Only after crossing the threshold of the courtesan house did I finally feel like I could breathe. But the moment the other courtesans heard the news and came swarming in, the air closed up again.

“Hey, Nagyeong. How are you feeling?”

The words sounded like concern for my wellbeing, but their eyes were burning with eagerness to hear about last night. Using the excuse of putting my hair up, they sat me down so I could not escape and unleashed a torrent of questions.

“Was the gentleman rough with you last night?”

“No.”

I answered each question dutifully but without feeling, careful not to let slip that the coming-of-age ceremony had not actually taken place, and not wanting to invite pity. My short answers should have made for dull conversation, but apparently they did not.

“Was he everything they say?”

“What do they say?”

“Ah… you would have no way of knowing.”

All at once, they began chattering away about the rumors surrounding Baek Seungjo, rumors they had kept from me until now, as though a seal had finally been broken.

“That he practically lives in the courtesan houses of Hanyang.”

“Ah…”

I had already heard as much at yesterday’s banquet. But to think the rumors had spread all the way from the courtesan houses of Hanyang to this courtesan house in Pyongan Province. Courtesans’ networks had always moved faster than dispatch riders, so it was not truly surprising.

“They say the Chief Royal Secretary is generous with his money, and so exceptional in looks and character that the courtesans of Hanyang are absolutely beside themselves over him.”

“But strangely enough, for a man who loves women so much, they say he is particular about who he takes to bed. Even the most celebrated courtesans throw themselves at him and beg for just one night, and he still turns them away.”

“So for that picky gentleman to have taken you without a second thought, Nagyeong, you must be so lucky…”

Smack!

Someone’s palm flew across the face of the courtesan who had been spouting that nonsense.

“Watch your mouth!”

To tell a woman who should have become Baek Seungjo’s lawful wife that she was lucky to have been chosen by him as a courtesan was not comfort. It was an insult.

Only then did the courtesan realize her blunder and clap her hands over her mouth in alarm. An awkward silence settled over the room. What on earth could I possibly say at a moment like this.

“Just finish putting my hair up.”

The hands that had stopped began moving busily again. They could have simply kept their hands moving, but someone opened her mouth in an attempt to comfort me.

“By the way, did you hear? Apparently the Minister of War offered his granddaughter to the Chief Royal Secretary, and the Chief Royal Secretary declined. The way I see it, he still cannot forget you…”

“Ha, that is wishful thinking!”

One of the courtesans who had always looked at me with a sour eye cut in with a scoff.

“If he became the Minister of War’s son-in-law, he would have to mind his in-laws and could not carouse freely, so he ran.”

“Goodness, you cannot read a situation at all. He cannot forget her, so instead of staying in Hanyang where he ought to be, he came barging into this provincial office and swept his beloved away.”

“And that is exactly what carousing is!”

At that point, a young courtesan who had been sitting quietly with wide, bright eyes, listening to the older ones talk, suddenly spoke up.

“Then could the gentleman not remove Nagyeong unni from the courtesan registry?”

“……”

“Is that not why he came all this way?”

In an instant, a heavy silence fell over the noisy room.

The girl tilted her head, puzzled. She had no idea how naive and yet how dangerous her words were.

A courtesan who had been sold could be bought out with money. But I was the daughter of a man convicted of high treason.

Unless my name was cleared or a royal decree came down, no one could restore my status. Not even if every last coin in Joseon was poured into the effort.

And above all else…

“He does not know that I am Seollyeon.”

“Ah…”

“All of you, do not tell him who I am.”

But what authority did my words carry with the courtesans? I borrowed someone else’s authority instead.

“The Minister of War and the Governor did not reveal to him yesterday that I was Han Seollyeon.”

Only then did the courtesans fall silent. They would not dare defy the wishes of those powerful men, so they would likely not breathe a word about my being Seollyeon going forward.

“Then shall we use the hairpin the Governor gave you?”

The one who had been quietly tending to my hair asked.

“No. Use this one…”

I took out the hairpin Baek Seungjo had lent me and set it down. Park Wonchul’s gift had been a jade hairpin, so this silver lotus hairpin should have been something none of them had ever seen.

“…Where did this come from?”

“Wait… could this be… did the Chief Royal Secretary give this to you?”

I wondered how they could possibly recognize this hairpin, and then…

“Good heavens! This is Head Courtesan Aewol’s hairpin from Chaeun-gak!”

“…What?”

This hairpin was mine. What were they talking about?

“Ah, Nagyeong would not know.”

One of the courtesans explained with great excitement to my bewildered face. Aewol was the head courtesan of the finest courtesan house in Hanyang, and her close bond with Baek Seungjo was widely known.

The hairpin he always carried at his waist had become famous along with her. It was the token Aewol, proud and haughty as she was, had given Baek Seungjo after finally sharing a night with him.

…It was not mine?

I stared down at the hairpin in my hand. The last time I had seen this object was five years ago, and I had not had it in my sight for even a full day. So perhaps I had mistaken a similar hairpin for it.

And yet, in all my life I had never seen a silver hairpin with a white jade lotus carved at the top…

Of course, believing there could only be one such object in the entire world was nothing but arrogant presumption.

All this time I had refused to show weakness in front of others, keeping my composure even when I was crumbling inside, but the moment I learned the truth about this hairpin, a crack split across my face.

It had been another woman’s token. Then Baek Seungjo’s beloved was not me, but that courtesan in Hanyang.

Of course. Seungjo had never given me his heart, and I alone had been foolish enough to chase a hollow dream and let myself feel a flutter of hope. For an enemy, no less. I must have lost my mind.

The courtesan who took the hairpin from my hand paid no mind to my stricken expression and exclaimed in admiration.

“Did the gentleman truly give you this hairpin?”

“Good heavens! He must have liked you even more than Head Courtesan Aewol. Does that not mean you are the finest courtesan in the land?”

They no longer guarded their words in front of me. It was because Baek Seungjo had not recognized me. His appearance had confirmed it for them. I was no longer the woman who could become his lawful wife. I was nothing more than a lowly courtesan, the same as them.

That thinking was not wrong.

“How on earth did you win the heart of the Chief Royal Secretary, of all people?”

But this was wrong.

Win his heart, indeed. He only lent me this hairpin.

Not wanting to humiliate myself further, I held my tongue. The business of putting up my hair was finished by then anyway.

“How does it look?”

The one who had done my hair tilted a mirror this way and that in front of me. The woman in the mirror with her hair piled high and elaborate ornaments pinned in place was every bit a courtesan. The discomfort I felt had nothing to do with that station.

The white jade lotus jutting out from the side of my hair. Whether it was the hairpin he had once given me, or a token another woman had given him, it was something I had no wish to wear in my hair.

It will only be for a short while. He will leave this place soon enough.

I would return it to him then, and never have cause to wear it again.

That was what I believed.

Until I was summoned by the head courtesan.

I walked alongside Meoru, turning over in my mind the staggering words I had just heard from the head courtesan.

Baek Seungjo was gravely ill and would be convalescing here?

He had not looked the least bit unwell. But there was something even harder to make sense of than that.

Of all people, he had named me as the chamber courtesan to attend him?

I was a poisoner who had laced his wine. What possible reason could he have for keeping a source of trouble by his side?

No matter how I turned it over, it seemed far more plausible that he had no particular scheme at all than that he had some hidden design.

The annex where he would be staying had its gates thrown wide open and was in the middle of being readied for a guest. Servants were carrying in luggage and sweeping and scrubbing every corner without pause.

Thwack! Thwack!

Nansil was in the sunny courtyard, spreading out bedding and beating it with a paddle. Her movements had an almost festive energy, as though she were striking a drum. Just yesterday she had worn the hollow look of someone in mourning, yet now she was beaming.

Has something good happened?

As I drew closer, I could not help but open my eyes wide. Nansil, whom I had taken to be simply smiling, was wiping the corners of her eyes over and over with her sleeve.

“Why are you crying? Did someone mistreat you?”

It made no sense that she would be smiling if she had been wronged, but I could not help worrying.

“No. I am just so happy that I…”

Nansil quickly wiped her tears and looked sharply around her. Only after confirming that it was just the two of us did she take my hand firmly in hers and whisper in a voice thick with emotion.

“Young master Seungjo has finally come to save our young mistress.”