| 10. Why Is This One Like This Again

‘Is this how a mother feels when she goes to work leaving a sick child at home?’

Daphne checked her wristwatch. She tapped her arm with her index finger in time with the second hand’s movement.

Knock knock, after the knocking sound, the carriage door suddenly opened a moment later.

“Daph.”

Psyche, who gets drunk even on low-alcohol champagne, was visibly red-faced even under the small light bulb about the size of a baby’s fist.

“Psyche. Hello.”

“It’s been a while…”

Thanks to Romeo, who said he’d let them talk alone but even removed the footman who was supposed to escort them, Daphne got out of the carriage and extended her hand to her. Psyche grinned and tightly grasped Daphne’s hand with her small one.

After confirming that she had safely settled in her seat, Daphne was about to sit across from her, but Psyche patted the seat next to her, so Daphne sat down beside her with a sigh-like laugh.

Psyche naturally linked her arm with Daphne’s and rested her head on her shoulder. A fresh grape scent wafted into her nose.

‘If we could just arrive at the palace without saying anything, the reconciliation would be over.’

Daphne prayed that the drunk Psyche would fall asleep quickly.

“Daphne Teriosa…”

But that wasn’t likely. The name ‘Daphne Teriosa’ just pronounced in that pretty voice sent chills down her spine.

“Are you drunk? Daphne Teriosa, really?”

Psyche shook her head and then nodded. Since she was leaning on Daphne’s shoulder, it felt like she was rubbing her face against it.

“Psyche, your makeup will smear.”

“Daphne.”

Psyche, who had been making a groaning sound, fell silent for a moment. Daphne maintained silence without urging her. Once again, she prayed that she would fall asleep quickly.

“…Why Teriosa?”

Lord, is this a sign that fake believers should leave?

“Hm?”

Daphne widened her eyes, pretending she hadn’t heard well.

“Why, Daphne, you said you liked my husband until recently, but suddenly you like that man?”

It was a contradictory sentence.

‘Does she not feel strange calling him her husband?’

Daphne looked down at the golden hair tickling the back of her hand.

“I’ve always…”

Always? Daphne cut off her words abruptly. Psyche immediately asked another question.

“Did you want to become part of the imperial family, Daphne?”

“Oh, absolutely not.”

“If not, do you still hate me?”

“What? No.”

“If not that either, why him of all people? Since when? It doesn’t make sense. Why Daphne, why him of all people?”

‘This is inside a novel, you’re the female protagonist, and I was reborn in the novel remembering my past life. If I were to be precise, I’ve loved Celestian since my past life.’

If she said that… she’d be locked up in Daeum Mental Hospital right away.

“Are you upset that I love the prince?”

“Yes. I don’t like it.”

It was an answer without a hint of hesitation. Judging by her clear pronunciation, it seemed the alcohol was wearing off.

“Psyche, why do you dislike Cele so much?”

Daphne decided to pretend she knew nothing about what had happened between these two.

“Daphne, you call that man ‘Cele’?”

“It’s a pet name. I asked why you dislike him. Perhaps he’s a man you once had romantic feelings for?”

Psyche, who had suddenly raised her head, looked at Daphne with an indescribable curse in her eyes. If Celestian had seen this expression, he would have been deeply hurt. It was fortunate that Psyche seemed unaware of the appeal of a sorrowful handsome man.

“You might not know, Daphne, but that man is really terrible.”

“How is he terrible?”

“He’s someone who easily kills innocent people, massacres, slanders, and lives by exploiting weaknesses to manipulate others. The worst part is that he doesn’t get blood on his own hands.”

It was rare to see Psyche speak ill of others. Daphne found it so curious that she stretched her neck, trying to see the peach-scented girl.

“Daphne, even during the trial, he was the only one who survived. In the end, he cuts off his tail like that. Above all, he…”

“Psyche.”

Even if she spoke ill of Celestian at the top of her lungs like this, it was meaningless information to her. After all, he had never harmed her.

“Just think of him as dead. If you’ve read the newspapers, you’d know that I personally cut off all the limbs that plotted treason with him.”

Daphne stroked the back of Psyche’s hand that was holding hers with her other hand.

“Power comes from having capital and people who follow you, right? So he’s as good as dead now.”

“I already know he’s alive and well in your room.”

“Do you want to kill the man I love?”

“There are many men in the world. Surely there’s a man who suits you better than him…”

“I think I once said those words to you.”

Psyche closed her mouth. At the height of Romeo and Psyche’s romance that was driving everyone around them crazy, Daphne had vehemently insisted they should break up. While Romeo told Psyche everything he had done to Daphne when they were young.

At that time, Psyche had cunningly retorted to Daphne. Then why does Daphne want to marry you, Romeo? She asked at that time.

“Why do you like him?”

Just like now.

“Well…”

“Is it because he’s handsome?”

Unable to find a suitable reason, the answer Daphne had blurted out was, ‘Because he’s handsome.’

“Yes.”

Psyche sniffled.

“You know I really hate crying, Psyche.”

“I’m not crying.”

But her voice was trembling.

“Why don’t you understand my feelings? Teriosa is very different on the inside from how he looks on the outside, Daph. I’m afraid you’ll get hurt. That’s what I’m worried about.”

Psyche undoubtedly believed that Celestian would only love her for life. Daphne already knew this. And it was also what Daphne wanted.

“If you understood my feelings even a little when you heard he wasn’t dead…”

“Psyche, as you know. I get bored easily. This will pass.”

Daphne’s affection doesn’t last long. So someday, she’ll be able to dispose of Celestian appropriately at her discretion. By then, she’d need to set a new goal, but even if she spent what she had already gathered lavishly, her lifespan would be insufficient.

“Sometimes you say exactly the same things as Romeo, Daphne.”

Daphne, who had been looking at the streetlights passing by outside the window, turned to look at Psyche with an expression that said ‘what are you talking about?’

“You resemble Romeo.”

Daphne removed her hand from her face and stopped in shock. Is this what they mean when they say married couples become alike even without a wedding ceremony? I don’t understand why they’re both acting like this.

“Please, anything but that insult.”

Her words hit Daphne harder than any curse she had heard in her life.

“No, really, you’re so alike. Really.”

“Psyche.”

“Romeo also said he’d get tired of me, but when I disappeared, he destroyed your flower garden.”

“My head almost disappeared too.”

“…Even though he said he wouldn’t love me for life…”

He begged on his knees. Saying ‘Please, I love you.’

“You too, Daphne. Even though you said you hated me so much you wanted to kill me… now you love me.”

Daphne swears she never hated this girl enough to want to kill her, even if she found her annoying. It’s true that Daphne spoke a bit strongly back then because she was playing the role of the villain. But now it’s just embarrassing history.

By the way, what is Psyche trying to say?

“Alright, just tell me your conclusion now.”

Psyche, who had detached herself, stared at Daphne intently from a certain distance. Her delicate features were gradually adding an unapproachable, noble atmosphere.

“What now?”

“See? You’re exactly like Romeo.”

“Does he still treat you like this these days?”

“No. These days he listens well.”

Psyche answered seriously, furrowing her brow. Daphne burst into laughter.

“Right. He’s completely whipped for you, isn’t he?”

“But now it’s you who doesn’t listen.”

The female protagonist’s jewel-like eyes shone blue even in the darkness. Daphne shivered briefly, feeling an unnecessary chill.

“Will you take Teriosa to accompany you at my wedding?”

Psyche’s wedding will be held on a luxurious passenger ship. And only in the first-class section where only invited guests are allowed to enter.

The loser who crumbles watching her take the hand of another man at the end of the wedding aisle. That name─ Celestian Teriosa. Even though it was just imagination, her thrill was boiling up.

“Is that okay?”

Trying not to show her excitement from the imagination she had just tasted, Daphne lowered her voice and asked.

“No.”

The area under Psyche’s eyes lifted slightly. Her expression seemed to say ‘don’t talk nonsense.’

“What? Then why did you ask?”

“When do you plan to get bored of that love?”

“Huh?”

“Do you have plans to abandon him? After a week? Surely not after a year?”

“Psyche, ask one question at a time. You’re like a question mark killer¹used metaphorically to describe someone who asks a rapid succession of questions, often overwhelming the person being questioned.”

“You said you’d soon stop, that you’d get bored. When might that be?”

The question was strange. When Daphne showed rare confusion, Psyche hesitated and then let out a small sigh.

“Forgive me for asking such questions. But I… from now on, when I think of you, Daphne, I’ll also think of that man. It feels like a burden is growing in my heart.”

“A burden?”

“I keep feeling guilty for hating the person you say she likes.”

Although Psyche seemed like she couldn’t hurt even an ant, if given a knife right now, this girl might somehow manage to butcher the man she despises.

And to make matters worse, that man happens to be the one ‘Daphne Beaucater’ loves so much that she sold off a mine and bought off the press to save him. Psyche was clearly experiencing tremendous internal conflict.

“If you just don’t think about me… No. Psyche, you can continue to hate and dislike that man.”

“Even though he’s the person you… love?”

Daphne nodded with a confident expression.

“As long as Romeo is by your side, and I’m by that man’s side, he will never be able to harm you again.”

He might be looking at Psyche with very sorrowful eyes, but Daphne was planning to enjoy watching that very, very much.

“You need to be by my side too, Daphne.”

“Of course.”

Pleased with Daphne’s answer, Psyche smiled faintly as if her mood had improved, then put on a serious face again.

“So what I mean is… I wish you would get bored of that man right away, Daphne.”

“Hmm. But he’s too handsome to abandon right away. Try to understand.”

Psyche’s lips quivered like she was about to add something. Just as Daphne’s energy, which she had reserved to feign affection, was being depleted, they arrived at the palace gates with perfect timing.

Romeo was waiting outside in casual clothes, which Daphne noticed when she unconsciously looked out the window. The female protagonist’s face brightened completely upon seeing him.

‘They’re really lovey-dovey, damn it…’

After getting out of the carriage holding Romeo’s hand, Psyche turned to Daphne and said,

“Still, don’t take him to my wedding.”

The imagination from earlier was too tempting, so I don’t think I can do that. Daphne smiled subtly, raising the corners of her mouth without answering.

“Daphne.”

“Yes, Psyche.”

“It’s late, why don’t you stay over? As you know, there are many rooms in this palace.”

Psyche, nestled in Romeo’s arms, reached out and grabbed the hem of Daphne’s pants.

“It’s my palace.”

Her cousin’s sculpture-like face hardened like plaster. His expression looked as if he would exterminate her entire family if she didn’t disappear immediately. Psyche gently rubbed his waist with her elbow.

“Stay over, okay?”

Daphne lowered her posture, deliberately ignoring the burdensome golden gaze, and whispered just loud enough for Psyche to hear.

“He said he wanted to cut off my head and give it to you the day before yesterday.”

“What? Why would he want your head? Did Romeo really say that?”

“Yeah. He’s awful.”

“Cousin, stop talking nonsense and get lost.”

Ignoring him.

“Psyche, sleep well.”

Psyche giggled.

“You sleep well too, Daphne.”

After bidding goodnight in the sweetest way possible, Daphne closed the door and banged on the ceiling twice. The sound of hooves clopping grew loud, and Romeo’s palace quickly receded into the distance.

“That damn bastard of a crown prince. Why does he insist on keeping these carriages when we have cars?”

Daphne lay down on her side and covered her eyes with the back of her hand. The bumpy carriage induced nausea. And she wasn’t sure how many questions she had received in just a few minutes.

‘Does she hate Celestian that much?’

The blue eyes shining in the darkness of the night were always fascinating. They even seemed to hold a certain obsession.

‘The annihilation of her village, and then unwarranted kindness… Given Psyche’s personality, it could be possible.’

Daphne shrugged her shoulders once and shook off a lingering uneasiness. Anyway, it was more tiring than facing a stubborn reporter.

* * *

After being squeezed among people and then completely drained by the soon-to-be-married couple, and downing all the alcohol that came her way, Daphne passed out in the bathtub.

If Narid hadn’t come to turn off the lights and woken her up, Daphne would have nearly become a boiled chicken. Gently rubbing her skin that was hot enough to sting, she was only able to return to the room where Celestian was after midnight.

Although it was dark with the lights off, thanks to the faint light coming in from outside, she could immediately recognize the silhouette of Celestian sleeping in an uncomfortable position, all crumpled up on the sofa.

She reached out her hand over his forehead to check if his fever had gone down completely, but Celestian, startled, grabbed Daphne’s wrist. Their eyes met belatedly.

“Ah.”

Her hand was almost thrown off.

“Your reaction is slow, Prince. You should have woken up when the door opened. What if I had been an assassin?”

Daphne grumbled unnecessarily.

“…Scent.”

His voice was cracking in three different ways. Celestian let go of Daphne’s hand and coughed a couple of times, clenching his fist.

“Scent?”

Daphne raised her wrist and sniffed. It had a sweet scent. She was using the one Psyche had gifted her, as her usual one had run out.

‘Is it similar to Psyche’s scent?’

“No, it’s not.”

She asked, handing him a glass of water from the table.

“Did you think it was Psyche?”

The gulping sound he made while moistening his throat briefly stopped. The look he gave Daphne was quite peculiar.

“You pervert.”

Daphne was thoroughly pleased.

After turning up the lamp on the windowsill, Daphne sat cross-legged on the lavender cushioned stool at the prince’s feet. It seemed to be the first time they were facing each other at this hour, because the handsome man usually falls asleep at ten o’clock sharp.

“Cele.”

She wiggled her index finger, beckoning him closer. With a small sigh, the prince obediently leaned his upper body forward. Daphne checked his forehead with the back of her hand.

His forehead was warm compared to her hand, but not as severely hot as before she went out.

“Medicine?”

“I took it.”

“Dinner?”

A shake of the head.

“Not hungry?”

A nod.

‘It’s when he doesn’t have an appetite. He must have sweated a lot and his blood sugar dropped.’

Having just finished bathing, Daphne felt a bit drowsy, and Celestian wasn’t likely to speak up first.

She placed her hands on her knees and admired Celestian’s face next to the flickering lamplight. His features were distinctly different from that annoying Romeo.

‘Their colors are different too.’

While he looked cold when he’s not smiling, when he smiled with his cheeks lifted, he gave off a sweetness that would make cotton candy jealous.

“Do you bathe in cold water?”

Surprisingly, it was Celestian who broke the silence.

“Cold water? No. Why?”

“Your hands are cold.”

He said, looking at Daphne’s hands. Daphne casually opened and closed her hands while answering plainly.

“Ah, they’re always like this. Poor circulation?”

“Poor what?”

“Never mind. My feet are cold too.”

She placed the sole of her foot on top of Celestian’s. He seemed slightly surprised but didn’t pull away. Suddenly, her gaze was drawn to his bare feet.

“Your feet are pretty too.”

Unlike her own feet, which had tree-like scars climbing up to her shins, Celestian’s large feet were as smooth as if a sculptor with a foot fetish had made them while shedding tears of blood.

‘Should I make three or four pairs of lasts²a shoemaker’s last, which is a mechanical form shaped like a human foot and display them in the new bedroom?’

She stared at the man’s feet for a while, then folded her legs under her skirt, grabbed her ankles, and hunched her shoulders. A breeze swept in through the window, brushing past her still-damp hair before disappearing.

“Is this the bedroom you’ve been sleeping in lately?”

Celestian asked, lifting his head and looking around the room.

“Ah, this is my daughter’s room.”

That was a lie.

This room, which looked exactly like the one Daphne had used in Serenade, was ‘the prince’s bedroom’ that she had prepared to put Celestian in when she brought him here.

But she didn’t want to appear truly insane, so she pretended to have given up her own room. If she had known he would cause such a ruckus, she would have stuck him in here from the start.

“You have a daughter?”

Celestian looked genuinely surprised.

“Yes.”

While Daphne briefly constructed her story, Celestian continued to keep his mouth shut.

“…I’ve never seen her.”

“Of course not. She’s not here.”

“Where is she then?”

Daphne suppressed a laugh. She deliberately put on a face full of emotion and sighed. Then she gazed wistfully out the window.

“Well, I wonder if she would have been a tomboy if she had been born?”

“Hm?”

“I had a miscarriage. When I was seventeen.”

At Daphne’s hollow voice, Celestian took a deep breath.

• 1
  used metaphorically to describe someone who asks a rapid succession of questions, often overwhelming the person being questioned
• 2
  a shoemaker’s last, which is a mechanical form shaped like a human foot