Chapter 4 – Cheap Romance (Part 1)

Soo-yeon finally unveiled the artworks she had painted day and night. Amid the bustling exhibition hall, she let conversations with people pass by while she kept glancing at the entrance. Even though she knew the man who had intruded into her life wouldn’t come again.

Since returning from that dark and damp gambling den, Soo-yeon had not contacted Hee-tae. Despite this, she held the exhibition, hoping he might hear about her through some advertis*ment. She harbored the cowardly expectation that he might come at least once with a resentful look, thinking it was infuriating for her to be living carefree and holding exhibitions after leaving like that. But he did not come.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

Noticing Soo-yeon unconsciously keeping her eyes on the entrance, someone asked. She shook her head and brushed it off with a forced smile. 

He wouldn’t come. 

Soo-yeon realized only when their relationship ended, which she had reluctantly succumbed to, that he had also conceded many things to maintain their relationship. Hee-tae had yielded to her till the end, so he would never tread into her life again unless she sought him first.

“Soo-yeon.”

Turning her head at the sound of a middle-aged woman calling her, Soo-yeon saw her mother standing there. It was her mother, whom she hadn’t seen in a long time. She had more wrinkles on her face than the last time they met, making her feel unfamiliar. It was unclear whether it was due to the difficult postpartum recovery from giving birth at an advanced age or the struggles of raising a child in her twilight years. 

A small child approached quickly and introduced himself in front of Soo-yeon.

“Hello. I am Seong Chan-hoo. I am six years old and live at 22, Baekma-daero 37beon-gil, Daewoo Villa, Apt 301. I like marine mammals.”

With his slightly awkward speech and gaze wandering through the air while he spoke, it was clear that he was different from his peers. He was a child with an intellectual disability. He seemed to acquire language skills faster than others his age, like an overgrown finger. Soo-yeon quietly looked down at Chan-hoo’s face, which closely resembled her mother’s. She thought she would feel jealous when she saw her mother’s child, but the moment she saw the little boy with his white, round-rimmed glasses, even that feeling disappeared.

“Chan-hoo, why don’t you go to your dad for a moment?”

Soo-yeon’s mother’s husband gave a somewhat awkward nod as if greeting her, then took the child away, leaving an awkward silence between the mother and daughter.

Soo-yeon had never gone to see her biological mother, who had left her in that house after the divorce, fearing she might have a happy family. She couldn’t bear to see it, fearing it would make her feel inadequate. However, she had never thought her mother might have had her reasons for not coming to see her.

“As you can see, the child has a disability. I guess I was never a mother to you. I wandered for a long time as if I were a first-time mother.”

Soo-yeon’s mother broke the heavy silence. Soo-yeon felt her heart grow heavy at her mother’s self-deprecating words. She couldn’t say anything, fearing it might sound like consolation. She could only swallow her mother’s words.

“I fought so much with the child’s father over parenting issues that we were on the brink of divorce. The child was even harder to handle than now…”

“…”

“After leaving you, I should at least show you that I’m doing well, but I couldn’t bear to show you that.”

She was saying that she couldn’t bring herself to visit, fearing her daughter might have to comfort her for starting a new family. Soo-yeon felt a sting in her nose and turned her gaze to the paintings.

People don’t realize how much courage it takes to show their ugly side. For instance, like now, showing all her flaws but not having the courage to go to Hee-tae. Standing next to Soo-yeon, her mother looked at the paintings and said,

“You haven’t held an exhibition for a long time. They say that artists are like that. They spend so much time looking at their own work that they can’t tell if it’s any good.”

“……”

“But isn’t life the same? How many people would find their own life looking good through their own eyes?”

They say life is a comedy when viewed from a distance, but a tragedy when seen up close. Unfortunately, Soo-yeon’s life was too close to her, making it painful. She knew her own flaws too well, making her fearful of making choices because her past wrong decisions were so clear. Even though she knew there was no right answer in life, and that in her life, the choices she made were the only right ones, she still feared the unknown path.

Still, people feared the unknown path and hesitated to take the first step. Afraid that going to Hee-tae would be the wrong answer, she suppressed her flowing emotions over and over. But the more she suppressed them, the more she found herself waiting for him as if she had reached her limit.

“When your paintings look bad to you, just take comfort in looking at me. I left behind a rich man from a good family to remarry a man I loved, only to now be on the brink of divorce, raising a child and living every day like it’s a battle.”

“……”

“Look at other people’s lives and think, ‘My life is okay,’ and take some petty comfort. It’s not bad. So what if you’re not good? What can others do about it?”

Soo-yeon’s mother spoke in a tone that seemed indifferent to everything now. She appeared serene, like a rock that had been worn smooth by countless waves. As Soo-yeon listened to her mother’s words, she had only one thought.

She missed him. She missed Hee-tae. Foolishly, she had let her pride get in the way and had made all sorts of excuses to avoid being with Hee-tae. Now, those excuses were all pointless.

“Eui-jeong, Eui-jeong!”

It was then that her mother’s husband came running into the gallery, where soft music was playing, shouting loudly. Even without the child, his pale face alone revealed something was wrong. The backpack that Chan-hoo had been wearing like a shell was in the man’s hand. The bracelet with the GPS function was also in his hand. He spoke in a voice that was almost in tears.

“Chan-hoo is gone. Chan-hoo…”

The exhibition hall was quite large and spacious. Even after the missing child announcement, there was no news about the boy for a long time. As time passed, it became clear that it wasn’t just because the building was large that they couldn’t find him. It was evident that something had happened. When the police were eventually called, they went to the control room to check the CCTV footage from the time the child went missing and relayed the news with a grim look.

“We checked the CCTV. The child went outside.”

Soo-yeon helplessly watched her mother’s face crumble silently. The missing child was only six years old and had an intellectual disability. Soo-yeon felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as her mother had brought the whole family to see her, and now the child was missing. She felt like a criminal even though she wasn’t at fault. As time passed, her nerves wore thin and her options dwindled.

She soon stepped outside and called Hee-tae. She had never thought that if she ever contacted him again, it would be at a time like this.

– You’ve kept me waiting for a long time.

After a few rings, the familiar voice made her nose tingle. Hearing Hee-tae’s voice filled her with embarrassment, relief, and longing, almost suffocating her. She was grateful that he answered her call as if he had been waiting for her and as if they had spoken just yesterday. Swallowing the lump in her throat that threatened to turn into sobs, she finally spoke.

“So, I’m sorry. I’m now, ah…”

It had been a long time since she had spoken so incoherently. Hee-tae patiently waited for her to collect herself and speak, making it even harder for her. She wasn’t calling to say she missed him but for another reason, which made her feel incredibly ashamed. She regretted not calling him before she was driven to this, before she had to contact him for such a selfish reason. Swallowing her regret, she finally managed to speak.

“You’re the only one I can think of right now. I know it’s shameless, but…”

– Damn, why would we need shame between us? If you needed me, you should have called sooner.

Hee-tae quickly assessed the situation from the other end of the line. Soo-yeon gripped her phone tighter at his straightforward response. She remembered her last words to him, accusing him of enjoying exploiting others’ misfortunes. She regretted saying that. Who was she to judge others when she hadn’t lived a life of virtue herself? Now, after saying such things, she was asking him for help, knowing he would handle it well. She bit her lip and continued explaining the situation.

“A child, a kid has gone missing. He’s six years old, wearing white-rimmed glasses, and has an intellectual disability…”

– Send me a picture. I’ll find him quickly.

Hee-tae responded swiftly. Soo-yeon got a photo from her mother and sent it to Hee-tae. She also explained the last place the child was seen and details from the CCTV footage. Hee-tae listened without asking whose child it was or the specifics of the situation. With a voice full of confidence, he reassured her that he would find the child soon and hung up.

It was less than two hours later when he contacted her again. He simply said, “Found the kid,” followed by an address.