Sel, now heavily pregnant, was dining with the Emperor in the imperial palace.

The Emperor watched her with concern as she sliced her meat.

“Sel, you must feel heavy being pregnant. Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m doing fine.”

“I heard the former Duke and Duchess of Penhac have been visiting the temple so often, they’re wearing down the steps with their prayers.”

“Prayers?”

“They’re praying for your safe delivery.”

Even after Sel and Lavi’s marriage, Lavi’s parents didn’t visit often.

They feared their presence might interfere with the couple’s married life and cause Lavi to be mistreated.

Whenever she did meet with them, Lady Laila Penhac would burst into tears immediately.

Sel was still receiving thanks for marrying their disappointing son.

“Your due date is near, isn’t it?”

“Yes. It’s tomorrow, but they say firstborns often come late.”

“Still! Is it really okay for you to be out today?”

“It’s fine. Gentle walking and light exercise are actually encouraged.”

“Still, take care of yourself. Your brother worries.”

“……”

“Sel?”

The Emperor tilted his head.

Sel, who had been rubbing her belly, had gone pale.

She slowly stood from her seat.

‘No way… now?’

She felt a warm stream run down her leg.

Her water had broken.

‘Edel definitely told me what to do in this situation…’

But in her panic, her mind went completely blank.

The Emperor, sensing the situation immediately, urgently called for the chamberlain.

“Summon the midwife at once and tell the palace staff to prepare for delivery!”

He even personally named the midwife whose name he had memorized in advance.

Despite his composed command, his face had gone even paler than Sel’s.

“Brother…”

Was it because of the panic? Sel’s legs trembled as strength left her body.

“Oh no, Sel!”

The Emperor gently scooped her into his arms as she began to collapse.

“Shhh—It’s okay.”

“B-Brother…”

“Yes, just trust me.”

If it had been Lavi, he would’ve lifted her with ease.

But the graceful Emperor’s arms were shaking slightly.

“Um… Brother. I think I can walk.”

At this rate, she might fall.

Sel nervously wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck and gave a strained smile.

“No. The bedroom is too far from here.”

“I think it’s okay for me to walk that much.”

If it became too much, she could always ask one of the knights escorting them for help.

But the Emperor refused to hand over his precious sister to anyone else.

“If it’s the trembling arms, don’t worry. It’s not because you’re heavy… I’m just nervous. I’ll be careful.”

Looking at Sel now, the Emperor was reminded of their mother.

She had endured alone in a harsh forest to give birth to Sel.

And Sel had endured her own hardships, day by day, to survive.

‘I won’t let you go through something like that ever again.’

He wouldn’t let her take even a single step on her own.

He wouldn’t leave her to walk alone, not even once.

Though he couldn’t be there when she was born, as family, he would provide the best care possible as she gave birth to her own child.

“Please… trust your brother just a little more, Sel.”

He vowed to do everything in his power.

And he prayed that every blessing in the world would be bestowed upon his precious, beloved sister.

***

Lavi was the first to arrive, clutching Sel’s hand and praying to every god in existence.

His wife had carried the child with difficulty for ten months, so the one who should suffer now should be him, the man.

He begged, pleaded—please, don’t let it hurt her.

Lavi trembled every time Sel groaned in labor.

The physicians shook their heads, saying the duke might die before the baby was even born.

***

“Lavi, stop crying.”

“……”

“I’m the one who gave birth. Why are you crying?”

Sel gave a wry smile and patted Lavi’s broad back.

Lavi, lips tightly pressed, held the newborn tenderly and let his tears fall.

“How can a Swordmaster cry like that?”

“……”

“You’re a father now. Come on, pull yourself together.”

At Sel’s words, Lavi nodded.

When he slightly opened his lips, the sound of him swallowing sobs slipped out in hiccups.

“I’m just… so thankful, my lady.”

‘Thank you. Thank you, my Sel.’

‘Thank you for becoming my wife.’

‘Thank you for bearing my child.’

“You are my god. You always create the most precious things for me.”

“What a cheesy thing to say.”

“But the baby is enough now. I never want to see you suffer again.”

Lavi wiped his eyes with the back of his arm.

According to the midwife, Sel had delivered so smoothly it could barely be considered a first birth.

But in Lavi’s eyes, the entire process was agony.

Every time Sel went into contraction, his limbs felt torn, and his heart felt like it would burst.

‘D*mn it. Why would the gods give the pain of childbirth to a woman when there are perfectly healthy men around?’

Still, maybe she hadn’t realized how desperate he’d felt.

Sel shook her head firmly.

“I don’t want to stop. I want seven children.”

“You can say that even after all that pain, my lady?”

“Because family gives strength. I don’t want our child to grow up lonely.”

A sharp memory of the bitter loneliness she endured in the cabin passed through Sel’s chest.

She looked quietly at the baby in Lavi’s arms.

Michael Penhac.

A boy with black hair and green eyes.

His delicate, doll-like features resembled Sel exactly.

Lavi took off his shirt and lay down beside Sel.

He gently placed Michael on his chest, over his heart, and softly stroked the baby’s tiny back.

“Lavi?”

“They say doing this helps the baby grow strong.”

Lavi recalled the advice from the midwives and lent Sel his shoulder.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and giggled.

“Michael looks so small in your arms.”

“Does he?”

“He’s barely the size of your fist.”

Michael had been acknowledged as a healthy, well-grown baby by the midwives.

But in Lavi’s arms, he looked no bigger than a sandwich.

“You must’ve been this small once too, right?”

Just imagining it made her laugh—it was too cute.

“Do I seem that big to you?”

“Of course. I bet you’ve shone like the sun since the day you were born.”

Sel laughed until she had to hold her belly.

Her body, still exhausted from childbirth, screamed in protest.

“Sel, are you alright?”

Lavi, pale again, checked her anxiously.

“I’m fine, Lavi… my sun.”

Sel gently stroked his cheek and slowly closed her eyes.

“Just… a little tired, that’s all…”

Overwhelming fatigue washed over her, pulling her eyelids down. All she wanted was to sleep.

Only when Lavi heard Sel’s soft, steady breathing did he finally feel at ease.

“Yeah. I’m your sun.”

Lavi softly brushed Sel’s forehead and placed a kiss there.

“Because you called me your sun, I became it—willingly.”

‘Because of you, I scraped away all the rot inside and was finally able to shine for real.’

“But Sel, even now, I feel so small in front of you.”

‘When you frown, it’s like my entire world crumples.’

‘When you tear up, my heart shatters like ice hitting the floor.’

‘Even your wounds are perfect to me.’

‘With every breath you take, I fall for you all over again.’

‘I’m happy just to exist like the sun in your sky-blue eyes.’

‘So I’ll give it everything I have.’

‘Until my body burns out and vanishes, I’ll shine only for you.’

“Thank you for letting me stay by your side.”

Lavi slowly closed his eyes, following Sel into rest.

As he did, he recalled a distant, painful time when he had felt unbearably small.

***

Note: When Sel is referred to with female pronouns, it indicates Sel’s point of view. Otherwise, the pronouns reflect the perspectives of characters who are unaware of her true gender at the time.

“If there’s a pearl buried in the dirt, it was you. And the moment I found you, I plummeted from up there to way down here. I couldn’t breathe. Every time our eyes met, I was crushed without mercy, and your voice alone made me feel so small and worthless I was buried in the floor.

—Year xx, Month x, Day x. A particularly hot summer afternoon.”

Fifth floor of the Cavalry Mercenary Guild, Lavi’s room.

A warm breeze blew in through the open window.

Lavi’s journal fluttered on his desk.

He had started keeping a journal to clear his tangled thoughts, following Eric’s advice.

Lavi flicked the water off his hands over a basin.

His hands, once sticky with dried blood, now smelled sweet from soap.

He looked out the window once more.

He could see Sel, his hair shimmering like sunlight, smiling radiantly up at him.

Even among the countless crowd—

‘Sel. I see only you.’

Lavi let out a sigh and leaned against the window. Just as the summer sun was scorching, the shaded side was pleasantly cool. The mercenaries were kicking around a ball in that shaded area.

‘Why does Sel have to be a man?’

His head throbbed. He could cross class barriers easily, but gender was different.

‘No, no. That can’t be it. A younger sibling. Yeah, that’s it. He just feels like a little brother.’

Lavi clutched his thumping chest and thought of his real younger brother, Reynus Penhac. But the only time his heart had ever pounded around that brat was when he’d been doused with holy water, which just pissed him off.

‘If it’s not that, then I have no explanation for this.’

Just as Lavi shook his head and turned around—

“Hey, Sel!”

A playful voice called Sel from afar. A sense of foreboding prickled at him, and Lavi glanced back down through the window.

At the same moment—

Splash—

Philip poured a bucket full of water over Sel.

“Ahh! It’s cold!”

Sel screamed and shivered.

The long-sleeved summer shirt he wore was thin. Soaked with water, it clung to his body, revealing his slender figure. Even the tattoo that ran along his waistline was exposed.

Choro, who had been laughing loudly, Braeden, who had pointed and mocked, and even Philip, who had poured the water playfully— All of them froze like stones.

“Sel, your body’s really… and what’s that on your waist…?”

Braeden tilted his head and reached toward Sel’s waist.

‘D*mn it!’

His body moved faster than his thoughts. Before he knew it, Lavi had already jumped down from the fifth floor.

“Commander?”

The attention that had been on Sel now turned to Lavi. The mercenaries looked between the fifth-floor window he’d leapt from and Lavi himself.

“Ahem.”

Lavi cleared his throat as if nothing had happened and walked toward Sel.

Sel, pale as a sheet, trembled while covering his upper body with both arms. It didn’t seem to be the cold that made him tremble, but something else—something like fear.

A curse slipped from his lips. His chest was a mess of tangled emotion.

‘Sel’s reaction is like a woman’s. That’s why.’

That’s how Lavi justified the feelings he couldn’t make sense of. Then he took off his shirt in one swift motion.

The well-defined lines of muscle on his torso were even sharper under the bright sunlight. His sun-kissed skin was flawless.

Lavi stepped right up to Sel and draped his shirt over him. His small head easily slipped through the wide collar. The short-sleeved shirt that had fit him perfectly was oversized on him. The hem fell halfway down his thighs.

‘Did I scare him by appearing so suddenly?’

Sel’s eyes, already large, widened even more. His deep blue irises looked even more vivid than the summer sky.

‘Why does this keep happening?’

His chest ached, and heat flushed through his face again. 

‘D*mn it. D*mn it!’

‘This is anger. That’s why my body’s heating up.’

Sel is just a guy with a d*mn twig for an arm. No way I’m reacting to him.

So Lavi shouted. Because what he felt was clearly anger.

“You’re a grown man! Whining like a baby just because you got splashed with a bit of water?”

“When did I whine?”

Sel muttered, pouting. She wasn’t pleased with Lavi snapping at her like that. Still, she slipped her arms into the sleeves of the shirt he’d given her.

She worried that her chest, wrapped tightly in bandages, might show through the wet fabric.

At that moment, the summer wind swept through the shaded area. Though it was only lukewarm, it felt different to someone soaked like Sel.

“Achoo!”

Sel sneezed with a shiver.

Was that sneeze as loud as thunder? Lavi flinched and stared at her.

“Huh?”

Braeden looked puzzled.

“Hey, Philip, what’s up with the commander?”

“Yeah, weird. He couldn’t have jumped at a sneeze, right?”

“Did Sel do something wrong?”

“Maybe he just remembered Sel owes him money?”

This was the commander who wouldn’t flinch even if a wild beast roared at him.

The mercenaries all shook their heads at how strange Lavi was acting today.

Meanwhile, Lavi planted his hands on his hips and stomped on the wooden bucket Philip had used to fetch water.

“Hey! Commander! That’s my washbasin!”

“Oh, this thing’s yours?”

“Please stop! It was handcrafted by a master artisan from my homeland!”

“A washbasin is for washing your face, not for dumping water on people!”

With every word, Lavi stomped harder on the intricately carved bucket. It was no longer a bucket—it was on the verge of turning into sawdust.

“Why are you so mad today?!”

Philip shouted, flustered.

Lavi didn’t back down.

“I’m possessed, that’s why!”

“I know it’s you, Commander. Your eyes are totally green right now!”

“My what?”

‘You little—’

Lavi glared threateningly at Philip.

“Hey, hey, Philip. Apologize now. The commander’s scarier than any ghost when he snaps.”

Braeden crept up behind Philip and whispered.

Philip’s eyes trembled. He silently begged, Is there any way to take back what I said? That’s how terrifying Lavi seemed right now.

The one who calmed the raging beast was—

“Commander, I’ll return your shirt. Let’s go inside.”

—Sel, who stepped forward and spoke.

She grabbed Lavi’s firm wrist and led him away. Lavi, like a leashed dog, was dragged along behind her.

“Whoa, Sel. That was badass.”

Philip clasped his hands over his face, praising Sel. She had just saved his life.

“But Sel must be stronger than he looks. Look how easily he dragged the commander away.”

“He took the commander down with a single knee kick, remember? Sel’s been hiding his strength.”

“Still, he didn’t seem that strong during training…”

“That’s what makes him a real badass. Tough on the strong, gentle to the weak!”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you calling me weak, Philip?”

“Wanna die?”

Braeden swung his fist at Philip.

Philip dashed across the yard, daring him to try.

Of course, Braeden’s reflexes were better, so he was quickly caught from behind.

Sel, however, left the commotion behind and continued dragging Lavi up the stairs.

Lavi was dazed.

Already the fourth floor.

He had no memory of how they had made it this far.

The wrist Sel was holding felt so hot he had no strength to focus on anything else.

“Commander?”

When he came to his senses again, they were in front of Sel’s room.

As Sel let go of his wrist, Lavi finally lifted his gaze.

He saw Sel’s awkward expression, his lips slightly jutting out in a grumble.

‘Ah, those lips…’

“Thank you for lending me your shirt.”

Sel glanced around and suddenly pulled off the shirt he had been wearing.

Underneath was the wet uniform he had had on.

Lavi instinctively turned his head and covered his eyes with his hand.

‘You must not look.’

His instincts screamed at him.

“Commander?”

At some point, Sel had taken off the shirt and was holding it out to Lavi.

“D*mn it,” Lavi muttered under his breath as he snatched the shirt a little too roughly.

Sel frowned at the sudden movement.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What?”

Yeah, he was going to say he was mad. But Lavi shut his mouth firmly.

Was this truly anger?

No, the truth was—he already knew.

He had even written it in his journal. He knew it all, but had no choice but to deny it.

“You haven’t made eye contact with me since earlier… and you keep getting angry.”

Seeing Sel’s sullen expression made his heart drop with a thud.

‘Maybe I was too harsh.’

He couldn’t remember exactly what he had said or how.

But one thing was certain—if he hadn’t gotten angry, something absurd would have slipped out instead.

Things like: I keep thinking about you. Or, My heart races whenever I see you.

He constantly had to keep his throat tight to keep such nonsense in.

Maybe that’s why the nonsense kept escaping in the form of yelling.

As if he were angry.

‘Stupid b*stard.’

‘Just die. Yeah, just go die, you idiot.’

Lavi closed his eyes grimly and replied as calmly as he could.

“You got splashed with water… I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“It wasn’t my fault I got splashed.”

“Achoo!”

Sel sneezed again.

Startled, Lavi quickly wrapped the shirt around his shoulders.

The gesture was clumsy.

The shirt that was supposed to cover him like a cape ended up wrapped around his neck like a scarf.

‘Ugh, I can’t breathe.’

Sel winced and looked down at the shirt around his neck.

Lavi had failed to adjust the strength of his grip, overwhelmed by how slender his neck was.

He turned his gaze away hastily, imagining leaving bite marks on his pale skin.

“Why do people even catch colds in the middle of summer?!”

His drifting gaze landed once more on Sel’s lips.

‘D*mn it, stop pouting like that.’

Why were a guy’s lips so red? It made him want to bite them.

‘At this rate, I really will do something.’

Fine, better to just run. If it came down to sucking on a man’s lips, he’d rather run and die.

Gritting his teeth, Lavi bolted.

“Commander, it’s not a cold—”

Bang.

Lavi stormed out of the room without hearing the rest of Sel’s sentence.

“…It’s not a cold. I just sneezed.”

Sel blinked blankly at the closed door.

***