Despite his intense gaze, the voice that emerged from his lips was quite cold.

Just as I wondered what he was trying to say, he carefully asked,

“I assume it’s the same for Black Rose. Am I wrong?”

I started to answer but closed my lips. As he said, the collaboration between the two brands had brought Black Rose much honor and money.

It also publicly confirmed to everyone that House Esteban was backing me.

This not only elevated my position in social circles but also sparked rumors.

“Anyone can see that La Fleur contributed more, while Black Rose just sat back and reaped the benefits.”

“Aren’t La Fleur and Black Rose in completely different leagues? How can you even compare them?”

“The collaboration sold well because the result was unique, but if it had been just Black Rose, more people wouldn’t have bought it, right?”

“Duchess Ophelia, a divorcee throwing her weight around by using her family’s name—it’s truly pathetic.”

Perhaps that’s why. What I knew to be a statement he would never make with any particular meaning sounded different to me.

“Why are you specifically mentioning this now?”

“……”

“Are you trying to tell me I should be grateful for picking up the crumbs?”

Assel’s eyes widened. After being frozen and unable to speak for a while, he finally uttered in an incredulous voice,

“Whatever I say… that’s not what I meant.”

“Well, I understand. You’re slowly reminding me of the debt I owe you, ultimately trying to prevent me from leaving.”

“……”

“But what can you do? I know our contract only has 6 years left.”

Assel’s expression crumpled terribly. Why? Even though I was the one hurting him, my heart burned painfully at his expression.

But strangely, I couldn’t stop speaking.

“You said you would help me before, right? No, I don’t need your help. In this contractual relationship, just give me back exactly what I give you, and only what we initially promised.”

“……”

“And when I become the family head, I’ll compensate you properly for that. Whether it’s family assets or whatever direction you want.”

I thought my chest would feel lighter after saying those words, but somehow the complexity only grew. I thought I might regret it, but I didn’t want to take back my words either.

After all, it was something I would have had to bring up eventually.

“……”

Assel didn’t respond. He just looked at me with hurt eyes before speaking as if unaffected,

“You don’t seem to be in good condition today.”

“……”

“I’ll take my leave now. I think I’ve bothered you unnecessarily.”

Eventually, Assel trudged toward the door and soon disappeared from the room, leaving me alone to bite my lip unconsciously.

My headache had worsened since earlier. So much that I couldn’t even focus on a single word in the documents.

❀❀❀

The morning after my confrontation with Assel, I was at the Crown Princess’s palace.

“Have you been well?”

Perhaps Estelia’s desire to be friends with me was sincere. No, it must have been sincere.

I might be overthinking it, but she truly seemed to need a friend because she was bored.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t call for me so frequently.

‘She seems to summon me almost twice a week……’

But I didn’t entirely dislike her calls. The Crown Princess’s palace was subtly permeated with a refreshing scent similar to Estelia’s.

Also, sitting across from her at the reception room table, brilliant sunlight would pierce through the windows, allowing me to savor a strange leisure just by sitting still.

And above all—

“We met just three days ago, yet you speak as if it’s been a month.”

“True friends are always happy to see each other, no matter when.”

I liked her unique energy. That energy that transformed everything positively.

And as I continued listening to her words, had I been brainwashed? I truly began to feel that our relationship was like friendship.

Like friends so close that I might spill any secret if I let my guard down for a moment.

“By the way, you seem to have lost weight since I last saw you.”

The moment I heard Estelia’s words, I flinched involuntarily. I remembered hearing similar words from Assel and getting angry. Should I be thankful that my mind is clearer now because I’ve been sleeping well?

I smiled, and seeing me, the Crown Princess frowned even more. An expression suggesting she didn’t like what she saw.

“Are you sleeping properly? Are you eating well?”

“……”

“……Hmm, saying this makes me feel like I’ve become a grandmother.”

Estelia, who had been pouring out questions, muttered this and suddenly burst into a hollow laugh.

“……”

Perhaps because I had skipped meals and hadn’t slept properly for the past few days, I felt weak and became dazed while pondering what to answer. Seeing me like this, Estelia shook her head.

“I wonder if I called you out unnecessarily, but if I had left you alone, you might have collapsed in a corner of your office.”

“……I apologize.”

She shook her head again.

“I didn’t ask for an apology; I’m saying this out of concern.”

“……”

“Come to think of it, lately, when I see you, you look like someone being chased.”

Why? Suddenly, Estelia’s seemingly innocent remark pierced my heart like a dagger. So accurately that it stung.

“……Which part made you feel that way?”

“Before, I liked your relaxed and composed demeanor, and I was drawn to that.”

“……”

“But lately, you’re, well, like a racehorse with blinders on.”

“……”

“Is something happening these days?”

But why? Perhaps because I was tired and more easily swept up in emotions, looking at Estelia asking with concerned eyes, emotions welled up from within me uncontrollably.

To the point where I wanted to spill all my secrets.

And to some extent, I couldn’t resist that impulse.

“……I’m just a bit confused.”

“About what?”

“It might sound academic, but I wonder why I live—that kind of thought.”

I paused and stared into space. I thought I might be saying unnecessary things, but I felt I needed to vent these stifling feelings to someone. It seemed like the only way to breathe a little easier.

“I’m clearly living to be happy, and doing things to be happy, but I’m not happy at all.”

“……”

“But now, I don’t have the courage to stop, and I don’t even know what I want to do.”

“……Hmm.”

After pouring out my concerns incoherently, I felt a strange sense of relief, though I also wondered if I had said too much.

Estelia gazed at me with a thoughtful look for a while before finally speaking,

“Did something happen with the Duke?”

“……What?”

And at her words, I involuntarily froze.

“Your surprise confirms it. Did you fight with the Duke over work?”

I was even more surprised by her follow-up question. It was as if she had seen right through me.

Had she planted a spy somewhere?

I wanted to ask how she knew, and perhaps that desire showed on my face. Estelia grinned and said,

“It’s obvious. If you work that much, the other person would feel lonely. That boy often gets sulky too.”

“……Ah.”

Come to think of it, I had forgotten that Estelia was also in a relationship. Perhaps being in love makes one more perceptive in these matters?

“Anyway, was my guess correct?”

At Estelia’s question, which seemed to seek confirmation, I thought for a moment and then nodded. Somehow, I felt I could tell her.

“You have good intuition.”

“But why are you working so much?”

Estelia asked with puzzlement at my answer.

“Black Rose is already one of the top fashion brands in the capital.”

“……”

“Wouldn’t it be okay to have some leisure?”

“……”

Estelia was right. In reality, there was no reason for me not to have leisure.

It wasn’t that work was urgent or that I needed money desperately. But that was just the surface state.

I was looking at a more distant future. Specifically, the future that would unfold after my divorce from Assel.

Originally, I had planned to use his power to become the family head after the divorce. I wanted to stand completely on my own.

I thought that while those without power are criticized, those with power are not.

But there was something I hadn’t anticipated. Even with power, as long as I remained under the shadow of a man like Assel Esteban, I couldn’t avoid gossip.

No, perhaps due to the even worse gossip than before, I had such a thought. I wanted to become the family head through my own power, not just through Assel Esteban.

So I made my best effort. I immersed myself frantically in the trading company.

But the more effort I put in, the more work I embraced, until I finally reached the point of suffocation in the present.

Honestly, I didn’t know.

What was I struggling so hard for?

Rationally thinking, it makes sense to prepare thoroughly for independence from now on. It makes sense to draw a line with Assel and act coldly.

But is that really what I want?

I was confused. Terribly confused.

“Now I don’t know what to do.”

Perhaps due to the frustration that suddenly surged, I even blurted out such words without realizing it.

“I just don’t want to live as a shadow, relying on his name. I’m sick of people treating me like a parasite of House Esteban.”

After hearing my words, Estelia remained silent for a while as if in thought, and only after a considerable time had passed did she speak,

“So that’s what happened. It’s a feeling anyone might have, as a human.”

“……”

“And perhaps that might be the right path for you… but if I may offer some hasty advice, the people of this world are very busy with their own affairs.”

“……”

“The attention they give you doesn’t even account for a speck of their concern.”

As she said this, Estelia’s gaze settled calmly. It felt unfamiliar, quite different from her usual playful demeanor.

But it wasn’t unpleasant. Strangely, it felt supportive. After all, it’s rare to find someone who would seriously consider my problems like this.

Of course, there was Assel, but I couldn’t ask him about issues concerning him.

“So you don’t need to be too bound by those gazes. Especially if they’re consuming the important things in your life.”

“……”

“But there’s no guarantee that a relationship once gone will ever return. Cherishing the present opportunity and holding onto it desperately is the only answer to maintaining a relationship.”

Estelia’s words hit me like a blow to the back of the head, making my mind go blank. She was right. I had been misjudging the value of things.

The gaze of others was more important to me than anything else. That’s why I had worked so hard to establish the trading company two years ago and constantly pushed myself.

As if there were no other important goals in life.

If asked whether that’s still the case now, well… my passion remains unchanged, but whether it truly matters, I had no answer.

“Mom, don’t be sick.”

“Levedi, I’m always on your side.”

Is it really worth struggling so hard for, even at the cost of giving these up?

Right now, my mind was overloaded and I couldn’t come up with an answer, but I had a stronger feeling that it wasn’t.

“……What does it mean to hold on desperately? Isn’t being too obsessive not good either?”

“It means being honest.”

“……”

“It’s not that difficult. If you love, say you love; if you want to be together, express that you want to be together. Separate from obsession, that is.”

I tilted my head.

“If I want to be with someone, does that mean I love them?”

“Usually, yes. If it’s a friend, it’s friendship; if it’s between a man and woman, it’s love. But why are you asking me this? You should know.”

Her question, as if asking why I didn’t know something so obvious for a married person, left me momentarily speechless.

But somehow feeling that I could trust the person before me, I smiled and said,

“Actually, I’m not sure either. What love is.”

“Hmm, then let me ask just one thing. Can you die for that person?”

“……”

“If you can’t die for them, it’s probably mere romantic feelings; if you think you could die for them, that’s love. At least, that’s what I think.”

❀❀❀

On the way back after meeting Estelia, I was sitting in the carriage looking at the passing scenery when I closed the curtain.

Simultaneously, as the light was removed, the carriage interior was instantly dyed in darkness. But I didn’t mind the darkness. I needed time alone to think because my mind was complicated.

“If you can’t die for them, it’s probably mere romantic feelings; if you think you could die for them, that’s love.”

Estelia’s words kept circling in my mind.

Do I truly love Assel Esteban? If I were to simply consider whether I or not I like him as a man, it would obviously be the former, but love is a separate matter.

‘Honestly, I’m not sure.’

Are we deep enough in our relationship that I would die for him? Do I love him that much?

‘It just seems like romantic feelings.’

Unfortunately, I couldn’t be certain. But Estelia’s words weren’t unhelpful.

‘She told me to be honest with my feelings.’

She’s right. People live to be happy, and if the goal conflicts with happiness, it’s worth questioning whether it’s right.

And also the fact that I’ve been living too conscious of others’ gazes.

‘Maybe it wouldn’t be bad to somewhat let go and be honest.’

Come to think of it, our relationship was quite strange. Despite kissing and sharing our bodies, neither of us had mentioned love.

Perhaps that’s why Estelia’s words resonated more.

“But there’s no guarantee that a relationship once gone will ever return. Cherishing the present opportunity and holding onto it desperately is the only answer to maintaining a relationship.”

It occurred to me that if this situation continued, he might leave. Strangely, my heart fluttered at the thought.

As I realized this wasn’t just my imagination, the fluttering grew stronger.

Though I couldn’t identify the nature of this fluttering, which was too intense to be mere unfamiliarity, one thing was certain:

I needed to see Assel first.

Somehow, I felt I would find the answer when I faced him.

❀❀❀

The carriage eventually reached its destination, the Esteban mansion. When I first saw it, I gaped at its grandeur, but now that sight was familiar.

With this renewed appreciation, I passed through the main gate and headed toward the entrance, but something felt strange about the mansion’s atmosphere.

In particular, there was a woman pacing continuously at the entrance. As if waiting for my arrival.

‘Who is that?’

The carriage was still quite far from where the woman was, so I couldn’t identify her.

But as the carriage approached the entrance, I could recognize who she was.

‘Sherry?’

Why is Sherry outside? And pacing with such anxious steps.

Could something have happened at the mansion?

Sure enough, as soon as the carriage stopped and I opened the door to get out, Sherry hurriedly approached me.

Like someone who had been waiting only for my arrival.

“Madam, you’ve arrived!”

It was the same question as usual, but her gaze and voice conveyed urgency.

“Has something happened…?”

“Well, that’s…”

Sherry tried to answer but scanned the surroundings and then whispered softly so only I could hear,

“Let’s go inside, let’s talk inside!”

❀❀❀

“Quickly, let’s go quickly.”

Sherry, who had never done this before, was unusually insistent today. Sensing that something was definitely wrong, I followed her words and quickly moved toward my office.

Like Assel’s office, mine was also well soundproofed.

Upon reaching the room, I sent out the servants, leaving only Sherry and me in the room.