***

What is push and pull?

It’s checking messages immediately but delaying replies by 10 minutes, pretending to be busy while being free, deliberately rejecting appointments to make the other person anxious.

And like that bastard Carl, who’s constantly showing his face then suddenly disappearing.

After receiving the dessert from Dain, Carl’s contact completely cut off.

Even when she sent letters, there was no response.

‘No, why is he suddenly going silent?’

She was bewildered beyond confusion, and honestly hurt. If he was busy, he could at least say he was busy.

Could something have happened that he’s hiding from me?

When her anger was gradually turning into worry, she finally got in touch with Carl.

“Count, a letter from Duke Celsior has……”

As soon as she heard Celsior, she rushed over like a wasp and checked the letter in Mandy’s hand.

‘Huh? What’s this? A party invitation?’

She had expected a letter explaining the circumstances in detail, but it was an invitation complete with dress code, which was absurd.

What…… this isn’t even a joke.

‘Seriously, who does he think will come to this?’

He should explain why he disappeared first, but to suddenly call me to a party?

She got angry and folded the invitation in half. After all the heartache I went through these past few days.

I’m absolutely not going.

And on the day of the party….

She woke up at dawn and polished herself until she shone. Until yesterday afternoon she really wasn’t planning to go, but when night came, her mind changed.

What choice did she have. She had to go if she wanted to see his face.

This is why they say when you love, you’re destined to lose forever.

The dress code was red, so she wore a rose-like red velvet dress.

Lace ran along the square neckline, and black ribbons layered on the widely spreading hem created an elegant yet cute atmosphere.

Mandy tied half her hair up and decorated it with diamond flower pins, adding brightness.

“How do I look, Mandy?”

“You look most beautiful, Count.”

Mandy gave a sincere thumbs up. She stood in front of the mirror, satisfied.

Hmph, I’ll make myself so pretty that he’ll regret not seeing me for days!

Having made full preparations, she departed for Duke Celsior’s residence so as not to be late for the party.

Shortly after, the ducal residence she arrived at was quieter than expected. For someone like Celsior, quite a lot of guests would attend when he threw a party.

Moreover, since it was the first party the new duke was throwing, high society’s attention would have been focused on it.

‘Come to think of it, why didn’t he invite the Diart people either? They might feel a bit left out……’

She was suddenly puzzled and tilted her head when a servant guarding the party hall entrance shouted loudly.

“Count Shailyn Sharofe is entering!”

The heavy stone door slowly opened. She straightened her back and entered, only to be startled.

“……?!”

The interior of the hall where she expected there would be some people…… was surprisingly completely empty.

In the middle of that empty space, Carl stood alone.

What is this?

When she hesitated with a dumbfounded face, Carl strode toward her.

“Thank you for coming, Shailyn.”

“What, you said it was a party but why is no one here……?”

“It’s a party I threw for you. But I want to be alone with you. So I only invited the two of us.”

Carl spoke very confidently. She opened her mouth wide and raised a question.

“……No, can this even be called a party?”

When only two people gathered?

Naturally taking her hand and escorting her, he calmly replied.

“If we call it a party, then it’s a party.”

How can he be so shameless?

But what about me, who doesn’t hate it.

Even though it was a party with only two people, everything that should be prepared was prepared.

A band playing music, finger food tables placed here and there, servants walking around with drink glasses.

Carl, leading her to the center of the hall, took her hand and bowed his head slightly.

“Would you dance one song with me, Count.”

Ahem. She cleared her throat once then responded primly.

“Alright.”

“It’s an honor.”

Carl, smiling, soon seriously took position. His large hand wrapped around her waist, and she placed her hand on his broad shoulder.

She vividly recalled practicing dance with Carl during the Queen of High Society selection.

That was really fun.

Carl also seemed to be tracing the same memory, whispering as he stepped softly.

“After sacrificing my body to improve your dancing skills, you don’t know how upset I was watching you dance with another man.”

“……I had no choice before. You were my bondservant.”

Carl chuckled at her poor excuse.

“Exactly. The desire for social advancement struck very intensely.”

His hair with chandelier light pouring down was exactly like a night sky full of twinkling stars.

The face positioned below was handsome and perfect as always today too.

This moment dancing with Carl felt as sweet as a dream.

One she never wanted to wake from.

‘……But if I return to my original world, I’ll have to wake up whether I want to or not, right?’

The moment melancholy suddenly rushed in and she lowered her eyes, Carl, spinning her around once while holding her waist, pulled her close and whispered in her ear.

“From now on, don’t dance with other men. I’ll go crazy with jealousy.”

“……Aren’t you embarrassed to say such things honestly?”

She reflexively hunched her shoulders at the breath tickling her skin and the low voice drumming her eardrums as she asked.

“I would have been embarrassed before. But I learned this while living in hiding.”

Transparent red eyes held a truthful light as they gazed at her and spoke.

“Living falsely is more difficult and embarrassing.”

“……”

She bit her lip at words that perhaps accurately described her current situation.

She was Shailyn yet not Shailyn, and most of the time she had lived as Shailyn was spent following the mission’s lead.

Her current self living a false life was painful and agonizing.

‘If I honestly confess to Carl…… would he really understand me?’

She wasn’t certain. If she said another soul was inside her body, most people would treat her like a crazy person, not take it seriously.

And Carl might also be shocked that she wasn’t the real Shailyn…… and lose interest.

For various reasons, it wasn’t easy to speak the truth aloud.

In the end, she couldn’t say anything to Carl and the performance ended.

After finishing their dance alone and catching their breath, servants suddenly appeared carrying a huge cake.

She opened her eyes wide at the pure white three-tier cake decorated quite splendidly.

“Why did you prepare such a cake? It looks exactly like a celebration cake.”

“Right, it’s my birthday cake.”

“Ah, it was your birthday cake……”

She naturally nodded then suddenly stopped. What did he just say……?

I didn’t mishear, did I?

When she looked at him with a shocked face, Carl calmly faced her.

“You, your birthday is today?!”

“Not today. The day before yesterday.”

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me!”

“I was afraid you’d feel burdened.”

This bastard, does he call that an excuse.

She raised her hand and slapped his solid shoulder once, then got serious.

“Carl, how do you think I’d feel if I didn’t tell you my birthday for that reason and just let it pass.”

“……I’d be hurt.”

“Then why did you do that to me.”

“I’m sorry. My thinking was short.”

Carl obediently bowed his head and apologized. He looked exactly like a well-behaved puppy, so she unconsciously almost patted his head but held back.

“I don’t have anything special to give right now, so I’ll give you a present next time. From now on, you have to tell me about these things in advance.”

When she put her hand on her waist and sternly warned him, he nodded with a face that was happy despite being scolded.

“What, why are you smiling? I’m angry.”

“I know, but telling me to say it in advance means you’ll take care of my birthday from now on too.”

Carl tilted his face toward her. At the suddenly close distance, she could clearly see his sharp eyes folding and curving into circles.

“Aren’t you saying you’ll see me for life?”

“……I didn’t say that much.”

She deliberately averted her gaze and answered as if muttering. Thump, thump, thump, her rapidly beating heart echoed to her eardrums.

Carl, who had been laughing regardless of her deliberately indifferent words, picked up the cake cutting knife.

“Shall we make a wish together before cutting?”

“Good.”

Having lit the candles, they briefly held hands together and closed their eyes.

She sincerely wished on his birthday cake.

‘Please let Carl be happy for a long, long time even after I disappear.’

So that the future farewell would hurt even a little less.