“I was wrong. I won’t be stubborn again and I won’t ask to come to places like this. So don’t be angry, Teddy….”

“I’m not angry…. I was just so scared. So please, don’t do this again.”

I burst into tears and promised him I’d never do it again. Thadeus hugged me tight with his trembling body.

As an epilogue, Thadeus and I got soaked in the rain and had to suffer through terrible colds. When we met later, we made a bet about who had been sicker, and after endless insisting, no winner was decided, so we looked at each other and burst out laughing.

After that commotion, we changed somehow. To be precise, Thadeus was similar, but my feelings toward him had changed—that would be a more accurate expression.

Just spotting his purple hair fluttering in the distance made my heart pound like it would burst. 

There were countless times I was troubled because his afterimage wouldn’t leave my mind. I thought that even the most expensive jewels would fail to shine if placed beside him.

Very occasionally, I couldn’t contain this tickling feeling in my heart and let it out. It felt like my heart would burst if I didn’t say it right away.

“Teddy, I like you so much!”

At the sudden confession, Thadeus spat out the water he was drinking.

“Ack, hah…! How can you just say something like that so openly…!”

Each time, Thadeus would drop the wooden sword he was holding and send it flying far away, or sometimes his face would turn bright red and he’d disappear like the wind to hide it.

I showed Thadeus my feelings even more openly. 

For instance, I wanted to have the engagement ceremony before we became adults, or if we were choosing a house to live in together later, I thought an estate near a quiet lakeside where we could float a boat would be nice. 

Oh, and the most important thing—the wedding ring should be a pretty flower ring.

Even with my active expressions, Thadeus would get flustered or act like something was broken. No matter how I looked at it, he seemed to feel the same way as me, but I’d never heard a clear answer, which was frustrating.

I can’t go on like this. I need to show him my feelings clearly!

That’s how I came up with the idea of gifting Thadeus a special wooden sword. If I made it myself and it was the only one in the world, wouldn’t he like it too? And I’d convey how sincere my love for Thadeus was.

First, I had to make a huge decision. I emptied all the allowance I’d been saving to make a chocolate fountain. 

Then I cut down the Bangly tree that my grandfather had planted in the front yard as a gift when I was very young.

“I’m sorry, Grandfather. I’m sorry, Bangly tree….”

The Bangly tree was rumored to be harder than steel, boasting exceptional hardness. On top of that, many people were desperate to obtain it because it wouldn’t rot even when wet. There seemed to be nothing better to use as the frame for a wooden sword.

“Next, I need to….”

After shaping the Bangly tree into a wooden sword, I went to find the most famous sculptor rumored to be in the empire.

After much deliberation about what to commission, I decided to carve the petals of the Frea tree, symbolizing eternal love, on the blade, and the figure of a brave knight defeating a dragon on the handle.

“Because our Teddy will become the most wonderful knight in the empire!”

Actually, a few days ago, while hovering around Thadeus, I happened to overhear him talking with his friends.

“I’m going to be a knight. Ideally, I should at least become a knight commander so my pride won’t be hurt.”

Until then, I hadn’t had a chance to know what Thadeus wanted to do. But when I heard those words and imagined him in uniform under the sunlight, holding a sword, my heart pounded like it would burst.

The position of imperial knight must exist for our Teddy!

Even if I couldn’t make the chocolate fountain that had been my lifelong dream. Even if the Bangly tree my grandfather gifted me disappeared. If I could see him taking steps toward his dream using the wooden sword I gave him, that alone would make me happy.

“Ah, I wish the wooden sword would be finished soon. Then I can give our Teddy a surprise gift.”

There was still a whole month left until the commissioned wooden sword would be completed. 

Every night before sleeping, I’d count the remaining days and get annoyed alone at how slowly time passed.

When exactly a month had passed, news arrived that the wooden sword I’d been longing for was complete. I wanted to see him moved by the surprise gift so badly that I went to the Chervandia Duke’s Estate without even contacting him.

“Have you arrived, Miss Clea?”

“Is Thadeus inside?”

“Yes, the first young master is currently sparring with Young Master Kailen.”

Kailen is here?

For a brief moment, I considered just turning back. It wasn’t that I had any particular problem with Kailen, but I could feel that he found me annoying for following Thadeus around.

When our eyes happened to meet, he’d turn his gaze away with a completely scrunched face, or he’d pass by muttering a low curse in a small voice only I could hear. It was the first time I’d felt such blatant hostility, and I’d been flustered more than once or twice.

What should I do? I want to give Teddy the wooden sword even one second faster!

I’d held back countless times when my mouth itched to tell him honestly. On top of that, this wooden sword wasn’t something that could be made overnight, so I had to wait days and days for it to be completed.

After such a long period of patience, the day I could finally give the gift had come, and it would be a shame to turn back now.

Well… as long as I don’t greatly interfere with their sparring, it should be fine, right?

“Then please guide me to the training grounds.”

“Please follow this way.”

I moved to the training grounds with the servant’s guidance. In the distance, I could see the two sparring with wooden swords. Though drenched in sweat, Thadeus was splendid as always.

His face, which had looked youthful, became sharper as he lost weight, and his broader shoulders and sturdy body seemed newly unfamiliar compared to before. Come to think of it, his voice had changed a bit recently too—there wasn’t just one or two things that had changed.

Teddy is still wonderful today as always! Being handsome is truly thrilling!

I sat far away and waited for the sparring to end without disturbing the two. The exchange lasted longer than expected. Even so, Thadeus’s movements were beautiful like a dancing butterfly, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

Then my eyes met Kailen’s. He subtly furrowed his brow, then noticed the gift box in my hand. 

He let out a scoff like he couldn’t believe it, then spoke to Thadeus with his characteristic mischievous smile.

“Hey, Thadeus. There’s something I’ve been curious about.”

Thwack, tap.

The wooden sword thrusting inward was quite sharp. However, Thadeus deflected Kailen’s attack with an unconcerned face.

“What is it?”

“Do you happen to like Clea?”

“What? Wh-what kind of nonsense is that all of a sudden?”

“No, I mean, you get annoyed and get rid of other girls who follow you around, but you leave Clea alone. I thought maybe you had some other scheme.”

Like a drop of paint, Thadeus’s ears turned red. His flawless posture crumbled, and unlike before, he unleashed attacks full of openings.

“I don’t.”

“Liar. Then why is your attitude toward her different from other girls?”

“……”

“Seeing you can’t answer, I guess it’s true? When did you stop finding her annoying and start liking her?”

When Kailen teased him obnoxiously with a smirk, Thadeus stopped in place like someone who’d forgotten they were sparring. Then he shouted angrily.

“She’s, she’s just pitiful…!”

“Pitiful? What’s pitiful about her?”

“I mean…, she gets teased by other kids. She can’t fit in properly. Every time I look away she’s hurt, and her body is as weak as a newborn chick…!”

“…And?”

“And…! Her parents asked me to hang out with her because she grew up lonely without friends. If it weren’t for that, why would I have bothered with her until now!”

“So you don’t like her?”

“Right! I’m not crazy. Why would I like such an annoying kid who needs so much attention?”

I’m pitiful? Simply because I’m a lonely kid without a single friend, because his parents asked him to, he was just forced to humor me?

It felt like a sharp arrow had flown and pierced my heart. Breathing was painful. How arrogant had I been all this time? 

I thought our relationship was special, different from others. I believed your heart was the same as mine. All of that must have been my delusion.

“Wh-when did I ever worry about someone like you! I’m just afraid that if you get scarred, you’ll get even uglier!”

Back then, your gaze as you said those mean words kept touching my bleeding knee. You never cried even when badly hurt and bleeding, yet you made an expression like you were in more pain than me over my trivial wound.

Worried the wound might worsen, you carried me home on your back, and the next day you secretly gave me effective ointment while pretending to be someone else, then left.

“Yes. It’s obvious to anyone… Don’t go around crying about it, ugly.”

You deliberately punished the kids who bullied me. Your rambling appearance as you forced yourself to find unsuitable reasons made my heart strangely flutter.

I liked how you casually tousled your hair with a reddened face. Even after parting with you, that brief moment came to mind over and over, keeping me awake.

“I’m not angry…. I was just so scared. So please, don’t do this again.”

I’d never once seen you cry. I’d never even thought I’d see you burst into tears in my lifetime. But when you found me in the lost mountains and breathed a sigh of relief, your eyes were red, like you’d shed tears.

I could have thought it looked that way because of the heavy rain, but I was certain. Perhaps you’d been crying alone, afraid you might never see me again.

After that, you became so enormous I could no longer hide you in my heart. Even when I slept, you came to mind, and sometimes I had the illusion that time stopped when you looked at me. 

You kept sharing warmth with me that you’d never shown others, and I made hopeful assumptions that you felt the same way as me.

But Thadeus only humored me because I was pitiful. I had no decent friends. He was even forced by his parents to do it.

At first, it was pure stubbornness. To see how long you’d humor me. Plus, I had a slight ulterior motive to become close with the reliable Thadeus, who was like an older brother.

But if I’d known it would become sincere like this, I wouldn’t have gotten close from the start. 

If I’d known my feelings would be trampled so easily, I wouldn’t have cherished them. The price of cheap sympathy was quite cruel.

When I made a face like I was about to cry, Kailen smiled like he was satisfied. He didn’t stop there and added another stab to the heart.

“Really? Then what if I told you I know a way to get rid of her?”

“Of course I’d use it right away.”

“Then turn around.”

Thadeus turned around with a flushed face. At that exact moment, tears disgracefully trickled down. I tried to hold back the tears somehow, but my heart wouldn’t do as I thought.

“Ah….”

Thadeus’s eyes, meeting mine, shook this way and that. It looked like he’d seen something he shouldn’t have. He probably would. He didn’t expect to end up saying the feelings he couldn’t express until now. Even in this situation, Kailen was busy smirking obnoxiously.

“Now tell her plainly. If she knows her place, she should get lost on her own. It’s been sh*t having to humor her all this time.”

Thadeus just moved his lips like someone who’d forgotten how to speak. His flustered expression made me angrier. It felt like even he was pitying the pathetic me. It seemed like he couldn’t even make excuses anymore because his true feelings were exposed.

“I’m… sorry for bothering you all this time. I didn’t know you pitied me. And I’ll get lost on my own, just like you want.”

“Clea. That’s not…!”

I heard a voice trying to hold me back, but I turned around and ran toward the path I’d come from. If I looked at Thadeus’s face, I felt like I’d collapse right there and burst into tears, and if I heard an apology from him, I might want to stay by Thadeus’s side without knowing my place.

Even as I moved away, Kailen boasted, asking if Thadeus wasn’t grateful he’d gotten rid of the annoying thing for him. It couldn’t help but be truly miserable.

No matter what happens, I’ll never like you again.

I threw away the wooden sword I’d been clutching like a treasure somewhere on the road while leaving Thadeus’s estate. Memories of cherishing it carefully so it wouldn’t get scratched passed through my mind, but now it was just trash.

And that night, I suffered from a fever. I remember being terribly sick for a very long time. 

When I came to my senses, my parents shed tears, saying they thought something terrible had happened. At that sight, I burst into tears without realizing it.

From now on, I won’t like anyone. And I won’t honestly show my heart either.

The memory of that day left a wound deep in my heart. After that, Thadeus came to the estate several times saying he wanted to talk, but I didn’t go out each time. As time passed, Thadeus left for the academy, and we grew distant like that.

Meeting Thadeus again happened when I fell in one-sided love with Schwein, making my resolution meaningless.

Originally, even though Schwein and Thadeus attended the same academy, I heard they had no connection and it was safe to say they didn’t know each other. Then at some point, they were seen together and seemed to have grown close rapidly.

Ironically, Thadeus, whom I met after a long time, tried to treat me like before. With an even nastier temperament as a bonus.

“Don’t talk to me. I have nothing to say to you.”

“What should I do? I was born rotten, so when someone says they don’t want me to do something, I want to do it more.”

The more I tried to avoid him, the more persistently he tormented me. Like someone determined to make the ember of resentment in my heart blaze. He was still an endlessly annoying person.