Chapter 115

Hearing that voice, I held my breath.

Today, Edward’s voice sounded even sadder than usual.

“…So stubborn, even when he’s hurting this much.”

Pulling the blanket over my head, I muttered to myself.

The Edward I knew was the kind of man who would cling to me, say he couldn’t let me go even if it killed him.

Yet now, he was acting like a man at death’s door, doing everything for my sake.

“I don’t know anymore…”

Edward’s voice continued to filter through the door.

It seemed there was no hope of falling back asleep.

I shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to drift off somehow.

If I kept listening to him, I felt like the resolve I’d held on to would crumble.

***

“That’s a relief. It seems this new medicine agrees with you, my lady.”

“…Is that so?”

Early that morning, the physician came to see me.

After checking my condition, he let out a hearty laugh.

The most dangerous stage had already passed, and his expression was far more at ease than before.

“If you continue taking it regularly, I expect you’ll be able to move about as you used to in about a month. After that, you can start taking light walks to rebuild your strength.”

“That’s good to hear. You’ve done well.”

“Not at all—his grace the duke is the one who’s worked the hardest.”

The physician said the same thing Betty always did.

It was as if everyone I met had agreed beforehand to speak of Edward’s efforts.

Earlier, the butler who had come into my room had also told me it was fortunate and spoke about Edward, looking almost pained when I openly avoided the topic.

“…Has the duke really gone through that much for me?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard yet?”

“No, it’s just that everyone I meet keeps saying he’s the one who’s suffered the most…”

“You may have already been told this, but his grace was always by your side. It was also the duke who spoke to Princess Estelle to obtain the White Serpent herb for you.”

The physician’s voice was gentle as he explained, echoing what others had said before.

I nodded at the now-familiar story.

“You can’t imagine how desperately his grace prayed for a miracle… It was enough to make even me feel sorry for him.”

“He’s not the sort to hope for miracles.”

“Indeed. I’ve served him for a long time, but this was the first time I’d ever seen him wish for one. I believe your condition left him feeling powerless.”

“Powerless?”

I tilted my head.

That was not a feeling I imagined Edward could have.

“His grace has always succeeded in everything. Every choice he made was the right one. But not even he could change your condition. Everything was in the hands of the heavens.”

“Doesn’t suit him at all…”

“Quite so. It was the first time the entire estate saw him falter. The first time he ever showed himself crumbling.”

The physician spoke as if recalling the moment.

“He hardly slept. We were worried he might collapse himself. But now that you’re awake, it’s all resolved.”

“Would he have a hard time if I disappeared?”

“He wouldn’t endure it. While you were unconscious, he said more than once that death would be better than seeing you like that.”

Even as I kept asking about Edward, I felt foolish.

But I also thought Edward was foolish for letting himself be so consumed by me.

“Doctor, do you think the duke loves me?”

“Well, my lady, I’m rather surprised you’d ask me such a thing.”

“…Just answer honestly. It’s not that I’m hoping for a certain reply.”

“His grace grew up never knowing love. Lady Eteil cherished him, yes, but more as a flawless trophy than as a beloved son. So he never learned how to truly love.”

The estate’s long-standing physician had seen much of Edward’s childhood.

Back when he still had some innocence, Edward would call for Lady Eteil whenever he was hurt—probably just wanting her concern—but she would scold him instead.

He always had to be perfect, and she saw any injury as a flaw.

“Someone like that cannot give the ideal love everyone imagines. It would be a love more lacking, more difficult than most.”

“…”

“I understand why such a love would be hard for you. But he is trying very hard.”

I turned my head sharply away before the physician could finish.

He had known Edward longer than I had, so it was natural he’d speak for him.

But there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t ignore.

‘It’s as if he’s saying I made the wrong choice…’

I bit my lip hard and gripped the hem of my dress.

It felt like everyone wanted me to change my mind.

None of the people telling me about Edward knew about the promise between us…

“I’m not saying this because the duke cherishes you, my lady. I think I understand what you’ve endured here. That’s why the choice is yours.”

Leaving me with those words, the physician left my room.

I leaned back against the bed and looked out the window.

Edward no longer came to see me.

He seemed to speak to Betty from time to time, though.

Perhaps he came as far as my door, talked with her, and then left—because if I stayed quiet, I would sometimes hear their voices beyond the door.

Whenever I heard Edward’s voice asking Betty about my condition, I felt it would be better if he just came in and checked for himself.

His questions to Betty were always the same, and her answers never changed.

“How is Lirie?”

“She’s much better, your grace. I don’t think you need to worry so much.”

It was the same situation now.

As soon as the physician stepped out of my room, Edward, who had been waiting, asked him the same thing.

I sighed and got out of bed.

My body still hadn’t fully recovered, and even standing upright was difficult; I swayed unsteadily.

One cautious step at a time, I made my way to the door so I wouldn’t fall.

“Are you always asking other people about my condition like that?”

“…Lirie.”

I spoke to Edward, who was standing at the door talking to the physician.

Clearly not expecting me to come out, he looked visibly startled.

“Before, you asked Betty. Now you’re asking the physician?”

“…Are you well enough for this? Should you really be walking around?”

Instead of answering my question, Edward immediately focused on my health.

He glanced worriedly at the physician beside him.

“Ahem! My lady likely can’t stand for long, so perhaps it would be better if you talked inside instead.”

Before the physician had even finished, Edward was already supporting me.

He hesitated for a moment before touching me, but moved as if he had no choice.

“I’ll just help you keep your balance… so please don’t feel too uncomfortable.”

As if that wasn’t enough, he added an awkward excuse while holding me up.

I hadn’t said a word, but watching him act so cautious toward me suddenly made my chest feel tight.

“Lean against the bed.”

“…Thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be moving like this. Even if you are improving, you’ve been bedridden for a long time—you could easily fall.”

“I only came out because I’ve been hearing your voice for days on end.”

Once he had guided me back to bed, he immediately started fussing over me.

That cautious demeanor from earlier was gone; now he was speaking firmly, and I found myself responding with mild irritation.

“If it made you uncomfortable, I apologize. I won’t ask like that anymore.”

“What I mean is—why do you have to ask Betty or the physician? You used to come in often when I was asleep.”

“I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”

“Well, I find it just as uncomfortable when you keep asking Betty about me.”

Edward lowered his head, and I frowned at the sight.

“Just come see for yourself. If you stay quiet and leave without saying anything, it won’t bother me.”

“…Truly?”

“It’s just that listening to you talking to Betty outside the door is far more uncomfortable.”

“I understand. Thank you, Lirie.”