“Oh, you.”
Barbara snapped instinctively, as she always did.
“Do I seem like the kind of person who’d be offended if someone said something true?”
Ah – she’d done it again. Barbara wrinkled the bridge of her nose in frustration, scolding herself inwardly.
She expected Regina to frown in return, but instead Regina gently put down her fork and smiled.
“Of course not, Mother. You’re not that kind of person.”
Suddenly, Barbara felt a lump in her throat. Her chest began to pound and a lump seemed to rise up where her food had just gone down. It felt a bit like indigestion – except it wasn’t painful or uncomfortable.
“You’ve changed since you were ill. You’re different.”
“Really?”
Regina touched her now thinner cheek awkwardly. Her fingertips could tell that her skin wasn’t quite the same.
“My face has aged a lot, hasn’t it?”
“That’s not what I meant… but yes, it has.”
Barbara said with a nod.
“Still, it’s not too late – take care of yourself. Your looks, your heritage, your grace, your intelligence and your character… that’s pretty much all you’ve got, isn’t it?”
“It’s more than I thought. Ha…”
Regina laughed, but something caught in her throat at the end.
If she really had all those good qualities Barbara mentioned… then why didn’t Grey love her?
Her eyes fell on the tablecloth, its lemon and ash embroidery blurring in her vision. Then, when she could breathe again, she murmured.
“I always thought you didn’t like me, Mother.”
“Didn’t like you? Me? Why would I?”
The three questions in one made Regina feel three times better.
“It’s just… before I got sick, about a year ago… I felt like I really disappointed you.”
Even as she spoke, Regina couldn’t help but think – ‘Was this really something that could be explained away as mere ‘disappointment’?
It was the kind of question that had even Grey – who normally had no interest in pointless arguments or conflict – losing his temper and shouting.
The man who had slowly, awkwardly begun to soften had reverted to his cold, sharp self as if that brief warmth had never existed.
Every time she’d mustered the courage to reach out to him, it had ended with her being cut again.
And though she hadn’t meant to, she knew she was the one who had sharpened those edges.
Barbara had never said a word, but Regina was sure it must have broken her heart too.
She couldn’t move on without saying sorry… even if the apology came far too late.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Barbara explained, raising an elegant eyebrow.
“I’ve already forgotten it. So you should forget it too.”
“You will, won’t you?”
“Will I? Have I started to forget?
For a year she had lived like a prisoner in her own body – only waking when she truly believed she might die. The joy of survival was indescribable – but she hadn’t had the luxury of lingering in that feeling.
When you stop, even for a single day, the weight of your responsibilities begins to pile up.
And she had been away for a whole year. Her life was in chaos. Her marriage to Grey was hanging by a thread. There was so much that needed fixing, so much that she needed to get back.
Of course, the urgency of the present had pushed the past aside – but it hadn’t gone away. It was still there, waiting.
She’d put off facing it – but that didn’t mean she’d really forgotten it.
Sensing her daughter-in-law’s hesitation, Barbara picked up her knife.
“Regina. Time passes for you, still young, just as it does for me, growing old. That’s why we must make the most of the time we’ve been given. Leave the broken past where it is and turn your eyes to what lies ahead.”
“I understand.”
“I’ve lived long enough to know that life isn’t much. But someone who learns to be grateful for what they have… that person can find happiness.”
With steady hands and the ease of long habit, Barbara flipped the pancake with her knife, the motion so fluid it seemed the blade was simply an extension of her fingers.
The plain, golden-brown underside that had been hidden before was revealed.
“There are always two sides to everything. We can’t wish a pancake to be a scone. No matter how you turn it, it’s still a pancake – but at least we can choose to look at the front or the back.”
Barbara turned the pancake over. The cream and fruit had been squashed a bit, but it still looked delicious and sweet.
“Choosing to eat only the bottom side—well, that’s something only a fool would do, don’t you think?”
A brief smile tugged at Barbara’s lips – but there was a hint of self-mockery in her expression.
“Of course, I’ve been such a fool myself. But you, Regina – you’re smarter than me.”
There was a subtle breeze in Barbara’s tone – a quiet suggestion beneath her words.
And soon Regina realised what Barbara really meant.
This wasn’t about pancakes. It was about her marriage.
Grey Cabil would never be a loving husband. But he could be a wealthy one, a reliable provider.
Wouldn’t she be happier concentrating on what he gave her freely rather than what he couldn’t?
Barbara pretended to concentrate on the food, but Regina could tell – she was listening carefully, watching her reaction with keen awareness.
It wasn’t malicious. If anything, it came from a place of goodwill.
Barbara cared for her.
She wanted Regina to remain part of the family, to live with them for a long time to come.
And for that to happen, Regina had to find some measure of happiness in this house.
It was advice meant for her sake – and yet it made her feel suffocated.
Everyone around her, with one heart and one mind, seemed to wish that Regina didn’t love Grey.
Even Grey herself.
‘A husband wishing for his wife to stop loving him… isn’t that strange?’
But she seemed to be the only one who felt that way.
In a world where everyone saw with one eye, was the person with two eyes the odd one out?
Regina no longer knew what to believe.
—
She couldn’t even remember how the meal with Barbara had ended.
When she came to, she was back in her bedroom.
She was completely exhausted. Her heart was pounding, as if it’d been hit from nowhere, and her head was spinning.
Usually, she could catch herself after a brief moment of imbalance – but today it felt like she might actually collapse.
“Choosing to eat only the bottom side—well, that’s something only a fool would do, don’t you think?”
Barbara’s words, her expression, even the look in her eyes… They were too much like Grey.
It was as if even the only member of his family had rejected her heart.
‘Would a child born with Grey’s blood feel the same?‘
If half of that child’s blood came from him… didn’t that mean there was only a fifty percent chance they’d love them?
What made her so sure that her child would love her?
She imagined a child that looked like Grey pulling away from her touch with a grimace.
She could picture it vividly – as if it had just happened – and the pain was just as vivid.
‘I just need to sleep.’
She told herself the dark thoughts were just from exhaustion.
I’ve always been a dark person anyway.
As she reached for her bedroom door, an unwelcome voice suddenly grabbed her like a hand.
“My lady!”
It was Dain.
“What is it?”
“Well, a lady came and asked to see you. She didn’t have an appointment, but she insisted on seeing you, milady.
That was rude, of course.
But those who dared to be so rude usually had a reason that left them no choice.
“Did she give her name?”
“Yes. She said it was Miss Beaufort.”
Dain replied, tilting her pretty head in confusion.
“Nadeira Beaufort. She said you’d recognise her from that name alone.”
“Please, Regina. I’m begging you.”
Above Dain’s curious expression, a memory from the past surfaced –
“You have plenty of other suitors! But I-I need Grey Cabil!”
Nadeira’s voice had rung out with an almost desperate intensity.
‘What kind of face are you wearing now, standing at the entrance of my house?’
***
As soon as Grey heard the news, he shot to his feet.
“Who’s here?”
“Miss Beaufort, sir.”
Finley replied.
“What the hell is she doing at my house?”
“Well, sir, you’ve been refusing all their requests to meet lately… Perhaps this is a form of rebellion, or a last ditch effort to get through…”
Finley, who was making the report, broke into a cold sweat himself.
The divorcee who had been hovering around his master had finally pushed her way to the doorstep of his legal wife.
From a married man’s point of view, it was a disaster.
“What could she possibly have to say to my wife?”
“I—I’m not sure, sir!”
Grey’s voice rumbled through the office like a growl, and Finley blurted out like a startled animal.
“Maybe she’s planning to expose something!”
“She can only expose something if there was something to expose! Damn it!”
Grey could swear to God – he had never given in to Nadeira.
And that was exactly why he couldn’t even begin to imagine what nonsense she might be spewing at Regina now.
“Well, I couldn’t possibly presume to understand the complex and ever-changing heart of a woman, my lord.”
“Then what do you know?”
“That if you don’t get home soon you might find divorce papers waiting for you?”
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
sahari
La suegra tiene razón. Regina debería de dejar de sufrir por Grey, se estaría haciendo un favor enorme y podría invertir esa energía en otra cosa.