elisa’s back and kept watching the Countess cautiously.

“Um, if it would not be rude, may I go and bring Noah myself?”

She knew the chances were high that she would be refused, but for Noah’s sake she meant to try anyway, when Derek suddenly cut in.

“As it happens, I felt sorry earlier that I couldn’t talk much with Noah. So I’d like to go bring him myself. Would that be alright, Madame?”

With his characteristic warm and likable tone, Derek made the request politely. At once, the firmness in the Countess’s gaze softened. Smiling as though it could not be helped, she nodded.

“There is no reason not to. Do as you please.”