Chapter 6

The poetry collection of King Pirap had been a gift her grandmother gave to her grandfather after he passed away. Her grandmother, who had been the youngest daughter of the owner of a large merchant guild, was said to have had a great interest in old things. She had often been scolded for secretly taking away antiques one by one, things whose value could not even be measured in money. Among them, the poetry collection of King Pirap was a treasure her grandmother cherished dearly. A book said to bind even souls together if given to the one you love. Someday, when she met a man she liked, she had wanted to confirm whether the rumor was true, that King Pirap’s old book bound body and soul together. In her youth, her grandmother had been beautiful and proud. No ordinary man ever caught her eye. Then, at a village festival, she fell in love at first sight with a young nobleman. Of all people, a nobleman. Those around her told her to give up, but instead of giving up, her grandmother placed King Pirap’s poetry collection into her grandfather’s hands. Her grandfather had seated young Judith on his lap and told her in secret, ‘Without even knowing that I had fallen for your grandmother first,’ and then entrusted both the old book and her grandmother to her. He asked that when she became old enough to understand love, King Pirap’s old book would become Judith’s, and that she should grant his request.

Even as an archaeologist, King Pirap’s poetry collection was an object she coveted. While waiting for the poetry collection she would one day inherit, she had even gone to great lengths to gather relics of King Pirap. She had meant to magnificently speak in place of her grandfather’s confession that way, and yet.

It seemed her grandmother intended to punish her granddaughter for deceiving her in this way.

“Grandmother.”

Judith stepped into the drawing room, stood beside her grandmother, and whispered softly. Only then did Madame Loewe’s eyes narrow as she noticed Judith’s presence. The gazes of those sitting on the drawing room sofa, listening to the explanation about King Pirap’s old book, all poured toward Judith.

Judith grabbed her grandmother’s sleeve and tugged it lightly. Her grandmother could hardly fail to understand that it meant she wanted her to step outside for a moment and talk.

“May I go talk with my granddaughter for a moment?”

“Of course.”

Madame Loewe rose from her seat, asked the guests for their understanding, and was led out into the corridor by Judith’s hand.

“Grandmother. Who are all those people?”

Judith pushed her grandmother into the room beside them and whispered quickly.

“Can’t you tell? They’re people from the National Museum and reporters.”

“No. I mean. Why are those people here?”

“Are you asking because you truly don’t know? They’re here to ask me to donate King Pirap’s old book.”

That happened from time to time. Madame Loewe opened her eyes round and blinked slowly. As though she truly had no idea what Judith meant. Judith felt as if her insides were burning up. She beat at her chest with her clenched fist and let out a long breath before drawing one back in.

“It’s mine. Grandfather left it to me.”

“……To be exact, Judith, he said he would give it to you when you reached an age to understand love.”

Madame Loewe fell silent for a moment and stared at her granddaughter. A child who shut herself up only in her research room. A child who had no interest in anything around her unless it was her own work. A child who did not even notice who came to the house unless someone called for her. So she probably had not known that people from the museum had been eyeing the relics of the Loewe family. Madame Loewe observed her granddaughter with a curious look.

“Ha. I’m twenty-eight. I’m more than old enough to know love.”

“No.”

Madame Loewe cut Judith off in a firm tone. Judith blinked and stared blankly at her grandmother.

“Simply getting older does not mean you understand love. Judith, have you ever loved? You, who avoids men the moment you see them, what love could you possibly have experienced?”

“Well. That’s.”

She had nothing to say. At twenty-eight, the only thing she had ever done was confess. A love she had carried alone. A love that had been wretchedly ignored, at that. Was unrequited love not love too? She wanted to ask, but she lacked the courage. If her grandmother were to ask what was so lacking in her that she had boiled alone in her feelings, or if she said that if she had been rejected she should simply meet another man, it would only make things more awkward. She did not want to deepen the emotional rift with her grandmother any further. Because she knew her grandmother’s nagging came from love toward her. It was tiring, but she let it pass. However, handing the old book over to someone else was a different matter. This was something she absolutely could not endure.

“I can do it. That little thing called love. I can do it too.”

“Really?”

“So send all those people away.”

“And if I say I don’t believe you?”

Knock knock.

As though it had all been arranged in advance, the sound of knocking came at the same time as her grandmother’s question. Judith swallowed dryly, and her grandmother opened the door with an unbothered expression.

The toe of a black shoe entered through the gap in the open door. Judith looked up at the man stepping into the space she shared with her grandmother and swallowed back the curse she could not quite spit out.

What is this? Have my eyes gone strange or something?

“Ah, Johannes. I heard the news that you had returned. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s been a long time, Grandmother Louise.”

Johannes took the fingertips Louise Loewe extended toward him and kissed them. At the sight of his red, tempting lips brushing against her wrinkled fingertips before parting, goosebumps rose on Judith’s skin. She hadn’t seen wrong. It really was Johannes Meyer kissing her grandmother’s fingertips. Her anger over the old book vanished, and her vision went dark.

* * *

She had spent a night with a man whose face she did not even know, and her grandmother was saying she would hand over the old book her grandfather had left behind to a museum. Just those two incidents alone were enough to make her head feel as though it would burst. And now damned Johannes had appeared right in front of her too.

Recalling the nightmare she had had the night before, Judith bit the tender flesh inside her mouth until it bled. The feelings that clung to Johannes even after her confession had been ignored. The heart that still ached whenever she thought of him. Beyond foolish pain, merely the fact that he stood before her now made heat flood through her whole body. Her heart, pounding so quickly like an idiot’s, felt as though it might burst her eardrums.

Judith hid her clenched fist behind her waist as she watched each of Johannes’s movements while he turned his gaze from her grandmother toward her.

“It’s been a long time, Judith.”

Ha. Johannes curved the long tails of his eyes and smiled so beautifully in the world. As though the girl he had hurt thirteen years ago did not matter to him in the slightest. Judith twisted her stiff mouth into a grotesque shape.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

She could not even make some smooth polite reply for form’s sake. It was fortunate enough that she had not stormed out at once.

“Has it been 13 years for us?”

“……”

Something about the way he asked made it feel like he was probing her, so she kept her mouth shut. Even the gaze that examined her was uncomfortable. If he had come to greet her grandmother, then he should just do it roughly and leave. Yet Johannes spoke as though he intended to catch up with an old friend after a long separation. Judith kept her gaze lowered to the floor and only nodded.

“Listen. I was in the middle of an important conversation with Grandmother. So if you’ve finished what you came for, could you head back now? Grandmother isn’t really in a position to receive guests either. I’d prefer it if you made an appointment with her and came another time.”

Her tightly locked voice spilled out helplessly. She had tried to draw a line, but her chest turned cold, wondering if she had spoken too harshly. She subtly rolled her eyes and looked at Johannes. He tilted his head slightly and stared off into the air. Emotion vanished from Johannes’s face. Seeing him stare blankly into space with that inorganic expression made Judith swallow dryly. Whenever Johannes fell into thought or deep consideration, he always made that sort of face. As though he were angry, or perhaps simply fed up.