The wet mop left a sparkling shine wherever it passed, polished so thoroughly you could practically hear the squeaky-clean sound just by looking at it.

In that sense, cleaning really did seem like an activity that benefited the human spirit. You could reflect on the value of labor, and watching things become spotless made your heart feel cleaner too…

“Clean my *ss!”

I huffed and slammed the mop I was holding onto the floor. I’d tried to brainwash myself into pushing through, but irritation surged up and I couldn’t hold it back.

“Why the hell do I have to do this!”

At first, I was deeply moved by this dreamlike reality and bowed high toward the heavens twice in the morning and three times in the evening.

A commoner-born person like me who never even attended the Academy could become Archmage Haliven’s disciple!

On top of that, my master wasn’t just someone who knew a bit of magic. He had tremendous achievements that put him among the “100 Great Mages Who Changed the World,” and countless people had been saved by his research. 

Beyond his natural talent, he was a tireless worker, with endless stories about how he wouldn’t emerge from his secret workshop for the sake of his studies.

That such a master would break through the Mage Tower’s opposition—those who cited legitimacy to oppose me—and insist on taking me as his disciple. Saying he’d leave the Mage Tower if he couldn’t, or something like that.

So I thought, until exactly six months ago, that there could be no more successful life than this. But sadly, the reality I faced was different from my expectations.

These narrow-minded nobles, more petty than a snail’s shell!

First, the nobles expressed considerable hostility toward a commoner-born person who’d never attended the Academy wandering around the sacred Mage Tower. 

Insults when we crossed paths were routine, and they continued with harassment so trivial it was annoying. The worst of them all was Crateon’s gang.

“Hey guys, doesn’t it smell like trash around here?”

“Ugh, that nauseating slum stench! Such a foul odor in the sacred Mage Tower.”

“Should we do some cleaning while we’re at it? Gotta do good deeds sometimes.”

They giggled and pushed me into the pond, or poured food over my head, claiming they’d make trash look like trash.

They only do things as petty and mean as they are.

Even in such unjust situations, I couldn’t openly get angry or fight back. Because even though we were all mages of the same tower, they were nobles and I was just a commoner.

“How’s that, commoner? Nobles like us personally cleaning up trash for you. Grateful, aren’t you?”

“…I’m so honored I could die.”

But that wasn’t the only problem. Due to the nature of the Mage Tower, you had to produce results on your magical research at least once every six months. Even when I asked about research perspectives, many who thought poorly of me wouldn’t speak to me.

And Archmage Haliven, who should have been my support, disappeared on the very first day I became his disciple, clearly showing his displeasure.

“…Irritating.”

It was truly unfair. All I’d done that day was offer a greeting in a trembling voice. I’d been so polite that even now, I couldn’t think of any mistake I’d made.

But sadly, I hadn’t been able to see my master again since that day. I visited his personal workshop and wandered the Mage Tower all day, but couldn’t find a single trace of him.

“Surely he doesn’t regret taking me as a disciple now?”

Of course, I couldn’t say I didn’t understand that either. Several times a day I wondered what he’d seen in me that made him want to take me as a disciple.

I wasn’t particularly good at magic like others. All I’d done was borrow books to read and study, so my magical skills were quite unstable.

For example, I once helped my close friend Clea transform into a flying squirrel to support her one-sided crush. Apparently the guy she liked was fond of flying squirrels or something. 

I told her several times before casting the spell that it wouldn’t work, but I couldn’t break Clea’s stubbornness, so I eventually cast the magic and she suffered tremendous side effects.

Of all things, she turned into a flying squirrel in heat!

To turn her back to normal, I studied nullification magic day and night and eventually succeeded. 

My magical power increased by several levels after that, but that was all. Even thinking back, I didn’t have any particular talents.

“I can’t help being like this, but isn’t that so-called Archmage being too irresponsible?”

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. With my master being like this, I had nowhere to lean on in this bleak and cold den of mages. Enemies surrounded me on all sides, and everyone was dying to kick me out.

Because of that, I couldn’t even go to the communal research lab where the other noble lords were, and spent every single day just cleaning my absent master’s personal workshop.

“What do I do? If I don’t produce research results this time, the support funds from the Mage Tower will be cut off…”

I wanted to run out of this worthless tower right now, but I had four younger siblings below me. At this rate, my fate would be one of two things: either the research support funds would be cut off and my family would starve to death, or I’d be kicked out of the Mage Tower first.

“But there’s still some time left until the next results are due, right? In the meantime, I’ll find my master’s secret research lab and beg him to please help me.”

I picked up the mop I’d slammed on the floor and let out a long breath. Once I’d regained some composure, I continued cleaning.

But today, the white bird ornament on the desk looked particularly dirty. Since I was cleaning anyway, might as well do it thoroughly. I scrubbed the ornament squeaky-clean with the mop I was holding.

But I must have used too much force, because with a cracking sound, the slender bird’s neck snapped right off. Flustered, I tried to reattach it, but the broken neck wouldn’t go back.

“Wh-what? Why is this happening?”

It looked like a pretty expensive ornament. I was wondering if I could even afford to pay for this when suddenly a magic circle appeared around the bird ornament I was holding, accompanied by bright light.

「Activation phrase. The miserable end of a bird that cannot fly」

Screech, screech, screech!

A bird’s cry filled with sorrow echoed through the room. Someone must have cast magic on that bird ornament, but I was truly baffled by what kind of insane person would create an activation phrase like that.

After a while, when the bird’s cries stopped, there came a rumbling crash, and this time the bookshelves started dancing on their own. Round and round. Then round and round again. At some point, a huge door appeared before my eyes.

The eerie-looking brown door creaked open. Inside, a pitch-black space rippled, looking bottomless.

What should I do?

Most likely, the person who cast this magic was my master. But then again, given how bizarre the activation phrase was, it could also be a trap set by another mage targeting my master.

If it was the former, I might find something related to my master, but if it was the latter, it might be a subspace I could never return from.

After deliberating, I cast a tracking spell I’d studied before. My magic was unpredictable so I had to be careful, but I judged that a tracking spell should be fine.

—Screeeech!

But all too sadly, the paper crane I’d tried to create appeared in a grotesque form, like a lizard and earthworm sewn together.

“Aaaaah!”

It was a horrifying sight I never could have imagined. As it trembled and took one step at a time, the strange paper crane dripped yellow fl*id. Its eyes looking at me seemed filled with resentment.

“S-sorry. My abilities are lacking…”

The creature let out another bizarre cry.

—Screeeech!

My ears hurt. Though I felt bad, I had to make it enter that subspace in my place, as originally intended. But when I gave the command, it snorted haughtily.

“Are you refusing my order right now? What the hell!”

When I got angry, it turned its head sharply the other way. Then it scattered ash and disappeared. Was it saying that disappearing was better than following my orders? It was an incredible shock.

“At this point, I have no choice but to go see for myself…”

My siblings’ faces flickered through my mind. If I couldn’t come back, they’d be sad. My family would have to let me go without even knowing why.

But life didn’t go according to my wishes. If you wanted to gain something, you had to have the courage to let go of something else. I’d overcome crises worse than this several times before, hadn’t I?

“Let’s just go. I just need to come back alive somehow, right?”

Hoping that the space before me was my master’s secret workshop, I took a step forward.

* * *

Sticky darkness filled all sides. It was so quiet I felt like I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears. Suppressing my churning stomach, I moved forward.

Then at some point, a burst of bright light exploded. When I opened my eyes again, I was already in a different space.

“This is…”

One fortunate thing was that there was nothing immediately life-threatening. But there were things even more bizarre and shocking scattered all around.

If my eyes weren’t wrong, these were toys that lovers used when making love.

Why on earth are these here?

Maybe it was a device to inflict psychological shock on intruders. If that was the intention, it was half successful. Just looking at them made me feel mentally hazy.

I need to pull myself together and figure out where this is first.

Everywhere I looked was full of hideous objects. My face naturally scrunched up. It might be different if they were at least beautiful in appearance. These were toys that resembled t*rture devices.

The first thing that caught my eye was a pineapple leaf-shaped d*ldo. Dense, sharp leaves protruded all around a man’s important parts. It seemed like you’d insert that inside to use it, but just imagining it made me feel tremendous pain.

“Ugh…! They wouldn’t even do this to criminals.”

Right next to it was a tiger shadow about the size of a human body, with precautions written in tiny letters so small you could barely see them.

“Since wild instincts are alive, your head might get ripped off during s*x and you wouldn’t even know…? What does this even mean?”

There were also pseudo-genitals with five heads and wasabi-flavored gel. Absurd tools were endlessly displayed, but I didn’t even want to talk about them anymore.

“There’s no way my master would conduct research in a place like this. I must have accidentally fallen into a lunatic mage’s workshop…”

Actually, at this point, I thought I could guess the identity of this lunatic mage. I’d briefly worked at a shop that sold adult toys before, and a famous figure from that place came to mind.

His name was “Kozarni Jorunia.” 

Obviously a pseudonym, but even the name itself was truly hideous. Every toy he made was bizarre and terrible, making him a blacklist figure to avoid in that industry.

I can’t get involved with someone this insane!

The thought of escaping this place immediately filled my head. Even if I ended up falling somewhere strange, I felt like I had to take the risk and use magic this time. 

Maybe because I was flustered, the magic formulas didn’t come to mind right away either.

“What, what was it again…?”

But even after reciting the incantation and closing and opening my eyes, I was still standing in the lunatic mage’s workshop. I felt strangely empty somewhere, so I checked my body. Then the clothes I’d been wearing vanished completely.

“You’ve got to be kidding…!”

This utterly useless magic. It had left me in this brutal place and only transported my clothes. By now, the ownerless clothes were probably resting comfortably alone in my quarters.

“Should I be grateful it at least left my underwear?”

I couldn’t stay n*ked like this, so I looked for something to wrap around myself in place of my vanished clothes. But where was this? This was the workshop of the lunatic pervert mage Kozarni Jorunia.

The only thing that looked remotely wearable was a semi-transparent April apron that showed everything underneath. Even wearing this wouldn’t hide my body in just underwear, but it at least gave me the sense of security that I was wearing something.

“This d*mn workshop. I’m getting out of here right now!”

The workshop interior was quite spacious. However, it was a structure completely blocked on all sides without a single window. There was exactly one door I could use to escape. To get out, I had to go beyond that.

I took cautious steps. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t afraid. That lunatic mage Kozarni Jorunia might be there. On top of that, it was questionable whether he’d let me, who’d invaded his territory, live unharmed.