I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well. To my eyes, the count’s body seems far more fatigued. Aren’t you unable to even stand without leaning on your belly like that?”

“Pfft.”

At my words gesturing to the belly fat pressed against the table, suppressed laughter burst out here and there. Even Marquis Gladi twitched one cheek, so the only ones not laughing were you and Father.

Then I suddenly remembered something I had completely forgotten. I’m not sure why I thought of it just then. Perhaps it was because Count Wig’s face, flushed bright red, looked exactly like a heated coal stone. But having remembered, it felt uncomfortable to just let it pass.

Because I know the pain of sending a child ahead.

“A great drought will come soon.”

The count will probably never know in his lifetime. That my momentary whim just now opened a path to save his child’s life. I kindly advised him while thinking of Arthur.

“When that time comes, you should carefully look after your household, Count. After all, isn’t human life more precious than property?”

The Wig household was one of the duchy’s top five major landowners. However, perhaps their capacity wasn’t as broad as their land, because when drought came and there was nothing to harvest, they completely omitted all the wages owed to workers. Eventually, the angry workers set fire to the estate, and the vast land all burned pitch black in just a few days.

The countess barely saved her life, but the young son sleeping on another floor died horribly burned beyond even finding his body. The grass dried up from hunger and thirst had thoroughly served as kindling.

“What do you mean by that now?”

“Exactly what you heard.”

At my indifferent reply, the count’s mouth fell open. It made sense since he had suddenly heard curse-like words. I had expected as much, but I soon grew bored with the reaction that didn’t deviate even an inch from expectations. Having achieved my original purpose of seeing Father, I no longer felt a reason to stay.

“By the way, it seems the count was right earlier. My body is fatigued and I can no longer sit, so I’ll take my leave first, Your Highness.”

There was no need to wait for permission. Anyway, I was a meaningless decoration like a borrowed sack of barley, so no one stopped me.

I left the meeting hall as is. Even knowing the gaze tenaciously following my back was yours, I didn’t look back. I wasn’t curious about the reason either. I was more interested in what would happen afterward. Would the young count die this time too? Or the countess? Or would both only save their lives?

The main building’s meeting room was located at the building’s edge, making it easy to enter and exit. Pass through the door, go through a short corridor, and it connects directly to the west entrance.

I boarded the waiting carriage and headed straight to the annex. If the main building was a space for work, the annex was a private space thoroughly separated from the main building. Past grand dukes also mostly resided in the annex, strictly separating public and private matters. You and I also nested here from the start following custom.

The grand ducal couple’s bedroom located on the annex’s top floor was very spacious, connecting three rooms. It was structured with a reception room in the middle and bedrooms arranged with doors opened on both sides. Thanks to that, we could come and go to each other’s beds anytime if we wanted, so every night we would alternately burrow into each other’s blankets.

I still remember the hot embrace that held me at dawn.

The moist lips sliding over skin and the large hands gripping thighs. You endlessly surging in to fill me. The suffocating heat, the exhilaration like wings sprouting on my spine, soaring without restraint then suddenly collapsing with breath stopped.

Ah, Odil!

I loved so much the way you caressed me. Every time your palm, roughened with calluses and hardened by sword scrapes, gently swept down over my skin. It felt like the scars on your hands transferred to me, engraving an indelible brand that would never be erased.

Yes. And I remain here again, captivated by that brand. Your bed has long lost its owner, but I often cannot forget old memories and warm this place alone. Even at the very time you are warming the princess’s bed.

Thinking of that small, pretty face of the princess who would be lying beside you, uncontrollable murderous intent surged up. But I swear I couldn’t do anything. Because I wanted Arthur at least to obtain the royal title unblemished. I endured because the princess’s decline could become Arthur’s fate.

So perhaps what Father was blamed for was actually my secret sin.

“Your Grace.”

“Father.”

So when I saw Father again, I couldn’t continue speaking. Such a person, just because of me alone. I couldn’t raise my eyes from guilt. Even though I called for him, I couldn’t dare open my mouth and fretted anxiously. I was as sorry as I had missed him, and wanted to flee as much as I was sorry.

However, I couldn’t just wait forever like this.

“I—”

“Father.”

At the suddenly overlapping voices, I hurriedly rolled my lips inward and bit them. So what was bound to come has come. Whatever I hear, I deserve it. With that feeling, I closed both eyes tightly.

“Are you alright?”

So at first I thought I had misheard. However, Father’s calm expression proved it wasn’t a delusion. A face with no reproach, no contempt.

“That.”

In the midst of it, my lips opened and closed on their own. What should I say? All sorts of thoughts tangled noisily in my head and I couldn’t get my bearings. In any case, this wasn’t the situation I had expected. No, I hadn’t even dared to. Because to myself, I was nothing more or less than a sinner to Father.

If I had gone mad, I should have left alone, what business did I have dragging down my household too? Though I wasn’t the one who actually swung the blade, I was definitely the one who provided the pretext. The terrible downfall was already buried in the past, but it remained vivid only in my memory, endlessly gnawing at my conscience. So this shouldn’t be. Really, this shouldn’t be.

“……No. I’m not alright, Father.”

Without knowing what possessed me, words came out ahead. Then I flustered, thinking “oh no.” That’s not it. Just as I was about to add that excuse, I saw Father’s face.

But it’s really strange, isn’t it? Strangely, that face wasn’t unfamiliar. Being blood relatives, there would naturally be resemblances, but it was a sense of kinship slightly different from the features. Yes. I definitely knew that face from seeing it. In the mirror, inside the darkened glass at midnight, that very face I had encountered so countless times. That was right across from me now.

So I knew. The helplessness and anger and concern and regret Father must be feeling now. Ah, how could I not know that? I too was a parent, if only briefly!

Was that why? Simultaneously with recognition, I was sincerely relieved at Father’s ignorance, not anticipating at all that I would understand such things. What parent in this world would take pleasure in their child’s grief? Hadn’t I too once been grateful that Arthur didn’t know such shame?

“Then.”

“……?”

“What can I do for you?”

But is this person really the Father I know? I was confused. Actually, it was a natural question. I believed without doubt that if integrity were molded into a person, it would be Father. Someone who never handled work carelessly, who would never speak words he couldn’t keep even as a joke.

But, such words from Father’s mouth? It sounded exactly like a pledge to fulfill whatever I wished.

“Don’t make such frightening jokes. What if the household suffers harm from baseless accusations?”

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t shaken for a moment. I awkwardly changed the subject to resist that impulse. I had no desire whatsoever to recreate the past tragedy, I disciplined myself thus.

It had some effect. That is, if not for Father’s next words.

“I don’t need honor gained by trampling you.”

“……!”

Father was someone who never once dropped honorifics after I became grand duchess. Even when I asked several times saying it was burdensome, he stubbornly insisted on using respectful speech to the point where even Mother clicked her tongue. But why speak so bluntly now of all times? It was natural that the malice and desire covering my flesh raised their heads stealthily.

No.

I desperately scattered my thoughts. Insane thing. Stupid Resetti! Isn’t losing that much enough? What more will you ruin with your petty vengefulness!

……But, why not?

Really, I truly hadn’t intended this. I simply wanted to see Father again. I had a few requests, but they weren’t even things that would harm the household. I had no intention whatsoever of repeating mistakes like this again. I swear.

However, the wish that led me here, the destructive desire that raised me up again after I collapsed on the cold tombstone finally flicked its wicked tongue at my ear. Why? Why not? This time, you could just ask her to kill that woman, couldn’t you?

I was tempted. Yes, it really seemed like that would work.

So I asked.

“If…… I asked you to kill the princess.”

“Do you have a plan in mind?”

The answer was quick. It was even swift, like he’d been waiting. Thanks to that, I regained my reason too. My mind snapped to attention like someone who had a bucket of ice water dumped over them in winter.

Crazy b*tch.

That was my first thought. And in the place where fierce self-reproach passed, some hypothesis hazily arose. Perhaps. So perhaps, Father’s crime might not have been only their slander or falsehood.

My Odil.

I had thought the household’s downfall was entirely due to others’ schemes. I hadn’t even considered any other possibilities. I had only thought that my secret wish to harm the princess materialized as malice and destroyed Father.

But what if. What if there really was an ‘attempt’? What if the public rumor about trying to poison the princess wasn’t just a rumor? By that time, the duchy had already fallen more than half into Gorgon’s hands, so if that were true, it would be natural that you couldn’t save Father.

However, I wasn’t certain whether this was really the right thought. Perhaps even this was a tenacious lingering attachment, still not wanting to believe you truly betrayed me. Herot, who had quietly entered, placed a tray on the table and left, giving me a moment to catch my breath.