2.

「Do you believe in fate? Or do you not believe?

There may be no correct answer, but as for me, I believe that sacred providence exists. Actually, that is the very beginning of all this tragedy.

While Nut devoured the sun over ten days, the supreme god Kalus secretly descended to earth through the darkness. He buried a small box in the grassland, then planted a large seed above it and sprouted it, growing it into a large tree over ten days. And he molded a human from clay and commanded them to guard that box. He firmly warned that absolutely no one should open it.

But how mischievous is fate? How could he have known that the goddess Talin would happen to go out to earth that day? And that she would be secretly hiding and listening to those words?

And that was the beginning of all tragedy.」

“Your Grace, the wind is cold, so please go down now.”

Herot has been repeating the same words for who knows how many times now. I half-listened to her words while looking down below the low hill. Long ago, we buried Arthur here.

Do you remember, Odil?

Originally you wanted to call this hill ‘Wind Hill’. But I much preferred the name ‘Windmill Hill’. It was because I didn’t want to leave the only place in the stuffy castle where I could name something as such a stodgy record.

We argued about it for days on end. Why we got so heated over something trivial, honestly, I don’t really know the reason. It might have been a pointless battle of pride. However, you eventually raised the white flag, and this place became ‘Windmill Hill’ from that day on. Now it’s only my memory.

“You’re right. I should have brought a shawl at least. Arthur must be very cold underground too.”

I gently rubbed the earth with one hand.

Arthur’s smiling face really resembled you a lot. Especially the eyebrows that slightly furrowed when he smiled. When I was young, I used to tease you playfully, saying I couldn’t tell if you were smiling or angry when I saw those eyebrows.

Actually, I still don’t know why you abandoned me. Perhaps it was because of my madness, but I’m not sure if that was a sin grave enough to bring down our family. Decades. And my father who was loyal to you for a lifetime—how dare you, how could you treat him so dishonorably? I still don’t understand.

“When will Father return, Herot? Has there been no contact from the estate yet?”

Thinking about it made me miss my father terribly. But it was impossible to see his face right away. It was too busy with the harvest season, so he always went down to the territory personally to handle matters at this time.

“I haven’t received word yet, but wouldn’t it take at least 7 more days? That’s usually how it is.”

“Yes, it was.”

I agreed with Herot’s words. The Job territory is very famous for grapes. Being a basin, cultivation goes well, and the sugar content is high with uniform skin thickness, so when made into wine, the aroma and color are very deep. Properly aged ones are very rare and don’t come on the market often, but Father used to offer the best-aged wine to you every year.

It was a foolish thing to do.

“Let’s go.”

The more I mulled it over, the more my mood sank, so I got up and dusted myself off.

“To the main building.”

When I boarded the carriage and gave the order, Herot brightened. Since I hadn’t sought you out even once after the welcome banquet, she seemed to have had many thoughts about it.

“That’s a good idea. His Highness will surely be pleased.”

Perhaps Herot thought my behavior was something like sulking toward you. It was quite a mistaken assumption, but instead of clearing up the misunderstanding, I silently tapped the carriage roof.

“Um, Your Grace.”

It was around when we entered the garden entrance. The rolling wheels suddenly stopped and Herot’s troubled voice came from outside. In truth, I had been aware of the situation for a while due to the disgusting smell wafting from afar. There was only one path with no way to avoid it—if possible, I would have already changed direction.

But I couldn’t just stay trapped like this. When I slowly opened the carriage door and got out, there was Balaktis standing with both hands politely clasped as if he’d been waiting.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

I raised my arm like clearing my throat. Fortunately, the sleeves were long. I pressed the fluttering cloth firmly over my nose and mouth and waited for adaptation while breathing as thinly as possible.

“I had urgent words for His Highness, so I’m on my way back after a brief meeting. The princess is still in private audience with His Highness, but did you have a prior appointment?”

Whether he knew of my efforts or not, Balaktis smiled broadly and readily gestured toward the second-floor office window. His behavior of deliberately revealing the princess’s location felt quite audacious, as though he wanted to upset me somehow. So I smiled back at him too.

“How impudent. If you don’t want your mouth torn, you’d better be careful with your words.”

“……!”

Balaktis’s expression froze stiffly while still smiling. As I satisfyingly observed that face, one of the accompanying priests quietly objected.

“Your words are excessive.”

I frowned. Not simply because I found it rude. Strangely, his voice felt particularly familiar to my ears. It was definitely someone I was seeing for the first time, yet I felt an odd sense of déjà vu like I’d met him somewhere.

‘What is it?’

But the thought seemed about to surface yet didn’t. The vague memory frustratingly twisted this way and that, slipping from my grasp each time. Or perhaps it was just my delusion. Anyway, if the impression was this faint, even if we had met, it would be for some trivial reason.

I judged that far and quickly passed them, still frozen.

“I expect you to behave more politely next time. Who knows? The goddess might be angered by the behavior of impudent servants and take your lives.”

Of course, I didn’t forget a light reprimand before leaving. They hadn’t anticipated such harsh words, so not one of the three had a retort. Balaktis’s face was especially a sight to see. Seeing that made me feel refreshed again, and even my steps felt light as if flying.

“Is it alright for you to say such things?”

Around when we reached the second floor via the stairs, Herot, who had been glancing back while following me, muttered barely audibly.

“What?”

“I mean the priests just now. Of course I know you find them distasteful, but…… the two who followed had such a menacing atmosphere, truly unlike priests.”

Well. Thinking back carefully, that seemed right too. Towering height and large hands. If not for their priestly robes, both companions were tall enough to be mistaken for knights at a glance. Then was my thinking that Balaktis was particularly small all along a misunderstanding? A laugh escaped at the sudden realization.

That’s when it happened. A strange noise poured out and covered my smile. A lively laugh coming from the other end of the corridor. That cheerful and energetic sound was unmistakably the princess’s voice.

“Your Grace.”

Herot, who had stopped as well, glanced toward the office with a troubled expression. But for me, it was rather fortunate. After a brief hesitation, we climbed the stairs again. Herot still seemed to have lingering regrets, but my destination today wasn’t the office anyway. I didn’t bother explaining simply because I hadn’t yet decided how much to reveal.

“You all wait here.”

After ascending to the third floor, I entered the library with only Herot in tow. The library I visited after a long time remained spacious and antique in its old appearance.

“Are you going to read?”

“Well.”

I wandered for a while through the maze-like passages created by the wide and long bookshelves meeting. Librarians offered help intermittently, but I turned them all away and wandered here and there pretending to choose books.

After about ten minutes of this, I finally found the person I was looking for at the end of a corner bookshelf. When I approached without delay and placed a hand on his shoulder, the child who discovered me was startled and bowed his head.

“Your Grace?”

I was a little surprised that the face I met was more youthful than I remembered. The boy wearing loose librarian robes was one of the servants drafted to care for young Arthur. Though of commoner origin, he was quite clever and quick-witted, so I had viewed him favorably too.

Then I suddenly became curious.

If Arthur had grown up healthy, would he have grown tall like the librarian before my eyes now? Wouldn’t he have run to me with flushed cheeks from riding excitedly? On nights without you, wouldn’t he still have consoled me maturely when I was upset?

But all wishes collapsed miserably and were buried underground. The cheerful voice. The soft skin and tender embrace. My life, my dream. The most valuable thing among all valuable things. So you above all should have lived!

Instead of the pure white face dead and buried in the ground, the clear face before my eyes breathing and alive was horrifying. Unreasonable murderous intent and anger instantly swelled and engulfed me. Ah! My vision went pitch black. A violent urge to tear everything visible to shreds and throw it into misfortune writhed violently in my belly. The most gloomy and dark bottom of my heart! The inhuman remnant that had been crouching waiting for its chance was craving blood.

“……Urk.”

However, my consciousness that had been flickering like a lamp running out of oil barely awakened at the groaning sound. What I saw at the end of my carelessly lowered gaze was a face completely overcome with pain. My hands were gripping the child’s shoulders with all their might. I had used so much strength that blue veins were vivid on the backs of my hands.

“Oh my.”

I slowly withdrew my arms. Blood slowly returned to my pale fingertips, making my nail tips tingle.

“……I made a mistake. I’d like to apologize. Can you gather these books and come find me?”

However, instead of making excuses, I chose to bury what just happened. I didn’t feel like bringing it up again to apologize, and partly because it was sincere. I didn’t want to drag my violent thoughts out of my mouth and invite hatred. Even if that wasn’t the real me.

“All of these?”

The child also seemed to know my thoughts and smoothed out his crumpled clothes before continuing matter-of-factly. My eyes went to his still pale face, but at least his skill at pretending composure was praiseworthy for his age. It was indeed a worldliness worth remembering.

Of all things.