Chapter 3.5

After receiving the letter, Leticia found herself unable to fully concentrate on her work. Thoughts of him occupied a corner of her mind, distracting her throughout the day. She made several mistakes while working.  

He’s staying in the room I used to live in.  

Before she left, his actions toward her had indeed been thoughtful. He had taken great care of her, been considerate of her feelings, and tried to make her feel better. She could still picture him looking despondent, asking her to tell him how he could improve her mood.  

But even those memories couldn’t erase her doubts. 

Hadn’t he himself said that love was an illusion, just a fleeting emotion?  

Then why…  

“Madame, if you’re not feeling well, why don’t you leave things to us and go home to rest?”  

One of the staff members cautiously suggested this to her. Startled, Leticia realized her condition must have been obvious to others. She forced a smile.  

“I’m fine. I just have something on my mind…”  

Even as she said this, she could feel her body wasn’t in great shape. Although her health had improved compared to before, the strain of focusing too much on work since opening the café had caused her wrists and joints to ache again. She knew she needed to rest. Hearing news about Karl Lavresion only added to her inefficiency. But her sense of responsibility wouldn’t allow her to step away from her duties.  

It wasn’t until she had finished all her tasks for the day that she finally returned home. As she opened the door, smiling at the thought of the twins waiting for her, her smile quickly vanished.  

Before her stood Marie, looking flustered, and a woman she didn’t recognize, sitting comfortably in a chair as if it were her own home.  

“Oh, you’re here.” 

The woman greeted, waving her hand casually.  

Leticia’s mouth fell open. 

What is going on?  

“…Who are you?”  

At her question, the woman laughed softly, her eyes curving into a charming smile.  

“You don’t know who I am? I’m Amina, Princess of Arhadan and Karl Lavresion’s mother.”  

Amina beckoned to Leticia with a curled finger, her eyes still smiling. Leticia, stunned, stared blankly at her before hesitantly walking over, unable to resist the repeated gesture. Even Selina, who usually chattered away, seemed unnerved by the unfamiliar situation and simply alternated her gaze between Leticia and Amina.  

“Do you dislike Karl?”  

Amina asked bluntly as Leticia approached. Leticia glanced around nervously, her eyes darting to Marie. She needed to send her home first.  

“Marie, you can head home now. Thank you for your hard work today.”  

“…Are you sure, Madame?”  

“Yes, it’s fine. You can go.”  

“…Alright.”  

Marie packed her things hesitantly and left. Leticia then moved to a spot farther away from the twins, ensuring they wouldn’t overhear the conversation.  

“Let’s talk over here.”  

“Alright.”  

Amina stood up and approached slowly, her every movement exuding elegance and allure. Despite being Karl Lavresion’s mother—and therefore at least twenty years older than him—she looked no older than her thirties. She was dressed in the traditional attire of Arhadan, adorned with ornate jewelry and semi-transparent fabrics that revealed glimpses of her figure.  

“Karl said he wanted to take responsibility for you.”

Leticia hesitated before nodding. It seemed Amina knew at least part of the situation.  

Leticia glanced briefly at Amina, who stood with a slightly tilted posture, before lowering her gaze again. As Princess of Arhadan and the Emperor’s mistress, Amina had been the reason Leticia’s mother was abandoned by the Emperor, which had also deeply affected Leticia. Yet Amina showed no signs of guilt or pity. Instead, her eyes sparkled with curiosity.  

“Why didn’t you listen to Karl? It would have been better for you.”  

“I…”  

Explaining the intricacies of her situation to someone who didn’t fully understand was daunting. But there was one thing she could say for certain.  

“I didn’t want to live like my mother.”  

Amina, having likely heard about Leticia’s mother, would understand what she meant.  

“Like your mother? Crying pitifully after being abandoned? Or drowning in gambling and alcohol?”  

But Amina tilted her head, as if the connection wasn’t clear to her.  

“What does your mother have to do with you and Karl?”  

She didn’t understand at all. She couldn’t see the parallels between Leticia’s situation and her mother’s. Leticia felt a pang of disbelief.  

“Oh. Are you afraid Karl will abandon you?”  

When Leticia didn’t respond, Amina clapped her hands together as if she had figured it out.  

“Isn’t that worrying too much? Karl is a man who takes responsibility for his words. If he said he’d take responsibility, he’ll take care of you and the children.”  

“…But what if all that remains is responsibility, and the love fades away?”  

“Oh, my…”  

Amina covered her mouth with the back of her hand and let out a soft laugh. Even though she tried to hide it, it was clear she was mocking Leticia.  

“Your mother must have ended up like that because of thoughts like yours. If only she had thought differently from the start.”  

Amina didn’t understand Leticia’s perspective at all. Instead, she found it amusing. Leticia blinked blankly, unable to muster a response. She felt no urge to explain further or convince Amina otherwise. It was clear that no matter what she said, Amina wouldn’t understand.  

Leticia bit her lower lip in silence.  

“Why are you overcomplicating things? What’s so bad about it? Raising them alone is harder than living off Karl’s money. Why go out of your way to make things difficult for yourself?”  

Why am I even listening to this?  

The fundamental question crossed her mind. 

Had she come all this way just to scold me? That couldn’t be the reason.  

“What is it you came here for?”  

Leticia interrupted her and asked directly. Amina let out a soft, languid sigh and slowly traced her fingers along her jawline and neck.  

“Karl seems to really like you.”

Her words made Leticia’s shoulders flinch. Unconsciously, she pressed her teeth harder against her lower lip.  

“This has never happened before. That’s why, when Karl returns to Arhadan, I want you by his side.”  

“……”  

“The reason we came to Chevrem was to strengthen Karl’s position, but it’s actually gotten worse.”  

It was the same story Leticia had read in Hans’s letter. Knowing that his position was unstable made her heart waver. Things were supposed to be over between them, so she shouldn’t care—but she did.  

“It’s because of you that he’s acting this way. I’ve delayed things as much as I could, but I’ve grown tired of Chevrem and want to return soon.”  

“……”  

“We need to go back now. Honestly, I could just leave him here and go on my own, but he stubbornly stays behind. That’s not like him at all. Normally, he’s so straightforward and carefree. But now? It’s like he’s gotten dumber. How did you manage to sway him like this?”  

Amina narrowed her eyes and spoke with a casual tone. Once again, Leticia felt that strange emotion stirring inside her.  

For someone claiming to be Karl’s mother, Amina seemed to know very little about him.  

Karl Lavresion was not a simple person. Nor was he someone who lived thoughtlessly. Quite the opposite. Even though he had acted lightly and dismissed love as an illusion, he was, in reality, a cautious and deeply contemplative man. He wasn’t foolish, and she had never manipulated him.  

“That’s not true. Karl is actually a very complex and thoughtful person.”  

Amina raised an eyebrow.  

“I also thought Karl was just a lighthearted and kind man. And yes, he is kind, but… he’s more emotional and impulsive than anything else. He isn’t just a gentle person.”  

Karl didn’t understand his own feelings, which caused him to wander. Once Leticia understood this about him, she could see the reasons behind his actions and words.  

As he had once said, he couldn’t be certain of his own emotions. Unlike her.  

When Leticia finished speaking, Amina’s eyes widened.  

“You still like Karl, don’t you?”  

Her words made Leticia feel heat rush to her face. Her cheeks burned. She couldn’t deny it.  

Even though she didn’t trust his love, she couldn’t erase him from her heart.  

Once she had realized her desire to be loved, she couldn’t suppress it anymore. This applied not only to Karl Lavresion but also to her mother, the Emperor, and even Baron Evris. She still longed for their love, even though she knew it would never be reciprocated. And when that love wasn’t returned, it only hurt her more, so she had distanced herself.  

She told herself she had given up, but she hadn’t. She told herself she had let go, but she hadn’t.  

She was foolish like that. But that was who she was, and she couldn’t change it.  

“Then why did you leave him?”  

Leticia remained silent on that matter. She didn’t want to answer. It was a matter of pride. She didn’t want to reveal to others that she doubted and distrusted love itself.  

She glanced at the children watching her and Amina from a distance before walking past Amina.  

“…Please leave before it’s too late.”  

She felt Amina’s gaze follow her, and soon after, she heard a soft laugh. It sounded oddly similar to Karl’s laughter.  

“Fine. Well… it’s between the two of you, after all. I’ll leave. You seem to be doing well, unlike Karl.”  

“Yes.”  

With that final word, their conversation came to an end. Amina left, and Leticia, feeling drained, slumped down in front of the children.  

Selina blinked and pointed toward the door Amina had exited through.  

“Who was that?”  

“Hmm…”  

It felt awkward to say, ‘That was your grandmother.’ Leticia forced a smile and ruffled the children’s cheeks.  

She hadn’t wanted to know what kind of person Karl Lavresion’s mother was. Now that she did, it felt like learning something she would’ve been better off not knowing.