Chapter 116

Edward smiled at my words.

Seeing that, it felt as though the tightness in my chest had suddenly eased.

The slight curve of his lips and the gentle clarity of his pale eyes were almost enough to draw me in.

I found myself staring before clearing my throat awkwardly.

“You must have heard from the physician—my health has improved a lot.”

“I know. He said you should be able to take light walks in about a month.”

“Yes. I’ll take my medicine properly and do my best to recover quickly.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.”

Even knowing full well that once I recovered, I would be leaving Winderton Manor, Edward simply nodded with a smile.

“Do you really want me to recover quickly?”

“You’re asking the obvious, Lirie. Your health is the top priority.”

“Even if it means I’ll leave Winderton Manor? Even if you might never see me again?”

“…Even so, your health comes first.”

At my last question, Edward faltered for a moment.

The soft smile he’d been wearing froze noticeably, but it didn’t take long for it to return.

He nodded again with that same gentle expression.

“Foolish man… Is this what you call the love of a duke?”

“I don’t know if it’s the right way. But if my absence means you can be happy, then I think it is.”

“For us to divorce, we’ll have to overcome a lot of opposition. It’ll be troublesome for you. His Majesty will likely be displeased with your decision.”

“That’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll take care of all of it myself.”

“Handle it yourself, huh…”

I thought to myself. The Emperor was not someone who would allow my divorce from Edward without gaining something in return.

He would likely demand something from Edward in exchange for his approval.

Judging from his actions now, Edward seemed ready to grant the divorce even at a loss.

“When I loved you, I was the one who got hurt. But now that you love me, you’re the one suffering.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m not fine. When we’re together, one of us is always unhappy. I know for certain there’s no choice where we can both be happy.”

It was also the reason why, even knowing Edward’s sincerity, I couldn’t easily choose him.

The longer we stayed together, the more inevitable our unhappiness would be.

“Such misfortune can’t leave the slightest scratch on me.”

“Love isn’t some fairytale. Even if I had chosen you, we would have eventually surrendered to reality. Under the Emperor’s and the Duke of Scarlett’s pressure, I would have made choices that troubled you.”

“Even so, I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“That kind of thinking would fade with time. Emotions aren’t eternal.”

Perhaps Edward thought this was his last chance, and he was trying to choose me.

But I wasn’t giving him a chance.

I was only trying to sort out the feelings I had left.

I knew I hadn’t completely let go of him yet.

“Even if hard times came, I could have endured them. If you were by my side, I could have overcome anything.”

“If you’re by my side, the House of Winderton will no longer be perfect. Could you bear to watch the family you hold so dearly fall apart?”

“It’s not a house that would crumble so easily. And even if it did, between my house and you, I would choose you.”

“…..”

Edward took my hand just as he used to.

“Lirie.”

“…..”

“I don’t really know how to love. That’s why I’ve hurt you so much. Even when my head was filled with you, I kept denying it, insisting it wasn’t love.”

“Stop. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

If I kept listening to Edward’s words, I felt like tears would spill.

My eyes were burning red, and my throat was tightening.

I shook my head, refusing to hear him.

“Please, just this once.”

“No, I don’t want to….”

“Even though I once rejected my feelings for you, that’s no longer the case. I still don’t know exactly what to do, but my feelings themselves have not changed.”

While I was listening to Edward’s calm, resolute words, I felt something trace down my cheek.

He noticed before I did and wiped it away with his hand.

“Let me ask just one last thing. Once I hear your answer, I’ll never ask you the same question again, Lirie.”

“…What is it?”

“Do you not love me? Have I come to you too late?”

Edward looked at me with trembling eyes, waiting for my answer.

‘Do I love him?’

I asked myself in response to his question.

But the words “I love you” did not come out easily.

If it had been before, I would have said it without hesitation.

‘Then do I not love Edward?’

But even to that opposite question, no answer came.

I had said to Betty, to Edward himself, that I resented him, that I hated him—but none of those words had been the whole truth.

“I…”

“I’m not forcing you to answer. I just want to know how you feel. Even this feeling of mine might be a burden to you.”

“I can’t say that I love you.”

After a moment of thought, the words left my lips with difficulty.

Hearing them, Edward stared at me blankly for a moment, then nodded as if he understood.

“I thought as much.”

“…”

“If I were you, I would have said the same. I knew well that it was far too late to be forgiven by you. I just… let myself be greedy on the off chance.”

Edward seemed to be trying to hide the bitterness in his heart, but it was impossible to conceal.

He released my hand, which he had been holding the whole time.

“I’m sorry, Lirie. Please rest.”

“…”

Then he left the bedroom.

As soon as his hand left mine, the warmth vanished.

Feeling my hand grow colder, I just stared at the tightly closed door.

It felt like this really was the end.

“Well, after saying something like that and still being rejected, it’s no wonder Edward would give up.”

Edward had tried again and again to hold onto me.

If someone who knew nothing saw it, they’d probably scold him, asking why he was so foolishly clinging to someone who clearly didn’t want him.

“If I were Edward, I’d have given up too…”

Before leaving the room, Edward had pulled the blanket over me one last time.

I smoothed it down with my hands and murmured to myself.

“I shouldn’t have talked to him.”

I shouldn’t have left the bedroom, shouldn’t have let him in, shouldn’t have let him help me walk.

“See? In the end, the more we talk, the more unhappy we both become.”

***

A month passed quickly.

Meeting the doctor every morning, taking my medicine twice a day, resting well, and eating proper meals made the days go by in a blur.

“It seems you can handle light walks now. You’ve gotten much better, my lady.”

“You’ve done well. It’s all thanks to you.”

On the exact day that marked one month, the doctor examined me and laughed heartily.

Betty, who was by my side, let out a relieved sigh.

“My lady, I’m so glad.”

“Yes…”

It was clearly good news, yet I couldn’t fully feel happy.

I forced my lips into a smile, though they didn’t want to lift.

The time to leave Winderton Castle was drawing closer and closer—so why did I feel heavier with each passing day?

“The duke will be overjoyed to hear this.”

“Yes, I’m sure he will.”

I had seen Edward only a handful of times over the past month.

Since that day, he hadn’t come to my bedroom, nor had he spoken with Betty outside my door.

The only way I saw him was by glimpsing his figure through the window as he moved about outside the castle.

“In any case, from now on you should take short walks several times a day to rebuild your strength. That way you’ll be able to return to your normal life.”

“I understand.”

Once the doctor left, my gaze naturally shifted back to the window.

“My lady, what are you looking at?”

“Oh? Nothing…”

I brushed off Betty’s question but kept my eyes fixed outside.

“…Ah!”

Just then, I spotted Edward.

He was meeting the doctor, who had just exited the castle.

What are they talking about…

It had been an extremely short exchange, yet once it ended, Edward was smiling.