Chapter 98

“I don’t care about the name of the emotion I feel right now.”  

Usher raised his head. His face, wet with tears, was sorrowful. The purple eyes, soaked with moisture, carried a persistent sadness.  

“The only thing that matters is that if you leave me like this, you’ll never come back.”  

“I’m tired of hurting others, Usher.”  

“I’m alright.”  

Usher knew Eleanor couldn’t completely push him away. Just as she felt guilty for abandoning Logan, she also felt guilt for not fully waiting for him.  

“I hurt you this time, too.”  

“…”  

“But I’ve never waited three years like you have, so this time, I’ll wait.”  

“…”  

“I can do it.”  

Usher gently held Eleanor’s hands in both of his and repeated his promise several times.  

“Usher, I…”  

“…”  

“I don’t know if a relationship this full of wounds can truly be called love. Is it really okay for us to be like this—me feeling guilt and you pleading?”  

Eleanor looked down at Usher with a sorrowful expression, feeling despondent.  

“It’s okay. I won’t insist on marrying you.”  

Usher offered to help Eleanor leave Southern, the capital, and even her hometown Kent, where their story had caused such a stir.  

“I don’t mind not being lovers. Just let me stay by your side in any way possible.”  

What was he thinking? If Jane, who had once advised him to live his life, saw him now, she would surely reprimand him. Jane had helped guide his life’s direction, and letting her son, Usher, wander aimlessly was not right.  

“Stand up for now.”  

Eleanor helped Usher to his feet. Even then, his anxious gaze remained fixed on her, and he didn’t let go of her hand.  

“Do as you wish. Let’s go together.”  

Usher’s face brightened with joy.  

“And if your feelings change, leave anytime. I won’t stop you.”  

But the words Eleanor added immediately after erased that joy in an instant.  

“That won’t happen.”  

“…”  

“My feelings won’t change.”  

Usher declared firmly. Eleanor knew this attitude well. She responded with a faint smile, denying his certainty.  

* * *

A few days ago, the Claven Duchy released a statement of clarification. It was both an explanation and a criticism. The Claven Duchy condemned the article, which was more akin to gossip than journalism.  

The statement from the Claven Duchy emphasized that no malicious acts had been committed, nor had Miss Hudson been coerced in any way. The Claven Duchy had merely accepted Miss Hudson’s request for help and did their utmost to provide her with comfort and protection. They gave her time to heal emotionally and shielded her from her father’s coercion. The statement warned that if baseless slander continued even after this clarification, they would take legal action.  

In summary, that was the content.  

“…Hah.”  

Following this, Usher also demanded a correction article, as Eleanor had suggested, stating that the article was baseless. However, Usher’s demand for correction was hardly accepted. For some reason, the article either didn’t appear in the newspaper at all or was published in an obscure corner where few readers would see it.  

Moreover, the fact that the Claven Duchy had issued their clarification first became a problem. Many believed that the Earldom had no choice but to yield to the pressure from the powerful Duchy, which wielded influence not only in Southern but also in the capital.  

“This can’t keep going like this.”  

The clear facts were that Usher had been treated as if he were dead for three years, yet he returned alive; Eleanor had lived as Logan’s fiancée during that time; and upon his return, Usher sought help from the King.  

The imbalance of power between the Claven Duchy and the Fitzman Earldom only fueled suspicion, and the poorly aligned explanations merely bred distrust.  

“…”  

Eleanor closed the newspaper with a dark expression. She had hoped that Usher’s clarification would resolve the situation, but nothing had been resolved. Before leaving Southern, she had wished for everything to end as if nothing had happened.  

If only Usher hadn’t gone to the King and spoken recklessly, Logan’s initial explanation would have sufficed to portray him as a kind and generous friend who had helped his friend’s lover.  

“Stop it, Eleanor Hudson.”  

Every time she thought about it, she found herself resenting Usher. Although he hadn’t directly fabricated the article, it was true that he had gone to the King and caused the situation to spiral out of control.  

“It’s your fault.”  

But when she thought about where things had gone wrong, she realized it was ultimately her own fault. Her choices had led to her becoming Logan’s unfortunate connection in the end.  

Moreover, Usher was now trying his best to fix things. Blaming him alone while ignoring the chain of cause and effect was wrong.  

“What should I do…”  

Her chest felt tight. Eleanor leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes. She no longer wanted to harm Logan in any way. She wished for only good things to come his way in the future.  

So if it was for his happiness and well-being, she had to do something. Eleanor opened her eyes again.  

“I need to end this.”  

Logan and Usher had done everything they could. Yet the problem remained unresolved. It was now time for Eleanor herself to step forward.  

Eleanor finally stood up with a resolute expression. It was impulsive, but she felt it was the most effective method and didn’t want to hesitate.  

“Eleanor.”  

It was then that she heard her name called after a couple of knocks. Eleanor hurriedly unlocked and opened the guest room door.  

“Jane.”  

“Were you about to leave?”  

Come to think of it, she had an appointment with Jane. Foolishly, she had been so lost in her own thoughts that she had forgotten. Eleanor awkwardly smiled.  

“I’m sorry. I forgot about our appointment.”  

Eleanor Hudson—a pitiful woman who, when focused on one thing, completely forgot about another. Eleanor harshly criticized herself.  

“It’s alright. It happens when you’re overwhelmed.”  

But Jane reassured her with a kind smile.  

“Since you’re already ready, let’s go.”  

Jane gestured toward the outside. She seemed to know Eleanor’s usual routine of rarely going out except for classes.  

“Summer’s almost here. The weather’s gotten quite warm.”  

Jane fanned herself briefly with her hand as she spoke. Eleanor faintly smiled and nodded, though she wore a wide-brimmed hat to shield her face.  

“Where were you planning to go, forgetting about our appointment?”  

Jane asked as they settled into a café. Her tone carried no complaint or reproach.  

“The newspaper office.”  

At Eleanor’s answer, Jane let out a short sigh of understanding. She seemed to have guessed Eleanor’s intentions.  

“Were you planning to go to the newspaper office and reveal everything truthfully?”  

At Jane’s question, Eleanor nodded slightly.  

“It’s my fault for having a son who caused you trouble.”  

“That’s not true, Jane.”  

Eleanor quickly responded to Jane’s self-blame.  

“All of this happened not because of Usher, or you, Jane, or His Grace, but because I made the wrong choices.”  

She then bowed her head in self-reproach. Jane’s gaze softened as she looked at Eleanor with pity.  

“From where?”  

Jane asked. Eleanor lifted her head, her eyes darting nervously.  

“From the beginning? If it’s from the beginning, then meeting and choosing Usher would be the regret. If it’s from the middle, then it would be the moment I tied myself to the Claven Duchy.”  

“…”  

Her mouth wouldn’t move. To be honest, if she were truly honest…  

Neither of those moments were regrets. While her presence might have been like a storm or a disaster to them, meeting them had opened her eyes to a new world, made her consider her own worth, and brought her happiness.  

“Stop blaming yourself alone, Eleanor.”  

Jane advised firmly.  

“The sound of applause only comes when two hands meet. No matter how much you wave your hand alone, if it’s just air, there’s no sound.”  

“…”  

“Usher and the Duke of Claven offered choices, and you made your decisions. So they, too, share the responsibility.”  

Jane sighed softly.  

“And it was my son who turned what could have been neatly resolved into a mess. That part is Usher’s fault.”  

She didn’t shy away from criticizing her own son.  

“So if you’re planning to go to the newspaper office, reveal everything honestly. Don’t clumsily make yourself out to be the villain.”  

Jane sincerely advised.  

“Of course, it’s ultimately your decision, Eleanor, so I can’t force you.”  

But in the next moment, Jane shrugged. She knew Eleanor was stubborn. Jane was well aware of that fact.  

“I’ll state my position and leave. With Usher.”  

“Have you decided to choose Usher?”  

Jane asked. Eleanor quietly shook her head.  

“Just as my feelings have changed, I believe Usher’s feelings aren’t the same as before. Love, betrayal, sorrow, hatred…”  

“…”  

“Those complex emotions won’t fade even with time. I’ll live with guilt, and Usher will distrust and doubt me from time to time.”