Chapter 8

Between your presence and your absence.

She waited for him on that boundary line. Always, from the moment he left.

And now he, whom she had waited for in that way, existed in this world and stood before her. The name she had called only in her heart, he now spoke to her himself.

He looked younger than when they had first met, but the feeling he gave off was the same.

The scent of him she had missed so much lingered at the tip of her nose.

A scent like being in a winter forest.

It was the scent of that northern land, which had been winter and yet warm.

If they were to meet, she had wondered over and over what kind of expression she should wear.

The conclusion was always one. Absurdly, she wanted to look pretty to him.

“Ha, I shouldn’t be crying.”

Even while shedding tears, she kept smiling at the fact that he was in front of her.

Kardin narrowed his brows and bent his upper body toward her slightly.

“Saintess, has something happened?”

She rolled her lips inward and shook her head, holding back the words, ‘It’s just because I saw you.’

When Kardin tried to take a step back from her, she grabbed his arm without realizing it.

Perhaps startled by her action, he looked at her and then spoke again.

“Wasn’t it because you were frightened of me?”

“No. Not at all, not at all.”

Because there was no way she could be frightened of him. To her, he was the person in this world whose sense of responsibility was so strong it was almost foolishly excessive.

“Then why are you doing this?”

At the same time as she opened her mouth, tears once again streamed down her cheeks.

“Because I wanted to see you. Grand Duke Ferdian.”

“Why are you looking at me with those eyes?”

“Because no matter how much I look, I still want to keep looking.”

Without even wiping away the tears that fell, she smiled and said the words she had wanted to tell him without realizing it.

“You are treating me as though I were someone you have not seen for a very long time. I have no connection at all with the Temple of Melissa.”

Kardin was right. To him, this was their first meeting.

When she gave no answer at all, he spoke again.

“I have not even been the Grand Duke for very long, and yet you know who I am.”

So that was it. For both him and her, this was that kind of time.

“Because you are famous for being handsome. And because you are an impressive person as well.”

Perhaps what she really wanted to say was that she was proud of him. So you were this young once too.

“What do you mean by impressive?”

“That you are protecting the warm north.”

“The warm north……”

He repeated the words she had spoken under his breath, then gave a short laugh. She answered with a faint smile.

“You look good when you smile.”

She liked his smile.

“And what is that supposed to……”

For an instant, he seemed flustered and touched his mouth.

Why was it so enjoyable to see him look flustered? The corners of her lips had no intention of falling.

“I did not say it to make you smile. But still, I am glad to see you smiling, Grand Duke.”

“Then do you really mean that, about the warm north?”

“Yes, I mean it. And I also meant what I said about you being handsome.”

“Ahem.”

Still unable to remove the woman clutching his arm, he turned his head aside and cleared his throat. Only then did she let go of his arm.

Looking at him, she smiled brightly and held out her hand.

Kardin looked at the hand extended toward him, then soon took it in his own large hand. His hand, big and filled with rough calluses, seemed as though it might swallow hers whole.

When he furrowed his brow out of habit, she pressed a finger to the space between his brows without thinking.

‘You furrow your brow every time.’

‘So you press it with your finger to make me smooth it out?’

‘Well, something like that. Don’t frown. Everyone thinks you’re scary.’

At her own action, both he and she were startled, and for an instant silence fell. Just from exchanging a few words with him, her actions from the past had surfaced on their own.

She quickly pulled back her finger and spoke.

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

Running a hand over his brow, he asked:

“And what was that just now?”

“It’s something like a habit, and I was rude.”

“……”

“I’m sorry once again.”

“It’s all right.”

She lowered her head and quietly looked at their still-clasped hands, then closed her eyes.

And for the first time, she breathed a blessing into him.

Throughout the past three lives, she had had no holy power she could give him.

Perhaps that had become a lingering regret. She poured into him a level of holy power utterly different from anything she had used until now.

Perhaps he felt the holy power rushing out of her into him, because he suddenly seized her wrist and asked:

“What are you doing?”

Looking at him as he raised one brow and tilted his head, she answered:

“A blessing.”

“Why are you breathing such a thing into me?”

Because I hoped that in this life, your winter would not be cold, and that this time, flowers would bloom in your winter.

She pressed down the feelings in her heart, then smiled brightly and spoke.

“Shall I call it repayment for handing me the handkerchief?”

“Is this mere handkerchief important enough to receive a blessing? Or do you normally hand out blessings so easily?”

Kardin truly seemed curious.

Knowing that he was not someone who would usually throw out so many questions, she willingly answered them one by one.

“Yes. Because it is the first one I have received. And as I am the daughter of an unmerciful God, you are only the second person I have given a blessing to.”

“……”

“Ah, the handkerchief, later……”

Having spoken the word later, she could not finish the rest.

Because she wondered whether she was allowed to see him again. In this life, he should not become entangled with her.

“If there is a later, return it then.”

After finishing his words, he slowly withdrew the hand clasping hers.

She tucked away her regret carefully and gave a nod.

“……Yes. It was nice to meet you, Grand Duke of Ferdian.”

With her answer, their meeting came to an end.

She remained standing there, taking in the sight of his back as he walked away.

“I was glad to see you. Selfishly enough, just seeing you makes me simply happy.”

Her hand holding the handkerchief he had left behind tightened on its own.

Even as she returned to her room, the afterimage of Kardin remained.

Kardin, who looked young, just as she did, having returned through time.

It truly has not changed, that yours is a face I want to keep seeing. I really……

“Saintess!”

At the voice calling her, she lifted her head and saw Amy running toward her.

“Saintess! Where did you go and come back from! I have been looking for you for ages.”

“I’m sorry, I was taking a walk. I made you worry.”

“Huh? Saintess?! Why are your eyes so red?! Did something happen?”

She lightly smiled and shook her head from side to side.

“I suppose it was because the air was cold.”

“Oh dear, we need to do your makeup again! There isn’t much time left before the banquet!”

Amy grabbed her hand and hurried ahead with quick steps.

When she sat before the dressing table and looked in the mirror, much of her makeup had indeed come off.

To think she had seen him looking like this. Regret came to her naturally. Really, without any sense.

“Amy.”

“Yes! Saintess.”

“Could you make me look even prettier than before?”

Amy answered with peals of laughter, seeming to find her words endlessly amusing.

“Saintess, you are beautiful no matter what! But I’ll do my very best!”

“Yes, thank you.”

Because just in case.

If they happened to meet again, she selfishly wished to see him while looking beautiful.

Around the time her preparations were nearly done, the sound of a knock came at the door.

Knock knock.

“Saintess.”

“Yes. Come in.”

The one who entered after opening the door was the royal maid who had guided her to the room.

“Saintess, the banquet has begun, so I have come to escort you.”

She rose from her seat, stroked Amy’s head, and answered:

“I see. Shall we go now?”

“Yes, if you will follow me.”

At the woman’s words, she nodded, then turned a gentle smile toward Amy.

Though she did not know what it meant, Amy clenched her fist and gave a short nod.

“I’ll be back.”

“Yes!”

She followed the one guiding her and walked toward the banquet hall.

The corridor was quiet, so it seemed all the nobles of the Helen Kingdom had already entered.

When she reached the front of the banquet hall, the gatekeeper only stared at her with wide round eyes.

She smiled gently and offered him proper courtesy with a silent bow.

“I am ready.”

“Ahem. Ah! Yes!”

Only then did he swallow dryly and announce her entrance in a loud voice so that everyone inside could hear.

“The Saintess of the Temple of Melissa, Lady Shallen Melissa, is entering!”