The voice that broke the silence sounded more menacing than usual. Even without asking, I could feel Thadeus’s mood had soured considerably. 

The old woman smiled leisurely, seemingly unbothered by his fierce demeanor.

“The person it’s directed at knows best.”

Brilliant golden eyes and dark black eyes clashed in midair. I felt something would happen if I left them like this, so I dragged Thadeus outside, telling him to stop.

When we emerged from the tent, the fireworks parade was just about to begin. The plaza with the best view of the fireworks parade was already crowded with people. 

My heart grew anxious that we’d lose even the remaining spots.

“Let’s hurry over there too.”

Thadeus still seemed in a bad mood because of the old woman’s words. However, he moved his feet reluctantly under my persistent urging.

After wandering for a while, we settled on a quiet hill path. We searched and searched for a decent spot, ultimately ending up far from the festival street. 

It was disappointing not to enjoy the parade with others, but instead, it was good for watching quietly without any disturbances.

Soon, large fireworks bloomed in the night sky. The fireworks, each holding brilliant colors, made my heart flutter just from watching. 

Their shapes sometimes became fully bloomed flowers, and other times poured down beautifully like shooting stars.

I was focusing on the beautiful fireworks parade when I felt a sticky gaze from somewhere. 

When I turned around, there was Thadeus staring quietly at me without even glancing at the fireworks parade. Because of the fireworks bursting above, colorful shadows fell across his black eyes.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why suddenly… are you asking that?”

“I felt like I should ask at a time like this.”

My heart felt dizzy. Even though my head knew I should refuse him, my mouth wouldn’t open easily. After tonight passes, we won’t have any reason to see each other again anyway. 

Just the act of kissing wouldn’t be worse than what we’d already done. As I blinked in confusion, Thadeus suddenly smiled.

“You just consented with your eyes.”

In that moment, our lips overlapped. Hot breath melted in that instant. Tongues tangled and rubbed intimately against membranes. Heat boiled at the wet sounds flowing out.

I couldn’t breathe. My heart pounded violently like it would burst. It wasn’t like we’d never kissed while being intimate before. It was truly strange. 

The world seemed to stop around us, and the fireworks that had sparkled in the night sky just moments ago seemed to lose their light and disappear forever.

Our lips that had been pressed together for a while separated very slowly. Deep desire showed in Thadeus’s eyes looking at me. I could clearly feel he wanted me right now.

But the words that flowed from his mouth were different from my expectations.

“Clea, what would you think if I couldn’t become Commander of the Knights?”

“…Commander? Why suddenly that?”

“Training’s been scheduled. For two months. It wouldn’t be a problem to skip it, but it’d be hard to get good scores on the evaluation.”

Tomorrow, our promised time ends anyway. There’s no reason to see each other, so I didn’t understand why he was asking me this. If there was someone to ask, it should be his fiancée, not me.

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Then who should I ask?”

Does he think I don’t know about his fiancée’s existence? My mood started to sour.

“At least not me.”

“Why not you, Clea? Then what about your body? What will you do every time you go into heat?”

Was this also part of his cheap pity? Because he felt sorry for me. 

Because he pitied me more than anything in the world. Would he give up even his childhood dream of becoming Commander to help me? 

While I hesitated to answer, Thadeus’s face crumpled.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got another b*stard?”

“No, it’s not that…”

I was about to explain the nullification magic Luina cast when I suddenly got angry.

‘Why should I be making excuses like this in the first place? Like someone who committed a crime.’

Something about this was wrong. I didn’t have another man, and even if I did, there would be no problem between us. 

The contract period we’d agreed on from the start ends tomorrow, and it was ridiculous for someone with a fiancée to interrogate me like this.

“What if I did?”

Thadeus let out a scoff. A dry laugh that would blow across a desolate desert bloomed. Then his face hardened coldly. 

Murderous intent rippled through him, like he was thinking of that man beyond whom he didn’t even know the face of.

“What b*stard is it?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“So I can go kill him. And if you want to meet another man, go ahead. Then I’ll kill him the same way.”

I got chills at his twisted possessiveness. His distorted eyes in the darkness choked my breath like they were strangling me.

He doesn’t even like me anyway. 

What kind of mindset is this? A desire not to lose a toy he can treat however he wants? Or does he want to keep me as a mistress even after marriage because we’re sexually compatible?

Whatever reason I considered, only displeasure rose. The sorrow I’d been holding back finally burst out like a flood.

“What are we to each other? What are you and I? Weren’t we just a casual relationship meeting because we wanted to?”

Thadeus’s face twisted. He looked like someone who’d been hurt. It was truly absurd.

“Don’t talk carelessly.”

“Why? Think about what you did to me. What you did under the pretext of soothing my magic side effects.”

“…”

“Isn’t that something you’d only do to worn-out prostitutes?”

“That’s not…!”

“Then what? Would you have acted that way if you truly loved me?”

Thadeus said nothing. That silence sounded cruel. I’d said it to hurt him, but I ended up hurt instead. As expected, Thadeus hadn’t changed from the past, and I was a fool repeating the same mistake.

When I tried to leave, Thadeus grabbed my wrist. The time had truly come to let go of that warmth I’d grown accustomed to. I shook off the held hand and said coldly.

“Don’t hold me. Our contract ends here, so let’s never see each other again.”

That was our last moment. Thadeus didn’t come looking for me, and I didn’t go to meet him either. It was an utterly futile ending.

* * *

A month passed after breaking up with Thadeus. It was well past the month Father had mentioned, but he didn’t press me as much as I’d expected. 

He didn’t nag me to hurry and get married or threaten to marry me off to an old nobleman. When I lay in my room doing nothing like a sick chicken, he only expressed concern, asking what was wrong.

“No. Nothing’s wrong.”

Rachel seemed to have roughly figured out the situation even without any explanation. I no longer met with Thadeus whom I’d seen every day, and had been languishing ever since—it would be stranger if it didn’t show.

Rachel, who’d been quietly watching me all this time, approached carefully. Then she whispered softly.

“Lady Clea, there’s a ball tonight. It’s a very large ball, so many people will come.”

“…Really?”

“How about going?”

Rachel, who’d been hesitating, added in a small voice.

“Young Master Schwein might be there too.”

Come to think of it, I remembered I’d planned to confess my feelings to Schwein before the month ended. I’d even transformed into a flying squirrel because of that. I didn’t think much about Schwein anymore. 

Rather, when days with Thadeus naturally passed through my mind, my heart hurt like it had been stabbed with a knife.

‘By now, Thadeus must be preparing for his engagement ceremony with his fiancée, right? Or maybe… he found a woman more sexually compatible than me.’

Thinking that made my heart endlessly depressed. This foolish Clea. Thadeus doesn’t care about someone like me anyway. We were a relationship worth less than dust. Just a relationship desperate to handle rising l*st.

When did I start liking him again? Why did I make such a foolish choice again? 

Love was a selfish emotion like a thoughtless child that could bounce anywhere. The more I tried to understand it, the more I fell into the illusion of becoming a fool.

“This stupid idiot…!”

At my muttering, Rachel’s face turned tearful.

“Yes…? Oh, my lady…”

Rachel apologized, saying she’d spoken out of turn. I hurriedly told her that wasn’t it, but Rachel looked at me with disbelief.

“If not that…?”

“I just feel stupid myself.”

“Why would our lady be stupid? You’re so pretty, cute, and lovely.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Have you ever seen me lie?”

Rachel was always like that. Since childhood, she’d stayed by my side telling me I was the prettiest and most lovable being in the world.

Saying how proud and honored she was to serve me. That young lady always caused trouble and must have been difficult, yet how did she never show signs of hardship?

Thinking about it, I wasn’t very lonely even without many friends nearby. I envied the noble girls my age who hung out together, but only briefly. I already had precious people by my side who gave me plenty of love.

So I couldn’t stay depressed thinking about someone like Thadeus forever. Haven’t I already wasted a whole month like this? I didn’t want to be helplessly swayed anymore like I had been.

“Rachel, I’ll go to that ball.”

Rachel blinked without saying anything. Then light shone in her eyes like shooting stars had fallen. She smiled brightly and said to me.

“Good decision, my lady! I’ll take care of all the ball preparations, so you really don’t have to do anything. Just trust me!”

With Rachel’s help, the grooming finished quickly. She said it was a secret concept that could emphasize my delicacy. Even looking in the mirror, I just looked plainer than usual. 

One slightly concerning point was that the woman reflected in the mirror exuded a somewhat forlorn atmosphere and was pale enough that it wouldn’t be strange if she collapsed at any moment.

“Don’t I look too sick?”

“This is what stimulates men’s protective instincts. Just trust me, my lady!”

I nodded at Rachel’s words as she clenched her fist with sparkling eyes. I couldn’t relate, but what more could I say when Rachel insisted?

The ball I arrived at by carriage was truly crowded with many people. When noble young ladies spotted me, they frowned or hardened their faces. 

In contrast, the men couldn’t take their eyes off me or stared with mouths open and dazed expressions.

‘Is Rachel’s styling having an effect?’

The truly contrasting reactions felt both sour and fascinating. As I quietly scanned the ballroom with my eyes, there was a place where people gathered particularly densely. Looking there, I saw Thadeus dressed up more than usual.

‘Thadeus…? Why is he here?’

I definitely heard it was two months of training. Did it end early? Or did he not go from the start? 

Then a young lady with a particularly pretty smile grabbed Thadeus’s arm and whispered intimately in his ear. That sight made my insides boil.

‘It’s none of my business whether someone like Thadeus is with a woman or not.’

His fiancée before marriage is probably among them. Without realizing it, my throat felt parched, so I grabbed a wine glass nearby. 

When I filled my mouth, a fragrant grape aroma rose. My face naturally scrunched at the bitter aftertaste following the slight sweetness.

“Ugh, bitter…!”

But each time I drank, the inside of my throat warmed and I felt languid somewhere, so I kept gulping down wine. 

After completely emptying one glass, I felt slightly feverish. I left the ballroom to get some outside air when I ran into Schwein standing in the rose garden.

“Lady Clea came to the ball too.”

I thought he’d pretend not to know me, but unexpectedly, Schwein spoke first.

“Oh, hello, Sir Schwein.”

I saw a bird flapping its wings on Schwein’s hand. Its fluffy-looking feathers, sesame-like black eyes, and head-tilting appearance were quite cute.

“Is it a bird you’re raising yourself?”

“It’s a bird whose injured wing I treated before. Lady Clea must have seen it once too.”

Come to think of it, I recalled the small bird on his hand when I was with Thadeus in front of the Frea tree before. It was quite scruffy then—when did it become this pretty?

“Amazing. Its appearance from then…”

“Very different, right?”

“Yes, to think such a lovely bird had an injured wing. So it’s completely recovered now?”

“That’s right. But even when I release it outside, it doesn’t leave and keeps returning to my side.”