Why was that woman so desperate? A Nullification mage who was even rejected by other mages, no less.

When you have no strength, you just fall down. When your heart hurts, you just sit down right there. When reality you don’t want to see torments you, you just close your eyes and refuse to listen—that solves everything.

‘But what is she doing all that for?’

For a moment, I recalled what Chesi had said. That terrible day when Mother’s life was taken. The memory of that moment when he took both my despair and heart.

[This is a deal with nothing bad about it. I’ll take your despair instead. If you do that, your heart won’t hurt.]

“If I do that, it won’t hurt anymore?”

[Of course. But you must not escape from the despair I created. If you break the promise, you’ll suffer the agony of your heart burning up and eventually die.]

That woman was like death coming for me. But suddenly I became curious. Whether that woman could really neutralize Chesi’s power. And whether she could really let me escape the despair Chesi spoke of.

This was the start of new research with myself as the price. For someone facing death, my heart felt strangely light. Oddly enough, this time I felt like I could find the destination I’d never reached before.

“What did you just say?”

* * *

Memories from the past surfaced belatedly. Is this what they call your life flashing before your eyes? Looking back, my life before meeting Luina was nothing but an empty shell living without will or purpose.

I thought I’d escaped despair thanks to Chesi, but that place was my true despair. After meeting her, emotions I didn’t know began seeping into my heart one by one. I couldn’t refuse or run away. The warmth I’d never felt before was too sweet.

Like a fool, only now could I understand the meaning of love Johnny spoke of. It was the one and only light and hope in my life. And the only greed I wanted to dream of.

‘If I knew I’d regret it like this, I should have told her I loved her.’

Then I saw Luina’s face looking at me with disbelieving eyes. She didn’t even move, seemingly forgetting to breathe.

Come to think of it, I’d fallen into Alfranz’s trap and had my heart pierced. I heard the chilling sound of something sharp exiting through flesh. Blood gushed from my mouth.

“No… no…!”

This is why I tried to come alone. Their target from the start wasn’t Luina but me. This trap was probably made to target me too. Besides, I was someone about to die anyway.

“Ahhhhh! Ahhh…!”

An anguished scream burst from Luina’s mouth. My body slowly tilted downward. Seeing your face in such agony for the last time hurt my heart. Urgent footsteps followed.

“No, Master. Please, please don’t die….”

Who knows what dangers might still remain? You should run away alone instead. That’s why I left you the magical tools. Even in this moment, I worried about you being left alone.

Just as my eyes were slowly closing, a bright light burst from inside my shattered heart. Something warm filled it. And it began beating violently.

Thump thump thump—.

The warm heat that had disappeared beyond memory lingered. It wasn’t the mechanical heart but my real heart. The heart that regained its owner rapidly spread magic throughout my entire body.

The magic that had disappeared filled my whole body. Compared to Chesi’s power it was nothing, but this alone was enough. If this was another chance given to me, I would gladly accept it.

“Wh…at?”

Alfranz, who had been drunk on joy, couldn’t hide his flustered appearance when I stood up again. He couldn’t escape now. This space itself was his shell.

I deployed a magic circle. Just one attack would do. Like Mother’s book, there must have been a medium through which he could obtain Chesi’s power. Then I saw a sparkling ruby buried in the floor.

‘That’s it…!’

I drew out the last handful of magic I had. My power had definitely weakened compared to before. But this alone was enough. I poured my attack toward the ruby sunk in the floor.

“N… no…! Don’t…!”

Alfranz wailed pathetically. But my attack had already reached the ruby. Crack. The medium shattered into a miserable state with a brutal sound.

For a moment, the world stopped. Luina running toward me, Alfranz in despair. A quiet silence descended like nothing had happened from the start. And before me was the black cat Chesi, smiling at me. He approached me with an inscrutable smile.

“What exactly are you scheming?”

[What?]

“Your tricks can’t end this anticlimactically.”

[Well, sometimes I do things like this.]

The Heretic of the Gods and the Plague of the World. That thing was a god that fed on human despair. Such a creature wouldn’t do anything beneficial to humans.

Now the precious thing remaining to me was Luina. I didn’t want to lose this to that creature. I shouted at him with rising anxiety.

“What’s the price? What will you take from me this time?”

[Nothing.]

“Nothing? That can’t be.”

[Someone else already paid the price for your share.]

“What…?”

Someone else paying the price for my share? 

Such a thing didn’t exist in this world. Seeing my disbelief, Chesi explained once more.

[Actually, I’m not the planner of this stage. I just helped with the direction.]

“What does that even….”

Even then, I couldn’t understand what Chesi was saying. But he didn’t seem to intend to make me understand from the start. If we parted like this, who knows when we’d meet again.

“Don’t go! At least explain something…!”

[Before long, you’ll meet me again. See you soon, Haliven.]

With those faint words, the stopped time flowed again. Alfranz, whose medium was destroyed, writhed in pain before scattering as black smoke. The trembling of the Mage Tower that seemed about to collapse had also stopped.

Luina stopped before me. Her face was a mess from flowing tears. Her eyes and nose were swollen and flushed red. Even that appearance was lovely.

And her beautiful emerald eyes reached me. She glared at me for a long time, seemingly gathering all the resentment existing in this world.

“Why… why are you like this?”

I couldn’t say anything to her voice full of sorrow. If it hadn’t been for my greed from the start, she wouldn’t have hurt this much. I resented myself for being cowardly and selfish to the end.

“Why do you act on your own? Without thinking about the feelings of the person watching…! Who asked Master to save them? Why are you trying to die in my place!”

“…I’m sorry.”

“What exactly are you sorry for?”

My throat choked up and I couldn’t continue speaking. Love. It took too long to fully accept it. It left only scars and departed, so I was afraid to face that emotion again.

“Just… everything….”

At those words, Luina burst into tears again. Watching the sadness of someone you love was truly agonizing. Even more so if it was caused by me.

“I hate Master the most in the world. You liar… why can’t you be honest?”

When I realized the identity of that emotion and wanted to run away, greed had already grown in my heart. But the broken heart kept shattering, and I could clearly picture you grieving before my death, so I couldn’t let you go or hold you and kept hurting you. 

To accept death as it was, these moments together were too happy, so I bound my collapsing heart with magic and continued my pathetic life.

“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault….”

Sobs flowed down as tears. Now even if you think of me terribly, I can’t let you go anymore.

Because I can’t find purpose in life without you. Even if I cling pathetically to your feet, even if I give everything I have, if I just have you, that’s enough for me.

“So… don’t abandon someone like me. I love you so much.”

I ended up crying like a child. Like when Mother left my side. Perhaps I cried even more desperately than that day.

Because something hot kept filling my chest. With the feeling that if I didn’t pour it out right away, it would burst. Without thinking about how I looked, I just let the tears flow as they came.

At my appearance, Luina, who had been crying, opened her eyes wide in surprise. Then she narrowed her eyes and questioned me.

“Why are you suddenly saying such things? You said we’re master and disciple.”

“No, it’s absolutely not like that….”

“Then what is it?”

Her eyes stared straight at me. Those eyes holding bright light sparkled uprightly like when I first saw them.

Perhaps from that time, I knew it would turn out like this and tried to run away. Because to me, love was another name for despair. But now I won’t make such foolish choices.

“We’re lovers.”

Then Luina, with swollen eyes, snapped in a sullen voice. Now that I looked, even the corners of her eyes had turned crooked.

“Says who?”

“Why…?”

“What do you mean why? Don’t you have a conscience, Master? After making me suffer so much. Did you think I’d like you right away if you said such things?”

I had nothing to say to her sharp criticism. I was the sinner. If I had any conscience, I shouldn’t say anything. When I lowered my head with a darkened face, her scathing voice continued.

“You won’t make strange toys anymore either. So if you need a disciple, find someone other than me.”

That didn’t matter anymore. From the start, the destination I’d been searching for wasn’t such meaningless toys. It was love.

If I could just keep you by my side, I’d be fine never doing research again for the rest of my life. Worried she might leave me right away, I hurriedly grabbed Luina.

“I don’t need another assistant. If you don’t like it, I won’t do that anymore either. So just stay by my side. Please….”

Then Luina glanced at me. Still, she seemed in a better mood than before. She pondered for a moment, then whispered in a smaller voice.

“Then kiss me first. After that, I’ll think more about what to do.”

There was no need to hesitate. I grabbed her and kissed her lips. Every moment that passed felt precious, like a kiss after a long time.

I even worried what if this moment was a dream? Perhaps I was still dreaming an impossible dream inside the despair Chesi created.

But the warmth I felt before my eyes, the sweetness touching my whole body told me it wasn’t a dream. I ended the regretful kiss and looked at her with hazy, unfocused eyes.

“Wh-why did you suddenly stop?”

She looked noticeably disappointed. The emerald eyes holding warm heat, the two flushed cheeks, and those lips that used to hide love from me—there wasn’t a single part that wasn’t lovely.

“Just. Because I like you so much.”

There were still so many things I couldn’t understand. What was the planner Chesi mentioned, and who was the person who paid the price instead of me?

But one thing was certain. I would be with my loved one from now on. And at the end of that, happiness I’d never felt would be waiting for me.