“Don’t you want to see the children?”

“…I do.”

Lying entwined with Jurgen, Svyeta answered honestly. On nights like this, she couldn’t help but be truthful.

“But I won’t see them.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want them to forget me.”

Seeing how downcast he looked, she found herself gently stroking his cheek.

“Jurgen, you seem thinner. Is it because of me?”

“Yes.”

He pressed a cautious kiss to her lips. She accepted it not out of guilt or gratitude, but because she missed his kisses, too. She longed for the kisses they had once shared.

What began tenderly soon deepened. With his arms locked tightly around her, he kissed her passionately. His kisses became more insistent and his tongue plunged deep, causing her wariness to crumble.

“Have you truly never missed me?”

She gave no reply, only a breathless sigh.

“But I missed you.”

He said with a smile. An arrogant smile, as though he already knew her heart.

“I missed you—and I missed your body as well…”

In that instant, Svyeta snapped awake. She rammed her head into his with all her strength. She struck so hard that stars burst across her vision.

“Ow…”

Pressing a hand to her forehead, she grimaced. Who would have thought Jurgen’s head was so hard? She’d nearly killed herself in the attempt.

“Are you all right?” 

Even in the pitch-black darkness, she could clearly see Jurgen’s face twisted in pain. Perhaps it had hurt him nearly as much as it had hurt her.

“Are you all right, Jurgen? You’re not hurt, are you?”

“My heart is hurt.”

She had only done it because she feared being swept along if she didn’t break the mood. But offering excuses would sound even stranger, so she held her tongue.

“I won’t bother you anymore. Just go to sleep.”

‘He’s sulking.’

She realized it instantly. He had turned his back on her completely, and his voice had dropped lower—she would have been blind not to notice.

Tentatively, Svyeta shook his shoulder.

‘Did I go too far? Was the headbutt too hard?’

“Are you mad?”

“…”

“I’m sorry. I was startled, that’s all. Did it hurt much? Let me see.”

Jürgen didn’t move. Clearly, he was sulking. It was understandable — he had been hit in the head out of nowhere.

Sleep wouldn’t come. Even though she knew she didn’t have to, she couldn’t help but worry about him. Curled up with his back to her, he looked so pitiful that she felt sorry for him.

Come to think of it, she had always fallen asleep holding him lately. Perhaps that was why she couldn’t sleep now; the sudden absence of his warmth felt strange.

“Svyeta.”

“Yes?”

“Hold me. Tonight, you first.”

She let out a sigh. Did he really have to ask so pitifully for such a simple hug? Against her better judgement, she found herself wrapping her arms around him from behind.

The size difference made it awkward. Not because she was small, but because he was big. It felt like trying to embrace a thousand-year-old tree. The thought made her chuckle. Despite his imposing nature, he could be childlike at times.

At last, he turned back towards her.

“It must have hurt. Why do you say things like that?”

She couldn’t stop laughing as she stroked his forehead. He was a clean-cut, strikingly handsome man. There wasn’t a flaw anywhere. Perhaps the sharpness of his features could be considered a flaw, but sometimes his sheer size and strength frightened her.

“You’re like a husky.”

She murmured without thinking, brushing her fingers at the corner of his eye.

“A husky?”

“They’re dogs raised by the natives.”

“Svyeta, stop touching my face.”

As she brushed her hand along his features, Jurgen caught her wrist.

“I said stop.”

Their bodies pressed together and she could feel it: the hard, insistent bulge of him pressing against her belly like a pillar. It wasn’t the first time. On more than one occasion, Jürgen had tried to excuse himself, murmuring that it wasn’t his choice. Perhaps that was true, but her cheeks still burned with sudden shame.

At times, his sheer size unsettled her. His frame was so broad that he could easily be mistaken for a prizefighter. But it was his monstrous stamina that truly frightened her.

They said it was innate, passed down through his family. Given his family’s history of soldiers, this was unsurprising; yet his already formidable size meant that every encounter with him was daunting. So he would coax, soothe and lull her with murmurs and gentle caresses before taking her. Even then, it was never what one could call tender. Ultimately, she was always overwhelmed by his strength.

She knew his true nature well — a side that was known only to her. To the world, Jürgen wore the mask of a courteous gentleman, concealing the man beneath.

“Svyeta.”

He whispered against her ear, finding her half-dazed.

“I’ll step out for some air.”

“…All right.”

Had his very nature changed? Had the act of playing the gentleman turned him into one for real?

She drifted into bed, bewildered. But without him there, her thoughts multiplied, and sleep would not come.

‘Is this really all right?’

The question gnawed at her. Nearly three months had passed this way — endless time spent in confinement. He kept her in hospital and, slowly, fear began to take root. She felt as though she were imprisoned.

‘The children… Are they doing well?’

Jürgen went straight to the hospital from work every evening. But who was looking after the children? Nevertheless, it must be better for them to have their father there.

The next day, after he had finished work, she asked him when he would let her go home.

“Think about it carefully. You wouldn’t want to stay locked in here for the rest of your life, would you?”

That was his answer. Shock drained the color from her face.

“What do you mean?”

“That’s exactly what I meant.”

He sat her on his lap and wrapped both arms tightly around her waist.

“You’re insane. How could you even say something like that…!”

Svyeta swallowed a sigh. Clearly, Jurgen had no intention of ending this madness anytime soon.

The next day, she left the hospital unaided. After being confined for so long, she had memorized the nurses’ mealtimes, making it easy to slip past their watchful eyes.

She couldn’t endure it any longer. Jürgen wouldn’t even let her take a walk without him. After hearing his insane ideas about keeping her locked up in hospital forever, she felt as though she was on the verge of losing her mind.

Wearing only her hospital gown, she could feel the stares of strangers burning into her. Flushed with embarrassment, she hurried into a quieter street.

Rows of cars stretched out before her at the roadside.

“Wow…”

In the two years she had lived in Elkinsky, she had grown sick of seeing nothing but Ladas. But here, cars of every make and model filled the streets.

“They’re beautiful.”

Staring, almost entranced, at a yellow sports car parked along the curb, she muttered to herself. A car like that must feel completely different to drive. The steering would turn smooth as silk, the brakes soft and clean. After all, quality was built into it from the start.

“Interested in my car?”

They say that a man’s pride lies in his car. The owner certainly seemed smug and confident as he approached her.

“Want to take a ride? I’ll let you in.”

Svyeta hesitated, not because she was unsure about getting into a stranger’s car, but because she was unsure how to respond. She had become so accustomed to not speaking the language of the Hildenbech that she had almost forgotten how. Shaking her head, she answered and continued walking aimlessly.

‘I probably can’t communicate properly with the children anymore. They must have forgotten all the words I taught them. After all, Alexander was practically a baby back then. I’ve studied Hildenbech in bits and pieces, but being able to speak it aloud is another matter entirely.’

Lost in thoughts of the children, she didn’t notice that she had lost her way. By the time she realised, she was standing still and at a loss.