“Have you noticed anything unusual with your body?”

Late at night, the elderly servant arrived, as always, setting down the tray. His gaze seemed fixed on my midsection… Was it just my imagination? He appeared eager to report even the slightest change to my father.

“Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“That can’t be true. This is a miraculous medicine, said to invigorate even a 90-year-old man. And it’s supposed to be twice as potent as the one provided by Her Majesty the Empress.”

For some reason, I heard the sound of someone gritting their teeth behind me.

‘Damn it, I knew it.’ The muttering was unmistakable. Judging by the furious glare the elderly attendant shot behind me, I wasn’t the only one who heard it.

“Your Highness! Just now, that servant had the audacity to swear in your presence—”

“It’s just your imagination,” I interrupted.

The servant looked at me in disbelief.

“I may be old, and my hearing might not be as sharp, but I’m not deaf enough to hear things that aren’t there. That attendant just now…” 

“I said it’s just your imagination.”

The attendant gave me an odd look but soon nodded, as if she understood. I heard her mumble something like, “They say he can’t resist his lover…” 

Perhaps due to my actions up until now, there seemed to be rumors suggesting that I was under Zetak’s influence.

“If there are no changes, I’ll make the medicine stronger. For today, please take this dose,” the attendant said. 

“Very well.”

He looked at me with an almost pitiful expression.

To be loved by an impotent man… I heard her mutter, adding that with a stronger dose, even a corpse could get up. I chose to ignore it. After making sure no one was in the hallway, the attendant hurried out.

As I turned with the teacup, I saw Zetak looking at me expressionlessly. He was definitely keeping a neutral face, yet, for some reason, it looked as if he was enjoying this.

“Drink it all at once. If you take it in sips, it’ll be harder to swallow.”

“You seem quite pleased about me drinking this.”

“Of course. It feels refreshing. I mentioned it before—once you drink it, you’ll understand why I hated it so much.”

It certainly had an odor that explained why he despised it. I had made him take it for that reason, after all. I looked down at the viscous liquid in the teacup. Setting aside the smell, even its appearance was awful. If I, who was once a demon, found it unappealing, that said a lot.

“Do I really have to drink this? After all, you were lying about the spider legs, weren’t you? Should a servant treat their master like this?”

“I don’t want to drink it either. Just accept it as part of my revenge.”

“…You wretch.”

It seemed I had no choice but to drink it. Holding my breath, I brought the cup to my lips. Even a single sip was difficult to swallow. The nauseating sensation traveled down my throat, making it quite unpleasant.

“…It’s a rather disgusting taste. No wonder you hated it so much,” I muttered, setting the empty teacup down.

Zetak unwrapped a candy from the tray and pushed it into my mouth, much like I had once done to him. Caught off guard, I accepted it, and he spoke softly.

“It’s a candy. That should do, right?”

“…”

Was this how Zetak felt? I wanted to slap him, but I refrained – I had my own sins to atone for. All I could do was cleanse my taste buds with the candy. Zetak, meanwhile, cleared away the empty teacup and looked at me with a satisfied expression.

“You should go to the bathroom first. It’ll be more comfortable to splash yourself with cold water before the effects kick in”.

“The bathroom? Ah. Does that mean…”

So that was why he went to the bathroom every night… I looked down at the empty teacup. It all made sense now—on the days he took the medicine, he would head to the bathroom afterward. I had always thought he was limping around because he had hurt his foot or something. But now, it seemed it wasn’t his foot that was the problem.

Did that mean the medicine actually worked? The thought crossed my mind, but I wasn’t too concerned. After all, it was just human libido. For Zetak, who had once been human, the libido induced by the medicine might have felt significant. But it wouldn’t be the same for me.

No matter how strong the effect was, it wouldn’t compare to the sensations I experienced in my previous life. From my perspective, humans seemed like a species with almost no s*xual desire compared to other beings. No matter how much medicine was taken, a few indulgent moments would likely be enough to calm it down.

“I don’t think there’s any need to splash cold water on myself. It’s late, so let’s just sleep.”

As I got into bed, Zetak gave me a strange look.

“You’ll regret it,” he mumbled, but he didn’t try to stop me. His eyes held a hint of sadism, almost as if he wanted me to suffer through it myself.

“I have something to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“What did Karial do to you?”

He paused for a moment, just as he was about to turn off the light and get into bed. But soon he pulled the blanket aside and lay down next to me, seemingly unfazed. I hadn’t really expected an answer when I asked – it was more of an attempt to observe his reaction and try to deduce the truth myself. Surprisingly, Zetak answered quite easily, although his answer was meant to mock me.

“Why ask when you already know?”

“…”

“You’ve already figured it out, haven’t you?”

He spoke quietly, his voice calm.

“She did things similar to what you did.”

His tone may have been indifferent, but I knew his true feelings were anything but. I couldn’t see his face in the dark, but I could guess. His eyes were likely filled with hatred—whether that hatred was directed at Karial or at me, I couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was both.

“How come I didn’t know what was happening to you?”

“She made sure it didn’t get out – she treated me just enough so that nothing would get out through the priests.”

‘Similar to what I did.’ Under the blanket, I reached out for his hand. As soon as I touched him, I felt a slight flinch. I traced my fingers along his hand and felt the hard nails.

“Did she pull these out as well?”

“No.”

He denied it, but that wasn’t much comfort. It probably meant she couldn’t touch anything visible on the surface. So what did she do to the parts that weren’t visible? Did she do things worse than what I had done? Was that the reason for the depth of his hatred for Karial?

A strange tightness twisted in my stomach, almost as if someone was gripping and wringing my insides. I didn’t understand why I felt this way, but it was certainly unpleasant.

“I could bear the physical pain,” Zetak said quietly. “But…”

He started to say something but then fell silent. I waited, but he remained quiet, unwilling to continue. I could bear the physical pain. So there must have been something else, something beyond just physical suffering. What exactly had Karial done to him?

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“…”

“If you had told me, I would have stopped it immediately. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“…If I had told you, it would have stopped,” he repeated quietly, almost as if speaking to himself. There was an emotion in his voice that resembled anger, mixed with something else. Perhaps my eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness, as I could now make out his figure. His red eyes glowed strangely, fixed on me. As a demon, he could see clearly in the dark—he had been watching me the entire time.

“Yes, if I had told you, Your Highness would have stopped it. You would have punished Karial for what she did to me. Maybe you would have paid her back, twice over.”

“If you knew that, then why…”

“Why?” he interrupted, glaring at me. His red eyes were filled with hatred, darkening to a deep, almost black crimson. Though the room was dark, the light from the window reflected eerily in his eyes, giving them an unsettling gleam.

“Why?” he repeated, his voice raw with intensity. “Why did you treat me so kindly back then?”

His words caught me completely off guard. I had never treated him kindly. As I searched my memories, I couldn’t think of a single instance. Even when I was with him, people called me a “corpse” behind my back, saying I lacked humanity. Many couldn’t understand why Zetak would follow me.

“I do remember treating you more leniently compared to others, but I have no memory of treating you kindly. You must be mistaken.”

“You made me believe I was favored,” he muttered, his voice trembling as though he was gnashing his teeth. “If only you had treated me the same as everyone else… If only you had.”

He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me. He stood up and looked down at me, his cold hand reaching for my throat. There was no strength in his grip – it felt more like he was just resting his hand there than trying to strangle me.

“I will never forgive you, Your Highness,” he said. “Sure, there may be times when old memories sway me, but the day when I forgive you completely will never come.”

“…”

“Do you know what I felt then…?”

His voice trailed off, the pain behind the words lingering in the air between us.

Did I see it wrong? His red eyes looked almost wet with tears. I raised my hand and touched near his eyes, but my fingertips remained dry; there was nothing there. It seemed I had been mistaken in thinking he was crying. And yet his expression still resembled that of someone on the verge of tears. Or perhaps it was just a trick of the light – his face remained expressionless, but there was an inexplicable sense of sadness.