“So, do you feel like telling me now?”

No matter how hard I tried to eavesdrop, there was nothing worth gleaning. The longer it dragged on, the more desperate I became, while he held all the cards.

After much deliberation, I knocked on his office door first. Ernst, wearing a black shirt with one button undone, opened the door with practiced ease. 

I sat on the sofa with familiar movements, like I’d been coming and going from this place for a long time, and he sat across from me, loosely crossing his arms.

Everything was identical to that day, like a carbon copy.

“Write it here.”

He held out a pristine white sheet of paper. Ernst’s attitude remained leisurely and calm as always. He showed no anger, disappointment, or reproach about that day’s incident. 

The thought briefly crossed my mind that maybe he was trying to cover it up so I wouldn’t be embarrassed, but I quickly dismissed it. He wasn’t that kind of man.

Either way, there was nothing disadvantageous for me, so I went along with his tune, pretending to be confident too.

“Pen.”

It was the pen I’d thrown away. I’d thought it would be damaged somewhere, but it was in better condition than expected. My mood grew uncomfortable for no reason. I picked up the pen, pretending nothing was wrong, and wrote down my business.

<Tell me who you are>

Once I steadied my resolve, the rest came easily. He’d taken care of me when I was most vulnerable, so naturally I’d pay attention to him. He was the only person by my side, so naturally I’d miss his warmth.

I just needed to steel my heart more firmly. If I lived ignoring him like now, Ernst wouldn’t become more of a hangnail to me.

Still, was it anxiety that made me feel I needed to escape this man’s boundaries as soon as possible? 

To do that, I’d need to be self-sufficient, but I was an incompetent person with no money and no skills. That was me. So I changed my approach.

Let me at least dig into his identity and confirm he’s safe. Then during the grace period I’d gained, I’d somehow create an opportunity to become independent. I’d leave this house as soon as possible and eliminate any chance of clashing with Ernst.

Someone who’d crossed death’s threshold and returned could change this much.

“Identity?”

At my deliberately blunt question, he furrowed his brow slightly. Fine wrinkles formed on his smooth skin, but you wouldn’t notice unless you looked closely.

“I thought I said I was Lucas’s close friend and your guardian.”

Still, when I just stared at him, he exhaled a shallow breath. A somewhat troubled—no, perplexed—look briefly crossed his previously calm eyes.

“I didn’t know you’d still be so guarded against me. It’s a bit shocking.”

“……”

“Many days have passed and you’re still safe. Isn’t that answer enough?”

That could certainly be true. But it might not be. What if he was waiting for the moment he needed me, then planned to sell me off somewhere?

I lowered my eyes without showing it. My gaze unconsciously went to the pen, and I quickly shifted my eyes to the paper. The man didn’t miss that brief moment.

“That’s yours.”

I pretended not to notice, pressing my lips tight, and picked up the pen again instead.

<Things like what you do. The expenses are doubled because of me. I’m uncomfortable just receiving.>

Seeing the somewhat longer sentence, this time he pressed his closed lips together. He stayed frozen like that for quite a while before a low laugh flowed between his parted lips.

“I have lots of money, so don’t worry. This house is mine too.”

Half-playfully narrowing his eyes, Ernst pulled forward his leaning upper body. I learned for the first time today just how clear his blue eyes were.

“And saying it’s doubled because of you is a bit insulting.”

“……”

“I eat way more and spend way more than you.”

Then he laughed quietly once more, like something was so amusing. It was truly a curious sight. Today he’d laughed the most and the brightest I’d ever seen. What was so funny?

I couldn’t laugh, not knowing the reason.

“Anyway, Liv, you just use things. Just ask. Order me around. That’s your job.”

“……”

“From now on, for one year, two years, until you get sick of it. Do whatever you want. Whatever it is.”

“……”

“Whatever you want. I won’t do anything you dislike.”

“……”

“Because I’m no different from your brother.”

That ended my mission to dig into his identity. Ernst coaxed me gently—no, toyed with me—easily dodging the point. I, who could only move my fingers, had no choice but to lose.

All I gained from that relatively long conversation was a promise to go out to town. At my request to show me the way, Ernst readily nodded and willingly volunteered to accompany me. 

Even though I definitely hadn’t asked. He even insisted we absolutely had to go together, saying it was dangerous.

It was truly uncharacteristic meddling from him.

It felt off, but I had no grounds to refuse. In the end, I agreed, and Ernst finished smoothly with a rare look of satisfaction, saying we’d go out soon. Though suspicion sprouted about why he was showing such kindness, it made sense when I substituted my brother Lucas.

Ernst had said he was no different from my brother. This must be something worth caring about.

He was someone who treated me like an invisible person even in the same house, something was definitely strange. Yet at some point, I’d been attaching reasons for him, like I was his spokesperson.

* * *

Similar days continued until we put the outing into action. The surprisingly long conversation disappeared like a mirage, and our relationship returned to how it was before. 

A relationship where the man read the newspaper and I occasionally crossed around him, but we treated each other as less than air.

But I felt no disappointment or anything like that. I tried not to. Because this was right. 

Though I still didn’t understand and was even irritated by that inconsistent attitude of approaching me with seeming intimacy when we talked, then coldly transforming when there was no business.

“If you’re done getting ready, why don’t you come down?”

At the gentle voice coming from downstairs, I gave my skirt a final pat and hurried down the stairs. Each time my knees bent and straightened, the fluttering hem softly wrapped around my calves then fell away.

Though I’d never formally gone out, when I first opened my eyes in this house, the wardrobe was already full. Plus the clothes he continuously brought in afterward. 

You don’t know how much trouble I had barely choosing this pale pink dress, the most modest-looking among countless dresses.

There was also a large jewelry box filled with all sorts of accessories, but I hadn’t looked at it again since the day I first opened the lid. Same with the jewels he additionally ordered and brought.

Alongside the strange feeling of both burden and queasiness, there was also a small uncomfortable sensation. Because the clothes and accessories were all things I liked without exception.

It felt like my tastes were completely transparent, enough to raise subtle emotions. But I forcibly suppressed them, recalling Lucas. If he was really close with Lucas, my brother who loved bragging about his sister might have blabbed about my likes and dislikes.

“Pretty.”

That’s what Ernst said as soon as he saw me. I turned my gaze away, pretending not to hear, but only after fully taking in everything from his head to his toes.

Ernst stood leaning his back against the wall with his arms loosely crossed, wearing a thin black long coat over a dark gray shirt buttoned up to the neck. He looked splendid. 

A light smile caught and disappeared at the corners of his long eyes as he tilted his head slightly to look up at me.

“I thought that color would suit you well.”

With those words, Ernst held out his hand to me, seemingly to escort me. I ignored him with a stiff face and passed right by him. Because I’d never received such an elegant escort in my life and didn’t know what to do.

Besides, weren’t we not the kind of relationship to exchange such embarrassing acts?

“So spirited even alone.”

Though it was a mutter, I couldn’t not know it was meant for me to hear. I kept my mouth shut tight and opened the door, taking a step forward.

“Wait a moment.”

He’d somehow overtaken me in big strides and stopped me. Ernst’s long arm suddenly approached my face. My eyes squeezed shut without realizing.

Hot skin brushed my forehead. The area under my eyes trembled.

“Done.”

I opened my eyes at the hand that had already withdrawn. A thin thread was held in Ernst’s hand.

“Did you want pink hair so you stuck it to your forehead to walk around?”

I felt no need to answer that rude question from someone who didn’t even try to hide his amusement.

* * *

The town was closer than expected. We arrived quickly even without taking a separate carriage. 

I’d started walking while cursing internally, forced along because Ernst had ruthlessly pushed, saying I needed to move around more, but when I actually measured it, it seemed to take less than an hour. I sweated a little, but this much was nothing.

“It’s nice and quiet.”

He spoke while scanning with calm eyes the people sporadically crossing the street. I silently agreed. Hern, which looked modest, was more prosperous than expected but didn’t have many people compared to that. 

I felt somewhat relieved by the premonition that it would be more peaceful than when I lived in Sale. There were people glancing this way, but that was probably because of this man.

“Anywhere you want to go?”

I pulled out a palm-sized piece of paper from my bag like I’d been waiting for this.

<The bookstore.>

“You really love books. But what should we do? The bookstore here isn’t very big.”

Ernst had definitely deliberately crushed my expectations. He absolutely had a nasty temperament. Otherwise, how could the bookstore be the best building I’d seen while passing through?

Ding-a-ling—we entered with the sound of a bell. The smell of old books bored into my nose. A thick sense of security rushed in, like being wrapped snugly in a thick, soft blanket.

I slowly looked around the bookstore, examining here and there. Ernst quietly followed me from a few steps behind. 

Doing incomprehensible things like pulling out, skimming, and putting back the same books I pulled out, skimmed, and put back.